Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

    For this new edition Pam has written a general introduction, as well as individual introductions to the poems, many of which are now illustrated with specially commissioned line drawings by Susan Hellard. This is the first time The Works has been available in hardback and is certain to delight Pam's fans of all ages. Pam is one of Britain's best-loved personalities and has been a regular on television and radio for more than 30 years—most recently on Just a Minute, The Comedy Quiz, Countdown, and her own series, Ayres on the Air.

    Not so for Doreen and her husband Charles, who decide to take on a baby donkey to keep the nettles under control in the orchard. When Annabel clip-clops into their lives they realize that, from the ear-splitting nocturnal howling to the numerous escape attempts, living with a donkey won't be plain sailing. Annabel eats everything apart from the nettles, but eventually becomes a much-loved family member and particularly close to Solomon, the Siamese cat, who sleeps in her bed. Further dramas ensue when Henry, the jennet, is introduced as a companion to Annabel and love blossoms.

    Constable Wood was a disaster waiting to happen. He was the sort of cop who was happier helping little old ladies across the street (even when they were quite content where they were) than pursuing the perpetrators of dreadful deeds. But if he failed to strike fear into the hearts of the criminal underworld, his superiors had a real problem on their hands. Never before had they been forced to deal with such a well-meaning but accident-prone officer and they hoped, fervently, never to see his like again. From his early encounters with a less-than-impressed public, through the terrifying days of the Springbok Tour riots, to the gradual realisation that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for life on the beat, this is the hilarious story of a young cop who created a severe disturbance in the force.

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    I Hate it Here comes an all-new, even more outrageous and laugh-out-loud funny collection of real letters written by children ages eight to sixteen to their parents about their adventures at summer camp. Written with the same wit and honesty that made the first book a runaway hit, these new letters take the reader on a familiar adventure that conjures up the experience of being away from home, and the hilarious and lasting memories that accompany that special place called sleepaway camp.

    From “18-Year-Old Miraculously Finds Soulmate in Hometown” to “Couple Forgets 70th Wedding Anniversary,” these reports capture the heartbreak and hilarity of the human experience.

    Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night * Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.

    But, no bear hugs, please. Kathleen Keating and Mimi Noland combine their talents to show how and why all kinds of hugs have positive results on IQ, aging, self-esteem, and stress. Simple line art drawings of charismatic cartoon bears lend a whimsical touch to book guaranteed to touch your heart. A great gift idea for someone who needs a hug. A beary, beary uplifting book.

    You need to do something about that.” THINGS MY HUSBAND SAYS is an unfiltered collection of conversations between myself and my husband of over twenty-five years. If you have lost your ability to laugh at inappropriate bedroom banter between two married and consenting adults then IMMEDIATELY STOP READING! This book is not for you. We are from completely different tribes and you will hate everything about this book. I prefer to avoid receiving bad reviews when possible...So help me, help you, help me by you not reading this book full of ridiculous references about fornication. Emma Chase, NY Times Bestselling Author says,"THINGS MY HUSBAND SAYS is a collection of laugh out loud, holds nothing back, unabashedly honest, gigglingly relatable episodes that are bursting with real-life and real love on every single page. A great read for old married people, newlyweds, singles, and everyone in between." Joe “Not in My Town” Martin says, “He’s a true inspiration to mankind and they should erect statues of him for us to salute.” Bryan, The Husband said, “You better not be using my real name in this.”

    Well, now it's 2011 and Danny is back - and he's even more confused than ever! A lot has happened to Danny Wallace in the past year. He has had a baby and has been hobnobbing with the powers that be in Hollywood. But that hasn't made him any less awkward. Being more of a grown up brings its own baffling etiquette and expected social graces, and no-one has told Danny. Join Danny once again on his very funny stumble through more Awkward Situations. It's not easy being a man!

    Most of all, it’s about the difficulties of staying on the planet when it’s spinning out of control.While taking a humorous look at health, grandparenthood, computers, and social issues, How to Succeed… answers such pressing questions as: What brand of yogurt guarantees you will live to 110? Can older people really shop online, or is the "submit order" button visible only to users under 30? And how many pixels does it take to win your grandchild’s affection?As we get older, we can whine or complain about our losses--memory, muscles, and mobility--or we can roll with the paunches. This book rolls.

    The Instagram account of the same name has skyrocketed to popularity for its captivating—and sometimes titillating—ability to capture the real-life conversations between people who are looking to connect with that special someone. Tinder Nightmares is organized by theme, with chapters such as Bad English, Broetry, Strange Requests, Sneak Attacks, and more. This book explores everything from pickup lines to breakups, and all the moments that come in between. It’s the perfect gift for anyone who has ever suffered through online dating.

    I like it when you say things like 'let's pretend we're in a tunnel'. I like it when you suggest we crawl. I like it when you extinguish the lights. I do not like it when you bite me.

    When he's not in London, he's taking his show on tour up and down the country. Although he's been doing this for years, it's clear to him that his adopted home is still a a bit of an enigma. It is high time, he decides, to discover what makes the English so...well, English.