After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Julian Norton has been a vet for over twenty years, and in that time he has treated animals of every kind – snakes and lizards, fish and fowl, sheep, goats, alpacas, cows, horses, swans ... you name it, Julian has seen it and, most likely, made it better!In A Yorkshire Vet Through the Seasons, Julian recounts more inspirational tales from his life, the animals he has treated and the people he has met, as well as taking us through the seasons, showing the challenges and surprises that occur at the most unlikely times. His voice, well known from the television series A Yorkshire Vet on Channel 5, comes over loud and clear in his writing, and the compassion and professionalism he is known for on the TV shines brightly through these pages.Whether he’s tending to a domestic pet at his practice in Thirsk or called out to an injured swan in the middle of a cold Yorkshire night, the animals always come first and Julian’s passion and commitment are always to the fore. Full of drama, small triumphs, sadness and happiness, this book is an inspiration for anyone who loves animals as well as those who dream of becoming a vet.

    So when Sam heard a woman telling his mum that her cat had just had kittens, Sam pleaded to go and see them.Helen's heart melted as Sam held one of the kittens in his hands with a look of total adoration. In a trice the deal was done - the kitten would be delivered when she was big enough to leave her mother.A week later, Sam was dead. Not long after, a little black kitten was delivered to the grieving family. Totally traumatised by Sam's death, Helen had forgotten all about the new arrival. After all, that was back in another universe when Sam was alive.Helen was ready to send the kitten back, but Sam's younger brother wanted to keep her, identifying with the tiny black kitten who'd also lost her brothers. When Rob stroked her fur, it was the first time Helen had seen him smile since Sam's death. There was no choice: the kitten - dubbed Cleo - had to stay.Kitten or not, there seemed no hope of becoming a normal family. But Cleo's zest for life slowly taught the traumatised family to laugh. She went on to become the uppity high priestess of Helen's household, vetoing her new men, terrifying visiting dogs and building a special bond with Rob, his sister Lydia, Helen - and later a baby daughter.

    The theme is the experience of Longden watching LOST FOR WORDS become a TV drama along with a collection of observations of life at home and abroad.

    Anonymity has been a potent weapon in revealing the real world of football stars, and five years on, he has now penned the work that all his fellow professionals have been urging him to do from the start, The Secret Footballer: What Goes on Tour. And it isn't going to stay on tour any more...From Marbella and Ibiza to Dubai and Las Vegas, The Secret Footballer lays bare the worst, most embarrassing and most hilarious excesses of these fit and mostly fickle young men whose million-pound salaries, to use his own words, 'open up a host of recreational opportunities'. Fuelled by rampaging desires for sex, drugs, booze and rock'n'roll, these footballers think up ever more extreme ways of splashing the cash, and needless to say, it doesn't always end well...

    And St Michael’s Secondary School has got a new member of staff. Jeremy Clovenhoof, has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to share all he has learned with the next generation. Whether it’s turning toilet graffiti into art, getting a date by making nuisance calls or making the most of being ill, he’s got advice for everyone. Join Clovenhoof at the start of his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

    With acid tongue planted firmly in cheek, author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing takes on the president’s unsurpassed ignorance, rampant racism, shocking pettiness, vertiginous dishonesty, and more. Based on the viral Daily Kos post of the same name. Approximately 345 pages.

    Some are mousers, like Princess, a black cat who works at Mill Ridge Farm's stables. Some are circus performers, like Tuna and her furry friends in The Amazing Acro-Cats. And some are even politicians, like Mayor Stubbs, an orange tabby who holds office in Talkeetna, Alaska.In Cats on the Job, we meet these and other whiskered workers who keep their human colleagues company from 9 to 5—with the occasional break for a nap or a belly rub—and make every day at the office better.

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    Whether impish kittens, regal adult cats or serene seniors, it's impossible for us to remain indifferent to them--especially at 4 A.M. when the food bowl runs dry! So smile at their many "c'attitudes," and feed your feline passion by "purr-using" wonderful stories like these: A Russian blue comforts his mourning owner by faithfully bringing her flowers An heroic red tabby Manx saves the family he loves from a lethal gas leak in their home A Devon rex with extraordinary talents--including playing the piano--expands people's notions of what a cat can do A fish-loving shorthair nearly loses his head while scavenging in the garbage disposal--but lives to meow about it A three-legged kitty befriends a lonely third-grade girl, transforming her world and inspiring her future success in lifeFrom playful and hilarious accounts of life with cats to heartwarming tales of cat courage, healing and learning, each touching story in Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover's Soul celebrates the special bond we share with our cats.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    Doggie laureates not only chew on quite a lot of things, they also reveal their creativity, their hidden motives, and their eternal (and sometimes misguided) effervescence through such musings as "I Dropped a Ball," "I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House," and "Can You Smell That?" Accompanied throughout by portraits of the canine poets in all their magnificence, I Could Chew on This is a work of unbridled enthusiasm, insatiable appetite, and, yes, creative genius.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    Sixty! She feels half that age, even if the mirror tells her otherwise. Hubby Keith promises her a birthday to remember, and doesn’t let her down, but packing his suitcase to shack up with a forty-something isn’t quite the memory Annie wants to make. Suddenly she’s single and – as an empty nester – very, very alone. The Bucket List she and Keith had promised to work their way through is but a dream, until besties Bella and Caz rally around Annie and whisk her away for a trip that will be remembered for ever. Dubai. But it’s not all skyscrapers, bling, sand dunes and sheikhs. As the sun sinks over the horizon of Jumeirah Beach… might there also be love?

    Through classic comics, blog entries, and a wealth of other wacky new material, experience Jon’s dating disasters, phone call faux pas, wardrobe malfunctions, and mirthful mishaps—and cheer the geek with a heart of gold as he finally finds true love with Liz, the veterinarian. (Who’d have thunk it?) So, rejoice, Jon fans, and enjoy the fun. The moment of goof has arrived!