The Art of Being


Erich Fromm - 1989
    Some of these chapters are contained in the present volume. They deal entirely with the "steps toward being" that the individual can take in order to learn the Art of Being. How can we realize and actualize Love, Reason, and meaningful, productive work? Fromm here offers the Art of Being, a way of living based on authentic self-awareness that comes only through honest self-analysis. Wisely, he warns of the pitfalls of our attaining enlightenment without effort, or believing that life can be lived without pain. The tantalizing "spiritual smorgasbord" offered by our consumer-oriented world, Fromm maintains, only feeds our illusions of "easy awareness." Confronting the psycho-Gurus who preach these shortcuts to enlightenment, Fromm offers another way to self-awareness and well-being, one based on psychoanalysis and self-awareness through meditation. If the Art of Being - the art of functioning as a whole person - can be considered the supreme goal of life, a breakthrough occurs when we move from narcissistic selfishness and egotism - from having - to psychological and spiritual happiness - being. The Art of Being will be one of the most important works in the Fromm canon for years to come.

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions


Christopher K. Germer - 2009
    Christopher Germer has learned a paradoxical lesson: We all want to avoid pain, but letting it in--and responding compassionately to our own imperfections, without judgment or self-blame--are essential steps on the path to healing. This wise and eloquent book illuminates the power of self-compassion and offers creative, scientifically grounded strategies for putting it into action. You’ll master practical techniques for living more fully in the present moment -- especially when hard-to-bear emotions arise -- and for being kind to yourself when you need it the most. Free audio downloads of the meditation exercises are available at the author's website: www.mindfulselfcompassion.org. Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit

From Fixation to Freedom: The Enneagram of Liberation


Eli Jaxon-Bear - 2001
    Ramana Maharshi Everyone wants to be happy. This is a universal component of the human condition and may seem so self-evident that it does not bear noting. So why is it that so few people are truly happy? If it is true that our nature is happiness and bliss, why has it been so rare for people to realize this? Why has it been so rare for people to live their lives in gratitude and love? There is a living intelligence in all people that seeks ultimately to discover its true identity and source. It is a fortunate and mysterious moment when the desire for happiness leads to the investigation into personal identity, also known as self-inquiry. In the light of direct self-inquiry, limitations that once seemed to define oneself are discovered to be more like transparent lines drawn on water. They exist only on the surface of consciousness in one s imagination. When these illusions of mind are clearly exposed, true limitless being reveals itself. The Enneagram has appeared in our time as an illusory medicine to cure an imaginary disease. The disease is the egoic idea of separation from God, from one s true source. The cure is to look in the wisdom mirror of the Enneagram to see past all false identification to the truth of being. Eli Jaxon-Bear presents a radically new model of the ego and the psyche. Bringing together his background in Buddhism with the Sufi work on essence, he presents a fresh approach to awakening by using the Enneagram s nine fixated structures of ego to clearly describe who you are not. You will see how habits of egoic identification continuously appear to veil the pure, pristine consciousness that you truly are. When these habits of mind are exposed, there is a clear choice to end the bondage of ego-based suffering and to realize the vast, inherent freedom of one s true nature. In this book, Eli gives us the map of the prison of mind and the keys to freedom.

It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand


Megan Devine - 2017
    Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love


Amir Levine - 2010
    F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other


Osho - 2001
    But at the same time, there arises an undercurrent of feeling that something is missing-a quality of intimacy.This quality has very little to do with the physical, though sex is certainly one possible door. Far more important is a willingness to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerabilities, with the trust that the other person will treat them with care. Ultimately, the willingness to take the risk of intimacy has to be grounded in an inner strength that knows that even if the other remains closed, even if that trust is betrayed, we will not suffer any permanent damage.In this gentle and compassionate guide, Osho takes his readers step-by-step through what makes people afraid of intimacy, how to encounter those fears and go beyond them, and what they can do to nourish themselves and their relationships to support more openness and trust.OSHO challenges readers to examine and break free of the conditioned belief systems and prejudices that limit their capacity to life in all its richness. He has been described by the Sunday Times of London as one of the "1000 Makers of the 20th Century" and by Sunday Mid-Day (India) as one of the ten people-along with Gandhi, Nehru, and Buddha-who have changed the destiny of India. More than a decade after his death in 1990, the influence of his teachings continues to expand, reaching seekers of all ages in virtually every country of the world.

The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles


Bruce H. Lipton - 2005
    Author Dr. Bruce Lipton is a former medical school professor and research scientist. His experiments, and that of other leading-edge scientists, have examined in great detail the processes by which cells receive information. The implications of this research radically change our understanding of life. It shows that genes and DNA do not control our biology; that instead DNA is controlled by signals from outside the cell, including the energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts. Dr. Lipton's profoundly hopeful synthesis of the latest and best research in cell biology and quantum physics is being hailed as a major breakthrough showing that our bodies can be changed as we retrain our thinking.

Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself


Aziz Gazipura - 2017
     In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you. You'll discover how to: => Easily say "no" when you want to and need to. => Confidently and effectively ask for what you want. => Speak up more freely in all your relationships. => Eliminate feelings of guilt, anxiety, and worry about what others will think.

The INTP Quest: INTPs' Search for Their Core Self, Purpose, & Philosophy


A.J. Drenth - 2016
    While their status as nuanced and critical thinkers rarely goes unrecognized, their seeking side is often overlooked. This is largely due to the fact they do most of their seeking inwardly, that is, by way of thinking. Recognizing life’s brevity, INTPs strive to craft a life that is important, meaningful, and authentically reflects who they are. In so doing, they feel compelled to clarify their understanding of three key things: their core self, their purpose, and their philosophy / worldview. Only by clarifying these foundational matters can INTPs be sure they have done everything possible to optimize their lives. Unfortunately, the INTP quest is rarely simple or straightforward, and it often extends far longer than they anticipate. Plagued by doubt and uncertainty, some INTPs may worry that they may never find what they are looking for and that all their explorations will have been for naught. However, those who persist in their quest have good reason for hope. While their destination may not look quite as shiny or glorious as they originally imagined, it is nonetheless worth the wait, capable of furnishing them with an enduring sense of meaning and satisfaction. This book explores the deep existential concerns that INTPs strive to understand and resolve through their quest. It aims to further their understanding of their core self, purpose, and philosophy, as well as to illumine their path to integration and the successful enactment of their purpose. Part I explores each of INTPs’ four personality functions (i.e., Ti, Ne, Si, and Fe), as well as their implications for the INTP quest. If INTPs can learn more about their personality and the various tools in their cognitive toolbox, they can better understand who they are and the sorts of things they might do with those tools. Part II considers what INTPs are seeking in a purpose. Chapter 5 explores two key elements of purpose, importance and energy, while Chapter 6 examines the critical role of ideas and concepts in INTPs’ quest for purpose. Chapter 7 looks at INTPs’ struggle to balance the introverted (I) and extraverted (E) factors in their purpose equation, such as their attempt to reconcile their need to authentically follow their own (often esoteric) interests (I) with their desire for recognition and a respectable income (E). Part III takes a closer look at INTPs’ philosophical propensities, including the types of concepts, philosophers, and philosophies they may be drawn to. It includes discussions of religion, theism vs. atheism vs. pantheism, mind and matter, free will and determinism, history, existentialism, and more. The purpose of these discussions is to explore how INTPs think, and the types of ideas and thinkers to which they gravitate. By clarifying who they are as thinkers, INTPs will find it easier to envision their optimal place in the world. Part IV explores issues that will be of particular interest to INTPs who are further along in their quest. Chapter 14 examines INTPs’ concerns regarding shortages of novelty and meaning as they approach the end of their seeker’s quest. Chapter 15 discusses the sense of deflation that can accompany the loss of ideals over time, including the challenges associated with the discovery of one’s purpose. Chapter 16 seeks a remedy for the problems introduced in Chapter 15. Namely, it explores how INTPs can effectively navigate what I call the “post-idealist” phase of life through the adoption of a certain type of mindset. Not only can this mindset assuage INTPs’ foremost existential concerns, but it can also help them effectively enact their purpose and experience integration.

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving


Pete Walker - 2013
    I also wrote it from the viewpoint of someone who has discovered many silver linings in the long, windy, bumpy road of recovering from Cptsd. I felt encouraged to write this book because of thousands of e-mail responses to the articles on my website that repeatedly expressed gratitude for the helpfulness of my work. An often echoed comment sounded like this: At last someone gets it. I can see now that I am not bad, defective or crazy…or alone! The causes of Cptsd range from severe neglect to monstrous abuse. Many survivors grow up in houses that are not homes – in families that are as loveless as orphanages and sometimes as dangerous. If you felt unwanted, unliked, rejected, hated and/or despised for a lengthy portion of your childhood, trauma may be deeply engrained in your mind, soul and body. This book is a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life. It is copiously illustrated with examples of my own and my clients’ journeys of recovering. This book is also for those who do not have Cptsd but want to understand and help a loved one who does. This book also contains an overview of the tasks of recovering and a great many practical tools and techniques for recovering from childhood trauma. It extensively elaborates on all the recovery concepts explained on my website, and many more. However, unlike the articles on my website, it is oriented toward the layperson. As such, much of the psychological jargon and dense concentration of concepts in the website articles has been replaced with expanded and easier to follow explanations. Moreover, many principles that were only sketched out in the articles are explained in much greater detail. A great deal of new material is also explored. Key concepts of the book include managing emotional flashbacks, understanding the four different types of trauma survivors, differentiating the outer critic from the inner critic, healing the abandonment depression that come from emotional abandonment and self-abandonment, self-reparenting and reparenting by committee, and deconstructing the hierarchy of self-injuring responses that childhood trauma forces survivors to adopt. The book also functions as a map to help you understand the somewhat linear progression of recovery, to help you identify what you have already accomplished, and to help you figure out what is best to work on and prioritize now. This in turn also serves to help you identify the signs of your recovery and to develop reasonable expectations about the rate of your recovery. I hope this map will guide you to heal in a way that helps you to become an unflinching source of kindness and self-compassion for yourself, and that out of that journey you will find at least one other human being who will reciprocally love you well enough in that way.

When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress


Gabor Maté - 2003
    With great compassion and erudition, Gabor Maté demystifies medical science and, as he did in Scattered Minds, invites us all to be our own health advocates.

How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety


Ellen Hendriksen - 2018
    You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.If you get nervous in social situations--meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss--you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done--especially if you're prone to social anxiety.Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has. With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and--at long last--exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

Lagom: Not Too Little, Not Too Much, Just Right: The Swedish Guide to Creating Balance in Your Life


Niki Brantmark - 2017
    At its core is the idea that we can strike a healthy balance with the world around us without having to make extreme changes, and without denying ourselves anything.This delightful book, written by Niki Brantmark, founder and curator of the award winning interior design blog, My Scandinavian Home, gives a taste of the philosophy behind Lagom and shows how to include some of the principles into our daily lives. Inspirational and fun ideas to help you achieve balance, well being and a more sustainable existence.The book is divided into three sections. Introducing Lagom to your personal life includes ideas for decluttering your home, conscious buying and embracing ‘slow design’. At work take time to balance your day with a proper lunchbreak and a gadget free Sabbath, while outdoor staycations in remote settings can offer relaxation you never knew possible!Lagom at home and with our families explains the art of simple pleasures – bring a dish entertaining at home, of shared craft activities with our children and less stressed homework time! And finally there’s Lagom in the wider world and the principles of living sustainably – as IKEA have pledged in their Live Lagom campaign -make some small changes like using LED lightbulbs, taking shorter showers and upcycling and you are living a Lagom life,a rewarding but responsible life; not denying yourself or sacrificing what you love, while not taking from the planet more than you need. It’s just the right amount!

Lightly: How to Live a Simple, Serene, and Stress-free Life


Francine Jay - 2019
    Each day we add more possessions, more commitments, more worries, more stress to our lives. Striving for fulfillment, our closets become overstuffed, our calendars overscheduled, and our spirits overwhelmed. Instead of feeling happy, we just feel heavy.Lightly offers help. Whether you want to strip down your life to a backpack or free up some space in your closet, overhaul your schedule or gain back an hour in the evening, Lightly helps you identify what you treasure, while letting what’s unnecessary fall away. You will learn to lighten:  Your Stuff: advice on how to declutter what’s weighing you downYour Spirit: release the worries and emotional baggage that can be just as burdensome as possessionsYour Stress: reclaim your time and strive not to get more done, but to have less to doYour Step: reduce your consumption and make the planet as beautiful and clutter-free as your homeWithout a strict regimen, Lightly puts the power back in your hands to take control of your life.

59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot


Richard Wiseman - 2009
    From mood to memory, persuasion to procrastination, and resilience to relationships, Wiseman outlines the research supporting this new science of rapid change, and describes how these quick and quirky techniques can be incorporated into everyday life. Think a little, change a lot."Discover why even thinking about going to the gym can help you keep in shape ""Learn how pot plants make you more creative ""Find out why putting a pencil between your teeth instantly makes you happier "" "'At last, a self-help guide that is based on proper research. Perfect for busy, curious, smart people' Simon Singh, author of Fermat's Last Theorem'A triumph of scientifically proven advice over misleading myths of self-help. Challenging, uplifting and long overdue' Derren Brown