Congratulations! But before beginning that dark and shadowed journey into a life of eternal damnation, every vampire is required to read THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, a short step-by-step guide to becoming a vampire and then adjusting to the bloodsucking lifestyle. Some of the helpful tips in this handbook include: Rules for Living an Environmentally Friendly and Urbane, Undead Lifestyle, Dietary Restrictions for Vampires, Engaging in Battles with Other Immortals, Rules for Fitting into Society and not Scaring off Potential Meals and much more... In addition to THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK, you will also get THE WERE/SHAPE-SHIFTER HANDBOOK and THE ZOMBIE HANDBOOK as well as a few sample chapters from PJ Jones's sparkly vampire parody, ROMANCE NOVEL.

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

    Instead she found chaos and intrigue, but also a tight-knit community full of wonderful characters who helped her through difficult times.Swept Away is a short story based around a large country medical practice in Larkford that also features in Penny Parkes' novels Out of Practice and Practice Makes Perfect. The Surgery at Larkford proves to be a hotbed of rivalry, resentment and romance - and that's just the doctors.

    Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.Myrik had been a disgraced Enjel with guilt issues. Now, he is a Guardian in the Nyal Imperium and he puts himself between the innocent and danger. He is part of a group sent in to rescue a Negotiator with the power to start or end wars, and when she comes out of her shell he is delightfully surprised.Alexia is one of the Second Wave of Terran Volunteers. She went from basic training into Negotiator armour and now, she is kidnapped, tortured and waiting for a hit squad to end her security risk. The arms of an Enjel take her off to a new lease on life, but it is security that he offers and compassion that he gives.He will defend her with his life, but she hopes that it will not come to that.

    Smart, dedicated, gorgeous, and, thanks to her last movie before she hung up on Hollywood, rich, she's a pleasure to oblige when she says Rob has to witness this channeler Ariaura's act--on her, not the Eye's, nickel--despite channelers being so last year. It's quite a show, all right, for in the midst of Ariaura's particular ancient wise guy's basso spiel, a gravelly baritone interrupts (both voices emanate from the channeler's female mouth) to berate the audience as "yaps" and the act as "claptrap." Why is Ariaura undermining herself? Or is she? After all, she angrily accuses Rob and Kildy of scheming to destroy her. Could the baritone belong to a genuine channeled spirit? Willis, one of sf's most spirited writers, rounds on the New Age; pays tribute to a great, skeptical journalist; and affectionately parodies pulp fiction at its best in this irresistible entertainment.

    Dangerously Wrong...but not if dashing vampire Chance has anything to say about it. As a favor to Bones, Chance has come to derail this wedding of beauty to the beast. Now if only he can keep his hands off the bride. From New York Times bestselling author Jeaniene Frost’s Night Huntress world, it’s the wedding of the season...that everyone wants to miss. (Originally appeared in Weddings From Hell anthology)

    Azhriaz, Daughter of Night, was the child of Night's Master, and he had hidden her where none could find her None, that is, but his enemy Chuz, who spirited Azhriaz away to the world above.But Azhrarn would not easily accept losing that which he considered his, and even such determined lovers as Delusion's Master and Delirium's Mistress could not long hide from the Demon Lord's wrath.Night's Sorceries. While Chuz and Azhriaz dwelt together in the world of men, their magic worked strange spells on all with whom the lovers and their pursuer came in contact. Time itself was turned back, wizards found their most powerful spells recast, and a mere mortal dared to reach as high as the moon and the sun.

    But they don’t die, and we do. Equilibrium.The unnamed and morally questionable narrator is an exorcist with great follow-through and few doubts. His methods aren’t delicate but they’re undeniably effective: he’ll get the demon out — he just doesn’t particularly care what happens to the person.Prosper of Schanz is a man of science, determined to raise the world’s first philosopher-king, reared according to the purest principles. Too bad he’s demonically possessed.

    But when a powerful enemy threatens their beloved city of Boston, they form a reluctant alliance. It's supposed to be temporary--just one night, in fact. But as the tension between them builds to the breaking point, neither is prepared for what happens next.Taming the Vampire is a sexy paranormal romance novella of 17,000 words, or about 60 pages. It's the first book in the Blood and Absinthe series.The Blood and Absinthe series:Book 1 - Taming the Vampire (a novella)Book 2 - Bound by the Vampire (a novella)Book 3 - Claiming the Vampire (a full-length novel)Book 4 - Drawn to the Vampire (a full-length novel)Book 5 - Caught by the Wolf (coming in 2014!)EXCERPT"I'll stay on one condition," he said.Her heart thumped against her ribs. "What?""We'll do the ritual, but on my terms."She wished he wasn't so tall. It gave him an unfair advantage, being able to tower over her like this. It was hard to breathe, hard to-- "What do you mean, your terms?""Do you want to know a secret?"Her blood was rushing in her ears. She couldn't speak.He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her hard against him. She gasped, as shocked as if she'd stepped into icy water. She felt his strength, his power, and for a second her own power seemed to desert her. He bent his head close to hers. "I want you," he whispered.Her face flamed, like a teenager's."I've wanted you from the first moment I saw you," he said, and now his lips were on her throat, at her pulse point, against her collar bone.She opened her mouth but no words came out. Her eyes closed and her head went back, and he kissed his way up her throat, to her ear, and then he was whispering to her again."I can make you feel good, Liz. Better than anyone's ever made you feel."

    What’s worse is that every time she leaves the house, she winds up in some kind of altercation. She can’t help but wonder if she’s an idiot magnet, or if she’s the smart-mouth stirring things up. Hoping for a little peace of mind, Ace gives in to the advice of her best friend and goes to see a therapist. But she quickly discovers that the road to nirvana isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. And as Ace goes from one therapeutic misadventure to another, the plus-sized spitfire becomes more determined than ever to find enlightenment—even if it means bending herself into a pretzel to do it.

    He's not. He’s Barry Harris and he still lives with his mum. Barry's been patient, but after twenty-seven years of trimming hedges for people he hates, he's had enough. All he wants to do is to find his missing father and to discover his inner ninja. But life’s not done with throwing him curveballs. A fatal mistake catapults Barry into the adventure of a lifetime. With talking hedges, samurai ghosts, meddling psychotherapists, and an inexplicably non-linear time pattern conspiring against him, Barry must do battle to save his hide, unleash the ninja within, and rescue his father from an ancient army, a dark sorcerer and a raging inferno. What is the mysterious Prophecy Allocation Department? Where is The Before and After? Even more importantly, Will Barry’s underwear hold out until he has saved the day?

    Previously difficult for readers to discover in its new modes, urban fantasy is represented here in all three of its distinct styles—playful new mythologies, sexy paranormal romances, and gritty urban noir. Whether they feature tattooed demon-hunters, angst-ridden vampires, supernatural gumshoes, or pixelated pixies, these authors—including Patricia Briggs, Neil Gaiman, and Charles de Lint—mash-up traditional fare with pop culture, creating iconic characters, conflicted moralities, and complex settings. The result is starkly original fiction that has broad-based appeal and is immensely entertaining.ContentsIntroduction by Peter S. Beagle Mythic FictionIntroduction: “A Personal Journey Into Mythic Fiction” by Charles de Lint “A Bird That Whistles” by Emma Bull“Make a Joyful Noise” by Charles de Lint“The Goldfish Pool and Other Stories” by Neil Gaiman“On the Road to New Egypt” by Jeffrey Ford“Julie’s Unicorn” by Peter S. BeagleParanormal RomanceIntroduction: “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Urban Fantasy” by Paula Guran “Companions to the Moon” by Charles de Lint“A Haunted House of Her Own” by Kelley Armstrong“She’s My Witch” by Norman Partridge“Kitty’s Zombie New Year” by Carrie Vaughn“Seeing Eye” by Patricia Briggs“Hit” by Bruce McAllister “Boobs” by Suzy McKee Charnas “Farewell, My Zombie” by Francesca Lia BlockNoir FantasyIntroduction: “We Are Not a Club, but We Sometimes Share a Room” by Joe R. Lansdale “The White Man” by Thomas M. Disch“Gestella” by Susan Palwick“The Coldest Girl in Coldtown” by Holly Black“Talking Back to the Moon” by Steven R. Boyett“On the Far Side of the Cadillac Desert With Dead Folks” by Joe R. Lansdale“The Bible Repairman” by Tim Powers“Father Dear” by Al Sarrantonio

    Can Ezekyle Abaddon reunite the Warmaster's sons before they embrace extinction?

    I don’t believe in that. Because love isn’t about falling for someone’s looks. Though she was beautiful in every single way, from her dark, wavy hair to her gorgeous brown eyes, to the soft curves of her body. But that’s not why I fell so hard for her that summer. She took my breath away for reasons that had nothing to do with her looks. It was the the movies, the conversations, the walks through the small town, the nights on the beach with the waves rolling in, the way I could hold her hand and feel as if the world had simply melted away and we were all that was left. So, there was no love-at-first-sight. That would come later, and if it happened first it would take away all the reasons that stayed with me for the next five years. Even though you’re not supposed to fall for your best friend’s little sister. But that didn't stop me...A prequel novella in the New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Caught Up in Love series.

    . . with all her heart. As program director for the Camelot Community Center, Amber Clark knows how to keep her cool. That is, until a sudden tornado warning forces her to take shelter in a darkened basement with a hunk of man whose sex appeal green lights her every fantasy. With a voice that would melt chocolate, he asks her if she is okay. Now she's hot all over and wondering: How does a girl make a move? Building contractor Tony Mazzara was just looking to escape nature's fury. Instead, he finds himself all tangled up with lovely Amber. Sweet and sexy, she's ready to unleash her wild side. Their mutual desire reaches a fever pitch and creates a storm of its own--unexpected, powerful, and unforgettable. But is it bigger than Tony can handle? Can he let go of painful memories and let the force of this remarkable woman show him a future he never dreamed existed? Includes a special message from the editor, as well as excerpts from these Loveswept titles: Along Came Trouble, Flirting with Disaster, and Room at the Inn.