Laid Bare


Jesse Fink - 2012
    Add to cart now and you can thank me later.'TIM ROSS ('ROSSO')LAID BARE is Jesse Fink’s startlingly honest, deeply personal account of emotional and mental oblivion after divorce, interwoven with his experiences as an accidental ‘player’ in a world where dating is a blood sport and finding a true connection is harder than ever because of the distractions provided by technology.It doesn’t shy away from self-exposition, discussion of taboo subjects and what men really think about women, marriage and relationships.But at the heart of this extraordinary book is how Fink, then a single father whose personal and professional life was falling apart, maintained and repaired his relationship with his now-teenage daughter, Evie. LAID BARE is one man’s view of love as he tries to figure out what it all means while searching for ‘The One’.‘X-rated, honest and compelling, this is a must-read.’MEN'S HEALTH‘A great read. Go out there and get it, especially if you are a newly single dad as well. It might teach you a thing or two about what to do and what not to do.’DAVID CAMPBELL‘If you’ve had your heart broken/been on the dating scene/had sex, read Laid Bare. Unputdownable.’KERRI SACKVILLE'An unputdownable read. Essential for every man, post separation, nearing separation, in the event of separation, or just anyone who wants the warts and all insights into an unpredictable voyage you never knew you needed before you could come out the other side. Women who want to understand the male psyche should also read this book. For me, it was astonishingly close to the bone from what I hear from men so frequently. If you're up for honesty, rawness and real life, get yourself a copy.'JASMIN NEWMAN, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS COACH, RELATING TO MEN‘An extraordinary depiction of how sex, even too much sex, can be a normal and healthy part of coping and grief in the life of a man.’DR DAVID LEY, AUTHOR, THE MYTH OF SEX ADDICTION‘An excellent writer and storyteller … compelling reading. Fink’s honesty is admirable, his story bittersweet and his experiences will make the reader squirm.’ DAILY TELEGRAPH ‘One notable exception [to the string of unsatisfying books and articles about sex in the digital age] was Jesse Fink’s harrowing memoir, Laid Bare, in which he chronicled his sex-addled online dating adventures as a newly single father. The difference was Fink readily admitted he behaved as a ruthless cad towards the women he met and his self-loathing gave his book an authenticity sorely lacking in similar works.’SYDNEY MORNING HERALD‘A balls-and-all account of a bloke using extreme physical activity to try to mend a broken heart. Fink opens his deep wounds for inspection, his engaging style pitch perfect to document both his foolhardy actions and his extreme vulnerability.’TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN‘Like Penthouse Letters with post-orgasmic guilt … one man’s journey into the “gratification now” of the internet while slowly accepting his complicity in his divorce, before his sanity is salvaged by the unconditional love of his daughter. An engrossing read.’ HERALD SUN‘A great book.’PENTHOUSE‘Fink’s brutally honest, tell-all memoir about his adventures in online dating is worth reading as much for his personal journey from committed family man to ruthless cad to devoted dad as for the missives it issues from the frontlines of modern love … Laid Bare doesn’t just chronicle Fink’s post-divorce “festival of sexual bounty”, but also offers some incisive commentary on modern life – including the observation that there are serious pitfalls to having too much choice.’THE DRUM (ABC)‘Laid Bare might be a story of the apocalypse of and after divorce, but it’s still applicable to the broader male experience, especially as modern man sinks further into the Internet Age.’CAIRNS POST

Overcoming Emotions That Destroy: Practical Help for Those Angry Feelings That Ruin Relationships


Chip Ingram - 2009
    The broken and stressed relationships that result from these feelings can overwhelm us. But now there's help. Well-known teacher and speaker Chip Ingram teams up with psychologist and author Dr. Becca Johnson in this encouraging and practical book, showing how many emotions lead to anger, and many emotions follow from it. Their message is clear: as we deal with our anger, we deal with the primary cause for all emotions that destroy. Ingram and Johnson help readers identify whether they are spewers, leakers, or stuffers. Readers also learn the difference between good and bad anger, how to gain control of their anger, and how to direct it toward constructive ends. The authors cover solid biblical principles as well as the psychological aspects of our emotions, showing readers how they can actually be a constructive tool used by God to transform lives and relationships. Counselors, pastors, and individual Christians will find this book a no-nonsense tool for handling destructive emotions in a healthy way.

Healing the Shame that Binds You


John Bradshaw - 1988
    The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed.” Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures. Key Features This is not just a recovery book. Among other things, it is a classic book on identifying and working through unresolved family issues. Includes affirmations, visualizations, inner voice and feeling exercises. Strong supporting studies make this a popular book with counselors and other professionals. Completely updated and revised

The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships


Suzanne Stabile - 2018
    And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others—and in ourselves.This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others' personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships. No one is better equipped than Suzanne Stabile, coauthor, with Ian Morgan Cron, of The Road Back to You, to share the Enneagram's wisdom on how relationships work—or don’t.• Why do Sixes seem so intimidated and put off by Eights, who only wish the Sixes would stop mulling things over and take action?• Why do Fives seem so unavailable, even to their closest family and friends, while Twos seem to feel everybody else’s feelings but their own and end up irritating people who don’t want their help?• How in the world can Fours be so open and loving to you one day and restrained and distant other times?The Enneagram not only answers these questions but gives us a way out of our usual finger pointing and judging of other people—and finding them wanting, perplexing, or impossible. Suzanne's generous, sometimes humorous, and always insightful approach reveals why all the types behave as they do. This book offers help in fostering more loving, mature, and compassionate relationships with everyone in our lives.

Will Our Love Last?: A Couple's Road Map


Sam R. Hamburg - 2000
    In this unconventional guide, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how to eliminate the guesswork and pick the right romantic partner. Basing his findings on hundreds of cases in his twenty-five years as a marital therapist and thirty years in his own marriage, Dr. Hamburg shows that in the best unions partners are deeply compatible in all areas -- from sex to daily decision making to beliefs about life. With an innovative approach, Dr. Hamburg guides couples in understanding how compatible they are in each dimension and he empowers them to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Written in a clear and direct style, Will Our Love Last? teaches couples at any stage of commitment how to avoid mistakes and find lasting love.

Parenting Your Asperger Child: Individualized Solutions for Teaching Your Child Practical Skills


Alan Sohn - 2005
    Alan Sohn's and Cathy Grayson's groundbreaking Cognitive Social Integration Therapy (CSIT) offers practical solutions that help parents prepare their children for a fulfilling life of social interaction outside the confines of their syndrome, addressing such topics as:- The six characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome- How to identify a child's type of Asperger's--and the best approaches for dealing with it- Understanding how an Asperger's child sees and interprets the world- Replacing inappropriate coping techniques with productive skills- How to survive and learn from a crisis- How school programs can aid in teaching Asperger children - Making changes that last

Understanding Panic Attacks and Overcoming Fear


Roger Baker - 1995
    This highly authoritative yet practical book helps the reader towards an in-depth understanding of panic. It is essential reading for sufferers, their friends, and family. In clear and concise language it describes a psychological self-help program for panic sufferers.

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It


Leslie Vernick - 2007
    Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to:Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurtConfront and speak truth when the timing is rightDetermine when to keep trying, when to get outGet safe and stay safeBuild an identity in ChristThis practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God's perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.

Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner


Jeb Kinnison - 2014
     If you were brought up in the Western world, you’ve been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We’ll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. If you’re young and just starting to look for a partner, good news—the world is swarming with well-adjusted, charming matches for you, if you know how to recognize them. The bad news: you are inexperienced and you may not recognize the right type of person when you date them. Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you’ve identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don’t make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger. If you’re older, bad news: while you were spending time and effort on relationships you were hoping would turn out better, or even happily nestled in a good relationship or two, most of the secure, reliable, sane people in your age group got paired off. They’re married or happily enfamilied, and most of the people your age in the dating pool are tragically unable to form a good long-term relationship. You should always ask yourself, “why is this one still available?”—there may be a good answer (recently widowed or left a long-term relationship), or it may be that this person has just been extraordinarily unlucky in having over twenty short relationships in twenty years (to cite one case!) But it’s far more likely you have met someone with a problematic attachment style. As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%[1]; and since it can take months of dating to understand why Mr. or Ms. SeemsNice is really the future ex-partner from Hell, being able to recognize the difficult types will help you recognize them faster and move on to the next. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too.

The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control and Becoming Whole


Arielle Schwartz - 2017
    Though untrue, such beliefs can feel extremely real and frightening. Difficult as it may be, facing one’s PTSD from unresolved childhood trauma is a brave, courageous act—and with the right guidance, healing from PTSD is possible. Clinical psychologist Dr. Arielle Schwartz has spent years helping those with C-PTSD find their way to wholeness. She also knows the territory of the healing firsthand, having walked it herself. This book provides a map to the complicated, and often overwhelming, terrain of C-PTSD with Dr. Schwartz’s knowledgeable guidance helping you find your way. In The Complex PTSD Workbook, you’ll learn all about C-PTSD and gain valuable insight into the types of symptoms associated with unresolved childhood trauma, while applying a strength-based perspective to integrate positive beliefs and behaviors. Useful features of The Complex PTSD Workbook include: Examples and exercises through which you’ll discover your own instances of trauma through relating to PTSD experiences other than your own, such as the following: [Example] Diane was very skilled at avoiding dealing with her traumatic past. To survive, she had learned to bury her painful feelings and memories, preferring not to talk about her childhood. It simply hurt too much. [Exercise] In what ways can you relate to Diane’s story? Take some time to write down any associations you have. Information about common PTSD misdiagnoses such as bipolar disorder, ADHD, anxiety disorders, major depressive disorder, and substance abuse, among others. Explorations of common methods of PTSD therapy including somatic therapy, EMDR, CBT, DBT, and mind-body perspectives. Chapter takeaways that encourage thoughtful consideration and writing to explore how you feel as you review the material presented in relation to your PTSD symptoms. The Complex PTSD Workbook aims to empower you with a thorough understanding of the psychology and physiology of C-PTSD so you can make informed choices about the path to healing that is right for you and discover a life of wellness, free of C-PTSD, that used to seem just out of reach.

Turnaround Tools for the Teenage Brain: Helping Underperforming Students Become Lifelong Learners


Eric Jensen - 2013
    The latest research shows not only that brains can change, but that teachers and other providers have the power to boost students' effort, focus, attitude, and even IQs. In this book bestselling author Eric Jensen and co-author Carole Snider offer teacher-friendly strategies to ensure that all students graduate, become lifelong learners, and ultimately be successful in school and life. Drawing on cutting-edge science, this breakthrough book reveals core tools to increase student effort, build attitudes, and improve behaviors.Practical, teacher-tested, and research-supported strategies that will empower educators to make lasting and rapid changes Powerful academic evidence showing that every teacher can make a significant--and lasting--difference in student effort, behavior, attitude, and achievement Specific tools for making and managing the student's goal-seeking process and helping to develop a winner's mindset From the very first chapter, educators will learn how to help their struggling students become excited, lifelong learners. Eric Jensen is a noted authority on brain-based learning and student engagement. Carole Snider is an expert in both adolescent success and adult learning.

Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed


Wendy T. Behary - 2008
    So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them.Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction.Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

Surviving Ophelia: Mothers Share Their Wisdom in Navigating the Tumultuous Teenage Years


Cheryl Dellasega - 2001
    From handling the often delicate situations surrounding academic performance, athletics, friendships, sexual activity, and drug and alcohol experimentation to instilling (or restoring) a healthy body image and providing a strong role model, mothers often feel alone in their struggle to find ways of coping with all that they must do for their daughters. To provide the community that these women so desperately crave-and all that comes with it: the guidance, the solace, the inspiration, and the hope -Cheryl Dellasega has written Surviving Ophelia, a book of profound wisdom and compassion. Dellasega's own story of raising her teenage daughters is punctuated by the collective experience of hundreds of other mothers, from all walks of life, who have been there or are there, in the trenches, experiencing and chronicling the daily joys and trials of raising their teenage girl. Enlightening, heartfelt, and hopeful, Surviving Ophelia is a must-read for "Ophelia's mother."To find [this book] is like an answer to a prayer. I've had a hard time finding someone who understands what I'm going through, and knows the kind of pain a mother feels when her child is hurting herself."-Jane, Reno, Nevada"This is for all the mothers who sat at coffee break with their peers passing pleasantries while trying to sedate their feelings…[of] anger, rage, disappointment (sadness)…. While they share information on Ivy League colleges their children will be attending in the fall, I just pray that my daughter stays alive."-Lori, Detroit, Michigan"The realization stung me as if I'd been slapped hard across my face: I'd been betrayed. My seventeen-year-old daughter Sara had lied to me, and, in needing to believe her, I lied to myself."-Amanda, Albany, New York"It's always assumed you want your kids to walk in your footsteps. For me, it's the last thing I wanted. I raised my girls to be everything I was not: outgoing, brave, bold, and independent."-Sandra, Marblehead, Massachusetts"As the mother of an anorexic, I have spent the past four years reliving the choices I have made in my life, searching to find the cause of my daughter's life-threatening illness."-Carolyn, Amherst, Massachusetts

Easy Ego State Interventions: Strategies for Working With Parts


Robin Shapiro - 2015
    “Ego state therapy” refers to a powerful, flexible therapy that helps clients integrate and reconcile these distinct aspects of themselves.This book offers a grab bag of ego state interventions—simple, practical techniques for a range of client issues—that any therapist can incorporate in his or her practice. In her characteristic wise, compassionate, and user-friendly writing style, Robin Shapiro explains what ego states are, how to access them in clients, and how to use them for a variety of treatment issues. After covering foundational interventions for accessing positive adult states, creating internal caregivers, and working with infant and child states in Part I: Getting Started With Ego State Work, Shapiro walks readers step-by-step through a variety of specific interventions for specific problems, each ready for immediate application with clients. Part II: Problem-Specific Interventions includes chapters devoted to working with trauma, relationship challenges, personality disorders, suicidal ideation, and more.Ego state work blends easily, and often seamlessly, with most other modalities. The powerful techniques and interventions in this book can be used alone or combined with other therapies. They are suitable for garden-variety clients with normal developmental issues like self-care challenges, depression, grief, anxiety, and differentiation from families and peer groups. Many of the interventions included in this book are also effective with clients across the dissociation spectrum—dissociation is a condition particularly well suited to ego state work—including clients who suffer trauma and complex trauma. Rich with case examples, this book is both a pragmatic introduction for clinicians who have never before utilized parts work and a trove of proven interventions for experienced hands to add to their therapeutic toolbox. Welcome to a powerful, flexible resource to help even the most difficult clients build a sense of themselves as adult, loveable, worthwhile, and competent.

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls


Rachel Simmons - 2002
    With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.