“You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.” Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it. “Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.” Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like… “I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!” You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs! “Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”

    What this book lacks in length, it more than makes up for with ersatz knowledgeability and diagrams. Particularly helpful for guys who have just come out of a long term relationship - but also universally applicable.

    Funny jokes, Knock Knock jokes, Kids Jokes.Jokes for Kids, Best Joke Book for Kids is styled for as kids grow older they find certain jokes less and less funny. This means you have to come up with age appropriate jokes to keep them entertained. Jokes are more than just for laughs. They also stimulate thought and educate. That does not mean you go stiff on the kids, far from it. You want jokes that are funny, corny and have some substance. Usually the really good jokes will give even you the tickles.Kids jokes, with over 200 funny jokes, this will keep the kids, and adult laughing for some time.

    Contains all 8 episodes of the international sensation THE INCIDENT, a Sam Jameson Serial Thriller. Where do you run when even the good guys want you dead? Special Agent Sam Jameson is having a bad week. People are trying to kill her.
 
That would be business as usual in the counterespionage world, except that it’s the good guys who have her in the crosshairs. Why are the DC Metro police trying to kidnap her? Do her bosses at Homeland want her in a body bag, too? And why does everyone she talks to seem to end up in the morgue? Will a ruthless mercenary, a hapless American traitor, and a dead man’s cryptic clue hold the key to Sam’s survival? As the noose tightens around her neck, Sam must uncover a brutal and deadly conspiracy before she becomes its next victim. Interview with author Lars Emmerich Q - So, what makes the Special Agent Sam Jameson series special? A - It's a mix of things, really. When I set out to write these books, I wanted to create something that mirrored exactly the kind of books I like to read. My top picks are usually espionage and private detective novels, any of the thousands of thrillers and mysteries best sellers, and, of course, books featuring classic pulp heroes. I also like heroes with problems and villains who are frighteningly human, maybe a little too much like us. The Sam Jameson books are a mix of these genres. The series focuses on the mystery and thriller / espionage genre overall, with a couple of themes borrowed from financial thrillers thrown in for good measure, a healthy dose of the stuff that makes political thrillers great, and a serial killer novel or two to keep things interesting. Why such a mixing of themes? Because life isn't monolithic and book genres are arbitrary. There's murder in spy novels and there's espionage in political conspiracy thrillers. Overall, the Sam Jameson series is designed to keep you turning the pages. I've done my best to make sure there's never a dull moment, and I think Sam's chutzpah and attitude makes for good entertainment. But I'm probably a little biased. Q - What order should I read the books in? A - I’ve written the series so you can read the books in any order, and all the story threads will tie up nicely by the time you're finished. The Incident is a standalone story, and it occurs before the Devolution series. If you do want to read them in order, I'd suggest the following sequence: - The Incident Season 1 - The Incident Season 2 - Devolution - Meltdown - Mindscrew - Balls Deep (A Peter Kittredge espionage and suspense thriller) Q - So, why should readers give these books a try? A - Because the Sam Jameson series is a fast, fun thrill-ride that never lets up! Each of the books has hit the top ten bestsellers list on Kindle for Women Sleuths, and each have been featured on Amazon's Thrillers 100 Must Reads list - which is no mean feat. Ultimately, readers who enjoy a blazing pace, characters with depth and distinctive voices, and a plot that twists and turns all the way to the end will enjoy this series.

    54 pages of summaries and analysis on Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    As her full-time carer, Tottie listened to daily recitations of her favourite saying: 'Mother, mother, it's a bugger, sell the pig and buy me out.” Catch up now with Tottie in the AM years – After Mother – as she starts her new life in the rural Livradois-Forez region of the Auvergne, living in Tottie's Grottage. Meet the local inhabitants, from exotic birds to colourful characters like the Bin Pickers, Library Lady and the Bowing Farmer. All are described with Tottie's familiar gently ironic humour. Discover the procedure behind the Frogification of Tottie, and if her bid for French nationality is successful. 'Mother Was It Worth It?' is the concluding part of the Sell the Pig series, which began with 'Sell the Pig' and 'Is That Billinge Lump?'

    Drop him into a ghastly Kenya prep school in the middle of Rider Haggard country. A school where cricketing news comes by carrier pigeon, leopards are assaulted with a red-hot poker, and runaway boys are hunted down with spearmen and a pack of foxhounds... For Martin Riddle, the experience is unforgettable. For the riding mistress, Lady Bullivant, it is all part of the day's work. And for the headmaster, a disreputable ex-Guards officer, it is simply a means of staving off bankruptcy for a few more weeks. As for the Masai, tennis may be on the curriculum at Haggard Hall, but midnight meetings with naked warriors definitely are not! 'The funniest book I have read since David Lodge's Small World' - Sunday Times 'Wickedly funny' - Daily Mail 'Less savage than Evelyn Waugh, Best is every bit as sharp... an immensely enjoyable book' - Evening Standard 'Very good entertainment' - Sir Alec Guinness (Sunday Times book of the year) Nicholas Best's books have been translated into many languages. He was the Financial Times's fiction critic for ten years and was long-listed in 2010 for the Sunday Times-EFG Bank 30,000 award, the biggest short story prize in the world. For more details, see www.nicholasbest.co.uk

    Because if you do, you may find out what happens when a former cop with a gun and nothing to lose decides to push back

    Slump and one of the strangest places on Earth!

     Bedlam, is the first of four books in the hysterically funny series, “Diary of a Stressed Out Mother”. Dora Loveday (harassed mother of four kids, two unruly dogs, and a psychotic cat), records the daily chaos and madness of her family life in this laugh-out-loud, comic romp of a diary!

    It may be gross, but kids love this stuff, and that's the point! I originally wrote this book for my son, a first grader, who was struggling with sight words and reading speed. The sight word books, decodable word books, early reader books, and flash cards they offered him at school were boring, which made it a challenge to get him excited about reading. So I decided to write a series of children's books using sight words but with stories about the things I heard him and his friends laughing about. It worked! My son was able to read my Billy Bad sight word stories with speed and confidence. And because he was laughing I knew his reading comprehension was improving. This book is written using mostly Dolch sight words and a few other words that are easily decodable. Unlike most sight word books and decodable word books, Billy Bad's sight word books have stories that will capture the attention of early readers and make them laugh. When kids enjoy the stories they read they fall in love with reading. I hope your child enjoys these silly (and gross) sight word books as much as my son does.

    His wife Helen feels isolated in their large suburban home where her social life has all but disappeared as a result of their life long friends relocating to various retirement communities around the country. Mike is dead set against such a move, viewing it as a giant step closer to the grave. Mike and Helen struggle to come to a mutually agreeable solution spending countless hours visiting one retirement community after another. Their journey takes them from Connecticut to Florida and numerous stops in between. You guessed it. Mike finds objections everywhere and voices them non-stop to every sales agent. Then out of the blue all their plans take an unexpected turn.

     After seven years of self-imposed exile after the love of her life cheated on her, Becca is finally going home. She’d like to think she’s being brave but in her honest moments she knows she’s being forced into it by the loss of her job. Can she trust herself not to hunt down her cheating ex and fling herself into his arms? Will she ever find the true love that she yearns for? Finding the perfect home with a hot but unavailable landlord and a life far better than she could have hoped for, Becca is still plagued by self-doubt. Is she annoying? Is she the most accident prone person in the world? Is she dislikeable? She thinks she might be all of these, but most importantly, is she normal? Because normal people don’t have The Beccabird squawking in their ears...

    But by day Gerry is Gerrard, who is not only married, he’s a vicar. A vicar with doubts. Although Lucinda, his wife, has very few doubts when a trip to Birmingham goes startlingly right. And ageing gigolo Nelson never sees himself as a messiah until Albert convinces him he can walk on water – or is that just revenge for Nelson having put his head down the toilet at school? Does Gerrard really witness the Second Coming? Will Lucinda’s American prove himself in Hong Kong? And will the Late Contessa ever retrieve her Bentley?Find out in Giles Curtis’s twelfth rip-roaring, hilarious romp through the intricacies of fidelity, faith and epiphanies.

    You are clearly a fan of this legendary game that goes by the name of MINECRAFT! I encourage you to take a leap of faith and download this great and funny comedy book, which You wont regret! “MINECRAFT: Funny clean Minecraft jokes and memes for Children. (Minecraft, Minecraft Secrets, Minecraft Stories, Minecraft Books For Kids, Minecraft Books, Minecraft Comics, Minecraft Xbox)” is a great choice for anyone with a sense of humor, especially a fan of this great and iconic game! You will find great PICTURES with funny memes, hilarious jokes and wise quotes all in one place Let the laughs begin…