Addicted to Perfect: A Journey Out of the Grips of Adderall


Vitale Buford - 2020
    We think that if we can achieve perfection, we will achieve happiness. We believe that if we can avoid pain, we can also avoid abandonment and loneliness and unworthiness. Perfection is the thief of joy. It’s a lie that keeps us in a stranglehold of chaos and people-pleasing and addiction and lack. Perfection says we are never good enough. It holds us back from being our truest, most authentic selves. Author Vitale Buford spent nearly three decades of her life in the web of perfection. The roots of her perfection were born in her childhood - she had a dysfunctional home-life fraught with alcoholism, workaholism and shame. This combination created an environment of neglect, where the only way Vitale got attention was to be perfect. She was praised for being an “easy child,” “pretty,” and “self-motivated,” so that’s what she tried to be. Her need for perfection and outside success was coupled with her body image obsession. It was also a distraction from the pain of abandonment and loneliness she experienced in her childhood. It was the perfect storm – she tied her self-worth to her external success and her appearance, and hence, her addiction to perfection was born. The need for perfection followed her to college, and when she started gaining weight, she became obsessed with dieting to make her body smaller and more acceptable. She worked hard in college and got good grades, but her body shame was all consuming. Her junior year of college, she was introduced to Adderall as a “study drug.” She used it for a few months – and ended up losing 20 pounds; she also got her best grades ever with her most rigorous course load. She was sure she had discovered the “perfect drug.” She was able to obtain her own prescription the following year. It hooked her immediately. She was addicted not only to Adderall but also to the perfection and the weight loss and her newfound ability to accomplish projects and tasks with ease. This was the beginning of a 10-year love affair with Adderall. In Addicted to Perfect, Vitale shares the highs and lows of having been a slave to Adderall, the destructive relationships that ensued, and the way that she finally broke free. She details the many twists and turns involved in the years leading up to her getting sober and the eating disorder that followed her into sobriety. It took parenthood and radical honesty for her to begin the road to true healing. Perfectionism is no longer something that enslaves her, and Vitale’s story is one of hope that no matter where you are in your life, you can release the grip of perfection. You can heal your pain and your abandonment and your loneliness and your fear and your guilt and your shame. You can experience true freedom, and most importantly, replace perfection with self-love.

True State Trooper Stories


Charles A. Black - 2016
    Sgt. Charles Black is a 35 year veteran of the Iowa State Patrol during those years he has had many experiences and he shares his favorites in this book. In 35 years I have seen a lot of changes from the name of the organization to the primary function. From hearses to ambulances to rescue units with EMT's. From paper list of stolen cars to computers.From no recorders to body cameras. From fist fights to gun fights.But human nature and the effects of drugs and alcohol remain the same.

Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget


Sarah Hepola - 2015
    She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened twenty-first-century woman. But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should have been. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy? She apologized for things she couldn't remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, Blackout is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure—the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most—but getting yourself back in return.

An Impossible Life: The Inspiring True Story of a Woman's Struggle from Within


Rachael Siddoway - 2019
    Wife of a CEO, mother of three, living in a beautiful suburb, Sonja’s life appears ideal. How did she get here?In a gripping and breathtaking narrative that makes the reader feel as though they are listening in on a private conversation, Sonja tells the compelling real account of her struggle with marriage, motherhood, and mental illness.An Impossible Life is an unforgettable true story of perseverance when all hope seems lost. Intriguing and heartfelt, Sonja’s personal account of her mental health journey shines a beacon of hope to all who feel overwhelmed by the specter of mental illness.

A Piece of Cake


Cupcake Brown - 2006
    But there comes a point in her preteen years - maybe it's the night she first tries to run away and is exposed to drugs, alcohol, and sex all at once - when Cupcake's story shifts from a tear-jerking tragedy to a dark, deeply disturbing journey through hell.Cupcake learned to survive by turning tricks, downing hard liquor and ingesting every drug she could find while hitchhiking up and down the California coast. At just 16 she stumbled into the terrifying world of the gangsta, dealing drugs, hustling and only just surviving a drive-by shooting. Ironically, it was Cupcake's rapid descent into the nightmare of crack cocaine addiction that finally saved her. After one four-day crack binge she woke up behind a dumpster. Half-dressed and half-dead, she finally realized she had to change her life or die on the streets - another trash-can addict, another sad statistic.Astonishingly, Cupcake turned her life around and this is her brutally frank, startlingly funny story. Unlike any memoir you will ever read, A Piece of Cake is a redemptive, gripping tale of a resilient spirit who took on the worst of contemporary urban life and survived it. It is also the most genuinely affecting rollercoaster ride through hell and back that you will ever take.

Chunk (Kindle Single)


Brian Donovan - 2015
    Chunk follows him along his crazy, overweight journey; from the chubby 10-year old who stole brownies and tricked his parents into thinking he’d lost weight, to the teenage boy who made regular after-school plans to eat entire pies, to the adult man who still hates working out and still loves Cinnabons. It’s a bracingly funny and delightfully uncomfortable collection of essays exploring food, fitness, and the funny things that happen when we try to slim down and grow up. Brian Donovan has written for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, National Public Radio, and, most recently, ABC’s The Neighbors. His work has also appeared on Chapelle’s Show, Funny or Die, and Off Broadway in New York City. His “Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters” is currently being developed for television. Cover design by Adil Dara.

To Heaven and Back: The Journey of a Roman Catholic Priest


John Tourangeau - 2015
    There was no immediate response on my part, only a deep sense of fear entombed by a completely paralyzed inner spirit. Much to my surprise, he spoke again: "Sir, you've waited too long to get here. You're not going to make it." And he continued: "If you believe in God, this is the time to make peace." In that very moment, I said to myself, "What do you mean, 'If you believe in God?' Of course I believe in God! I'm a man of faith and a Catholic priest!" Fr. John Tourangeau, O. Praem., a Norbertine priest who had an afterlife experience following a major heart attack, emphatically states, "Heaven is for real!" Within this enlightening and hope-filled book, Fr. John weaves a powerful and dynamic tapestry of the Kingdom of God at hand through the exploration of Christian tradition, Sacred Scripture, Catholic teaching, as well as his own lived experiences. "While the fullness of heaven cannot be fully experienced in our life here on earth," Father explains, "we are able to more fully experience God's love for us through our relationships with others. For it is in and through these relationships that we draw closer to Christ and his promise for us."

Exodus, Revisited: My Unorthodox Journey to Berlin


Deborah Feldman - 2021
    She was determined to find a better life for herself, away from the oppression and isolation of her Satmar upbringing in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. And in Exodus, Revisited she delves into what happened next--taking the reader on a journey that starts with her beginning life anew as a single mother, a religious refugee, and an independent woman in search of a place and a community where she can belong. Originally published in 2014, Deborah has now revisited and significantly expanded her story, and the result is greater insight into her quest to discover herself and the true meaning of home. Travels that start with making her way in New York expand into an exploration of America and eventually lead to trips across Europe to retrace her grandmother's life during the Holocaust, before she finds a landing place in the unlikeliest of cities. Exodus, Revisited is a deeply moving examination of the nature of memory and generational trauma, and of reconciliation with both yourself and the world.

Cry Purple


Christine McDonald - 2013
    She has survived brutality and discrimination with astonishing resilience and optimism. "Horrifying, heartbreaking, informative and inspiring." "A story from the heart...a riveting memoir." "An eye-opening view of life on the streets and beyond." "Cry Purple chronicles a shattered life, rebuilt through sheer determination, courage and faith." "The most inspiring story I've ever read. A must-read filled with hope."

Raising A Thief


Paul Podolsky - 2020
    

Spanish Journals - The Posthumous Diary of an Expat: Part One - Integration


A.R. Lowe - 2012
     Ernest Postlethwaite was a man embarking on a new life. No longer for him the routine and drudgery of the commuter... The first part of Ernest Postlethwaite's groundbreaking journal charters the course of a man on a mission to achieve cultural and linguistic integration in a small village in southern Spain. This unadulterated manuscript will bring tears to the eyes of the most hard-hearted amongst us, as we follow his footsteps into the great unknown. - 'This diary, written by my late husband, Ernest Postlethwaite, has been published expressly against his wishes, but with the full and hearty endorsement of my family and friends.' - From the introduction by Pamela Postlethwaite, Javea, Spain, December 2012 "I was captured from the first page. We've all come across expats like this, and Lowe brings together all the laughable elements into one hysterical character, Ernest. This parody of the expat diary genre had me laughing out loud. I can't wait for part two to come out. It reminded me most of Alan Ayckbourn plays in the 1980s (when I was a stage manager), and listening to the audiences leaving ... "Oh that ghastly character, wasn't he JUST like our neighbour / uncle / colleague?". They ALWAYS knew someone just like the dreadful people in the plays - they just never realised it was themselves. Let these posthumous "diaries" be a warning to expats everywhere - read it, enjoy it, and make sure it isn't about you!" - Tamara Essex review. ***** 'Part Two - Invasion' and 'Part Three - Consolidation' now available. ***** (This is a fictional diary.)

Jackasses of History: Bathroom Reader and Handy Manual of Unpleasant Trivia


Seann McAnally - 2018
    Norman Baker said that about his autobiography. Why? He was a jackass. In the pages of this book meet 20 losers, killers, confidence tricksters, and incompetents - the Jackasses of History. For adult readers.

Personality Disorders & Mental Illnesses: The Truth About Psychopaths, Sociopaths, and Narcissists (Personality Disorders, Mental Illnesses, Psychopaths, Sociopaths, Narcissists)


Clarence T. Rivers - 2014
     Today only, get this Amazon #1 bestseller for just $4.99. Regularly priced at $9.99. Read on your PC, Mac, Smartphone, Tablet, or Kindle device. Nowadays, people often use the term “psychopath” to refer to criminals and people with violent tendencies. However, this abusive use of the word has led people to believe that any two-bit criminal immediately falls under the psychopath category. Regardless of these misconceptions (or perhaps because of them), psychopathy is a fascinating subject for most people. This book aims to set the record straight, once and for all, about psychopathy and how exactly the mind of a psychopath works. Delve into the minds of the world’s most famous psychopaths and discover the twisted logic that makes them commit horrific crimes without showing any signs of remorse. Why do they enjoy inflicting pain and suffering on other people, without qualms or any twinges of conscience? Now, lets switch gears and explore Sociopathy. Is society to be blamed for the negative perception of sociopaths? As serial killers and notorious criminals in history prove sociopaths can be extremely dangerous individuals. Their presence itself is threatening and they must be dealt with great precaution. While they can be fearsome and their existence troubling, they do stir intrigue. We cannot help but wonder about their nature simply because they are different. They are far from normal. In reading this book, you have to keep this in mind: Sociopathy is defined as a syndrome that makes a person incapable to emotionally condition his social experiences. Sociopaths essentially lack the ability to emotionally organize. This is why they do not feel empathy and other feelings which are normal to other people. This segment has four main goals. One is to help you understand the condition beyond the textbook definition of sociopathy. Two, I hope that you can effectively utilize the information presented in this book to spread awareness and help prevent the number of children growing up to become sociopaths. Three, this book is for your own safety and protection. Finally, I’d like to discuss the growing epidemic of Narcissism with you. As you cross the street, you are highly likely to come across a narcissist, and this would only mean one thing: they are common. Of course, there are two sides of the same coin when it comes to this type of personality. This segment will provide you with all the information that you will ever need to understand narcissism and the narcissistic personality disorder. Here you be able to know how to identify someone who is a narcissist, read up on ideas about whether this is a good or a bad thing and how to control the self one is narcissistic. It is amazing what you can learn from the mind of a narcissist or others with a personality disorder or mental illness. You will find many new discoveries within yourself and society when you start reading this book! Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... Personality Disorders and Mental Illnesses Psychopathy Defined Personality Disorders and Psychopathy Crime and Psychopaths Psychopaths vs. Sociopaths Sociopath Defined The Goal of a Sociopath The Weaknesses of a Sociopath Dealing with a Sociopath Is there Hope for a Sociopath? Narcissism Defined The Narcissist in You The Narcissists of Today

Thin, and I


Andrijka Keller - 2018
    Her psychiatrist quickly prescribed her Prozac, to which she would eventually agree to. Shortly after, she was prescribed four more medications in hopes of 'curing' her. She believes it did the exact opposite. Andrijka's raw and edgy memoir takes the reader down a rabbit hole in a fast-paced, graphic, and darkly humorous depiction of recovery, self-acceptance, and what it means to be depressed as a modern teenager.

The Line, the Itch and the Rabbit Hole


David Jester - 2012
    A dark and funny memoir that chronicles a wide range of difficult experiences including Tourette's Syndrome, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dystonia, drugs (dealing and using) suicide attempts and a stay in a psychiatric hospital.