From scorching her hoo-hah with jalapeños to attempting Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease in torn sweats and tube socks to her frustrated desire to pour tequila on her cereal when her kids say, ‘I’m booooooooored!,’ Heather Davis serves up hilarious tales of family-life insanity that are never mean (except when skewering herself) and never leave the reader screaming, ‘I’m boooooooored!’ TMI Mom FTW!” — Linda Erin Keenan, author of SuburgatoryEver wished you could say what you were really thinking?TMI Mom Heather Davis does just that. With her trademark dry wit and knack for storytelling, TMI Mom goes where no mom has been (at least in the pages of a book), with stories about the crazy things that can happen — in the minivan, the bedroom, and out in the big, bad world

    

    After a non-life threatening accident as a child, he hasn't quite developed like other boys his age. A group of older classmates take advantage of George's nature and force him into a situation that leads him to discover some interesting things about himself.

    Along the way, readers join the author in discovering: • The scary side of fishing; • Why it’s wrong when board games become blood sports; • The unexpected connection between cooking classes and true romance; • How the author's cat convinced him to take up yoga (and why that was a terrible idea); • Golfing for the ball challenged; • The thrill of jumping out of an airplane without risking your life; • The eternal appeal of Elly May Clampett; and, • How to do nothing without feeling guilty about it.

    In 1943, he left school aged fourteen and joined Oldham Repertory Company where he earned fifteen bob for a seventy-hour week. After being called up for National Service in 1946 he became a paratrooper and spent several months in Palestine being shot at. On returning home, and to the theatre, Bernard was eventually approached by George Martin, then an A&R man for Parlophone Records, who suggested he made a record. Just months away from producing The Beatles, Martin asked Bernard to come to Abbey Road Studios in north London and, after teaching him how to sing into a microphone, they eventually recorded two hit singles - 'The Hole in the Ground' and 'Right Said Fred'. These, together with appearances in now classic films such as Two Way Stretch and The Wrong Arm of the Law (not to mention a certain television programme called Jackanory), catapulted Bernard to stardom and, by the time he started filming The Railway Children in 1970, he was already a national treasure.Since then, Bernard's CV has been an A-Z of the best entertainment that Britain has to offer, and, thanks to programmes such as the aforementioned Jackanory, The Wombles, and, more recently, Old Jack's Boat, he has become the voice of many millions of childhoods. Seventy-five years in the making and packed with entertaining anecdotes, Bernard Who? tells the wonderful story of one of the longest and most celebrated careers in show business.

    One spring night, while at home on a break from college, the threesome embarks on a night of adventure and experimentation, driving recklessly through the Connecticut Valley. Stopping at the French King Bridge, David -- full of hubris and hallucinogens -- dares to jump, mistakenly believing he'll be able to swim ashore. With this one act, he sets in motion an inexorable chain of events that indelibly alters the lives of everyone involved.Told through the alternating voices of Kay, Michael, and David's father, Kevin, The River Road is a closely observed and psychologically penetrating narrative of the accusations, murder investigation, and courtroom battle that follow.

    get a Christmas tree! It's a simple enough task for any normal person. When he takes his three best friends along for the ride, Geordie, Robbo and Flaky... then nothing is simple... and no-one is normal.This Christmas it's different at the Harding house. They've invited their best friends and children to enjoy the festivities at their home in the heart of the Yorkshire Dales-at least, Will's wife has. Will is not entirely confident he can survive a week in close proximity to his dysfunctional friends.His wife has been asking him for days to buy a Christmas tree, but he insists a tree should only be brought into the house on the day before Christmas.As Christmas Eve arrives, it's time for him to get a tree.He sets off with good intent, with his best pals to lend a helping hand. However, heavy snowfall, the lure of English country pubs, and a disgruntled Lord of the Manor throw a massive spanner in the works. Add to that, Geordie's propensity for stupidity, Robbo's fondness for wacky-baccy, and Flaky's insufferable lecturing-well... what could possibly go wrong?Five adorable, innocent little children await their tree. Will it be delivered? And do they even care? The kids have one thing on their mind - Santa! However, the Santa which appears in the garden later that night is not the one they were expecting.Can Will and his pals save Christmas from becoming another disaster, or will it turn into a bleak mid-winter?Download now and find out!A feelgood Christmas read that will fill your stockings with laughter!A Shooting Star Series Novella

    From the horrors of childhood to the vagaries of old age, from confused people to humiliated animals, we're all just trying - and often failing - to keep it together. How carefully should you answer when asked what you'd take to a desert island? What do you do if your parents are reading your diary? How useful is a Swiss Army Knife? And what's A Brief History of Time really about?Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Simon Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives, from the most minute of anxieties to one of life's biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was ...'Simon Rich is very much laugh-out-loud funny. He can conjure authentic, from-the-abdomen laughter on almost every page. He stacks surrealism on top of slick satire on top of pure childish silliness in such a brilliant and condensed way, there are sometimes three laugh-out-loud moments within the same paragraph ... He is exactly the right kind of writer for the internet: funny, high-concept, accessible, short, sharable, a James Thurber for the Twitter age' Matt Haig

    Abbott Emma Louise Fallon, aka Elf, has two wishes for Christmas. Having spent the last few months bragging about her latest boyfriend, who's turned out to be a womanizing cheat, one, she needs to escape her well-meaning family, and, two, she needs to avoid all men while she's in a man-hating mode.But stranded in a cold isolated cabin, when her girlfriend is forced to bail out on their vacation plans, Elf makes one more desperate wish: Can she please learn how to build a fire before she freezes to death?The solo rustic life is becoming all too much for her. She's convinced that a stray cat, who has decided to keep her company, has magical powers, that the local shop owners are secretly Mr. and Mrs. Claus, and nothing can stop her from laughing when the hot local Martian -come cop - come veterinarian - introduces himself as Rudi. Will Elf need to break her rule about staying away from men, and rely on this hunk for helping her start a fire? Or, worse, yet, will she be able to control the fire that Rudi's ignited in her?This story remained #1 for 6 consecutive weeks December 2016/January 2017 and was a #1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER as part of the Mistletoe Kisses & Christmas Wishes set.

    Now twenty-seven, he's released from his latest stretch and returns home vowing to go straight. But things aren't that easy: his girlfriend has ditched him, he has to live on his brother's sofa and he can't get a job to save his life. On top of this, DS Weasel of CID keeps pulling him in for every little thing that happens in town. Now his former criminal mates have a humdinger of a job they want him in on ? a massive out-of-town supermarket. All he has to do is put together a gang of seven or eight lads and he could have the biggest payout of his life. Or the biggest headache. Milo's Marauders is the first in a new series of crime capers from the author of The Burglar Diaries. Set in the same crap town as King's riotous debut and featuring some of the same dodgy characters, Milo's Marauders will have you laughing like a maniac and gagging for more.

    Some quotes and description below: "Wow! I just read this book today. Yes, I read the whole book in one day! It is a wonderful account of the joy of a large family. His writing is hilarious, heartwarming, and inspiring. So many of his stories brought back fond memories of life with our gang. I would highly recommend this book!" See additional endorsements below the description. Description: On their wedding day in November 1998, Gerry and Mary Robinson would never have thought they would have 10 children nine years old and younger before their 11th anniversary. Yet, that is exactly what happened. In what can only be called a miracle, their family grew in record time, and the fun that came along with it is a story for the ages. This is their story. It is a testament to how children bring joy to the family, and how God has a loving part in all of it. The stories are hilarious and the lessons life long. This is a great read for all couples, whether they be dating, engaged, or married. Quote from Dr. Theresa Farnan: The Joy of Children is a candid, funny, first person account of a family that lives the meaning of “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done” and never seem to want for their “daily bread.” Gerry and Mary Robinson and their beautiful family are living proof that God is never outdone in generosity. In addition to being a wonderful tribute to the joy of children, this book is filled with insights about the joy of marriage. The Robinsons' inspirational story illustrates that family life is not always easy but it can be consistently joyous when families commit themselves to complete, trustful surrender to Divine providence. About Dr. Theresa Farnan: Theresa is the Co-Author of the Book: Where Did I Come From? Where Am I Going? How Do I Get There? and Consultant to the USCCB committee on Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth. Quote from James M. Littleton, President and Co-founder of Forming Faithful Families: The Joy of Children, by Gerry Robinson is a beautiful, candid story of heroic parents who overcame the fear-driven popular mindset of the modern culture by faithfully trusting in God's loving Providence by taking perceived risks in being open to a large family which opened the floodgates of blessings and joy to be poured into their lives and their family. The Joy of Children is full of hilarious anecdotes that make it a fun read. It is an important book for these times, jarring our spirit to awaken to the realization that God and family are so much more important and lasting than the things of this world. I highly recommend the Joy of Children. About James M. Littleton: James Littleton is a hope-filled, inspirational national speaker and Evangelist, Co-Founder and Co-Director of Forming Faithful Families and One More Baby For Jesus, Co-Host, Co-writer and Producer of Forming Faithful Families Formational Video & Televisions Series

    Life has been cruel and now it lands another blow. Luckily, she has her best friend Karen by her side to help her through. Then a chance encounter on the French Riviera leads Trish to think that maybe la vie est belle after all.Karen has it all. Sophisticated and successful, she is head of a Maternity & Fertility Clinic in Dublin’s city centre. Now, a new man who ticks all the boxes looks like he might be ‘The One’.Olivia is the perfect daughter with a steady boyfriend and a steadier job. But she wants answers. Haunted by the fact that her life has been a matter of chance, she is on a mission to unearth the truth.But, for each of them, the truth has the potential to blow their lives apart.

    Her life should be complete. But she has a secret in her past, and a part of her cannot forget the baby girl she was forced to give up for adoption when she was seventeen.Meanwhile, Debbie Hargreaves has known ever since she was a little girl that she was adopted. Her parents are kind and loving and she has a happy home life, but there is a part of her that is desperate to find out about her birth mother. Debbie’s search will awaken powerful and long-buried emotions, and life for Debbie, Fiona and their friends and relatives will never be quite the same again…

    But who is the real Sarah Millican? For the first time, journalist Tina Campanella gives you the full story of the British Comedy Award winner's astonishing rise to fame. After he husband unexpectedly left her in 2004, Sarah Millican moved back in with her parents and found solace in a series of writing workshops. And it wasn't long before she made the move from writing to performing, drawing on the pain of her recent break-up. She had never even been inside a comedy club when she first stepped onto a stage, microphone in hand. But her emotionally revealing stand-up instantly won the hearts of her audience. Sarah's debut solo show at the famous Edinburgh Fringe Festival won her the 2008 if.comedy Best Newcomer Award causing a stir among the seasoned reviewers and judges. With appearances on 8 out of 10 Cats, QI, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and Mock The Week quickly cementing her status as a household name, the country watched, and laughed, as her star continued to rise. And she was rewarded with her own show, The Sarah Millican Television Programme, which combines telly inspired stand-up and unique interviews with her celeb heroes. It's been quite a journey for the giggly Geordie. In this revealing new book you'll find everything you need to know about how this once shy girl became one of the country's funniest women.

    And while it's not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy — even downright hilarious — to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You're in good company.