NOT A BOOK


NOT A BOOK - 2016
      It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.

You’ve Got To Laugh: Stories from a Life Lived to the Full


Alison Hammond
    . .' Alison Hammond loves to laugh. And the nation laughs with her. Her sunny personality and zest for life have brought joy to millions and made her one of the UK's best-loved television presenters. Known for her hilarious and unforgettable interviews with Hollywood A-listers, Alison is also responsible for countless classic moments of broadcasting gold - from getting stuck on a caravan door to delivering Christmas cash dressed as an elf. But who is Alison Hammond really, and how did she become the personality we know and love? Shaped by the influence of her incredible mum, Alison went from small roles on television shows as a youngster to that life-changing appearance on Big Brother, before landing her dream job on This Morning. And through it all, she found the joy in every day, the positives in any situation. You've Got to Laugh gives a never-before-seen insight into Alison's life: her loves, her losses - with a side order of gossip. As well as being a hugely entertaining and uplifting read, Alison's story will inspire you to grab life with both hands and make the most of every single moment. 'Interviewer extraordinaire, reigning queen of the huns, and an out-and-out national treasure' Bustle

The Deepest State: A Satirical Epic


Oliver Willis - 2018
    Donald Trump. Ivanka Trump. Hillary Clinton. Oprah. Barack Obama. Paul Ryan. Joe Biden. John Kerry. And a cast of thousands as the story behind the headlines you can't believe is exposed. Part political thriller, part soap opera, partially insane. The Deepest State was a viral hit - and this edition has the EXCLUSIVE, never before seen short story, "Enter the Bidenverse." Here's what they're saying about The Deepest State: "One of the greatest threads in Twitter history" – Richard Metzger "An amazing read" – A. Whitney Brown "Just keeps getting more amazing" – Jon Cryer "Amazing well written and riveting" – Merrill Markoe "This… is glorious" – Joy Reid "Epic, epic thread" – Jill Lawrence "A Twitter thread for the ages" – Marsha Warfield "Fucking brilliant" – Jeff Jarvis "Fantastic." – Steven Boyer "The most gorgeous thing I have read in a long time" – Penelope Patsuris "Good times" – Eliza Skinner "Comedy gold" – PJ Manney

Cautionary Tales


Stephen Tobolowsky - 2011
    He has played everyone from Ned Ryerson in "Groundhog Day" to Sandy Ryerson in "Glee." He has amused thousands with his true stories on "The Tobolowsky Files" at Slashfilm.com. Here he shares some homespun philosophy and more true stories that prove tales of sex, drugs, and rock and roll are often the most humiliating and almost always the most enjoyable.

Ask Me Again Tomorrow: A Life in Progress


Olympia Dukakis - 2003
    Now, for the first time, she speaks out–in her signature straight–talk style–about her own history and career. Olympia Dukakis, internationally known movie and theater star, and cousin of presidential candidate Michael Dukakis, was born into a Greek family in Lowell, Massachusetts. As a first generation Greek–American, Olympia "lived in the hyphen" and struggled to reconcile her American desires with her family's old–world traditions. ASK ME AGAIN TOMORROW tells the story of Olympia's struggle to find her place as an American, as a woman and as a star. It specifically explores the relationship between Olympia, whose main ambition was to live her life exactly as she wanted, and her mother, who spent a lifetime constrained by a tradition that delegated her to second class. Like Sidney Poitier's THIS LIFE and THE MEASURE OF A MAN, this is a book that is more than a celebrity memoir. ASK ME AGAIN TOMORROW will speak to many audiences: readers who also experienced America as an adopted country; readers interested in the art of acting; readers interested in autobiography, and particularly to female readers who have struggled with fitting their own aspirations in with the needs of family. It is a book that will endure.

Unreal Aliens


Karthik Laxman - 2016
    And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.

Son of Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Scott Twisp(Book 7)


C.D. Payne - 2012
    When he wasn’t burning down parts of Berkeley or springing girlfriends from homes for unwed mothers, he was dodging gendarmes in Paris. So what sort of parent would that most outrageous of teenagers make? In this new installment of the acclaimed Twisp saga, 40-something Nick faces the daily trials of dealing with his own teenage son. When a move to California threatens to disrupt young Scott Twisp’s life, he reacts in the true Twispian spirit. Follow this wannabe “wanton lothario” as he conspires to meet the challenges of girls, sex, work, parents, TV stardom, and more. Also returning to complicate matters are Sheeni, Trent, Apurva, Vijay, Jake, Veeva, Uma, and the rest of C.D. Payne’s huge and colorful cast. Enjoy all seven books in the monumental Twisp saga: over a half-million words of hilarious mayhem! Note: Each book in the Nick Twisp series is a self-contained novel that can be enjoyed on its own. Familiarity with the other titles is not required.

How To Be Dead Books 1 - 3


Dave Turner - 2017
    He’s in love with his work colleague Melanie and his only friend Gary is a conspiracy theory nut. His life is going nowhere until he has a Near Death Experience - though Death thinks of it as a Near Dave Experience. He discovers gifts he never knew he possessed and a world he never dreamed existed. A world where the Grim Reaper is a hard drinking, grumpy Billy Joel fan and the undead are bored, lonely and dangerous. This box set contains the first 3 stories in the How To Be Dead series: How To Be Dead Paper Cuts Old Haunts They tell the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit. “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.” “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.” “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.” “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”

Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault


Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

Crazy Loco Love


Victor Villaseñor - 2006
    When Victor Villasenor turned sixteen, his father's gift of a brand-new, turquoise pick-up truck was accompanied by another gift: words of wisdom that would guide him on his path to manhood. You are a man now, he said, and to be an hombre, a man must not only know right from wrong, he must also know who he is and who he isn't. In the weeks to come, however, Victor disregards his father's advice. Swayed by his friends' ridicule, he has his new truck painted white to cover the vibrant turquoise, once his favorite color. Soon, he realizes his mistake. I'd done exactly what my dad had told me not to. I'd listened to other people's opinions instead of listening to what I'd felt inside. So begins this poignant and moving account of Villasenor's coming of age. Growing up on his parents' ranch in North San Diego County, Victor Villasenor's teenage years were marked by a painful quest to find a place for himself in a world he didn't fit into. During his search, Victor wrangles with the usual questions of adolescence: Is it normal to think about sex all the time? Do good girls like sex? Is sex before marriage a sin? But Victor struggles with more than just his burgeoning sexual awareness. The son of a self-made, successful man, he is different from his peers because of his Mexican heritage, and the experiences both subtle and outright discrimination because of this. Raised in a tight-knit, Catholic family, he questions the tenets of his Catholic faith and the restrictions it places on his own developing spirituality. After high school, Victor's quest for whohe is and who he isn't takes him to Mexico, where he is shocked to learn that Mexicans--aside from his father--are successful. They are architects, professors, and artists. This incredible revelation allows him to appreciate his own potential and realize his dreams of making a difference in the world through writing. A powerful portrait of a young boy on the path to manhood in the shadow of his influential father, Crazy Loco Love adds a new chapter to the grand tradition of coming-of-age books. Destined to become a classic, this new installment in Villasenor's body of work confirms his place as a leading American writer. Crazy Loco Love will enthrall his many fans and surely win him new ones.

Divine Assistance


L.G. Estrella - 2017
    The gods were supposed to preside over Creation with unmatched wisdom and knowledge. Well, that was the idea. But what is Death – a god of terrible majesty and splendour – supposed to do when his daughter asks for a pony? Is he really supposed to just go out and get a mortal one? Like that’s going to work. It’ll keel over and die in a couple of decades. No, his daughter deserves something better, a pony truly worthy of her divine heritage, which means he’s going to have to get a little bit creative. And then there’s Bureaucracy. The Supreme Mother and Supreme Father might have given rise to Creation, but Bureaucracy is the one who has to keep everything running smoothly. But that’s easier said than done when there are hundreds of gods and countless mortals to consider – none of whom understand the importance of filing paperwork in triplicate. Luckily, not even gods can escape the awesome power of divine paperwork. And let’s not forget gods like Mayhem, Mischief, and Rabble. Their names speak for themselves. When the three of them take a holiday in the mortal world at the same time, trouble is right around the corner. Divine Assistance is a collection of fourteen short stories about the gods and their attempts to manage Creation. There are souls to claim, mortals to woo, and even the occasional city to smite. After all, what’s life without a little divine assistance?

Who Peed on My Yoga Mat?


Lela Davidson - 2012
    In other words, she’s got it all. Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? peels back the curtain on family life to show that happiness is really a matter of perspective. Between watching adorably annoying toddlers transform into text-obsessed teens, and facing inevitable moments of marital “for worse,” a girl’s got to carve out time for inner peace. As she did in Blacklisted from the PTA, Davidson shows us once again that laughing at yourself and your family is the surest path to tranquility–or at least the most fun.

Drinking with George: A Barstool Professional's Guide to Beer


George Wendt - 2009
    A homage to beer by Cheers actor and beer connoisseur George Wendt, better known as Norm Peterson.

The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances


Matthew Inman - 2014
    Mr. Inman's explanation is the best I've ever seen. And the funniest. Because he is clinically insane."-Mark Remy, editor at large, Runner's World, author of The Runner's Rule Book"He runs. He sweats. He heaves. He hates it. He loves it. He runs so hard his toenails fall off. He asks himself, why? Why do I do this? Here, gorgeously, bravely, hilariously, is Matt's deeply honest answer."-Robert Krulwich, NPR"Finally! A voice that sings with the Blerches of angels!"-Christopher McDougall, author of Born to RunThis is not just a book about running. It's a book about cupcakes. It's a book about suffering.It's a book about gluttony, vanity, bliss, electrical storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a book about all the terrible and wonderful reasons we wake up each day and propel our bodies through rain, shine, heaven, and hell.From #1 New York Times best-selling author, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, beautiful, poignant collection of comics and stories about running, eating, and one cartoonist's reasons for jogging across mountains until his toenails fall off.Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen material, including "A Lazy Cartoonist's Guide to Becoming a Runner" and "The Blerch's Guide to Dieting," this book also comes with Blerch race stickers.

Mommywood


Tori Spelling - 2009
    Tori Spelling might have grown up with everything a girl could wish for, but these days she's just another suburban working mom...whose toddler regularly recognizes her in the pages of Us Weekly. Welcome to Mommywood, where the stars are two feet tall and your neighbors know who you are before you move in. Like most parents, Tori wants her children to have the one thing she didn't have as a kid -- a normal family. On their hit Oxygen reality show, Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, the starlet and her husband Dean McDermott regularly wrestle dirty diapers, host the neighborhood block party, and tackle temper tantrums on the red carpet. But when the cameras aren't rolling, Tori's still having awkward run-ins with a former 90210 costar at a laser tag birthday party, scooping rogue poo out of the kiddie pool on a resort vacation, and racing to win back her pre-baby body before the media starts calling her fat. For all her suburban fantasies, Tori Spelling is no June Cleaver. With the same down-to-earth wit that made her entertaining memoir sTORI telling a #1 New York Times bestseller, Tori tells the hilarious and humbling stories of life as a mom in the limelight. From learning to be the kind of parent her own mother never was to revealing what it's like to raise a family while everyone is watching, Mommywood is an irresistible snapshot of celebrity parenthood that you won't get from the paparazzi.