Masochism: Coldness and Cruelty & Venus in Furs


Gilles Deleuze - 1967
    Deleuze's essay, certainly the most profound study yet produced on the relations between sadism and masochism, seeks to develop and explain Masoch's "peculiar way of 'desexualizing' love while at the same time sexualizing the entire history of humanity." He shows that masochism is something far more subtle and complex than the enjoyment of pain, that masochism has nothing to do with sadism; their worlds do not communicate, just as the genius of those who created them - Masoch and Sade - lie stylistically, philosophically, and politically poles a part. Venus in Furs, the most famous of all of Masoch's novels was written in 1870 and belongs to an unfinished cycle of works that Masoch entitled The Heritage of Cain. The cycle was to treat a series of themes including love, war, and death. The present work is about love. Although the entire constellation of symbols that has come to characterize the masochistic syndrome can be found here - fetishes, whips, disguises, fur-clad women, contracts, humiliations, punishment, and always the volatile presence of a terrible coldness - these do not eclipse the singular power of Masoch's eroticism.

Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Committment


Gay Hendricks - 1990
    Through their own marriage and through twenty years' experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual. You will learn how to:* Let go of power struggles and need for control;* Balance needs for closeness and separateness; * Increase intimacy by telling the "microscopic truth"; * Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments;* Make agreements you can keep;* Allow more pleasure into your life. Addressed to individuals as well as to couples, Conscious Loving will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for enjoyment, security, and enduing love.

Living M/S: A Book for Masters, Slaves and Their Relationships


Dan Williams - 2011
    Dan and dawn share the reality behind the lifestyle that so many only fantasize about. This is a book based on the experience of a couple, who has been living together as Master and slave for well over a decade and covers such topics as: challenges of living as a M/s couple; building your own M/s dynamic; changing terminology; the communities of M/s and BDSM and how they dance together (and apart); styles of D/s and M/s; Ms and polyamory; leather; orchestrating situations with multiple slaves, as well as many other topics.

Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change


Robin Norwood - 1985
    Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.

The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body


Cameron Díaz - 2013
    By her own candid admission, though, this fit, glamorous, but down-to-earth star was not always health-conscious. Learning about the inseparable link between nutrition and the body was just one of the life-changing lessons that has fed Cameron’s hunger to educate herself about the best ways to feed, move, and care for her body. In The Body Book, she shares what she has learned and continues to discover about nutrition, exercise, and the mind/body connection.Grounded in science and informed by real life, The Body Book offers a comprehensive overview of the human body and mind, from the cellular level up. From demystifying and debunking the hype around food groups to explaining the value of vitamins and minerals, readers will discover why it’s so important to embrace the instinct of hunger and to satisfy it with whole, nutrient-dense foods. Cameron also explains the essential role of movement, the importance of muscle and bone strength and why we need to sweat a little every day.The Body Book does not set goals to reach in seven days or thirty days or a year. It offers a holistic, long-term approach to making consistent choices and reaching the ultimate goal: a long, strong, happy, healthy life.

Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry


Lola Davina - 2017
    The adult industry is riddled with pitfalls and dangers. Erotic labor is often emotionally demanding, draining, and complex. It can be hard to know who to turn to for advice on keeping yourself safe and sane. Lola Davina, former stripper, dominatrix, porn actress and escort, provides the life skills you need to prosper: · Shattering myths, such as thinking you need the “perfect” body· Creating financial freedom so you only work when you want to· Avoiding bad behavior, bad decisions, and burnout· Cultivating boundaries in an often insane industry· Learning to love your work!Thriving in sex work means having a healthy body, mind, heart, and bank account. No matter your job title or gender, whether you’re independent or work for someone else, if you want to succeed in sex work, this book is for you.“I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH! Lola Davina brings the insight, advice and compassion that only a centered, wise, experienced sex work veteran can cultivate and gather: her insider knowledge makes this book a powerful ally to any sex worker who wants a better life. Fierce, smart, pragmatic and loving — I can’t recommend it highly enough.”—Carol Queen, PhD Author, founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture

Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships


Mark A. Michaels - 2015
    These changes can and should empower people with the opportunity to develop partnerships based on their own sexualities, understandings, and agreements. This makes it possible to create what Kenneth Haslam, founder of the Kinsey Institute’s Polyamory Archive, has called “designer relationships.”Designer relationships may encompass: people who bond emotionally but not sexually; people who agree to be non-exclusive; single people who have occasional lovers or friends with benefits; couples who consciously choose to be monogamous; multiple partner configurations where long-term bonds exist among all or some; partnerships in which people are kinky and that make room to explore kink.The possibilities are limitless, and thinking about a partnership as something people can craft allows for flexibility and change. Relationships can open and close or have varying degrees and kinds of openness as circumstances demand. In the context of a designer relationship, decisions are made mutually, consciously, and deliberately.Designer Relationships will show you how to create the relationship that works for you, based on: · Free and enthusiastic choice.· Mutuality in defining the relationship and its structure.· Permission to consider all forms of relating.· Dedication to maintaining radical regard your partner(s).· Transparency about sexual history.Best-selling authors and nationally known relationship experts Patricia Johnson and Mark A. Michaels are exemplars of this life choice. This book explains exactly how you and your loved ones can design your own life and love.Editorial ReviewsReview"Michaels and Johnson's latest book on Designer Relationships takes my book, The New Monogamy one step further, past communication skills about monogamy agreements and into new ways to be transparent about all types of revolutionary forms of commitment that will take us forward into the 21st Century. Where my book left off, theirs continues and includes all the information any couple could ever want or need to create loving, open partnerships. Where most books only offer history and data, Mark and Patricia give practical advice and ground rules for trust, empathy and intimacy for collaborative non-monogamous relationship. We all need a book like this that integrates good tips and techniques and the words to define what we want from a partner; the freedom to choose. Whatever you are looking for, it is in this book. Written by a couple who really love one another and are committed to their work, this book comes at the perfect time, I am convinced it will help a lot of people."–Dr. Tammy Nelson, Author of The New Monogamy and Getting the Sex You Want"Thoughtful, honest and powerful! Reading this book is like rubbing a lamp to get your own Genie – but instead of magic, you’ll get practical guidance on how to create the relationship that’s ideal for you. Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson speak from experience, lead from the heart, and open a space for true sexual freedom."–– Ricci Joy Levy, Executive Director, The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance"Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels explore far beyond one-size-fits-all coupling to a rainbow of choices, showing us all that the only ways our relationships are supposed to be are the ways we choose with one beautifully stated guideline: “Keep kindness as your touchstone.”"–– Dossie Easton, Author of The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures and Radical Ecstasy."How would you live and love if society, religion, and the media weren’t constantly “shoulding” all over you?" –– Jenny Block“Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson is an insightful read into the different types of sexual and romantic relationships, It debunks the myths that tell us there is one type that works for everyone. It also imparts wisdom on how to navigate relationships for whichever type you find yourself in. I found this book to be a great starter guide for designing relationships that work for you."–Dr. Martha Tara Lee, author of Love, Sex and Everything In Between"I would highly recommend Designer Relationships to any couple who wants to explore opening up and wants to strengthen their relationship."–Shervon Laurice, MS, LCPC, LPCFrom the foreword:"Designer Relationships is a guidebook for these changing times and what is now available to anyone with a computer, a modicum of curiosity, and the willingness to take a risk and explore."–Ken Haslam, founder, Polyamory Archives of the Kinsey Institute

Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules


Sarah Mirk - 2014
    Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules is a love and dating guidebook that gleans real-life knowledge from smart people in a variety of nontraditional relationships. Instead of telling people how to snag a man and find “true love,” the book sums up what dozens of diverse folks have learned the hard way over time—including life advice from people who are making open relationships work to people who’ve decided they’re never going to have kids—that is helpful to anyone, in any type of relationship. The eight-chapter book follows author Sarah Mirk as she tries to figure out what kind of relationships she wants to build for herself. The book includes lengthy interviews with Tristan Taormino, Erika Moen, Betty Dodson, Aya de Leon, Tomas Moniz, Tracy Clark-Flory, and others.

The Little Book of Hygge: The Danish Way to Live Well


Meik Wiking - 2016
    That's down to one thing: hygge.'Hygge has been translated as everything from the art of creating intimacy to cosiness of the soul to taking pleasure from the presence of soothing things. My personal favourite is cocoa by candlelight...'You know hygge when you feel it. It is when you are cuddled up on a sofa with a loved one, or sharing comfort food with your closest friends. It is those crisp blue mornings when the light through your window is just right.Who better than Meik Wiking to be your guide to all things hygge? Meik is CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen and has spent years studying the magic of Danish life. In this beautiful, inspiring book he will help you be more hygge: from picking the right lighting and planning a dinner party through to creating an emergency hygge kit and even how to dress.Meik Wiking is the CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen. He is committed to finding out what makes people happy and has concluded that hygge is the magic ingredient that makes Danes the happiest nation in the world.

The Self-Care Project: How to Let Go of Frazzle and Make Time for You


Jayne Hardy - 2017
    But self-care is not just a millennial buzzword. Without the restorative power of self-care, how will we ever escape the vicious circle where we’re sick and fed-up of feeling sick and fed-up? Self-care is a tool, accessible to us all, which helps us to take responsibility for our own happiness – our physical, emotional, psychological and social needs. Jayne Hardy, founder and CEO of The Blurt Foundation, argues that it is the best preventative measure available to us to combat overwhelmedness, stress and ill health, in our hectic, modern world.The Self-Care Project is for those who have been feeling off-kilter for a while but have not been able to put the finger on the ‘why’. It is a no-nonsense, practical journey to help you do just that. It’ll walk you through the case for self-care (why it’s so darn important), why it isn’t selfish at all, help you explore what self-care means for you, what your obstacles might be and provide advice on how to chisel out daily space for self-care in a practical, achievable and realistic way.

Lives of the Stoics: The Art of Living from Zeno to Marcus Aurelius


Ryan Holiday - 2020
    It's no wonder; the philosophy and its embrace of self-mastery, virtue, and indifference to that which we cannot control is as urgent today as it was in the chaos of the Roman Empire. In Lives of the Stoics, Holiday and Hanselman present the fascinating lives of the men and women who strove to live by the timeless Stoic virtues of Courage. Justice. Temperance. Wisdom. Organized in digestible, mini-biographies of all the well-known--and not so well-known--Stoics, this book vividly brings home what Stoicism was like for the people who loved it and lived it, dusting off powerful lessons to be learned from their struggles and successes. More than a mere history book, every example in these pages, from Epictetus to Marcus Aurelius--slaves to emperors--is designed to help the reader apply philosophy in their own lives. Holiday and Hanselman unveil the core values and ideas that unite figures from Seneca to Cato to Cicero across the centuries. Among them are the idea that self-rule is the greatest empire, that character is fate; how Stoics benefit from preparing not only for success, but failure; and learn to love, not merely accept, the hand they are dealt in life. A treasure of valuable insights and stories, this book can be visited again and again by any reader in search of inspiration from the past.

The Lighthouse Effect: How Ordinary People Can Have an Extraordinary Impact in the World


Steve Pemberton - 2021
    Our polarized, divisive culture seems to be without heroes and role models. We are adrift in a dark sea of disillusionment and distrust and we need "human lighthouses" to give us hope and direct us back to the goodness in each other and in our own hearts. Steve Pemberton found a lighthouse in an ordinary man named John Sykes, his former high school counselor. John gave Steve a safe harbor after Steve escaped an abusive foster home and together they navigated a new path that led to personal and professional success. Through stories of people like John and several others, you will identify how the hardships you have overcome equip you to be a "human lighthouse," inspiring those around you. The humble gestures of kindness that change the course of our lives can shift the course for America too. With a unique vision for building up individuals and communities and restoring trust, The Lighthouse Effect opens your eyes to those who are quietly heroic. You will reflect on the lighthouses in your own life and be reminded that the greatest heroes are alongside us--and within us.

Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide to Men, Sex, and Love's Deepest Bliss


David Deida - 2002
    But when the myth you've been asked to believe fails to deliver—when you sense you've been settling for far less than you know in your heart is possible—then how do you attract and keep a man capable of meeting what you most passionately yearn for? In Dear Lover, David Deida explores every aspect of the feminine practice of spiritual intimacy, from sexuality and lovemaking, to family and career, to emotions, trust, and commitment. Written as a collection of letters from a man to his dear lover, here is this internationally acclaimed writer's invitation to practice love as a living art, as you discover how to pick the man of deep integrity who will satisfy the needs of your body, heart, and spirit.

The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man


Brett McKay - 2009
    The words macho and manly are not synonymous. Taking lessons from classic gentlemen such as Benjamin Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt, authors Brett and Kate McKay have created a collection of the most useful advice every man needs to know to live life to its full potential. This book contains a wealth of information that ranges from survival skills to social skills to advice on how to improve your character. Whether you are braving the wilds with your friends, courting your girlfriend, or raising a family, inside you’ll find practical information and inspiration for every area of life. You’ll learn the basics all modern men should know, including how to: -Shave like your grandpa -Be a perfect houseguest -Fight like a gentleman using the art of bartitsu -Help a friend with a problem -Give a man hug -Perform a fireman’s carry -Ask for a woman’s hand in marriage -Raise resilient kids -Predict the weather like a frontiersman -Start a fire without matches -Give a dynamic speech -Live a well-balanced life So jump in today and gain the skills and knowledge you need to be a real man in the 21st century.

Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex


Marty Klein - 2012
    Sex therapist, sociologist, and Psychology Today contributor Dr. Marty Klein goes beyond the sex manuals to reveal how our mindsets during sex are more important than any tricks or techniques—and that the way to a healthier, more exciting, more fulfilling sex life lies in first developing our sexual intelligence. This book is the antidote to the many gimmick-oriented sex guides and manuals; Dr. Klein shows us how to reorient how we think about sex in order to experience a truly different way of being sexual.“Marty Klein is the Steve Jobs of sex advice. . . . Sexual Intelligence is a work of enormous wisdom and expansiveness, and will inspire readers, regardless of age, to realize their full sexual potential.”—Ian Kerner, best-selling author of She Comes First