People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts


Robert Bolton - 1979
    Maybe you listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other. Or maybe your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you. People Skills is a communication skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these “roadblocks” damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations. People Skills will show you: · How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques · How body language often speaks louder than words · How to use silence as a valuable communication tool · How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life


Emily Nagoski - 2015
    So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal.Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm. Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.And Emily Nagoski can prove it.

The End of Absence: Reclaiming What We've Lost in a World of Constant Connection


Michael Harris - 2014
    What does this unavoidable fact mean?For future generations, it won't mean anything very obvious. They will be so immersed in online life that questions about the Internet's basic purpose or meaning will vanish.But those of us who have lived both with and without the crowded connectivity of online life have a rare opportunity. We can still recognize the difference between Before and After. We catch ourselves idly reaching for our phones at the bus stop. Or we notice how, mid-conversation, a fumbling friend dives into the perfect recall of Google.In this eloquent and thought-provoking book, Michael Harris argues that amid all the changes we're experiencing, the most interesting is the one that future generations will find hardest to grasp. That is the end of absence-the loss of lack. The daydreaming silences in our lives are filled; the burning solitudes are extinguished. There's no true "free time" when you carry a smartphone. Today's rarest commodity is the chance to be alone with your own thoughts.

Emily Post's Etiquette


Peggy Post - 1922
    Features twenty new chapters that cover such areas as Internet behavior, raising well-mannered children, dating, post-September 11 travel etiquette, tipping, and observing religious ceremonies.

Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don't, and How to Make Any Change Stick


Jeremy Dean - 2012
    How long should it take before you stop having to force it and start doing it automatically?The surprising answers are found in Making Habits, Breaking Habits, a psychologist's popular examination of one of the most powerful and under-appreciated processes in the mind. Although people like to think that they are in control, much of human behavior occurs without any decision-making or conscious thought.Drawing on hundreds of fascinating studies, psychologist Jeremy Dean busts the myths to finally explain why seemingly easy habits, like eating an apple a day, can be surprisingly difficult to form, and how to take charge of your brain's natural “autopilot” to make any change stick.Witty and intriguing, Making Habits, Breaking Habits shows how behavior is more than just a product of what you think. It is possible to bend your habits to your will—and be happier, more creative, and more productive.

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself


Shahida Arabi - 2016
    Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse." Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual. Since pathological narcissists are unlikely to seek treatment for their disorder, it is difficult to pinpoint what exactly makes a narcissistic abuser tick and the manipulative tactics they use, which are likely to differ from those of other types of abusers as they are more covert and underhanded. What is even more baffling is the addiction we form with our narcissistic abusers, created by biochemical bonds and trauma bonds that are also unlike any other relationship we experience. In this book, survivors will learn:•The red flags of narcissistic behavior and covert manipulation tactics, including subtle signs many survivors don't catch in the early stages of dating a narcissist.•The motives behind narcissistic abuse and techniques to resist a narcissist's manipulation.•Why abuse survivors usually stay with a narcissist long after incidents of abuse occur.•How our own brain chemistry locks us into an addiction with a narcissistic or toxic partner, creating cravings for the constant chaos of the abuse cycle.•Traditional and alternative methods to begin to detach and heal from the addiction to the narcissist, including eleven important steps all survivors must take on the road to healing.•Methods to rewrite the narratives that abusers have written for us so we can begin to reconnect with our authentic selves and purpose.•How to rebuild an even more victorious and empowering life after abuse.Narcissistic partners employ numerous stealthy tactics to devalue and manipulate their victims behind closed doors. These partners lack empathy and demonstrate an incredible sense of entitlement and sense of superiority which drives their exploitative behavior in interpersonal relationships. Their tactics can include verbal abuse and emotional invalidation, stonewalling, projection, taking control of every aspect of the victim’s life, gaslighting and triangulation. Due to the narcissistic partner’s “false self,” the charismatic mask he or she projects to society, the victim often feels isolated in this type of abuse and is unlikely to have his or her experiences validated by friends, family and society. Using the latest scientific research as well as thousands of survivor accounts, this book will explore how the emotional manipulation tactics of narcissistic and antisocial partners affect those around them, particularly with regards to its cumulative socioemotional and psychological effects on the victim. It will also address questions such as: What successful techniques, tools and healing modalities (both traditional and alternative) are available to survivors who have been ridiculed, manipulated, verbally abused and subject to psychological warfare? What can survivors do to better engage in self-love and self-care? How can they forge the path to healthier relationships, especially if they've been a victim of narcissistic abuse by multiple people or raised by a narcissist? Most importantly, how can they use their experiences of narcissistic abuse to empower themselves towards personal development? What can their interactions with a narcissistic abuser teach them about themselves,their relationship patterns and the wounds that still need to be healed in order to move forward into the happy relationships and victorious lives they do deserve?

Everything Is Workable: A Zen Approach to Conflict Resolution


Diane Musho Hamilton - 2013
         Everything Is Workable gives readers the tools they need for dynamic, vital, and effective relationships, both personal and professional. Diane Musho Hamilton draws on her years of experience as a professional mediator, Zen practitioner, and student of Ken Wilber's Integral Philosophy to present a spiritual approach to conflict resolution, providing teachings along with practices and exercises that can be applied to any sort of relationship in which conflict is a factor.Few people would say they like conflict. Most of us try like heck to avoid it. If we take up meditation practice, we often expect that to make conflict go away. But . . . surprise! It never does. We still disagree with each other, argue, get hurt, say things we didn't mean to say. It's at the very least inconvenient. It's often also destructive. We're stuck with conflict as long as we're human beings with jobs, relationships, or dry cleaning to be picked up. Meditation practice enables us to touch the inner source of clarity, understanding, compassion, and peace--yet the equanimity that we cultivate on the cushion does not always translate into skillfulness in the way we handle conflict in our personal lives. Interpersonal conflict ends up being the most difficult and painful part of our path. Though meditation is incomparably helpful, it doesn't make the sticky interpersonal issues go away. Conflict resolution skills are needed. Diane Musho Hamilton suggests that we make conflict resolution a valued part of our practice.

This Is Me Letting You Go


Heidi Priebe - 2016
    In a world that teaches us to cling to what we love at all costs, there is an undeniable art to moving on – and it’s one that we are constantly relearning. In this series of honest and poignant essays, Heidi Priebe explores the harsh reality of what it means to let go of the people and situations we love most - often before we are ready to – and how to embrace what comes next.

The Art of Dealing with People


Les Giblin - 1899
    The author lays down tested methods of getting along with people. In simple, easy to read language, Les Giblin shows you How to: 1 Achieve your Goals. 2 Handle the human ego. 3 Create a good impression. 4 Communicate effectively. 5 Develop an attractive personality. 6 Convince others to see your point of view. LES GIBLIN was one of the pioneers of the personal development industry. His timeless message of making Skills with People the essential ability in your life, has transcended generations and taken new meaning in today’s world of impersonal communication. His books have sold millions of copies worldwide.

How to Live on 24 Hours a Day


Arnold Bennett - 1908
    Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your immortal soul. This timeless classic is one of the first self-help books ever written and was a best-seller in both England and America. It remains as useful today as when it was written, and offers fresh and practical advice on how to make the most of the daily miracle of life.

Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You


Christopher Hadnagy - 2021
    Make friends, influence people, and leave them feeling better for having met you by being more empathetic, generous, and kind.Eroding social conventions, technology, and rapid economic change are making human beings more stressed and socially awkward and isolated than ever. We live in our own bubbles, reluctant to connect, and feeling increasingly powerless, insecure, and apprehensive when communicating with others.A pioneer in the field of social engineering and a master hacker, Christopher Hadnagy specializes in understanding how malicious attackers exploit principles of human communication to access information and resources through manipulation and deceit. Now, he shows you how to use social engineering as a force for good—to help you regain your confidence and control. Human Hacking provides tools that will help you establish rapport with strangers, use body language and verbal cues to your advantage, steer conversations and influence other’s decisions, and protect yourself from manipulators. Ultimately, you’ll become far more self-aware about how you’re presenting yourself—and able to use it to improve your life. Hadnagy includes lessons and interactive “missions”—exercises spread throughout the book to help you learn the skills, practice them, and master them. With Human Hacking, you’ll soon be winning friends, influencing people, and achieving your goals.

Happiness is an Inside Job


John Joseph Powell - 1989
    John Powell describes for us the ten practice that he sees as neccessary if we are to be successful in our quest for happiness.

Liars and Outliers: Enabling the Trust that Society Needs to Thrive


Bruce Schneier - 2012
    We don't do a chemical analysis on food we eat.Trust and cooperation are the first problems we had to solve before we could become a social species. In the 21st century, they have become the most important problems we need to solve — again. Our global society has become so large and complex that our traditional trust mechanisms no longer work.Bruce Schneier, world-renowned for his level-headed thinking on security and technology, tackles this complex subject head-on. Society can't function without trust, and yet must function even when people are untrustworthy.Liars and Outliers reaches across academic disciplines to develop an understanding of trust, cooperation, and social stability. From the subtle social cues we use to recognize trustworthy people to the laws that punish the noncompliant, from the way our brains reward our honesty to the bank vaults that keep out the dishonest, keeping people cooperative is a delicate balance of rewards and punishments. It's a series of evolutionary tricks, social pressures, legal mechanisms, and physical barriers.In the absence of personal relationships, we have no choice but to substitute security for trust, compliance for trustworthiness. This progression has enabled society to scale to unprecedented complexity, but has also permitted massive global failures.At the same time, too much cooperation is bad. Without some level of rule-breaking, innovation and social progress become impossible. Society stagnates.Today's problems require new thinking, and Liars and Outliers provides that. It is essential that we learn to think clearly about trust. Our future depends on it.

The Flinch


Julien Smith - 2011
    Julien Smith has delivered a surprise, a confrontation, a book that will push you, scare you and possibly stick with you for years to come. The idea is simple: your flinch mechanism can save your life. It shortcircuits the conscious mind and allows you to pull back and avoid danger faster than you can even imagine it’s there. But what if danger is exactly what you need? What if facing the flinch is the one best way to get what you want? Here’s a chance to read the book everyone will be talking about, before they do. What are you afraid of? Here's how to find out.

Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First.: 10 Questions to Take Your Friendships to the Next Level


Laura Tremaine - 2021
    I'll Go First. is the invitation you've been waiting for to show up with your whole self and discover the intimate, meaningful friendships you long for. In spite of the hyper-connected culture we live in today, women still feel shamed for oversharing and being publicly vulnerable. And no matter how many friends we seem to have, many of us are still desperately lonely. Laura Tremaine, blogger and podcaster behind 10 Things To Tell You, says it's time for something better. Openness and vulnerability are the foundation for human growth and healthy relationships, and it all starts when we share our stuff, the nitty-gritty daily details about ourselves with others. Laura has led the way in her personal life with her popular blog and podcast, and now with lighthearted self-awareness, a sensitivity to the important things in life, and compelling storytelling, Laura gives you the tools to build and deepen the conversations happening in your life. Laura's stories about her childhood, her complicated shifts in faith and friendships, and her marriage to a Hollywood movie director will prompt you to identify the beautiful narrative and pivotal milestones of your own life. Each chapter offers intriguing and reflective questions that will reveal unique details and stories you've never thought to tell and will guide you into cultivating the authentic connection with others that only comes from sharing yourself. So let’s get started! Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First.