Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead


Robert Brockway - 2010
    . . Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing 
essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now: •   Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first. •   Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space!•   Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.”

The Fran Lebowitz Reader


Fran Lebowitz - 1994
    In "elegant, finely honed prose" (The Washington Post Book World), Lebowitz limns the vicissitudes of contemporary urban life—its fads, trends, crazes, morals, and fashions. By turns ironic, facetious, deadpan, sarcastic, wry, wisecracking, and waggish, she is always wickedly entertaining.

Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters


Mallory Ortberg - 2014
    Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

The Official Preppy Handbook


Lisa Birnbach - 1980
    Looking, acting, and ultimately being Prep is not restricted to an elite minority lucky enough to attend prestigious private schools, just because an ancestor or two happened to arrive here on the Mayflower. You don't even have to be registered Republican. In a true democracy everyone can be upper class and live in Connecticut. It's only fair. The Official Preppy Handbook will help you get there.

Understand Rap: Explanations of Confusing Rap Lyrics that You & Your Grandma Can Understand


William Buckholz - 2010
    Enter Understand Rap, a very funny pop-cultural reference book based on the website of the same name, which precisely explains the confusing lyrics and terms used in rap songs using language that even the most un-hip person can understand. The juxtaposition of a dry, academic tone with hip-hop terminology results in a book that’s as entertaining as it is informative.

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys


Greg Behrendt - 2004
    For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that —despite good intentions— you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. He's Just Not That Into You —based on a popular episode of Sex and the City— educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. This book knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better.

The Encylopedia of Immaturity


Klutz - 2007
    The Encyclopedia of Immaturity contains more than 300 entries: How to Skip a Stone, How to Do a Wheelie, How to Hang a Spoon from Your Nose, How to Really Annoy Your Older Sibling Have fun

Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me


Carrie Ann DiRisio - 2017
    Join Broody McHottiepants as he attempts to pen Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me, a "self-help" guide (with activities--you always need activities) that lovingly pokes fun at the YA tropes that we roll our eyes at, but secretly love. As his nefarious ex, Blondie DeMeani, attempts to thwart him at every turn, Broody overcomes to detail, among other topics, how to choose your genre, how to keep your love interest engaged (while maintaining lead character status), his secret formula for guaranteed love triangle success, and how to make sure you secure that sequel, all while keeping his hair perfectly coiffed and never breaking a sweat.

Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language


Richard Lederer - 1987
    From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed Up Metaphors...from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers, Anguished English is a treasury of assaults upon our common language.

The Book of Ratings: Opinions, Grades, and Assessments of Everything Worth Thinking about


Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg - 2002
    Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.

The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America


Matt Kracht - 2019
    Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels


Sarah Wendell - 2009
     We do it in the dark. Under the sheets. With a penlight. We wear sunglasses and a baseball hat at the bookstore. We have a "special place" where we store them. Let's face it: Not many folks are willing to publicly admit they love romance novels. Meanwhile, romance continues to be the bestselling fiction genre. Ever. So what's with all the shame? Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan -- the creators of the wildly popular blog Smart Bitches, Trashy Books -- have no shame! They look at the good, the bad, and the ugly in the world of romance novels and tackle the hard issues and questions: -- The heroine's irresistible Magic Hoo Hoo and the hero's untamable Wang of Mighty Lovin' -- Sexual trends. Simultaneous orgasms. Hymens. And is anal really the new oral? -- Romance novel cover requirements: man titty, camel toe, flowers, long hair, animals, and the O-face -- Are romance novels really candy-coated porn or vehicles by which we understand our sexual and gender politics? With insider advice for writing romances, fun games to discover your inner Viking warrior, and interviews with famous romance authors, Beyond Heaving Bosoms shows that while some romance novels are silly -- maybe even tawdry -- they can also be intelligent, savvy, feminist, and fabulous, just like their readers!

William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Mean Girls


Ian Doescher - 2019
    Bitter rivalries. Jealousy. Betrayals. Star-crossed lovers. When you consider all these plot points, it's pretty surprising William Shakespeare didn't write Mean Girls. But now fans can treat themselves to the epic drama--and heroic hilarity--of the classic teen comedy rendered with the wit, flair, and iambic pentameter of the Bard. Our heroine Cady disguises herself to infiltrate the conniving Plastics, falls for off-limits Aaron, struggles with her allegiance to newfound friends Damian and Janis, and stirs up age-old vendettas among the factions of her high school. Best-selling author Ian Doescher brings his signature Shakespearean wordsmithing to this cult classic beloved by generations of teen girls and other fans. Now, on the 15th anniversary of its release, Mean Girls is a recognized cultural phenomenon, and it's more than ready for an Elizabethan makeover.

Why Fish Fart and Other Useless or Gross Information about the World


Francesca Gould - 2009
    In Why Fish Fart and Other Useless (or Gross) Information About the World, Francesca Gould sifts through the world's most unpleasant creatures, diseases, physical deformities, culinary delicacies, ritual practices, and hideous torture tactics to uncover every horrifying and stomach-turning fact under the sun. This book is full of questions you never thought to ask?and perhaps will wish you?d never had answered?including:?What exactly is maggot cheese? ?How did anal hair help to lead to the conviction of the Great ?Train Robbers? ?What is the job of a ?fart catcher How exactly do ?crabs? cause such intense itching around one's private parts? ?The real story behind why the toilet is often referred to as ?the john.? ?Why you might want to steer clear of some coffees. (Hint: If poo isn't exactly your idea of appetizing . . .)Why Fish Fart and Other Useless (or Gross) Information About the World is sure to delight any and all hard-core fans of the obscure, esoteric, and?last but not least?grotesque.

What's Your Poo Telling You?: (Funny Bathroom Books, Health Books, Humor Books, Funny Gift Books)


Josh Richman - 2007
    But what does it mean? What's Your Poo Telling You will help you figure it out.Find out just how much you can learn from studying what's in the bowl: With universal appeal (everyone poops, after all), this witty, illustrated description of over two dozen dookies (each with a medical explanation written by a doctor) details what one can learn about health and well-being through your poo. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps?• All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chard. the list goes on and on, so you'll learn about all of the variations and what they mean to your health• Also includes sidebars, trivia, over 60 euphemisms for number 2, and unusual case histories that make this the ultimate bathroom reader• With illustrations included, you'll get loads of facts about your health in a hilarious and entertaining book that finally gives poo the respect it deservesJosh Richman and Dr. Anish Sheth have written a tell-all tribute to poo that demystifies the inner working of the digestive tract and explains your health by what you see before you flush. • Josh Richman has an MBA from Stanford University and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area• Anish Sheth, M.D., is a gastroenterologist in Princeton, New Jersey, and is affiliated with the University Medical Center of Princeton at Plainsboro• A must-have gift for any bowel-movement obsessed loved one