Empress Gold


Jeffrey Whittam - 2013
    Both keys slid in unopposed. Both locks operated first time – lifting the heavy lid took all of Lee’s strength.From inside the box the accumulated wealth of twenty years stared up at him. Though he had seen it a hundred times before, under that yellow glare from his cap lamp the buttery glint of raw metal took his breath away.For over two decades, the Goddards have struggled through the uncertainties of war, political upheaval and now, faced with mounting pressure from a corrupt government, they are forced to make decisions that will change their lives forever. As Managing Director of the Empress Deep gold mine, Lee Goddard rolls into play the final ball of an already dangerous game.Fostered by rampant avarice and political uncertainty, life in Zimbabwe is worthless – only the elite survive. For a fortune in gold and tribal treasures, some are willing to sell the very soul of an emergent country.

Top Gear: The Alternative Highway Code


Ministry of Top Gear - 2010
    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

Travels With Tinkerbelle - 6000 Miles Around France In A Mechanical Wreck


Susie Kelly - 2006
    Like many simple plans it went wrong before it started and they ended up with two dogs and a campervan named Tinkerbelle. On the second day of their journey Tinkerbelle begins to self-destruct, helped by the new dog who does his best to eat her from the inside out. This is their story, as they travel from sandy beaches to snow-topped mountains exploring the diverse cultures, cuisines and countryside making up the country called France. Their journey takes them to places out of the ordinary, meeting interesting characters and witnessing ancient traditions. While the dogs rejoice in the freedom they find running on the beaches, Susie and Terry spend a lot of time holding their breath, wondering whether Tinkerbelle will manage to negotiate impossible mountain routes and get them home before she completely disintegrates. Travels with Tinkerbelle is a revision of "A Perfect Circle," previously published by Transworld Publishers. Enhanced features of this edition include chapter by chapter map links of the journey.

Tea Party Fairy Tales


James Finn Garner - 2012
    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

A Teaspoon of Courage: A Little Book of Encouragement for Whenever You Need It


Bradley Trevor Greive - 2006
    From time to time, we could all use a shot of unfiltered courage to get past the challenges that life regularly throws down at our feet."--Bradley Trevor GreiveEven though life comes with more ups than downs, the downs will still be there. The only way to face them is with courage. Not bluff, not bravado, not over-starched underwear, but true courage. A Teaspoon of Courage delivers just the right pick-me-up to anyone facing troubled times--those moments of despair when you'd rather crawl back under the covers than face the world again. BTG acknowledges the universality of fear, loss, heartache, anxiety, and body odor, then with gentle wit and firm resolve marches us down the path to steely nerve, and unstoppable passion. "Whether you know it or not," he writes, "you were born tough enough to tackle anything important in life."BTG weaves his laser-sharp insights and practical tips for courageous living with fresh and funny animal portraits, further reinforcing his message that no one is immune to fearful feelings. This exquisite gift book is ideal for Monday mornings, dentist appointments, ending lousy relationships, eating haggis, and facing life's difficulties head on.

The Dog Got It All


Robert McCullough - 2015
    Phipps is “one of those rescues who are all the rage these days,” an upscale Manhattan dog with a rich owner, a great dog walker and an idyllic New York lifestyle. But his world is turned upside down when his owner, Angie DeSoto, suddenly passes from pancreatic cancer. The good news is that Angie leaves her millions to Mr. Phipps and he finds himself temporarily in the care of Devin McCloud, his dog walker and best bud. The bad news is that her adult children, a contentious clan at best, are furious about being left out in the cold, money-wise. And there's more. According to the terms of the will, Mr. Phipps and his millions will go to one of Angie's progeny, specifically the one best qualified to take care of him. After a brief trial period in which each one takes the dog, their efforts will be judged by a panel of dog experts – a famous, Cesar Millan-style dog trainer, a pet psychic and a renowned behaviorist. To further complicate matters, love will strike on several fronts as Mr. Phipps tells his story and his fate unfolds in this charming canine romantic comedy that reads like a date night version of "Marley and Me".

The Racist's Guide to the People of South Africa


Simon Kilpatrick - 2010
    After sorting out the labels Black, English Whites, Afrikaners, and Coloreds, the discussion pushes on to more difficult questions: Why should you never give a White woman a white-gold engagement ring? Why do Indian men always play sports in jeans? and How do Colored gangsters fare in the navy?

Scam


Jack Stroke - 2019
     Best to know what you're stealing and who you're stealing from. When wannabe criminal Jonathan hears about a life-changing amount of unprotected cash just begging to be stolen, the opportunity is too good to pass up. Problem is he can’t do it alone, so he ropes in a couple of low rent potheads, kicking off a whole bunch of trouble. Can Nuke, a gangster with an explosive temper and marital difficulties, sort out the mess? All while balancing his psychotic bosses, some dodgy cops, his bored wife and of course Jonathan, the man with the plan? SCAM is an exciting romp full of dumb criminals, harebrained schemes, formidable femme fatales and even a sweet love story, all told with a distinctly Australian sensibility. You'll love this gritty crime thriller because the twists and turns will keep you guessing (and laughing) until the very last second. Get it today.

Uncle Dysfunctional


A.A. Gill - 2017
    In this raffish, hilarious, scathing yet often surprisingly humane collection, Gill applies his unmatched wit to the largest and smallest issues of our time. Whether you're struggling to satisfy your other half, having a crisis over your baldness, don't like your daughter's boyfriend, or need the definitive rules on shorts, leather jackets and man-bags, AA Gill has all the answers - but you'd better brace yourself first.

Who I Am and What I Want


David Shrigley - 2003
    In this mock autobiographical collection his mischievous drawings capture life's anxieties and ambitions from the mundane to the surreal. Here, at last, is The Truth about beer, doctors, shadow puppets, lunch, dolphins, boredom, and supernatural forces. Seductively strange and addictively amusing, this edgy little book welcomes the uninitiated and rewards the faithful.

People Who Deserve It: Socially Responsible Reasons to Punch Someone in the Face


Casey Rand - 2010
     Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever:Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too SeriouslyPeople Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

The Totally Legend of Brandon Thighmaster (Authors and Dragons Origins Book 1)


Steve Wetherell - 2017
    I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster."

Isn't it well for ye? The Book of Irish Mammies


Colm O'Regan - 2012
    She's never short of advice, a kind word and a cup of tea (making sure to scald the teapot first, of course).Bring the coat anyway. If it's too hot you can take it off.Comedian Colm O'Regan explores the phenomenon of the Irish Mammy and what she might say about everything from the 'new mass' to the cardinal sin of not owning a cough bottle and the importance of airing clothes properly. The global influence of the Irish Mammy, through history, science, politics and literature, is undeniable. Did you know, for instance, that Hamlet had an Irish Mammy?So if you're an Irish Mammy, have one, know one or suspect you might be turning into one, this book will act as your guide. But be aware that though this book might think it knows it all, it doesn't, only Mammy knows it all.

A Guide to the Birds of East Africa


Nicholas Drayson - 2008
    Malik has been secretly in love with Rose Mbikwa, a woman who leads the weekly bird walks sponsored by the East African Ornithological Society. Just as Malik is getting up the nerve to invite Rose to the Nairobi Hunt Club Ball (the premier social occasion of the Kenyan calendar), Harry Khan, a nemesis from his school days, arrives in town.Khan has also become enraptured with Rose and announces his intent to invite her to the Ball. Rather than force Rose to choose between the two men, a clever solution is proposed. Whoever can identify the most species of birds in one week’s time gets the privilege of asking Ms. Mbikwa to the ball.

Home Again (Kitten Adventure #1)


Tara Star - 2015
    Daisy comes to realize that the warmth of home is much more attractive than the harshness of the outside world; that after the adventures of life-pleasant and unpleasant, it’s good to come to a home where love and care reign supreme…even from those you least expect. The close relationship between human beings and their pets has been around since time immemorial. ‘Home Again’ highlights this special bond and presents it in a way that can be enjoyed by the entire family.