Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

     Do you constantly get anxious about your health and seek reassurance? Have you found yourself analysing every single sensation in your body? Are you spending time on the internet always looking for answers? Do you have heart palpatations that make you think you're having a heart attack? Does that impending heart attack give you a panic attack? Are you still not dead? You can rest assured it's not just you! Philip Martins was once a hypochondriac and has survived, among other things, cancer, motor neurone disease, meningitis, multiple sclerosis and having been bitten by a mosquito once, malaria. In this book he tells you how he got through his years of health anxiety, provides some anecdotes of his crazier times to cheer you up and gives you some tips all in the hope that it can bring a little relief to help you realise you're not alone. If you have health anxiety and are looking for something to relate to then this is the book for you.

    Driven from their home countries by famine and persecution, they arrived at Ellis Island full of fear and hope, determined to claim their share of the American Dream.Among the first to pass through Ellis Island was young Israel Baline, a Russian Jew who at the age of just five had seen his homeland overrun by anti-Semitic violence. Forced to flee their village deep within the Russian Empire, the Baline family used their meagre life savings to cross Europe and buy a one-way steerage-class ticket to America. They landed at Ellis Island in 1893, only to find that the streets of New York were not quite paved with gold; the riches they had risked everything for would not be easily won.Israel Baline may have traded a rural slum for an urban one, but he was an American now. He would not stay impoverished for long. Blessed with talent, spurred by the will to succeed, Israel Baline would grow up to become—under another name—his adopted country’s most famous songwriter.

     Men are weird and can behave like apes. A man can change his mind overnight and lose interest, just like that. I wrote this book to share the hard truth with you, so you can 'see' and understand why he does what he does. You’ll learn: - What goes on inside a man’s mind…and how attraction works for him - The 7 dangerous mistakes most women make with men - How you can use his “animal brain” to create natural and lasting attraction - What makes men cheat or look at other women - The 3 characteristics every man looks for in a woman - How to make him think “she’s mine, I want her!” - The one big mistake that instantly makes him lose physical attraction - What makes men seem emotionally unavailable - The crucial difference between emotional and physical attraction - and much more. Are you ready to go inside the male mind?

    To many, he is a symbol of values, sacrifice and determination. Modern notions of nationalism, liberty, and constitution all owe their debt to Lincoln, as does the unity of the American states. And yet, in his own day, Lincoln was also reviled by many as a traitor, tarnished by his associations with the wrong kind of race and the wrong end of society.Charting his ascent from humble origins to the leader of the United States during its hardest democratic and ethical conflict – the American Civil War – ‘Lincoln: History in an Hour’ is a succinct guide to the life of a great and controversial modernizer. Having educated himself and made good as a lawyer, he embarked on a journey that would see triumph in the abolition of slavery and then tragedy in the final drama of his own assassination. From his struggles as President to his family life and roles as husband, father and friend, this is the story of one of history’s greatest leaders.Love history? Know your stuff with History in an Hour…

    Now you can learn how to photograph children with the style, clarity, color, and beauty you see in professional photographs. This fun guide combines humor with solid know-how to show you how to compose shots, handle cameras from basic compacts to advanced dSLRs, take portraits or candids, create prints that impress, and even work with kids Packed with beautiful examples and written in a down-to-earth style from one mom to another, this book will help mamarazzis everywhere take better photos.Moms are one of the fastest-growing segments of the camera-toting demographic, and the blogosphere has a term for them, "mamarazzis"Mixes information, inspiration, and fun for women who want to take better photographs of the children in their livesExplains how to set up a camera and use the controls on basic compacts up to advanced dSLR camerasCovers shot composition, determining settings, exposing images correctly, the essentials of printing images, how to process for clear and bright color, and moreIncludes stunning examples of portraits and candids of childrenBecome a better mamarazzi with this fun and informative guide

    But Colin Cowherd knows what really goes on—and he’s not afraid to share the vivid details of everything ESPN doesn’t show. From hotel parties for athletes and other industry professionals, to gossip from the road between games, to what happens behind closed doors, Cowherd—who has interviewed everyone from President Barack Obama to Kate Upton—draws on personal experiences to offer you an exclusive look into the rarefied, outrageous, ego-mad sports world. With unparalleled candor and the signature, brazen voice his fans have come to know and love, Cowherd offers a unique vantage point of places and events otherwise curtained to the general sports audience, while weaving in his opinions on aspects of competition, tradition, and all things refereed. If you want honest, unvarnished opinions on current sports rivalries, scandals, and statistics, it’s all in Raw—from one of America’s most outspoken sports broadcasters on air today.

    and without chasing after clients!In The Rookie Copywriter’s Survival Guide, master copywriter and serial entrepreneur Doberman Dan, shows how anybody with just mediocre... or even NO copywriting skills... can make a LOT of money in a very short period of time.This isn’t the typical “pay your dues and work for peanuts” advice often given to rookie copywriters or people who are thinking of getting into the business of copywriting. It’s a unique way you can get paid... and paid very well... while you learn the craft of direct response copywriting.Dan reveals the exact plan he used to break free from a low paying dead-end job and went on to make MILLIONS while becoming one of the most in-demand copywriters in the country. Dan has used his copywriting skills to “bootstrap” numerous businesses over the past 20 years... with nothing but a yellow notepad, pen and the gray matter between his ears. Time and time again... in a plethora of markets and niches.You’ll discover the highly profitable secrets from a battle-hardened grizzled veteran entrepreneur, marketer and copywriter that can only be gained from decades of hard-won “in the trenches” experience.Who is Doberman Dan?After twelve years as a full-time inner city police officer and 9 years of part-time consecutive entrepreneurial failures, Dan finally discovered the secrets of the most successful copywriters and direct marketers in the world. After his 9 years of “trial by fire” business failures, he finally “hit a home run” in the mail order business. He went on to apply his successful marketing and copywriting experience to online marketing... for his own businesses and also as a consultant to some of the most successful businesses in the country.

    Kerry Stokes is a remarkable Australian. Not because he is one of this country's wealthiest and most powerful people but because of what he overcame to get there and because he has endured when others didn't. He is the last mogul. His rise has intrigued the business world for decades but there is so much more to him than takeover targets and balance sheets. Behind the laconic front is a human story as tough and touching as a Dickens tale: Oliver Twist with great self-expectations. It is the story of a poor boy who stared down poverty, ignorance and the stigma of his birth to achieve great wealth and fulfilment. A compelling story that, until now, he has not told. Now he oversees a multi-billion dollar media, machinery and property empire. He is renowned for his art collection and for philanthropy, spending millions of dollars to buy Victoria Crosses from soldiers' families to donate to the Australian War Memorial. But he's a private man. A man apart. He made his name in the West but kept his distance from the buccaneering band of entrepreneurs who forged fabulous fortunes in Perth from the 1960s until the 1987 crash. Bond went to jail, Holmes a Court died; Connell did both. Lesser lights flickered and faded but Stokes grew stronger, becoming a player alongside Murdoch, Packer and Lowy. His story fascinates all the more because he has spent most of his life guarding it. But now he's telling it, to one of Australia's great storytellers. This book will tell his story, scars and all.

    Step 1: Shedding Light on Light Sources Step 2: Conquer ISO Settings Step 3: Understanding Aperture/Depth of Field Step 4: Choosing a Shutter Speed Step 5: Composition Step 6: Tripods Step 7: Filters Heather Hummel Photography Spreads Pixel Dust on Land and Seascapes. Her photography has been on exhibit at Agora Gallery in the Chelsea District of New York City, C'ville Coffee in Charlottesville, VA and Valley View Hospital in Glenwood Springs, CO. Additionally, she licenses her photos through ImageBrief.

    Why did she get acquitted? Why did the jurors see George as a suspect? Why did they think she was a good mother? And how on God's green earth did they miss the suffocation search? There are surprisingly good answers for all of these questions. I argue in this book that not only did the prosecution hide evidence from the jury, but that the evidence points to Casey being factually innocent as well. Regardless of whether you agree with my viewpoint, I guarantee you'll learn something you didn't know before about this infamous case.

    The killing that has been done and is being done is a crucial aspect of war and an integral part of the memories servicemen bring home with them. And yet, with few exceptions, it’s only rarely discussed in public and largely left to the veterans themselves to process, wrestle with, and carry.This is unfortunate because to understand what war is and what war does, it is necessary to understand what killing is and what killing does. In “The Kill Switch,” writer Phil Zabriskie, who covered both Iraq and Afghanistan for Time and other magazines, reconnects with two Marines and other veterans he met in Iraq and finds them ready to talk about it and willing to examine soberly and honestly what they’ve done and were asked to do. From boot camp through the initial invasion to the crucible of Ramadi, the siege of Fallujah, and beyond, they recount firefights, ambushes, suicide car bombers, hand-to-hand combat, and the life and death decisions they made about Saddam’s soldiers, battle-hardened insurgents, and people, even children, who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Unflinching and as important today as it was at the height of these wars, “The Kill Switch” will stay with you long after you’re finished, just as the wars these men fought—and the killing they did—have stayed with them. Phil Zabriskie is a New York-based writer who spent many years working across Asia and the Middle East. He reported extensively on America’s wars in Afghanistan and Iraq for Time magazine and has also written about conflict and its impact on the people who live through it for National Geographic, Fortune, the Washington Post Magazine, and other publications. Cover design by Kristen Radtke.

    In the years that followed, she published other notable monographs, including "Aila" (2004), "The Eyes, the Ear" (2005) and "Semear" (2007). And now, ten years after her precipitous entry onto the international stage, Aperture has published "Illuminance," the latest volume of Kawauchi's work and the first to be published outside of Japan. Kawauchi's photography has frequently been lauded for its nuanced palette and offhand compositional mastery, as well as its ability to incite wonder via careful attention to tiny gestures and the incidental details of her everyday environment. As Sean O'Hagan, writing in "The Guardian" in 2006, noted, "there is always some glimmer of hope and humanity, some sense of wonder at work in the rendering of the intimate and fragile." In "Illuminance," Kawauchi continues her exploration of the extraordinary in the mundane, drawn to the fundamental cycles of life and the seemingly inadvertent, fractal-like organization of the natural world into formal patterns. Gorgeously produced as a clothbound volume with Japanese binding, this impressive compilation of previously unpublished images is proof of Kawauchi's unique sensibility and her ongoing appeal to lovers of photography.

    While on set, Mark met the women of Ward 81, the only locked hospital security ward for women in the state: the inmates were considered dangerous to themselves or to others. In February of 1976, just before the ward closed (it ceased to exist in November of 1977, when it became the female section of a coeducational treatment ward), Mark and Karen Folger Jacobs, a writer and social scientist, were given permission to make a more extended stay, living on the ward in order to photograph and interview the women. They spent 36 days on Ward 81, photographing and documenting. Jacobs recalls their slow, inevitable assimilation: "We felt the degeneration of our own bodies and the erosion of our self-confidence. We were horrified at the thought of what we might become after a year or two of confinement and therapy on Ward 81." This new hardcover edition adds 10 new pictures to the original. Ward 81 is a sobering investigation into the lives and treatment of the mentally ill.

    This completely updated bestseller was also written with photographers in mind. Author Martin Evening describes features in Lightroom 4 in detail from a photographer’s perspective. As an established commercial and fashion photographer, Martin knows firsthand what photographers need for an efficient workflow. He has also been working with Lightroom from the beginning, monitoring the product’s development and providing valued feedback to Adobe. As a result, Martin knows the software inside and out, from image selection to image editing to image management. In this book you’ll learn how to:• Work efficiently with images shot in the raw or JPEG format • Import photographs with ease and sort them according to your workflow• Create and manage a personal image library• Apply tonal adjustments to multiple images quickly• Integrate Lightroom with Adobe Photoshop• Export images for print or Web as digital contact sheets or personal portfolios• Make the most of new features in Lightroom 4, such as the Camera Raw Process 2012 Basic panel tone controlsPhotographers will find Lightroom 4–and The Adobe Photoshop Lightroom 4 Book–indispensable tools in their digital darkrooms.This book’s companion site, www.thelightroombook.com, offers video tutorials, articles, sample images, and updates from author Martin Evening.“With Martin’s expert guidance, you’ll soon find that you have precisely the tools you need to turn your concentration back where it belongs–on making better pictures!”–George Jardine, digital photography consultant “As a photographer himself, Martin Evening knows what tools photographers need to realize their creative vision. In this book, he shows not only how Adobe Photoshop Lightroom works but also why it will become an essential part of any photographer’s workflow.”–Greg Gorman, photographer