The Ultimate Bathroom Reader: Interesting Stories, Fun Facts and Just Crazy Weird Stuff to Keep You Entertained on the Crapper! (Perfect Gag Gift)


Bill O'Neill - 2021
    

The Lakeview Man (The Lakeview Man Series Book 1)


D.A. Roberts - 2020
    Trained to trust his instincts and to pay close attention to detail, his rational brain is at war with what he has seen. Something very strange is happening in rural Sloan County, Missouri. Nothing in his experience has prepared him for anything like this. More disappearances only make the mystery deepen as the Sheriff tries to cover up what's really going on. Clark enlists the aid of other deputies who, like himself, have seen things that don't make sense. Things that aren't real. Or are they?A creature from our primordial nightmares has found its hunting grounds in the rural Ozarks, along the shores of Table Rock Lake. The closer they get to finding the creature, the more pressure they get to stay out of the investigation. Pressure from the sheriff and mysterious F.B.I. Agents who know more than they will admit. Soon, Clark learns that the creature he's been hunting has been hunting him as well. The ultimate battle of man versus beast is about to take place in the Ozarks. Can Clark defeat a beast from out of our nightmares or will the creature claim yet another victim?Can anything stop The Lakeview Man?

Thirty-Two Going on Spinster


Becky Monson - 2012
    She has no social life, hates her job, and lives in her parent’s basement with her cat, Charlie.With the arrival of Jared Moody, the new hire at work, Julia’s mundane life is suddenly turned upside down. Her instant (and totally ridiculous) crush on the new guy causes Julia to finally make some long-overdue changes, in hopes to find a life that includes more than baking and hanging out with Charlie.But when the biggest and most unexpected change comes, will the new and improved Julia be able to overcome it? Or will she go back to her spinster ways?

Time Burrito


Aaron Frale - 2017
     Pete’s food truck at the University of New Mexico isn’t going well. Seniors dare freshman to eat his burritos. Frats use them for pledges and pranks. Rumors fly around campus that they are chupacabra ground up with rat. Pete needs a change, and it comes in the form of a physics experiment gone awry. After being sucked into the past, he stumbles across an ingredient that goes great in one of his creations. First, there was Marty McFly. Then there was Bill and Ted. And now Pete—

Carcharodon


Paul Carberry - 2020
    But even they could not have been prepared for the horrors that arose from beneath the decks of The Swift Current one dark evening. That night, the sea birthed a perfect predator: hundreds of years old and gargantuan in size, with hungry jaws that have never needed to evolve, and glassy eyes that disguise a fierce intelligence. Can Newfoundland and her people survive this horror from an age gone by?International Best-Selling horror icon Paul Carberry takes the terror offshore in this stunning, suspenseful new thriller!

S79: The Horror in the Swamp


Brett Schumacher - 2019
    He was traveling through Louisiana and a few missed turns, a few hours later, he finds himself facing a horrible fate. All Robert knows is that he is stuck in an abandoned military bunker in the wild swamps of Louisiana. There is something stalking his every move, a scary horror look unlike anything he has ever seen. S79 The creature in the Bunker, The Horror Novel of the Swamps. Will Robert survive the living nightmares and make it back home to his wife Julie and his daughter Lillie? Will he uncover a bigger horror mystery that the small town of Montegut had been hiding for years? ★★★★★ "S79 has a super fun plot. You’ve got swamps, abandoned military base, science experiment gone wrong, conspiracy theories, urban legends, pitch dark atmosphere, snakes, gators, rednecks, revenge, and a pretty epic creature." - Aimee M.

The Piranha Solution


John Triptych - 2017
    Private industry is now pushing the limits of human exploration and colonization. NASA has changed its mandate into a regulatory agency that oversees all US-based corporations and individuals involved in interplanetary expansion. Stilicho Jones always has his hands full while working as a personal troubleshooter for eccentric trillionaire Errol Flux and his numerous cutting edge space projects. When a mysterious and potentially deadly situation threatens the colonies on Mars, Stilicho must team up with a feisty NASA special agent in a race against time to avert a looming catastrophe that would end any hope of a permanent settlement on the Red Planet.

The Ghost of Hooker Alley (Shingles Book 1)


Robert Bevan - 2018
    Open at your own risk. Sarah and Tommy have the same kinds of problems as most any ten-year-old girl and six-year-old boy. Homework, bullies, Dad not going in to work since Mom ran off to fuck the postman. That sort of thing. But they're not going to take their problems lying down. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, they think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley. What they discover will make you soil your pants in terror. It will make your skin crawl. It might even give you... Shingles.

Voices in the Night (The Haunting of Blackburn Manor, #2)


Blake Croft - 2020
    The series is designed to be read in order, and you should read part 1 first (Strange Sanctuary). The complete series box set is also available —Blackburn Manor hides a terrifying and unnatural secret. Evil just got a new address…After months on the run from an abusive relationship, Linda Green is ready to slow down and start her life over again. Exhausted from ever-present fear and stress, she yearns for the peace that a fresh start can bring. A fresh start she hopes to find at Blackburn Manor.The lush green trees and serene nature surrounding the manor feel so calming to her frazzled soul that Linda is ready to take advantage of everything this peaceful oasis has to offer. No internet, no distractions. It’s perfect.Until she sees the faces in the window.Not one to believe much in the supernatural, Linda shrugs it off as just a feeling. But the longer she’s at the manor, the more the feeling of uneasiness grows. From the creepy old neighbor who watches her every move to the moving shadows and unexplained phone calls in the middle of the night, something is just not right.She can trust no one. Not even herself.As Linda begins to uncover the history of the place, she is sure that something strange is going on at Blackburn Manor. Something sinister that hides in the shadows, deep within walls cloaked with secrets.Something that will stop at nothing to keep those secrets hidden.The Haunting of Blackburn Manor is a chilling supernatural tale of what happens when a woman’s search for sanctuary turns into a desperate and terrifying attempt to save her own life. Evil truly has a new address...- Part One: Strange Sanctuary (released on March 4th);- Part Two: Voices in the Night (released on March 11th);- Part Three: Secrets in the Dark (released on March 18th);- Part Four: Legend and Lore (released on March 25th);- Part Five: A Call from the Beyond (released on April 1st);- Part Six: Ashes to Ashes (released on April 8th).Don’t miss the second installment of the Haunting of Blackburn Manor, a six-part series of suspense, supernatural horror and mystery.New to the series? Start with Strange Sanctuary, part One of The Haunting of Blackburn Manor.

BigBoobenstein


Jeff O'Brien - 2013
    If you agree, this is the book for you. If you disagree, it's still the book for you. But enter with caution. On your quest you will encounter anthropomorphic shit-drooling hernias, porn obsessed bridge trolls, chronic masturbators, fundamentalist Christians, voodoo pimps, politicians, hipsters, prostitutes, and also some so-called regular people. Much like the reader, Adelaide DeCarlo must endure the culmination of all these characters to decipher who the true monsters are, and to achieve her dream of self-acceptance.

Deepwoods Trilogy


Honor Raconteur - 2019
    Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.

The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked


David Benjamin - 2002
    Whether he’s stalking frogs through the bogs of Tomah, Wisconsin, playing four-kid baseball with his bothersome little brother and two favorite cousins, or sneaking into the theater to watch Saturday-afternoon Westerns, Benjamin is the kind of little kid who would have fallen in eagerly with the redoubtable Tom Sawyer.Traversing the nooks and crannies of kidhood, from ballfields to swimming holes, The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked captures a time and a place in twentieth-century American life and celebrates the adventures and wanderlust that once made childhood such an exhilarating enterprise.

Perfect on Paper: The (MIS)Adventures of Waverly Bryson


Maria Murnane - 2008
    What she doesn't have is a ring on her finger, and after being left at the altar, she's in no hurry. Besides, she has plenty of other issues to tackle, including her wayward father, a new rival at work, and an ever-shrinking amount of personal time. To keep sane, Waverly makes a habit of jotting down "Honey Notes," her own brand of self-deprecating wisdom and pipe-dream for a line of greeting cards. As Waverly stumbles back into the dating scene (no stalkers or jean shorts, please), her personal and professional lives threaten to collide. Perfect on Paper reminds readers that everyone has a bad date (or twelve), and that everyone needs a best friend to tell them, “Honey, you are not alone."

A Lady, A Kiss, A Christmas Wish


Collette Cameron - 2020
    Instead of claiming his place in society, he became a physician to help the less fortunate. So, when he sees a patient mistreating her sweet, bright-eyed companion, Brandon is determined to help bring some holiday cheer into the poor girl’s life. It’s the least he can do. But in truth, he’d like to do much more for the kind-hearted beauty who so easily captured his attention...and his heart. She guards a scandalous secret... Joy Winterborne can’t afford to take risks. If anyone found out about her past, she’d lose everything. And getting fired from her companion job would deprive her of the only bright spot in her otherwise dreary life—the time she gets to spend with the charming and oh-so-handsome Dr. Morrisette. Of course, nothing can ever come of her attraction to him. He’s nobility, and she’s nobody. But that doesn’t stop her silly heart from wanting...more.With a little luck, some mistletoe, and maybe even a Christmas wish, can Brandon convince Joy to take the greatest risk of all—falling in love?Sweet Regency Romance

Plaid to the Bone


Caroline Lee - 2021
    What’s a desperate and slightly mad laird to do? Why, take a page from his great-great-whatever-grandfather’s folio, and declare an ultimatum: Whichever daughter marries and has a son first, then her husband gets to be the next Laird Oliphant. There! Only a little bit sexist, and it should get the job done!Unfortunately, none of his daughters are interested. Take the youngest, for example... Leanna Oliphant’s goal is to lead as adventurous a life as possible, and it seems as if she’s going to get her wish, even without having to help things along (that fire was an accident, honest!). First, her father made that ridiculous proclamation, which she figures she can ignore, because the dear man is several eggs short of a dozen. Next, a handsome and mysterious man arrives at Oliphant Castle, claiming to be on a secret mission from the king (although he won’t say which king). Then Leanna, through some careful “negotiations,” convinces the delicious stranger to let her help in his mission, which leaves the two of them all alone in a dark and secret passageway.Then, a skeleton drops on them, completely ruining the mood.As one of His Majesty’s elite Hunters, Laird Kenneth McClure is on the trail of a missing royal messenger. The man’s secret mission had sent him toward Oliphant Castle, so that’s where Kenneth followed, looking for clues to the man’s disappearance. The brawny warrior doesn’t know who he can trust, particularly when one of the laird’s daughters offers to help in his mission. But bubbly Leanna is a ray of sunshine in his dark life, and too enticing to resist.When the pair of them discover the dead body mid-canoodle, Kenneth is fairly certain it’s not his missing quarry. Almost. Probably not. But…he’s beginning to realize things are not as they seem on Oliphant land, what with the mad laird, hypochondriac lady, more ghosts than he can count, six sisters, one wailing bagpiper, and who let this random donkey wander through the great hall?Does the delightful Leanna know more than she’s saying? Kenneth’s mission for the king may be the downfall of this crazy family, and he’s not certain it’s worth it.Warning: Contains silliness. And, like, a lot of anachronistic jokes. And plenty of really naughty bits. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you might want to skip this one.