How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving


David RichoDavid Richo - 2002
    Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:    1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.    2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.    3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.    4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.    5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN


Tara Brach - 2019
    Each step in the meditation practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) is brought to life by memorable stories shared by Tara and her students as they deal with feelings of overwhelm, loss, and self-aversion, with painful relationships, and past trauma--and as they discover step-by-step the sources of love, forgiveness, compassion, and deep wisdom alive within all of us.

It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand


Megan Devine - 2017
    Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

Addictive Thinking: Understanding Self-Deception


Abraham J. Twerski - 1990
    Excuses, self-deception and addictive logic can harm your recovery and relationships. Don't let it.In addiction, a person with a substance use disorder undergoes a negative change in thinking and behavioral patterns. A person’s character is overthrown by addictive thinking: displacement, projection, shame, and hypersensitivity are addiction’s survival mechanisms. With Addictive Thinking, both addicts and loved ones familiarize themselves with these addictive signatures and more, and begin the fight for recovery. With more than 200,000 copies of Addictive Thinking sold worldwide, the eminent Abraham Twerski, M.D., outlines the destructive and terrifying illogic that marries a person with a substance use disorder to his addiction. “Stinking thinking” and irrational thought are byproducts of addiction and they only worsen with time. Twerski, with a deep psychological understanding, steps in to explain and contextualize all of the actions that arise from addictive thinking. It might be easier to point at abnormal behavior from an addict and simply think, “there she goes again.” But there is reason and consistency underneath the pandemonium. If nothing is learned, if nothing is done, an addict’s rock bottom will continue to sink. By educating oneself about the addictive illogic and its reasoning, one will understand why the person behaves as she does and how everyone in her life becomes controlled by addiction. Then control can be taken back.

Sandtray Therapy: A Practical Manual


Linda E. Homeyer - 2010
    All aspects of this therapeutic technique are explored engagingly and in detail. The authors describe how to select appropriate types of sand, put together a sandtray, and develop a collection of miniatures for their clients to use. Their six-step protocol guides beginners through a typical session, including room set-up, creation of the client’s sandtray and the therapist’s role, processing the sandtray, cleanup, and post-session documentation. New chapters discuss group sandtray therapy, working with couples and families, sandtray therapy and psychic trauma, integrating cognitive and structural techniques, and a review of the relevant research. Numerous photos of sandtrays and miniatures are provided, and case studies illustrate how to carry out an effective session. Appendices offer sample forms and handouts, as well as a detailed bibliography to help readers make the most of this innovative and creative therapy practice.

Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship


Laurence Heller - 2012
    These five core capacities are associated with biologically based core needs that are essential to our physical and emotional well-being: the needs for connection, attunement, trust, autonomy, and love-sexuality. Recognizing these needs as well as five Adaptive Survival Styles set in motion when the core needs are not met early in life, authors Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre cut through the seeming complexity of life’s problems.   Explaining that an impaired capacity for connection to self and to others and the ensuing diminished aliveness are the hidden dimensions that underlie most psychological and many physiological problems, they introduce the NeuroAffective Relational Model® (NARM), a resource-oriented, psychodynamically informed approach that, while not ignoring a person’s past, emphasizes working in the present moment. NARM uses somatic mindfulness to re-regulate the nervous system and to resolve identity distortions—such as low self-esteem, shame, and chronic self-judgment—caused by developmental and relational trauma. Heller and LaPierre demonstrate how this therapy helps clients establish connection to the parts of self that are organized, coherent and functional, integrating the role of connection on all levels of experience as it affects a person's physiology, psychology, and capacity for relationship.From the Trade Paperback edition.

The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs


Stephen S. Ilardi - 2009
    Alongside this lifestyle, depression rates have skyrocketed: approximately 1 in 4 Americans will suffer from major depression at some point in their lives. Where have we gone wrong? Dr. Stephen Ilardi sheds light on our current predicament and reminds us: our bodies were never designed for the sleep-deprived, poorly nourished, frenzied pace of twenty-first century life. In fact, our genes have changed very little since the days of our hunter-gatherer ancestors and are still building, in effect, Stone Age bodies. Herein lies the key to breaking the cycle of depression.Inspired by the extraordinary resilience of aboriginal groups like the Kaluli of Papua New Guinea (who rarely suffer from depression), Dr. Ilardi prescribes an easy-to-follow, clinically proven program that harks back to what our bodies were originally made for-and need. Here you can find the road back to lasting health by integrating the following 6 elements into your life: an omega-3 rich diet; exercise; plenty of natural sunlight; ample sleep; social connections; and participation in meaningful tasks that leave little time for negative thoughts-all things that our ancestors had in abundance.Already, The Depression Cure program has delivered dramatic results, helping even those who have failed to respond to traditional medications. Interweaving the stories of many who have fought-and won-the battle against this debilitating illness, this groundbreaking book can illuminate the path to lifting the fog once and for all for you or a loved one.

1001 Solution-Focused Questions: Handbook for Solution-Focused Interviewing


Fredrike P. Bannink - 2010
    Categorized for general use and for use with specific types of clients—such as children, couples, and families, and those who have suffered trauma or who might benefit from medication—the questions demonstrate how the precise use of language is an important tool in solution-focused interviewing. Exercises and homework suggestions invite self-reflection and experimentation with the solution-focused model, while case studies illustrate the model’s effectiveness with a wide variety of clients. 1001 Solution-Focused Questions equips clinicians with a toolbox full of ready-to-use approaches, so they’re prepared to provide support as clients find their own way to a better future.

The Fifty-Minute Hour


Robert Mitchell Lindner - 1954
    . . . No student’s education in psychotherapy is complete without reading this book. Decades after its original publication, it still stands as a pioneering landmark in the history of psychotherapy.”-John Suler

Inside Therapy: Illuminating Writings About Therapists, Patients, and Psychotherapy


Ilana Rabinowitz - 2000
    A varied mix of essays, book chapters, case histories, and compelling fiction written by veterans of both sides of "the couch" and representing many schools of thought, Inside Therapy includes: Janet Malcolm's The Impossible Profession * Mark Epstein's Thoughts Without a Thinker * Eric Fromm's The Art of Listening * A. M. Homes's In a Country of Mothers * Theodore Reik's The Third Ear * and others. The foreword by Irvin D. Yalom, author of Love's Executioner, offers additional wisdom, humor, and perspective.At a time when managed care threatens the psychoanalytic tradition, this dramatic, inspiring collection reminds us of the healing power of insight and the unique gifts of the patient-therapist relationship.

How to Listen to Great Music: A Guide to Its History, Culture, and Heart


Robert Greenberg - 2011
    The right knowledge can deepen the ability of this music to edify, enlighten, and stir the soul. In How to Listen to Great Music, Professor Robert Greenberg, a composer and music historian, presents a comprehensive, accessible guide to how music has mirrored Western history, that will transform the experience of listening for novice and long-time listeners alike. You will learn how to listen for key elements in different genres of music - from madrigals to minuets and from sonatas to symphonies-along with the enthralling history of great music from ancient Greece to the 20th century. You'll get answers to such questions as Why was Beethoven so important? How did the Enlightenment change music? And what's so great about opera anyway? How to Listen to Great Music will let you finally hear what you've been missing.

The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life


Jean Baker Miller - 1997
    In so doing they offer a new understanding of human development that points a way to change in all of our institutions-work, community, school, and family-and is sure to transform lives.

Career Theory and Practice: Learning Through Case Studies


Jane L. Swanson - 1999
    Each chapter applies a different theory to case examples and - to provide continuity - to a fictitious client' constructed from many past clients of the authors.

Metacognitive Therapy for Anxiety and Depression


Adrian Wells - 2008
    MCT developer Adrian Wells shows that much psychological distress results from how a person responds to negative thoughts and beliefs—for example, by ruminating or worrying—rather than the content of those thoughts. He presents practical techniques and specific protocols for addressing metacognitive processes to effectively treat generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive–compulsive disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, and major depression. Special features include reproducible treatment plans and assessment and case formulation tools, plus a wealth of illustrative case material.

It's Not You, It's What Happened to You: Complex Trauma and Treatment


Christine A. Courtois - 2014
    Christine Courtois has simplified her extensive and, until now, quite scholarly work geared toward understanding and developing the concept of "complex trauma," and the assessment and treatment thereof. A universally acknowledged leader in this emerging psychotherapeutic field, Dr. Courtois provides here an abbreviated and easy-to-read explanation of what complex trauma is, how it develops, the ways in which it manifests, and how it can effectively be dealt with. The book opens with an explanation of trauma in general-providing historical perspective, examining the various types of traumatic experience, and looking in-depth at the chronic, repetitive, and layered forms of trauma that often build upon and reinforce one another to create complex trauma. Next Dr. Courtois discusses trauma-driven emotional turmoil, and trauma's effects on memory, self-image, relationships, and even physical wellbeing. She then provides readers with a basic understanding of the ways in which complex trauma is diagnosed and assessed, with an explanation of all common trauma-related diagnoses-including stress disorders (such as PTSD), dissociative reactions and disorders, and frequently co-occurring issues (addictions, self-injury, sleep disorders, etc.) In the book's final section, Dr. Courtois presents rudimentary information about the ways in which complex trauma and related issues can effectively be treated, including brief explanations of all psychotherapeutic methods that might be used. Importantly, she discusses in detail the sequenced, three-stage treatment model she has developed for work with addicted survivors of complex trauma, recognizing that complex trauma and addictions are often interrelated in powerful ways, and unless both issues are addressed simultaneously, the client may not heal from either. Though It's Not You, It's What Happened to You is written for people new to the concept of complex trauma and how it may be affecting them or a loved one, clinicians will also find the work useful, relying on it as a way to bolster their own knowledge and, perhaps more importantly, as a tool for informing their traumatized clients about the degree and nature of the psychotherapeutic work to come.