And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    So much so that we have taught our brains not to pay much attention. After all, click the mouse, tap the screen, flick the channel and it's on to the next thing. But Dave Gorman thinks it's time to have a closer look, to find out how much nonsense we tacitly accept.Suspicious adverts, baffling newspaper headlines, fake twitter, endless cat videos, insane TV shows where the presenters ask the same questions over and over.Can we even hear ourselves think over the rising din? Or is there just too much information?

    Symptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of making a fuss;*Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake;*An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology.Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.

    ("I had recently read," Bryson writes, "that 3.7 million Americans believed that they had been abducted by aliens at one time or another, so it was clear that my people needed me.") But before departing, he set out on a grand farewell tour of the green and kindly island that had so long been his home.Veering from the ludicrous to the endearing and back again, Notes from a Small Island is a delightfully irreverent jaunt around the unparalleled floating nation that has produced zebra crossings, Shakespeare, Twiggie Winkie's Farm, and places with names like Farleigh Wallop and Titsey. The result is an uproarious social commentary that conveys the true glory of Britain, from the satiric pen of an unapologetic Anglophile.

    Based on his column in the acclaimed magazine "mental_floss," this collection of conversations is incredibly funny, but each interview is also based on serious research, so in addition to laughing, readers actually learn real history. "The Dead Guy Interviews" includes discussions with: Alexander the Great Beethoven Napol?on Bonaparte Buddha Julius Caesar Caligula George Washington Carver Catherine the Great Winston Churchill Cleopatra Confucius Crazy Horse Salvador Dal? Charles Darwin Emily Dickinson Albert Einstein Benjamin Franklin Sigmund Freud Genghis Khan Vincent van Gogh Henry VIII J. Edgar Hoover Harry Houdini Thomas Jefferson Joan of Arc Robert Johnson Frida Kahlo Leonardo da Vinci Abraham Lincoln Mao Tse-tung Karl Marx Michelangelo Montezuma Mozart Nostradamus Edgar Allan Poe William Shakespeare Sun Tzu Mae West Oscar Wilde

    It's about a bus trip really, because it's my view from the Number 12 bus (mostly top deck, the seat at the front on the right), a double-decker that plies its way from Dulwich, in South East London, where I was living, to where I sometimes work - at the BBC, in the heart of the capital. It's not a sensible way to write a memoir at all, probably, but it's the way things pop into your head as you travel, so it's my way'.From London facts including where to find the blue plaque for Una Marson, 'The first black woman programme maker at the BBC', to discovering the best Spanish coffee under Southwark's railway arches; from a brief history of lady gangsters at Elephant and Castle to memories of climbing Mount Sinai and, at the request of a fellow traveller, reading aloud the Ten Commandments; from the story behind Pissarro's painting of Dulwich Station to performing in Footlights with Emma Thompson; from painful memoires of being sent to Coventry while at a British boarding school to thinking about how Wombells Travelling Circus of 1864 haunts Peckham Rye;from anecdotes about meeting Prince Charles, Monica Lewinsky and Grayson Perry to Bake-Off antics; from stories of a real and lasting friendship with John McCarthy to the importance of family and the daunting navigation of the Zambezi River in her father's canoe, this Sandi Toksvig-style memoir is, as one would expect and hope, packed full of surprises. A funny and moving trip through memories, musings and the many delights on the Number 12 route, Between the Stops is also an inspiration to us all to get off our phones, look up and to talk to each other because as Sandi says: 'some of the greatest trips lie on our own doorstep'.

    A world created by two awkward guys who share their lives on the internet!We are Dan and Phil and we invite you on a journey inside our minds! From the stories of our actual births, to exploring Phil's teenage diary and all the reasons why Dan's a fail.Learn how to draw the perfect cat whiskers, get advice on what to do in an awkward situation and discover which of our dining chairs represents you emotionally. With everything from what we text each other, to the time we met One Direction and what really happened in Vegas...

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    

    Witty and unexpected, this collection of customer reviews is sure to show you a new, hilarious, and completely candid side of Amazon products and reviews you never knew existed.

    It's not about memorizing lists of dates or names, or remembering which general won what battle. Instead, BIZARRE HISTORY merrily digs up the scandals, the strangeness, and the scintillating details that illuminate personalities, events, and real life. Think of it not as a textbook, but as history’s juicy unauthorized biography--a historical document in which relevance never gets in the way of a good read. There are humorous quotes from famous figures such as Mark Twain and Napoleon ("History is a myth that men agree to believe"), as well as witty commentary about leaders of the past. After all, while you're probably familiar with William the Conquerer, have you heard of Charles the Simple, ruler of France and son of Louis the Stammerer? What about the emperor who entered Rome in a chariot drawn by 50 naked slaves—and invented the first whoopee cushion, too? But you can find lots of wildness closer to home: George Washington wrote love letters to a married woman; "Old Hickory" Andrew Jackson had been in at least seven duels before becoming president; and Benjamin Franklin fathered an illegitimate child. Paranoia also plagued a few of our presidents: the only thing Franklin Roosevelt had to fear was the number 13: he wouldn't invite 13 guests to a dinner party or travel on the 13th. And both Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan had encounters with UFOs! The fun facts span the globe, covering the crazy acts of Caligula in the Roman Empire; the "Dog Shogun" in 17th century Japan; the "Pork and Beans" war between the US and Canada; and even details about fashion, medicine, sports, and the real Dracula. It's a wild journey that no one could resist!

    Fancy a laugh at some smutty jokes? Then go and read Viz. But if you fancy a combination of the two, this is the book for you.In Off The Record, bitter and twisted leftie news reporter Jonathan Pie picks ten of the world's worst wankers and tears them apart. Here you'll find the answers to some difficult questions. Was Blair just a Tory in disguise? Did Cameron really have sexual relations with that pig? Just how the fuck did we end up with President Donald Trump?It's the ultimate guide to political arseholery. With extra swearing.

    Featuring authors and tomes of yesteryear and yesterday, from Tolkien's Middle- earth to Jeffrey Eugenides's Middlesex, you'll sections such as: You Don't Say?: Commonly-used words and phrases that were coined or popularized in classic words of fiction--sometimes with very different meanings. Gruesomely Ever After: The original endings of some of the world's most cherished fairy tales--"Snow White," "The Little Mermaid," "Cinderella," and more. Parental Guidance Suggested: Banned works of fiction and the controversy surrounding them. Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh My!): The real-life stories and inspirations behind beloved "leading creatures." Time to Make the Doughnuts: Odd jobs of famous authors. Tell Me a Story: Dahl's short stories, Seuss's political cartoons; the lesser-known, and sometimes shocking, adult writings of beloved children's authors. The Long Con: Shocking (and sometimes shockingly long-lived) literary hoaxes: Frey, JT Leroy, The Education of Little Tree, The Day After Roswell, etc. Science Fiction, Science Fact: If alien monoliths are ever found on the moon, the safer bet is that they would be translucent crystal; Sir Arthur C. Clarke is celebrated for making accurate predictions of various technologies, years ahead of their time. A look at which of his predictions held true and the same feats of other authors. Yes, But is it Art?: The weirdest books ever written: books without verbs, without punctuation...or without the letter "e". Make this and all of the Blackboard Books(tm) a permanent fixture on your shelf, and you'll have instant access to a breadth of knowledge. Whether you need homework help or want to win that trivia game, this series is the trusted source for fun facts.

    It was the start, for better or for worse, of a long relationship with this unassuming and much maligned little country. He decided to put worldwide opinion to the test: is Belgium really as boring as people say it is? Immersing himself in Belgian culture – and sampling the local beer and ‘cat poo’ coffee along the way – he discovers a country of contradictions; of Michelin stars and processed food, where Trappist monks make the best beer in the world and grown men partake in vertical archery and watch roosters sing (not necessarily at the same time). This colourful and eccentric jaunt is proof that Belgium isn’t just a load of waffle.

    Collected here from various sources (including the Guardian and GQ America) are the best of his adventures. Always intrigued by our ability to believe the unbelievable, Jon meets the man preparing to welcome the aliens to earth, the woman trying to build a fully-conscious robotic replica of the love of her life and the Deal or No Deal contestants with a fool proof system to beat the Banker. Jon realises that it’s possible for our madness to be a force for good when he meets America’s real-life superheroes or a force for evil when he meets the Reverend ‘Death’ George Exoo, who has dubiously assisted in more than a hundred mercy killings.He goes to a UFO convention in the Nevada desert with Robbie Williams, asks Insane Clown Posse (who are possibly America’s nastiest rappers) whether it’s true they’ve actually been evangelical Christians all along and rummages through the extensive archives of Stanley Kubrick. Frequently hilarious, sometimes disturbing, always entertaining, these compelling encounters with people on the edge of madness will have you wondering just what we’re capable of.