Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

    

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

     3k words, 6 color illustrations, perfect for emergent readers!

    In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

    Having longed for children since before she can remember, she was suddenly faced with an array of unfamiliar, unexpected and sometimes downright embarrassing emotional and physical reactions. And when Poppy (and a year later Daisy) was born she had to learn a whole new set of skills.From trying to conceive and a first positive pregnancy test to Poppy's first birthday, Minus Nine To One takes you through the worries, surprises, excitement, miracles and sheer bloody hard work that Jools - and all new mums in their own different ways - have to cope with along the way. As Jools writes, 'This certainly isn't meant to be read as a guidebook, or a medical reference book - it is simply my story and I hope that you can relate to it in some way (and maybe even relax with it in the bath!).'Down to earth, personal and very, very funny, this is the book no aspiring mother will want to be without.

     Let’s celebrate the joy of liking and loving who you are! I LIKE ME AND I LOVE ME is a rhyming children’s picture book focused on encouraging self-like, self-love and acceptance. The book’s main character is quirky, confident, loving, and is inspiring with their self-confidence. They examine conventional and non-conventional ways of being proud and accepting of yourself shown through beautiful water-colour images, and engaging rhyming text.

    The Runaway Mommy imagines what life would be like if she ran away. She learns flamenco dancing in Barcelona, joins a tech startup in San Francisco and hits the campaign trail interning for a presidential candidate. All the while, her little one follows with a captivating eagerness that brings the runaway mommy back where she belongs.

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

     But even in victory, the legacy of Obadiah Paine is not so easily washed away. His hidden lair yet remains, Dread Fortress Paine yet stands! Within it . . . none can be sure what monstrous acts are waiting to be uncovered or guess the number of Paine loyalists who linger. It falls on the shoulders of ESLED Strike Alpha to answer these questions and to seize Paine's hideout for the Elemental Learning Council. Led by spectromancer Ramses Lamprey, joined by civilian observer Tyson Bonnie, and aided by Council fixer Eva Reti, failure is not an option. This volume is a can't miss for Foul Mouth fans, acting as an action packed epilogue for "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" while priming many plot points for the next main volume and even those well beyond. Dread Fortress Paine must fall! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (released) Book 6.5 - "Assault on Dread Fortress Paine" (released) Book 6.75 - "The Glassbreaker Goes Home" (forthcoming) Book 7 - "The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble" (forthcoming)

    Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.

    Pranks both childish and reckless, nights of wild partying, a career repeatedly built and torn down, a roller-coaster love life, and risks you and I wouldn't dare to take: Papa CJ is able to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. And then destroy it. Only to rise again like a phoenix. As Papa CJ lays bare his life, from the streets of Calcutta to the University of Oxford and stages across the world, you will bask in nostalgia, laugh your guts out, feel your heart ache, and find a new lens with which to look at your own life. A lens that allows you, like Papa CJ, to always see the positive. And of course, the funny. Seize it. Enjoy it!

    

     When petty criminal, Cal Carver, is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals, and sent on a top secret mission for the President of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong... Featuring spaceships, spacemen, space battles, space spiders, and lots of space stuff in general, isn't it time you set (space) sail with Space Team? This box set collects books 4-6 in the bestselling adventures of Cal Carver and the crew of the dread ship Shatner, by multi-award-winning author, Barry J. Hutchison: Space Team: Song of the Space Siren Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan Space Team: Return of the Dead Guy

    Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! KINDLE UNLIMITED & AMAZON PRIME can read this book for FREE! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 100+ knock knock funny jokes Excellent for early and beginner readers Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults BONUS INCLUDED --> FREE Joke Book Download 101 Funny Jokes (see link inside) Download a free joke book with purchase of this book! From this Funny Joke Book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Bless!Bless who?I didn’t sneeze! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Auntie!Auntie who?Auntie glad to see me again! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Zeke!Zeke who?Zeke and ye shall find! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Arnie!Arnie who!Arnie having fun? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Carl!Carl who?Carl get you there faster than walking will! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny knock knock jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, knock knock book, ebook, books, funny, knock knock jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, funny knock knock jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, joke, jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for children, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, funny jokes, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, ages5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, comedy, humor, preteen, young adult laughing, kids comedy