Book picks similar to
The Mother of All Meltdowns by Crystal PontiAndrea Moore
parenting
non-fiction
humor
ebook
TMI Mom: Oversharing My Life
Heather Davis - 2013
From scorching her hoo-hah with jalapeños to attempting Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease in torn sweats and tube socks to her frustrated desire to pour tequila on her cereal when her kids say, ‘I’m booooooooored!,’ Heather Davis serves up hilarious tales of family-life insanity that are never mean (except when skewering herself) and never leave the reader screaming, ‘I’m boooooooored!’ TMI Mom FTW!” — Linda Erin Keenan, author of SuburgatoryEver wished you could say what you were really thinking?TMI Mom Heather Davis does just that. With her trademark dry wit and knack for storytelling, TMI Mom goes where no mom has been (at least in the pages of a book), with stories about the crazy things that can happen — in the minivan, the bedroom, and out in the big, bad world
Four Eyes Were Never Better Than Two
Kelly Coleman Potter - 2014
This could be due to the nearsightedness that presented itself in third grade when she became known as four-eyed Smelly Kelly, but it’s not. According to her high school Journalism teacher, Potter has a unique perspective and outlook on life. She still doesn’t know if that was a compliment or an insult – or perhaps, just a nice way to say she’s weird. In this collection of essays, Four Eyes Were Never Better Than Two…and other observations, Potter offers a candid look at the human condition with tales recounting the past and present. From her younger days of dreaming about being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader so she could own pom-poms to sex education taught by a Joyce Dewitt look-alike, Potter confesses all – including the ironic account of throwing up on a dog named Ralph. No stranger to embarrassment, she writes of cold sores that require an exorcism and the torture that was seventh grade gym class, capturing the angst, humiliation, and absurdity in those moments that often define us as individuals. Observations include: desperation can make a person do some pretty stupid things like answering a personal ad, hot wax is best left in the hands of a professional if you value your lips, and nothing is so surprising as the man who claims to hate dancing busting a move in a hospital recovery room. Even if you’ve never had to admit in a public setting that you’re having your period, passed out at the eye doctor’s office, or had an illogical fear of a lawn mower, Potter’s self-deprecating wit and sometimes bizarre sense of humor will make you glad these things only happen on sit-coms… or to her.
The Things You Would Have Said: The Chance to Say What You Always Wanted Them to Know
Jackie Hooper - 2012
Friends fall out of touch, loved ones pass away, or sometimes the courage required is simply lacking-and thank-yous, regrets, feelings, and secrets are left unshared. In 2009, Jackie Hooper came up with a way to help people recapture a moment that had once passed them by-she began asking them to write letters.Based on the popular blog The Things You Would Have Said,, this extraordinary collection of letters brings together the moving, surprising, and inspiring stories of ordinary people. By turns heartwarming, funny, sad, and wise, the letters showcase a remarkable range of voices and subjects. From the indignant young boy urging his bully to become "a better man," to the woman apologizing to the girl she picked on in high school, to a man thanking the woman who protected his family from Nazis, the letters bring together an outpouring of emotion that is as compelling as it is cathartic.
Lost in Suburbia: a Momoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs
Tracy Beckerman - 2013
But her new life as a stay-at-home mom knocks her for a loop in more ways than one. From the embarrassment of being ticketed while driving in her bathrobe to the challenge of making friends in the land of big hair and minivans, Beckerman shares her struggles with self-deprecating humor as she endeavors to reclaim her cool.Beckerman reveals the universal trials, tribulations, and triumphs of every mom who has to figure out how to stay sane while fishing Barbie heads out of the toilet; how to laugh when your kid asks the fat cop at the doughnut shop if he’s having a baby; and how to look good when your post-baby butt is so big you want to hang a “Caution: Wide Load” sign behind you.At once irreverent, hilarious, and keenly observed, Lost in Suburbia is about what you give up to become a mother—and what you get back.
Funny Little Pregnant Things: The Good, the Bad and the Just Plain Gross Things about Pregnancy That Other Books Aren't Going to Tell You.
Emily Doherty - 2014
Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where's the good stuff, the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don t tell you about pregnancy the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the Holidays
Jill SmoklerNatalie Hoage - 2014
Then you’re screwed.But wait, there’s hope: Scary Mommy Guide to Surviving the Holidays to the rescue!Yes, in this handy holiday guide, you’ll find everything you need to survive the fall/winter rush of cheer in style, and without having a mental breakdown. From relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids’ table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas, this book is your ticket to peace of mind—and a laugh—during the busy, crazy holiday season!
Wal-Mart Book of Ethics Abridged Edition
R.A. Wilson - 2012
Why else would you be looking at this book? If you have ever wanted to see behind the front lines of retail, this is the book for you. If you want to validate your own experiences in retail, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh at humorous things from funny people, this is the book for you. Packed full of true short stories from working in one of these super stores, only one conclusion can be reached in the end: Wal-Mart is the craziest place on Earth!
Listen to Your Mother: What She Said Then, What We're Saying Now
Ann Imig - 2015
Based on the sensational national performance movement, Listen to Your Mother showcases the experiences of ordinary people of all racial, gender, and age backgrounds, from every corner of the country. This collection of essays celebrates and validates what it means to be a mother today, with honesty and candor that is arrestingly stimulating and refreshing. The stories are raw, honest, poignant, and sometimes raunchy, ranging from adoption, assimilation to emptying nests; first-time motherhood, foster-parenting, to infertility; single-parenting, LGBTQ parenting, to special-needs parenting; step-mothering; never mothering, to surrogacy; and mothering through illness to mothering through unsolicited advice. Honest, funny, and heart-wrenching, these personal stories are the collective voice of mothers among us. Whether you are one, have one, or know one, Listen to Your Mother is an emotional whirlwind that is guaranteed to entertain, amuse, and enlighten.
Sleep Is for the Weak: The Best of the Mommybloggers Including Amalah, Finslippy, Fussy, Woulda Coulda Shoulda, Mom-101, and More!
Rita Arens - 2008
Written to be read during the mind-bogglingly short breaks parents get during their busy days, these pieces will help moms find solace in a wide range of viewpoints and issues not often discussed in mainstream magazines and other parenting books. From dealing with rage to negotiating sleeping arrangements to the frustration and joy of parenting a special needs child, this is the perfect read for the hip but harried mother that says "you are still you."
Scrag - Up the Hill Backwards
Jesamine James - 2013
This is my story of how a paedophile entered my life, home and family when I was six years old.I highlight how he attempted to break my mind, soul and spirit for his total control over me, and how I fought for my sanity, survival and freedom against his evil and constant onslaught of abuse.I was Marie; now I'm Jes.“Even when I die, I'll come back to haunt you.”It's time for Jes to bury Marie's ghosts forever.Six-year-old Marie finds her world has changed and become one of confusion, deceit and abuse.No longer called by her birth name, she is unaffectionately referred to as Scrag - a shortened version of Scraggy-knickered-nut-rag.Her will to survive manifests quite bizarre tactics, as she deviates off course into a childhood of insanity, paranoia, glue-sniffing, self-harming and messages from David Bowie ringing through her ears.Her mind contrives strategies to cope with the continued onslaught that it seems destined to endure.Adulthood is her escape route if she can survive the wait, but can demons be truly locked away in the past forever?This is the story of one child's mind at the mercy of a real life monster.
Twirty-Something: A Young Woman's Guide to Giant Underwear
Ingrid Reinke - 2013
Twirty-Something: A Young Woman's Guide to Giant Underwear is a hilarious new Kindle Single from Award-Winning and Amazon Best-Selling author and humorist Ingrid Reinke.On the cold January day when Ingrid Reinke turned 30, she looked back upon the last decade of her life in deep thought before finally shaking her head and mumbling to herself the following insight: "Wow, what a shit show."So, she sat down, braless and alone, and penned a collection of laugh-out-loud essays about the ridiculous, shocking and occasionally horrifying things that happen to us as we ungracefully age from 20 to 30, try, semi-successfully, to leave our clueless years behind and become mature, responsible grown-up women.From weird hairs to boob sweat, OCD to weddings, Twirty-Something swings between a no-holds-barred conversation and a cautionary tale about aging and all the crap that comes along with it.Sometime instruction manual, sometime commiseration partner, get ready for Reinke's honest and occasionally potty-mouthed accounts of this tumultuous decade.So hike up your yoga pants, plop another ice cube in your Pinot Grigio and get ready to laugh at the author, young women in general, and most of all at yourself.
Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind
Nicole Knepper - 2013
Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts.Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.
People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
Jen Mann - 2014
Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book.
Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault
Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.
More Than a Woman
Caitlin Moran - 2020
Moran’s seminal book followed her from her terrible 13th birthday through adolescence, the workplace, strip-clubs, love, and beyond—and is considered the inaugural work of the irreverent confessional feminist memoir genre that continues to occupy a major place in the cultural landscape.Since that publication, it’s been a glorious ten years for young women: Barack Obama loves Fleabag, and Dior make “FEMINIST” t-shirts. However, middle-aged women still have some nagging, unanswered questions: Can feminists have Botox? Why isn’t there such a thing as “Mum Bod”? Why do hangovers suddenly hurt so much? Is the camel-toe the new erogenous zone? Why do all your clothes suddenly hate you? Has feminism gone too far? Will your To Do List ever end? And WHO’S LOOKING AFTER THE CHILDREN?As timely as it is hysterically funny, this memoir/manifesto will have readers laughing out loud, blinking back tears, and redefining their views on feminism and the patriarchy. More Than a Woman is a brutally honest, scathingly funny, and absolutely necessary take on the life of the modern woman—and one that only Caitlin Moran can provide.