Chronicling his abusive childhood, his near-fatal addiction to Life, his excruciating time in rehab, and the ultimate triumph of his true nature, this long-awaited autobiography finally reveals the inner story of one of the most troubling, and troubled, figures in history. For the first time, Death reveals his affairs with the living, his maltreatment at the hands of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the ungodly truth behind the infamous “Jesus Incident,” and the loneliness of being the End of All Things. Intense, unpredictable, and instantly engaging, Death: A Life is not only a story of triumph against all odds, but also a tender, moving tale of unconditional love in a universe that, despite its profound flaws, gave Death the fiery determination to carve out a successful existence on his own terms. DEATH was born in Hell, the only son of Satan and Sin. He was educated in the Palace of Pandemonium and the Garden of Eden. Since before the Dawn of Time, he has ushered souls into the darkness of eternity. This is his first book.

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to resolve wars or end famines, but to Google himself and read what humans have been blogging about him. When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant), he also decides to destroy Earth. His employees take the news in stride, except for Craig and Eliza, two underpaid angels in the lowly Department of Miracles. Unlike their boss, Craig and Eliza love their jobs -- uncapping city fire hydrants on hot days, revealing lost keys in snow banks -- and they refuse to accept that earth is going under. The angels manage to strike a deal with their boss. He'll call off his Armageddon, if they can solve their toughest miracle yet: getting the two most socially awkward humans on the planet to fall in love. With doomsday fast approaching, and the humans ignoring every chance for happiness thrown their way, Craig and Eliza must move heaven and earth to rescue them -- and the rest of us, too.

    After all, what’s he going to be able to do about it? He’s just this guy, stuck in a small town, pinned there by a load of student debt and a stalled writing career. Oh, and a wicked case of writer’s block.Or at least he was, until a dragon showed up in his bedroom. At midnight. Quoting Freud and muttering about the space-time continuum.So of course, Ian must Make a Choice and decide whether he wants to follow the dragon back into the Connectome and find his muse again, or stay in a house that surely wants to kill him, one repair bill at a time.Follow Ian on a rollicking adventure, where he finds out that he can make a difference. And that some things are worth fighting for.Even if all you have is a can opener.

    Oh my!When it comes to magic powers, I hit the oddball lottery. All I have to do is step into people’s shoes and—poof—I instantly learn all the most private things about them, those things they most desperately want to hide from the world.Naturally, when a woman turns up dead wearing an actress’s very famous—and very cursed—glass slippers, everyone looks to me for answers.I just want to sell soap and candles with my sisters in our family’s shop, but turns out nobody is willing to let me off the hook that easily. And that hook includes going undercover at a swanky ball with the deceased spoiled prince of a son.Will donning my party dress and stepping into these cursed shoes lead me down the right path, or will I wind up tumbling headfirst into my grave?

    The stories recounts the life of times of the hero Domrudhar in colonial India. The protagonist Domrudhar is portrayed as a dishonest man who rises from a lowly shop-assistant to a land owner.

    When her father weds her to a young Norman lord, Eustace de Breteuil, she thinks she has done well in life for the daughter of a Saxon concubine. But Eustace wants a castle he cannot have. He starts hostilities with its castellan, Ralph Harenc, egged on by the dubious Amaury de Montfort. To keep the peace, King Henry orders a hostage exchange between Eustace and Ralph. Juliane's pretty young daughters for Ralph's son. In a drunken rage, fuelled on by Amaury, Eustace breaks the truce and blinds Harenc's boy. Furious, the King allows Ralph to take his own brutal vengeance upon Henry's own granddaughters. Crazed with grief, Juliane plots revenge for the maiming of her children. The Wheel of Fate spins. The King must die, his own daughter judge, jury, executioner...

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    It should be read between book 4, Begin Where We Are, and book 5, Entangled With You.If Magnus and Kaitlyn’s life together is a tapestry, then this, dear reader would be an unraveling thread.This happened. Except no one in the world knows or remembers.The fifth part of their story can be told without this thread. We could snip it off and drop it to the floor, except…We ought to know of it to carry on. We can remember. Because this strand, that once weaved their life is gone now — replaced by another, stronger, more exquisite weaving — but it existed. And it changed their whole story. Book 1 — Kaitlyn and the HighlanderBook 2 — Time and Space Between UsBook 3 — A Warrior of My OwnBook 4 — Begin Where We AreShort story 4.5 — A Missing EntanglementBook 5 — Entangled With YouBook 6 — Magnus and a Love Beyond WordsBook 7 — to be determined…

    The call is so powerful that no one can resist. The only way to stop the calling is to trek up the treacherous Drakken Peak to confront your destiny.Dima Marren is a simple peasant from the small village of Pithe in the Darkken Empire. Her life was never meant to amount to anything, until she hears the Call of the Dragons. Honor and wealth await, if she can survive what’s to come.If chosen, riders must attend the Legion Academy and take part in the deadly Dragon Games--a brutal competition designed to cull the weak.On her quest, Dima meets Arlen, a gorgeous, but infuriating Noble Rider who reveals the truth about the academy and games. Despite hating one another, they will need each other to survive what's to come.If she can trust him, the truth will change everything.

     Joe was just an average guy with an office job, a synthesizer band, and crush on a girl in the marketing department, until a horrible misunderstanding on a date with friends turned him into a real-life vampire. It didn’t take long for him to find out the afterlife isn’t nearly as glamorous as he’s been led to believe; it ruined his already-struggling love life, damaged things with his best friend, and pushed him away from his crazy family. So he’s letting the whole world know what it’s really like to be a card-carrying member of the undead, fighting his ridiculous situation every step of the way. But not everyone is happy to find out the truth, and for every ally he finds in the vampire world, there’s an enemy lurking in the real one, just waiting for a chance to show Joe a little vampire truth of their own... What readers are saying: "The vampire's humanity that Anne Rice strives for in The Vampire Chronicles? [Luna] captures it perfectly and smartly in his modern tale of the supernatural everyman." "I absolutely loved this book. It was full of witty sarcasm, humor, heartbreak and suspense." "Joe Vampire is a laugh out loud hysterical, sometimes poignant, read. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a funny, sarcastic look at the undead life." "I laughed out loud several times reading this book and giggled so many times my husband made me leave the room to go read elsewhere!"

    Always ready with an impeccable phrase or a sly wink, he shares tales of the most darkly ironic sort, including a field report from a human abattoir, a chronicle of dating Death, and, of course, the tale of the goat that ate its own legs. The thirty-one bizarre, insightful, and morbidly hilarious tales in My Goat Ate Its Own Legs: Tales for Adults will delight anyone who doesn't take life (or death) too seriously.

    Life is like that now that I’m a grim reaper. My holidays gets an extra helping of festive weirdness when the Casanova of mall Santas kicks the bucket. Instead of crossing over, he sets out to spread his own special brand of Christmas magic to a number of single ladies in town. I’ll admit, as a widow I’m hesitant to stop him from gifting his Christmas miracle, but as a reaper, it’s my job to pack his yule log and jingle bells off to the netherworld. After all, everybody knows Santa is only supposed to come once a year.

    She’s too busy for that thanks to a more than hectic work schedule with a crazy Hollywood tyrant for a boss.But there’s something about her new personal trainer, Mick, that Karen just can’t get out of her head. She can sense his intense, animal heat, and feels like she has an unusual, strong connection with him right away. But does he feel the same? And what happens when Karen's movie star crush asks her out on a date? Watch how Karen and Mick’s story unfolds. The heat level is off the charts as all the hot sex, passionate romance, and drama ensues! Tiger Pawed is a BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance. This is a standalone novella and the first story in the Shifter Heat series. These paranormal romances can be read in any order. Gonna make you sweat - this novella includes steamy scenes, spicy language, and sizzling hot content. If you like the sound of that, then this book is for you!

    Looking for Something New and Really Funny? Imagine you can get it with JUST ONE CLICK! Yes, this is a JOKE BOOK of your dreams. Vol.1 of the Donald's Humor Factory series. This super funny adult joke book is free of swear words. Donald Shaw is a popular comic and an award-winning humor books author (his wife gave him a French kiss award)! His jokes are loved by thousands of people from Alaska to Zimbabwe, and possibly outside of Earth. Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people’s faces. Jokes make us laugh. People fall in love when they smile at each other. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many people also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find real good jokes today. Some of them are simply out-of-date. Some of them are not clean enough. You may also find many joke books that are not really funny and contain too much fluff and advertising. This jokes book is different! Buying this humor book you will get: A great collection of 300 FUNNY JOKES One-liners, real-life awkward situations, and hilarious short stories Great book to read on a long trip Clean and dirty jokes WITHOUT nasty words Jokes for adults and teenagers Jokes about relationship, marriage, bar, professions, hobbies, etc. LIMITED TIME BONUS: the link to download my FREE HUMOR LIBRARY that includes hundreds of great jokes for kids, adults, and teenagers. So the whole family may have fun! This is no-brainer, really! This book is free of racism. I support LGBT community, because love is love. I love all people in the world and I want to make you laugh and smile! This is my ultimate goal and I did not mean to insult anyone. So relax, take it easy and enjoy this humor book! Buy this funny book NOW and roll on the floor laughing! Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!