This crafty revision of English vocabulary posits that Platypus should signify “to give your cat pigtails;” that Flemish should mean “rather like snot;” and that Celtic is in fact a prison for fleas. With nearly 600 new definitions, this side-splitting resource pushes the boundaries of the English language to riotous new limits.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    One minute we were living life and doing our thing, the next, most of us were advised to stay at home for a month or more.

    This is a book about surviving it." I felt like a babyless freak. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant, even after standing on my head after sex. I was pretty sure I was the only woman on the planet going through infertility, certainly the only one jamming needles into my butt on commercial breaks during my favorite TV shows. Everyone was getting pregnant around me and no one was talking about what happened if you couldn’t. After my experience, I wanted to write a book for other infertile women and couples who feel alone, the book I wish I’d had when I was going through it, filled with dark humor and illustrations of quirky ovaries and whimsical sperm. If you’re like me, you want blunt, honest conversations about all the crazy stuff you’re going through with someone who’s been there and understands at least some of what you’re dealing with and how you’re feeling. And if it can somehow give you permission to laugh without diminishing the pain you’re feeling? Even better. This is the funnest book you’ll ever read about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Each chapter covers a different challenge with infertility and is broken into sections, a little of my story and concerns, a blurb from my husband, Alex, kind of a window into his dudely brain, and practical tips on how to cope. Read it yourself, read it as a couple, and if you’re struggling to explain your feelings to friends and family, hurl a copy at them and run away. I really wish you didn’t need this book, but since you do, come on over. You’re not alone.

    Byrne’s own wit, diligent research, and creativity combine to form a fresh go-to reference that serves readers better than Google—no Wi-Fi required. The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said is an all-new collection of clever quips and laugh-out-loud punch lines from Gracie Allen to Frank Zappa, on such topics as sex, divorce, religion, fashion, animals, and money: STEVE MARTIN: “I’d do anything for a good body except exercise and eat right.” JON STEWART: “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” NORA EPHRON: “Successful parents have adult children who can pay for their own psychoanalysis.” This compilation, to be enjoyed by generations young and old, deserves a place of honor on every language lover’s bookshelf.

    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.

    

    Jakes challenges the faithful to be more effective in earning their livelihoods by providing a diverse range of strategies that will turn their work life into an abundant life. While focusing on his core mission to preach the gospel worldwide, T.D. Jakes has seen many good people not spend enough quality time with family, friends, and God. They have gotten so swept up in the daily grind that they have failed to live the rich life that God desires for each of His people. In his new book, Jakes provides readers with strategies that will help them rejuvenate their life and turn their "busyness" into a "business." All readers-not just entrepreneurs-will benefit from Jakes' insightful advice so that they can use the days God has blessed them with wisely and finish each day strong!

    As a result of this, more and more people every day are searching for Information relating to this condition.It can be very confusing when a person is first diagnosed.I know that is true, because I am type 2 myself.If you DO find that your glucometer readings are a bit high, don't panic - stress causes the body to release hormones which further aggravate the situation.Just keep calm and snack on these super foods to lower your blood sugar levels quickly!

    

    Powers, a self-described self-reflection junkie, challenges readers to create a more joyful life by using an easily adapted process outlined in Oh shift! Drawing on her New Jersey upbringing, Powers couples a provocative approach with fearless humor and wit to provide readers with the inspiration to become true shift heads. Powers shares both personal vignettes and client success stories to drive the Oh, shift! message home and to showcase the benefits of shifting in today's world. Chapters aptly titled to fit the Oh, shift! message include: Shift or get off the pot, Why take a shift?, Shift happens, The f'n shift, Let's shoot the shift, Scared shiftless and many more. This is not your everyday self-help book. The title may be funny, but the content is powerfully life-changing. The book utilizes a specially designed layout to emphasize important points and to make it a quick and enjoyable read. It guarantees to get the reader totally shift-faced.

    With the appearance of one little extra line on a pregnancy test, you're thrown into a world of covering up leaks on shirts and taking a pacifier away from a two-year-old who has the grip of a pit bull.In this funny, smart, and honest book, Jane Buckingham cuts through the clutter to give you simple information and practical advice for navigating the different stages of motherhood. From how to get your child to sleep and how to wean, to how to get him off the pacifier and how to stop his tantrums, this book will help moms feel in the know and in control! Some of Buckingham's favorite tips:If your baby has a hard time feeding because of a stuffy nose, turn on the shower to steam up the bathroom and feed her there.Put your children's paints in an empty egg carton -- it's the perfect size, and there's no mess to clean up when you're done. Use an old raincoat with the arms cut off as a smock.You should buy a new car seat, rather than borrowing a friend's old car seat, as there are constant safety upgrades. Also, be sure you are the person registered to that car seat (send in that registration card!) so that you'll be notified in case of a recall.Keep the three-day rule in mind: Almost any bad habit can be broken in three days. Granted, they may be tough, torturous days, but you can do it!The Modern Girl's Guide to Motherhood helps modern moms do it all with love, style, and flair!

    Why else would you be looking at this book? If you have ever wanted to see behind the front lines of retail, this is the book for you. If you want to validate your own experiences in retail, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh at humorous things from funny people, this is the book for you. Packed full of true short stories from working in one of these super stores, only one conclusion can be reached in the end: Wal-Mart is the craziest place on Earth!

    After the huge success of the first 100 Quotes to think about, here is a follow up with 100 more quotes to change your life.