She clears your path of all those merciless judgments pronounced by the Quilting Queens. She invites you to make quilts that are full of life. This funny book offers these nine principles for the 20 million quilters in America:           1. Pretty fabric is not acceptable. Go right back to the quilt shop and exchange it for something you feel sorry for.           2. Realize that patterns and templates are only someone's opinion and should be loosely translated. Personally, I've never thought much of a person who could only make a triangle with three sides.           3. When choosing a color plan for your quilt, keep in mind that the colors will fade after a hundred years or so. This being the case, you will need to start with really bright colors.           4. You should plan on cutting off about half your triangle or star points. Any more than that is showing off.           5. If you are doing applique, remember that bigger is dorkier. Flowers should be huge. Animals should possess really big eyes.           6. Throw away your seam ripper and repeat after me: "Oops. Oh, no one will notice."           7. Plan on running out of border fabric when you are three-quarters of the way finished. Complete the remaining border with something else you have a lot of, preferably in an unrelated color family.           8. You should be able to quilt equally well in all directions. I had to really work on this one. It was difficult to make my forward stitching look as bad as my backward stitching, but closing my eyes helped.           9. When you have put your last stitch in the binding, you are still only half finished. Your quilt must now undergo a thorough conditioning. Give it to someone you love dearly—to drag around the house, wrap up in, spill something on, and wash and dry until it is properly lumpy.           "No reason not to have quiltmaking be a pleasure", says Lisa Boyer, who has as firm a grip on her sense of humor as she does on her quilting needles. "If we didn't make Dorky Homemade quilts, all the quilts in the world would end up in the Beautiful Quilt Museum, untouched and intact. Quilts would just be something to look at. We would forget that quilts are lovable, touchable, shreddable, squeezable, chewable, and huggable -- made to wrap up in when the world seems to be falling down around us."

    Featuring more than 250 classic and contemporary stitch patterns, this updated guide includes instructions for knitters of all levels. From the basic knit and purl stitch to the seed stitch to a fanciful ladder pattern, each of the featured stitches is detailed with a color photograph and handy how-to instructions. Both new and classic yarn varieties are covered, and insider tips designed to facilitate personalization are featured throughout. For projects ranging from the simple to the ornate, this extensive catalog is brimming with stitch inspiration.

    Each single-sided page includes such agression-relieving words as 'Shitballs', 'Twat Waffle' and 'Asshat' laid over therapeutic, mandala and nature inspired patterns. The #1 Gag Gift for Friends with a Sense of Humor! Introducing the world's first swear word coloring book printed on black paper. You've never experienced anything like this before. This bestselling adult coloring book features 40 classic swear words. Using this beautiful midnight edition will make your designs vibrant with color. Never again worry about coloring inside the lines... let the black paper take care of it! Unwind and relax with this beautiful coloring book... let your steam loose! What's Inside - 40 Classic Swear Words to Color (see list below) - Beautiful Abstract Designs with Intricate Details - Each Swear Word Is Printed on Black Paper - Includes Free PDF Bonus Inside! Sometimes, you just need to SWEAR at someone... List of Words - Bullshit - Fuck - Piss Off - Asshole - Bitch - Slut - Whore - Cunt - Bastard - Douche - Shit - Damn - Shitballs - Sugartits - Twat Waffle - Baggy Vag - Piss Flaps - Bollocks - Crap - Fuckwit - Fucktard - Dipshit - Shit-a-brick - Wanker - Beaver Dam - Cum Guzzler - Cuntcake - Asshat - Gutter Slut - Skank - Prick - Slutbag - Moron - Fuck Off - Idiot - Twunt - Dickhead - Cockbag - Fucknugget - Cunt Muffin Join the foulmouthed masses and unwind with Release Your Anger. Color designs featuring both classic swear words like -Bullshit- and more creative ones like -Cum Guzzler-. Each page is designed with beautiful patterns, swirls, paisleys, mandalas, flowers, and leaves... color away while letting the steam out. Simply sit back, relax, and choose the swear word that connects with you. Then color in the swear word with your choice of color pencil, pen, marker, and/or crayon. Enjoy mindfulness and relaxation with this brilliant anti-stress therapy, also the perfect gag-gift! This beautiful coloring book features: - 40 Classic and Angry Swear Words to Color - Beautiful Designs with Intricate Details - Designs Printed on Black Paper - 40 Single-Sided Pages at 8.5 x 11- - Includes Digital PDF Bonus Inside the Book Order now and get started. Your inner peace is waiting, and it has some choice words for you. Preview the book at swearybook.com/midnight TAGS: black coloring book, midnight coloring book, black adult coloring book, midnight adult coloring book, sweary coloring book, swear word coloring book, swear words adult coloring book, bullshit book, bullshit coloring book, james alexander, memos to shitty people, calm the fuck down, chill the fuck out, sasha o'hara, james alexander, donald trump

    From a cute chick and a stripy snake to colourful mice and a patchwork tortoise, this title presents 25 knitting patterns for adorable toys for newborns to teens.

    Visit Krakow's stunning Main Market Square, Warsaw's historical Royal Way, or Gdansk's Main Town Hall, featuring Golden Age decorations. You'll get firsthand advice on the best sights, eating, sleeping, and nightlife, and the maps and self-guided tours will ensure you make the most of your experience. More than just reviews and directions, a Rick Steves Snapshot guide is a tour guide in your pocket.

    Chock full of easy to understand instructions and full color pictures for the 24 recipes included, you are sure to succeed with this book, regardless of your skill level. With a few simple ingredients, and a little bit of time, you’ll be making bath bombs in an afternoon. You’re in good hands with this quick and easy guide to showing you not only the basics, but also more fun and challenging recipes like the Fizzy Pops, designed to look like tasty cake pop treats. Taking it a step further she has also included cupcake bath bombs with a sugar scrub topping. Who wouldn't love to make these? This book can be a project for yourself, a gift for a friend, or an enhancement to your knowledge in the world of bath and body crafts. Whatever the purpose, the reader will enjoy!

    Loomers of every skill level will find something new and exciting to make.

    she inspires a love of sewing itself. A contemporary classic, Power Sewing is clearly written with detailed photos; it guides the reader through every facet of garment construction with ease.

    There is absolutely nothing as great, challenging, or rewarding as raising a child." So says Über-mom Rose Rock, who has raised 10 children in addition to caring for 17 foster children in her 40-plus years as a mother.As a mother who does not shy away from the hard conversations, Rose isn't afraid to present strong ideas about boundaries, discipline, choices, and consequences—and she tells it like it is. In Mama Rock's Rules, Rose shares the funny and highly practical lessons she learned both as a parent and an educator, while offering strategies for teaching a child to be self-reliant in this world.Written with a kicky blend of maternal spirituality and a "don't mess with me or you won't get old" sense of authority, the book spotlights 10 vital rules, each tackling a specific parenting issue. From "I Am Your Mama, Not Your Friend," which helps parents regain their authority and establish respectful relationships with their children, to "Don't Lie Down with Anything You Don't Want to Live with Forever," which takes a different approach to the often tricky conversation about sex, each topic is lovingly explained and bolstered by stories from Rose Rock's own childhood and parenting experiences. We will also hear from her own kids, as they share memories and anecdotes about what it was like to grow up in the Rock household.Rose's heartfelt and no-nonsense advice—delivered with a dose of wit and homespun humor—will resonate with thousands of parents and will inspire them to teach their kids right, whether their brood is one child or ten.

    So what are you waiting for?

    These touches--letter-pressed table cards with a pet bulldog cameo; a chandelier to which the bride and groom tied hundreds of colorful ribbons; a photograph of the bride's grandparents fastened around her bouquet--elevate a beautiful day into a deeply personal, unforgettable celebration.Style Me Pretty has become a go-to destination for planning your own ecstatic wedding. Now, the founder of this beloved site, Abby Larson, offers this gorgeous resource, which includes:   • Abby’s step-by step guide to determining your couple style, gathering inspiration, and threading it through each element of the celebration   • 17 never-before-seen Real-Life Weddings—with details on all their special and handcrafted touches, and advice from the brides    • 5 Style Blueprints to help you custom-craft your own Classic, Rustic, Whimsical, Modern, or Al Fresco wedding, from paper goods to the cake    • 15 Do It Yourself projects, such as glittered vases, linen favor bags, and dip-dyed ombré napkins Full of lively and oh-so-lovely ideas, and more than 250 photographs, this swoonworthy volume will help you distill the wide world of wedding inspiration into the most meaningful, utterly original day you can imagine.

    This is for the mothers out there that want to run the home and raise the children in a stress-free and affordable way. This is for the wife that would like to be the hostess with the mostess, but not toil and fret all day and has no talents in making radishes into roses. This is for the real housewive's that are a little funky, want to be frugal, want the adorable home, maybe a little farm in their Urban backyard, purposely don't match their sheets, like fun accent walls in each room, want to homeschool their children, need to do a major household budget, and downsize, but won't compromise on a good life. This is for the families that want to cut the grocery bill big time and still have their organics and non-GMO popcorn. This is also for the families happy to ditch the car and walk to save money and the environment but won't give up their entertaining and gatherings. This book is loaded with great advice and tips on everything from a household budget, making your own cleaners, going a little country in the city, throwing parties with a few dollars, and having a good life on very little.

    

    The improbable hockey career of Jonsey started in 1992, when he was with the Washington Capitals. After a brief stint in Colorado, Keith was traded to Philadelphia, where is hard work, dirty play and colorful personality made him one of the more popular players in recent history. Jonsey is the story of Keith s career in the league as well as all of the interesting stories he accumulated over the course of his career, playing with some of the leagues best players in the last 15 years, including Peter Forsberg, Joe Sakic, Mark Recchi and Eric Lindros. The book will include a forward written by Hall of Fame defense-man Ray Bourque.

    With a refreshingly new approach to free-motion stitching, First Steps to Free-Motion Quilting encourages you to make something beautiful while improving your free-motion quilting skills. You'll find 24 projects and quilts that are light on assembly so you can spend most of your time stitching. A handy troubleshooting guide ensures success every step of the way.