The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships


Diane Poole Heller - 2019
    From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a car accident, severe illness, loss of a loved one, or experience of abuse—that attachment style can deeply influence what happens next. In The Power of Attachment, Dr. Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution, shows how overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections— with the parts of ourselves within, with the physical world around us, and with others. The good news is that we can restore and reconnect at all levels, regardless of our past. Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you: • Restore the broken connections caused by trauma • Get embodied and grounded in your body • Integrate the parts of yourself that feel wounded and fragmented • Emerge from grief, fear, and powerlessness to regain strength, joy, and resiliency • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature "We are fundamentally designed to heal," teaches Dr. Heller. "Even if our childhood is less than ideal, our secure attachment system is biologically programmed in us, and our job is to simply find out what’s interfering with it—and learn what we can do to make those secure tendencies more dominant." With expertise drawn from Dr. Heller’s research, clinical work, and training programs, this book invites you to begin that journey back to wholeness.

The Intimacy Struggle: Revised and Expanded for All Adults


Janet Geringer Woititz - 1993
    It goes on for all of us as long as we live. To be intimate is to be close, to be vulnerable, qualities that are very different from the survival skills we learned. This book will help clarify the issues for you.You can learn to:Identify family myths to make you wonder whether having a healthy, intimate relationship is possible.Know the questions to ask to find out whether you and your partner have a long-term future together.Be aware of misunderstandings that can sabotage your relationship.Express your feelings and fears so as to avoid misunderstandings.Find our what to do when your relationship is not working.Create good relationships.Acquiring intimacy skills can be difficult, but through understanding and effort, they can be learned. This insightful book is a good place to begin.

Strengths Based Marriage: Build a Stronger Relationship by Understanding Each Other's Gifts


Jimmy Evans - 2016
    With Strengths Based Marriage, MarriageToday cofounder Jimmy Evans and Gallup-trained strengths advocate Allan Kelsey give readers the tools they need to dismantle that hurdle and develop a deeper and richer relationship. Applying the revelatory concepts from the popular Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment to marriage (assessment itself not included in purchase price), Evans and Kelsey break new ground in helping readers understand themselves and others. With chapters on “Stopping the Cycles of Pain,” “Speaking Love to Your Spouse’s Heart,” and “Secrets of Successful Marriages,” the book details practical ways to apply these profound insights to your marriage every day.And, as a bonus, with your purchase of the book you’ll receive access to more than two hours of exclusive video content revealing how to reach your marriage’s full potential. In the exclusive bonus video sessions,Kelsey gives an overview of all thirty-four strengths in the Clifton StrengthsFinder® assessment;Evans shares inspiration for ending the cycle of hurt and beginning to heal as a couple; andthe authors discuss how to overcome the heartache of a destructive marriage.Utterly practical and deeply insightful Strengths Based Marriage will forever change the way you see yourself, your spouse, and your marriage.

Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner


Jeb Kinnison - 2014
     If you were brought up in the Western world, you’ve been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We’ll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. If you’re young and just starting to look for a partner, good news—the world is swarming with well-adjusted, charming matches for you, if you know how to recognize them. The bad news: you are inexperienced and you may not recognize the right type of person when you date them. Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you’ve identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don’t make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger. If you’re older, bad news: while you were spending time and effort on relationships you were hoping would turn out better, or even happily nestled in a good relationship or two, most of the secure, reliable, sane people in your age group got paired off. They’re married or happily enfamilied, and most of the people your age in the dating pool are tragically unable to form a good long-term relationship. You should always ask yourself, “why is this one still available?”—there may be a good answer (recently widowed or left a long-term relationship), or it may be that this person has just been extraordinarily unlucky in having over twenty short relationships in twenty years (to cite one case!) But it’s far more likely you have met someone with a problematic attachment style. As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%[1]; and since it can take months of dating to understand why Mr. or Ms. SeemsNice is really the future ex-partner from Hell, being able to recognize the difficult types will help you recognize them faster and move on to the next. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too.

The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse


Debbie Mirza - 2017
    When most people think of a narcissist they think of someone who is grandiose, obviously self-absorbed, sees themself as superior to others, and throws fits of rage when they don’t get their way. But what if the narcissist is one of the nicest people you’ve ever met? What if they are a great listener, seem to care about others, and are a pillar of the community? What if they are the mother that volunteers at the school, the husband that your girlfriends wish they had, the boss that your co-workers feel so lucky to work for? A covert narcissist has the same traits as the well-known overt type. The difference is when they control and manipulate, when they demean and devalue you it is done is such a subtle way you don’t notice it. Many people can have a parent who is a covert narcissist and not realize it until well into their adulthood. Most people who are married to this type can be with this person for decades, not even recognizing the tactics that have been used on them for years. Others have experienced a boss or co-worker that have taken years of their life and drained them of their energy and self-worth, bringing them to a place where they question their own sanity. There are no visible scars with this form of abuse and you are usually the only one that experiences their destructive and psychologically debilitating behavior. The most common description a survivor of this type of abuse will use is crazy making. If you have experienced or are in a relationship with a covert narcissist this book will help you see that you are not crazy. The author thoroughly explains and illustrates through real life stories what the traits of a covert narcissist are and look like. Your feelings and hunches will be validated and you will finally be able to see clearly and know how to heal after years of confusion. Living with a covert narcissist drains your spirit and leaves you questioning your own reality. You have been lied to for years and it is time to finally see the truth of what you have been through, who you really are, and how much you deserve love and happiness.

The First 90 Days of Marriage: Building the Foundations of a Lifetime


Eric Ludy - 2006
    But Eric and Leslie Ludy, bestselling authors of When God Writes Your Love Story, show couples in this practical, inspirational book how to transform the whirlwind of the first days of marriage into a sure foundation that will support them for a lifetime.The Ludys teach men and women readers how to use those crucial first 90 days to develop all the necessary habits for a happy, satisfying marriage-habits of kindness, forgiveness, fun, warmth, reconciliation, and patience.Filled with down-to-earth advice and questions for reflection, The First 90 Days of Marriage is destined to become a classic for newlyweds and engaged couples. And even if your marriage is well past those first 90 days, it's never to late to put these principles to work. You'll love the results.

Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss


Hope Edelman - 1994
    First published a decade ago, it is still the book that motherless daughters of all ages look to for understanding and comfort and that they press into each other's hands. Building on interviews with hundreds of mother-loss survivors, this life-affirming book is now newly expanded to reflect the author's personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss; now married and a mother of young children herself, Edelman better understands how the effects of mother loss change over time and in light of new relationships. A work of stunning courage and honesty, Motherless Daughters is a must read for the millions of women whose mothers have gone, but whose need for healing, mourning, and mothering remains. It is a timeless classic.

Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage


Jenny Block - 2008
    She operates from the assumption that most couples who are curious about or engaged in open marriages are in fact more like hernormal people who question whether monogamy is right for them; good people who love their spouses but want variation; capable parents who are not deviant just because they choose to be honest about their desires. In Open, Block paints a down to earth picture of how an open marriage can work, and specifically why it works for her and her husband. In dissecting other people s strong reactions to her choice, she explores the question of why cheating is more socially acceptable than open marriage. In part, she concludes, the lack of models for successful functional open marriages is such that the general public is not yet equipped to handle treating it as anything other than abnormal. Open challenges our notions of what traditional marriage looks like, and presents one woman s journey down an uncertain path that ultimately proves that open marriage is a viable option, and one that s in fact better for some couples than conventional marriage."

101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples


Laura Corn - 1995
    TWICE A WEEK — EVERY WEEK — FOR ONE FULL YEAR!YES, I KNOW that’s a lot to ask from one little book! But I promise you it works. Here’s how —Once a week, you and your lover each pick a sealed page and tear it from the book. There’s no turning back now — and no peeking at each other’s seduction! Just follow your secret instructions, and sometime during the week you’ll each be getting an erotic surprise. Talk about anticipation — you’ll both be on the edge of your seats! You’ll discover romantic new ways to “heat up the passion,” new bedroom tricks and variations on the old ones — and irresistible ways to introduce them to your lover.50 SECRET SEDUCTIONS WRITTEN for his eyes only... begin with seductively intriguing ways to not only get her in the mood — but to get her breathless with anticipation. You’ll give your lover the ultimate pleasure with Tricks of the Tongue…King of Hearts…and She's Out of Control. She’ll act out her most erotic uninhibited fantasies in Dangerous When Wet, and she will never, ever forget your incredible foreplay when you finally get her Up Against The Wall! Whatever seduction you surprise her with, you’ll have her climbing the walls in exquisite expectation!50 SECRET SEDUCTIONS WRITTEN for her eyes only… begins by divulging Marilyn Monroe’s sensual bedroom secret that drove her lovers wild (and caused JFK’s toes to curl!) in “I Think I Made His Back Feel Better” — and it just heats up from there! You’ll learn the steamy technique guaranteed to drive men crazy and bring both your libidos to a boil with The Velvet Tongue…your Lingerie Parfait and Puss n’ Boots will make him fall in love with you all over again… and you’ll have him on his knees begging for more after you take The Laura Corn Challenge!PLUS ONE VERY SPECIAL SEDUCTION shared by both of you. For experienced lovers only — save this one for last!SO GO AHEAD, TEAR THIS BOOK UP... PLEASE!

31 Days to Great Sex


Sheila Wray Gregoire - 2012
    Then we spend a few days on building emotional intimacy (your friendship), a few days on building physical intimacy (the fireworks, making sex feel wonderful!), a few days on spiritual intimacy (the oneness), and a few days putting habits in place so that you can keep the momentum going once you're done.Sex is so important in a marriage, and yet often we lose hope. It becomes blah. We wonder if we can ever recapture that spark--or if we can ever light that spark in the first place.This series takes you step by step in the process of building a fun and intimate sex life. It doesn't only focus on the mechanics of sex--though there certainly are posts that will help you in that department. It also focuses on building friendship, experiencing real intimacy, and learning to have fun again, just the way God intended.Any two bodies can work together sexually. When we have problems in the bedroom, it's often not because of our bodies. It's usually because we aren't communicating well, or we feel distant from each other, or we're just nervous. The big benefit of this 31 days is that you'll actually TALK and communicate about this important part of your life. Talking about it is difficult to do, but the prompts and the posts make it much easier. That's often when breakthroughs happen!Who will benefit from this book? Newlyweds who want to start off well! Couples for whom life has become blah and too routine Couples who have almost given up hope that sex can become great Couples in conflict because one spouse wants sex more frequently than the otherIn other words--just about every married couple. It doesn't matter where you are in your marriage, the 31 Days to Great Sex will help you talk about sex more, think about intimacy more, and feel much closer together.How does it work?Each day has a topic, like "Embracing the Skin She's In", "Hitting the Reset Button on your Sex Life", or "How Do You Decide Your Sexual Boundaries?" There's a short write-up you read together, and then there's a challenge for you to do, often containing some conversation prompts. And yes--there's plenty in there about how to make sex feel great, too.We're meant to have an abundant marriage--so don't settle for mediocre. Make this the most fun project you'll ever do together as a couple.

5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great


Terri L. Orbuch - 2009
    If you’re feeling your good marriage is starting to show a little wear, zero in on those imperfections, right? WRONG! Focus on what’s going well! Enhance the good aspects of your marriage and build on the solid foundation you already have. Dr. Orbuch debunks many common marriage myths and you’ll find out who needs more compliments—men or women. Who falls in love faster—women or men? With engaging quizzes and checklists; easy-to-use tips; and new takeaways on compatibility, fighting fair, and relationship ruts, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great will give you perfect ways to say “I love you” and show you how to reignite the passion in your relationship. You’ll find out why it’s okay to go to bed mad and why you don’t want to engage in kitchen sinking! The advice in this smart, entertaining book will help you put the excitement back in your marriage in no time, and you’ll be amazed at how easy it will be. 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great is based on the findings of a groundbreaking study directed by Dr. Orbuch, and funded by the National Institutes of Health. The study—of the same 373 married couples—began in 1986 and continues today. Dr. Orbuch is a professor, a renowned therapist, and a nationally recognized relationship expert known as The Love Doctor®.

The Power of the Pussy - How To Get What You Want From Men: Love, Respect, Commitment and More!


Kara King - 2012
    In this book you'll learn valuable lessons that will teach you how to... ~Flip the switch in your female brain, so you can beat men at their own game... ~Have men lining up to date you and desperate for your attention... ~Heal from a broken heart and never be sad over a man again! ~Become the type of woman that commands respect from men... ~Get the proposal, the ring, and the man of your dreams! Get what you want from men and have the time of your life while doing it! This book has empowered women and dramatically changed their lives by changing the way they think about men and dating, and it can change your life too! DISCLAIMER: This book contains strong language, sexual content and subject matter that may be offensive to some readers.

Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood


Lisa Damour - 2016
    Untangled explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct—and absolutely normal—developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including Parting with Childhood, Contending with Adult Authority, Entering the Romantic World, and Caring for Herself. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including • My thirteen-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her, and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond? • Do I tell my teen daughter that I’m checking her phone? • My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her? • Where’s the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder? • My teenage daughter wants to know why I’m against pot when it’s legal in some states. What should I say? • My daughter’s friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl’s mother to let her know? Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman.Praise for Untangled“Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.”—The Washington Post “Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.”—The Boston Globe “Damour offers a hopeful, helpful new way for parents to talk about—and with—teenage girls. . . . Parents will want this book on their shelves, next to established classics of the genre.”—Publishers Weekly“For years people have been asking me for the ‘girl equivalent of Raising Cain,’ and I haven't known exactly what to recommend. Now I do.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of Raising Cain “An essential guide to understanding and supporting girls throughout their development. It’s obvious that Dr. Damour ‘gets’ girls and understands the best way for any adult to help them navigate the common yet difficult challenges so many girls face.”—Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabes “A gem. From the moment I read the last page I’ve been recommending it to my clients (including those with sons!) and colleagues, and using it as a refreshing guide in my own work with teenagers and their parents.”—Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful


Janis Abrahms Spring - 1996
    The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow. This book helps readers survive this crisis.

Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work


Matthew McKay - 1994
    Couple Skills, Second Edition, revised and updated from the therapist-recommended classic, will show you how to work smarter in your relationship. You'll learn to improve communication, cope better with problems, and resolve conflicts with the one you love in healthy and creative ways. Each chapter teaches you an essential skill that supports greater relationship satisfaction and deeper intimacy.New to this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). These new approaches will help you to accept your partner's feelings (and your own emotions) without judgment. Using these techniques will help you decide what you really value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that further those values every day.