Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    When light destroys shadows, darkness does not gain in density elsewhere. When shadows steal over earth and across the sky, darkness is not diluted. Featuring an Introduction by Aliette De Bodard, Conservation of Shadows features a selection of short stories from Yoon Ha Lee.Content"Ghostweight" (2011)"The Shadow Postulates" (2007)"The Bones of Giants" (2009)"Between Two Dragons" (2010)"Swanwatch" (2009)"Effigy Nights" (2013)"Flower, Mercy, Needle, Chain" (2010)"Iseul's Lexicon" (2013)"Counting the Shapes" (2001)"Blue Ink" (2008)"The Battle of Candle Arc" (2012) "A Vector Alphabet of Interstellar Travel" (2011)"The Unstrung Zither" (2009) "The Black Abacus" (2002)"The Book of Locked Doors" (2012)"Conservation of Shadows" (2012)

    Hamantaschen’s third collection of short stories delivers more inimitable dark fiction. These are eleven tales of macabre horror, filled with estrangement, honor, wonder, terror, delusion, pity, desperation and perseverance.

    Gone are the cartoon images of wizened gray-haired men in pointy caps creating magic with a wave of their wands. Today's wizards are more subtle in their powers, more discerning in their ways, and-in the hands of modern fantasists-more likely than ever to capture readers' imaginations.In Neil Gaiman's "The Witch's Headstone," a piece taken from his much-anticipated novel in progress, an eight-year-old boy learns the power of kindness from a long-dead sorceress. Only one woman possesses two kinds of magic-enough to unite two kingdoms-in Garth Nix's "Holly and Iron." Patricia A. McKillip's "Naming Day" gives a sorcery student a lesson in breaking the rules. And a famished dove spins a tale worthy of a meal, but perhaps not the truth, in "A Fowl Tale" by Eoin Colfer.

    Because a predator lies in wait. This compelling new collection from the editors of the bestselling Stalkers tells of worlds where evil waits and watches...and kills. Each story will send chills up your spine, keep you burning the lights all night, and have you looking over your shoulder—just in case the Predator is there. So lock your doors, check your windows, and get ready to savor fiction that touches the primeval places…where all your screams are born.

    Unabashedly classic in the great tradition of Asimov and Clarke, Liu Cixin's science-fiction is firmly rooted in the cosmic. “[most] literature has always left me with the impression of indulging an intense anthropocentric narcissism. […] In the world of literature, the Sun exists for no other reason than to illuminate the pure, unadulterated countryside, the Moon has no other reason to shine than to cast the shadows of the seaside lovers, [but] if the universe is the Sahara, then all that makes the Earth a grain of gold within it, is that a particular bacteria called humanity clinging to its surface.” Liu Cixin uses the unique perspective of science-fiction to take us on a journey into this majestic, desolate cosmos. He gives us the chance to reacquaint ourselves with the fundamental truth that in the face of a vast universe we are no more than a speck of dust; That the Earth is just another celestial body – And an extremely vulnerable one at that. The flash of a gamma-ray burst or the blast of a nearby supernova could, at any moment, reduce our cherished home to nothing but ashes.It can be terrifying to contemplate the end of our world and stories that describe such destruction can be disturbing. At the same time however, they can leave us feeling not only entertained, but exhilarated and inspired. Maybe, they can even give us a chance to renew our love of life. Most stories found in the “The Wandering Earth” collection take us to a sci-fi vision of Earth's end. But here, there are no Hollywood aliens, descending from the depths of space to blow up our cities. In these futures, the dangers humanity faces are much stranger and whimsical than that. The unexpected calamities that befall his richly detailed worlds are only eclipsed by humanity's epic, but always plausible, attempts to escape destruction.In all this peril and doom, Liu Cixin always feels for humanity. His stories are full of a deep love for all of Earth's peoples. But even this love does not escape reflection and even ridicule when viewed through his unrelenting cosmic lens. No matter how dearly one loves the Earth, humanity and all its cultures, there is no avoiding the cold, hard truth that they mean absolutely nothing when viewed against the vastness of the universe. But even an infinite universe could not change the simple fact that we are worthy of love, that we need love. It is this twist that lies at the very heart of the stories in this collection.Table of Contents 1 The Wandering Earth 2 Mountain 3 Of Ants and Dinosaurs 4 Sun of China 5 The Wages of Humanity 6 Curse 5.0 7 The Micro-Age 8 Devourer 9 Taking Care of Gods 10 With Her Eyes 11 The Longest Fall

    But here in Ancelstierre, Nick faces an obstacle that is not entirely human, with a strange power that seems to come from Nicholas himself.With Nicholas Sayre and the Creature in the Case Garth Nix continues to explore the magical world of the Abhorsen Trilogy. In additional short stories that range from two widely different takes on the Merlin myth to a gritty urban version of Hansel and Gretel and a heartbreaking story of children and war, Garth Nix displays the range and versatility that has made him one of today’s leading writers of fantasy for readers of all ages.

    Snyder, Tim Curran, Pete Rawlik, Sam Gafford, Christine Morgan, Cody Goodfellow and many more, Return of the Old Ones: Apocalyptic Lovecraftian Horror continues the Dark Regions Weird Fiction line with 19 original stories from some of the best authors in Lovecraftian horror and weird fiction today. Return of the Old Ones will only have one signed edition (deluxe slipcased hardcover) and will feature a similar stamp design to the popular Cthulhu head stamping featured on the World War Cthulhu hardcovers. It will be signed by all contributors and will feature the original color cover artwork by Vincent Chong as color end sheets.

    This landmark collection gathers four groundbreaking fantasy classics from the acclaimed author of Light.Set in the imagined city of Viriconium, here are the masterworks that revolutionized a genre and enthralled a generation of readers: The Pastel City, A Storm of Wings, In Viriconium, and Viriconium Knights.Contents:The Pastel City, 1971 (novel)A Storm of Wings, 1980 (novel)In Viriconium, 1982 (novel)The Lamia & Lord Cromis, 1971 (short story)Viriconium Knights, 1981 (short story)The Luck in the Head, 1984 (novelette)Strange Great Sins, 1983 (short story)The Lords of Misrule, 1984 (short story)The Dancer from the Dance, 1985 (short story)A Young Man’s Journey to Viriconium, 1985 (short story)

    Step into a world that defies all logic. One of Masturbatory headphones, diabolically toppled comb-jars, moustache-filled ejaculations, malfunctioning bookmarks, bricolage scrotums, wank fairies and a poorly conceived theory regarding wall stability. A world where ball popping is the only solution to the scrotum's poor aesthetic qualities and true love can lead a man to transpose menstruation across gender lines. Not to mention a blink so immensely powerful that mild abrasion can ensue. There s also a lime. Truly some of the strangest stories ever told. In his debut collection Matthew Revert has concocted a bizarre vortex of fiction by turns hilarious, disturbing, thought-provoking and just plain odd. A Million Versions of Right will force you to find logic in the illogic and shun anything resembling common sense. Like the faecal scrawl of a madman without the unpleasant smell

    . . .There is a life lived beneath the water—among rotted buildings and bloated corpses—by those so overburdened by the world's demands that they simply give up and go under. . . .In this mesmerizing blend of the familiar and the fantastic, multiple award-winning New York Times notable author Jeffrey Ford creates true wonders and infuses the mundane with magic. In tales marked by his distinctive, dark imagery and fluid, exhilarating prose, he conjures up an annual gale that transforms the real into the impossible, invents a strange scribble that secretly unites a significant portion of society, and spins the myriad dreams of a restless astronaut and his alien lover. Bizarre, beautiful, unsettling, and sublime, The Drowned Life showcases the exceptional talents of one of contemporary fiction's most original artists.

    Now, two hundred years after Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, SF-expert Lisa Yaszek presents the best of the female tradition in American science fiction, in the most comprehensive collection of its kind ever published. From Pulp Era pioneers to New Wave experimentalists, here are over two dozen brilliant writers ripe for discovery and rediscovery, including Leslie F. Stone ("The Conquest of Gola," 1931), Judith Merril ("That Only a Mother," 1948), Leigh Brackett ("All the Colors of the Rainbow," 1957), Kit Reed ("The New You," 1962), Joanna Russ ("The Barbarian," 1968); Ursula K. Le Guin ("Nine Lives," 1969), and James Tiptree Jr. ("Last Flight of Dr. Ain," 1969). Imagining strange worlds and unexpected futures, looking into and beyond new technologies and scientific discoveries, in utopian fantasies and tales of cosmic horror, these women created and shaped speculative fiction as surely as their male counterparts. Their provocative, mind-blowing stories combine to form a thrilling multidimensional voyage of literary-feminist exploration and recovery.Contents:Introduction / Lisa Yaszek --The miracle of the lily / Clare Winger Harris --The conquest of Gola / Leslie F. Stone --The black god's kiss / C. L. Moore --Space episode / Leslie Perri --That only a mother / Judith Merril --In hiding / Wilmar H. Shiras --Contagion / Katherine Maclean --The inhabited men / Margaret St. Clair --Ararat / Zenna Henderson --All cats are gray / Andrew North --Created he them / Alice Eleanor Jones --Mr. Sakrison's halt / Mildred Clingerman --All the colors of the rainbow / Leigh brackett --Pelt / Carol Emshwiller --Car pool / Rosel George Brown --For sale, reasonable / Elizabeth Mann Borgese --Birth of a gardener / Doris Pitkin Buck --The tunnel ahead / Alice Glaser --The new you / Kit Reed --Another rib / John Jay Wells & Marion Zimmer Bradley --When I was Miss Dow / Sonya Dorman --Baby, you were great / Kate Wilhelm --The barbarian / Joanna Russ --The last flight of Dr. Ain / James Tiptree Jr --Nine lives / Ursula K Le Guin --Biographical notes.

    Including stories from the 1970s to the present day, the collection seeks to expand the conversation about feminism while engaging the reader in a wealth of imaginative ideas. Sisters of the Revolution seeks to expand the ideas of both contemporary fiction and feminism to new fronts.Contents:The forbidden words of Margaret A. / L. Timmel Duchamp --My flannel knickers / Leonora Carrington --The mothers of Shark Island / Kit Reed --The palm tree bandit / Nnedi Okorafor --The grammarian's five daughters / Eleanor Arnason --And Salome danced / Kelley Eskridge --The perfect married woman / Angélica Gorodischer --The glass bottle trick / Nalo Hopkinson --Their mother's tears : the fourth letter / Leena Krohn --The screwfly solution / James Tiptree, Jr. --Seven losses of na Re / Rose Lemberg --The evening and the morning and the night / Octavia E. Butler --The sleep of plants / Anne Richter --The men who live in trees / Kelly Barnhill --Tales from the breast / Hiromi Goto --The Fall River axe murders / Angela Carter --Love and sex among the invertebrates / Pat Murphy --When it changed / Joanna Russ --The woman who thought she was a planet / Vandana Singh --Gestella / Susan Palwick --Boys / Carol Emshwiller --Stable strategies for middle management / Eileen Gunn --Northern chess / Tanith Lee --Aunts / Karin Tidbeck --Sur / Ursula K. Le Guin --Fears / Pamela Sargent --Detours on the way to nothing / Rachel Swirsky --Thirteen ways of looking at space/time / Catherynne M. Valente --Home by the sea / Elisabeth Vonaburg.

    Christmas comes but once a year--which is too bad, because the stories in this dazzling collection are fun to read anytime. They put a speculative spin on the holiday, giving fans of acclaimed author Connie Willis a welcome gift and a dozen reasons to be of good cheer. Brimming with Willis's trademark insights and imagination, these heartwarming tales are full of humor, absurdity, human foibles, tragedy, joy, and hope. They both embrace and send up many of the best Christmas traditions, including the Christmas newsletter, Secret Santas, office parties, holiday pageants, and Christmas dinners (both elaborate and spare). There are Rockettes, the best and worst Christmas movies, modern-day Magi, Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, and Yet to Come--and the triumph of generosity over greed. Like the timeless classics we return to year after year, these stories affirm our faith in love, magic, and the wonder of the season.Stories included:- Miracle- All About Emily- Inn- All Seated on the Ground- In Coppelius's Toyshop- Adaptation- deck.halls@bought/holly- Cat's Paw- Now Showing- Newsletter- Epiphany- Just Like the Ones We Used to Know

    Contributors include: Jeff VanderMeer, Caitlín Kiernan, Mary Robinette Kowal, Jay Lake, Cherie Priest, Cat Rambo, Catherynne M. Valente, Genevieve Valentine, and many more.Contents:Steampunk : looking to the future through the lens of the past / Ekaterina Sedia --Fixing Hanover / Jeff VanderMeer --The Steam Dancer (1896) / Caitlin R. Kierman --Icebreaker / E. Catherine Tobler --Tom Edison and his amazing telegraphic harpoon / Jay Lake --The Zeppelin Conductors' Society Annual Gentlemen's Ball / Genevieve Valentine Clockwork fairies / Cat Rambo --The mechanical aviary of Emperor Jala-ud-din Muhammad Akbar / Shweta Narayan --Prayers of forges and furnaces / Aliette de Bodard --The effluent engine / N.K. Jemisin --The clockwork goat and the smokestack magi / Peter M. Ball --The armature of flight / Sharon Mock --The anachronist's cookbook / Catherynne M. Valente --Numismatics in the reigns of Naranh and Viu / Alex Dally MacFarlane --Zeppelin City / Eileen Gunn & Michael Swanwick --The people's machine / Tobias S. Buckell --The hands that feed / Matthew Kressel --Machine maid / Margo Lanagan --To follow the waves / Amal El-Mohtar --Clockmaker's requiem / Barth Anderson --Dr Lash remembers / Jeffrey Ford --Lady Witherspoon's solution / James Morrow --Reluctance / Cherie Priest --A serpent in the gears / Margaret Ronald --The celebrated carousel of the Margravine of Blois / Megan Arkenberg --Biographical notes to ''A discourse on the nature of causality, with air-planes'' by Benjamin Rosenbaum / Benjamin Rosenbaum --Clockwork chickadee / Mary Robinette Kowal --Cinderella suicide / Samantha Henderson --Arbeitskraft / Nick Mamatas --To seek her fortune / Nicole Kornher-Stace --The ballad of the last human / Lavie Tidhar.