Unlikely Friendships : 47 Remarkable Stories from the Animal Kingdom


Jennifer S. Holland - 2011
    Unlikely Friendships tells one story after another of animals who, with nothing else in common, bond in the most unexpected ways and thrive on the warmth, closeness, and trust that come with being true friends.Imagine a predator cuddling its prey. Or a bird befriending a mammal. Or a fish poking its nose out of the water to nuzzle a dog. Or a massive gorilla - the one named Koko, famous for her ability to communicate in sign language - embracing a tiny kitten.Science writer Jennifer S. Holland narrates each story, and also offers insights into these relationships. Sometimes there are plausible scientific explanations: an orphan seeking comfort from an older animal; an adult yearning for a younger creature to nurture. Consider the lioness who befriended and protected a baby oryx - unexpected, but not inexplicable. Sometimes a friendship is about need, as in the case of the blind Lab and her "seeing-eye" cat. B ut sometimes it's just a lovely mystery. How else can one explain the story of Owen the hippo and Mzee the tortoise, two notoriously surly creatures who became bosom buddies?Each story reveals the true power of friendship and, to some degree, the many forms of "love" that seem to exist in the animal kingdom. Yes, scientists might scoff at that notion, but readers may feel a little differently about the world after they finish this book.

Cats on the Job: 50 Fabulous Felines Who Purr, Mouse, and Even Sing for Their Supper


Lisa Rogak - 2015
    Some are mousers, like Princess, a black cat who works at Mill Ridge Farm's stables. Some are circus performers, like Tuna and her furry friends in The Amazing Acro-Cats. And some are even politicians, like Mayor Stubbs, an orange tabby who holds office in Talkeetna, Alaska.In Cats on the Job, we meet these and other whiskered workers who keep their human colleagues company from 9 to 5—with the occasional break for a nap or a belly rub—and make every day at the office better.

Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters


Mallory Ortberg - 2014
    Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

Confucius Cat Says...


Patricia Mason - 2012
    Translated from the original Catspeak, Confucius Cat says, is a hilarious and profound collection of the advice and observations of the wise and wonderful feline philosopher.

A Street Cat Named Bob: How One Man and His Cat Found Hope on the Streets


James Bowen - 2012
    The moving, uplifting true story of an unlikely friendship between a man on the streets and the ginger cat who adopts him and helps him heal his life.

The Fuck It List: All The Things You Can Skip Before You Die


Peter Conners - 2015
    The F*ck It List is a hilarious middle-finger salute to all those absurd life goals that will ensure an anxiety-filled middle age will be followed by shame-filled golden years. It pokes a sorely needed pin into a bloated rite of passage that's ripe for deflation. Do you really need to firewalk or didn't Oprah and Tony Robbins take care of that for us? Swimming with sharks is a really dumb idea, so let's leave that with the gullible reality tv desperadoes, shall we? Kevin Pryslak has come up with a "to don't list" that will have you laughing out loud and leave you with lots more time to do the all the things YOU really want to do!

How to Land on Your Feet: Life Lessons from My Cat


Jamie Shelman - 2019
    . . when you could spend nine lives napping? Take it from artist Jamie Shelman's wry and furry felines: Cats work reasonable hours (zero), love wisely (from a distance), and live boldly (until someone starts vacuuming). Don't go without these 100 sage lessons:Be especially attentive to the one person who doesn’t like you.Get away with murder by looking cute.Ignore anyone who doesn't worship you.Be pleased with your achievements, however small.The best solution to a problem is a nap.Live better—live like your cat!

Blackboard Blunders: Spelling Slip-ups and Homework Howlers


Richard Benson - 2009
    From the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated, this hilarious collection of quotes is sure to tickle the funny bone.

Cat Out of Hell


Lynne Truss - 2014
    Overcome by grief, he searches for clues about her disappearance in a file of interviews between a man called "Wiggy" and a cat, Roger. Who speaks to him.            It takes a while for Alec to realize he’s not gone mad from grief, that the cat is actually speaking to Wiggy . . . and that much of what we fear about cats is true. They do think they’re smarter than humans, for one thing. And, well, it seems they are! What’s more, they do have nine lives. Or at least this one does – Roger’s older than Methuselah, and his unblinking stare comes from the fact that he’s seen it all. And he’s got a tale to tell, a tale of shocking local history and dark forces that may link not only the death of Alec’s wife, but also several other local deaths. But will the cat help Alec, or is he one of the dark forces?In the deft and comedic hands of mega-bestseller Lynne Truss, the story is as entertaining as it is addictive” (The Sunday Telegraph) – an increasingly suspenseful and often hysterically funny adventure that will please cat lovers and haters alike. And afterwards, as one critic noted, “You may never look at a cat in quite the same way again” (The Daily Mail).

Moranthology


Caitlin Moran - 2012
    These other subjects include...Caffeine | Ghostbusters | Being Poor | Twitter | Caravans | Obama | Wales | Paul McCartney | The Welfare State | Sherlock | David Cameron Looking Like Ham | Amy Winehouse | ‘The Big Society’ | Big Hair | Nutter-letters | Michael Jackson's funeral | Failed Nicknames | Wolverhampton | Squirrels’ Testicles | Sexy Tax | Binge-drinking | Chivalry | Rihanna’s Cardigan | Party Bags | Hot People| Transsexuals | The Gay Moon Landings

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell


Tucker Max - 2006
    I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. —from the IntroductionActual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you." Now with 16 Pages of Photos and a New Introduction

The American Association of Patriots Presents: How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety


Zachary Auburn - 2016
    Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

Ace Jones: Mad Fat Adventures in Therapy


Stephanie McAfee - 2013
    What’s worse is that every time she leaves the house, she winds up in some kind of altercation. She can’t help but wonder if she’s an idiot magnet, or if she’s the smart-mouth stirring things up. Hoping for a little peace of mind, Ace gives in to the advice of her best friend and goes to see a therapist. But she quickly discovers that the road to nirvana isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. And as Ace goes from one therapeutic misadventure to another, the plus-sized spitfire becomes more determined than ever to find enlightenment—even if it means bending herself into a pretzel to do it.

100 Cats Who Changed Civilization: History's Most Influential Felines


Sam Stall - 2007
    12), the cat who single-handedly wiped out an entire species. Or Ahmedabad (p. 61), a Siamese kitten who sparked riots throughout Pakistan. Or Snowball (p. 14), the cat who helped to convict dozens of murderers and criminals. Or Felix (p. 155), the first cat to explore outer space.These are just four of the 100 Cats Who Changed Civilization, and this book honors their extra-ordinary contributions to science, history, art, government, religion, and more. You'll meet a cat who filed a lawsuit (p. 66) and a cat who was slapped with a restraining order (p. 75). You'll meet cats who have inspired great works of literature (p. 90) and classical music (p. 102). You'll even meet a cat who telephoned the police to save the life of his owner (p. 162). These beautifully illustrated true stories are a tribute to the intelligence, bravery, and loving nature of cats all over the world.

Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine: America's Funniest Jokes, Stories, and Cartoons


Reader's Digest Association - 2011
    Packed with more than 1,000 jokes, anecdotes, cartoons, quotes, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction