Target Underwear and a Vera Wang Gown: Notes from a Single Girl's Closet


Adena Halpern - 2006
    Tucked inside the fibers and buttons and pockets of the clothing in our closets are the stories of our lives, the lessons we've learned, the people we've loved. Like so many of us, Adena Halpern has used clothes to conform, to seduce, to console, to show off, and to hide. Her ability to relate fashion to her inner life in a way that is about so much more than just the clothes has endeared her to many readers, one of whom called her the real-life Carrie Bradshaw.But fashionista, she's not. Adena is: every teenage girl who had to have what all the other girls had, whether it looked good on her or not; the college coed who swooned for the boy in the leather jacket; the heartbroken young woman who chose a rebound dress over a rebound man; the woman who is forty-five minutes late to work because she has a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. She is a lover of clothes and shopping whose passionate memories are always tied to not only the clothes that she wore, but to what everyone else was wearing, too. This is the affectionate and funny story of Adena's life, an unconventional love story that readers will want to share. You will never look at your own wardrobe the same way again.

How to be Champion


Sarah Millican - 2017
    If you haven't done those things but wish you had, This Is Your Book. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, This Is Your Book.

Very Bad Poetry


Kathryn Petras - 1997
    Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence.The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy," they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).

A Book Of Bits Or A Bit Of A Book


Spike Milligan - 1965
    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

Philadelphia Chickens


Sandra Boynton - 1904
    And even then, it may take a while. Grammy nominee. #1 New York Times bestseller. And, with 1 million copies in print, a Recording Industry Association of America Platinum album. What an event! What a show! It’s Philadelphia Chickens—the catchy and quirky, tuneful and toe-tapping, exuberant, unexpected, and totally endearing family-musical-in-a-book.Here is a full-color songbook of 17 1/2 illustrated story-poems, and a full-length, fully orchestrated CD of original songs performed by such luminaries as Patti LuPone, Kevin Kline, Meryl Streep, The Bacon Brothers, and Laura Linney, who pleads "Please, Can I Keep It?—it followed me home. / What exactly it is/ I don't know." Also joining in are Eric Stoltz, Scott Bakula, and two Boyntons, including daughter Caitlin McEwan, who performs a piece that every little listener will relate to—a love song to the chocolate chip cookies that are just out of reach. With the collaboration of composer Michael Ford, Philadelphia Chickens is that rarest of kids' musical discs—one whose inimitable lyrics and music make it as irresistible to parents as it is to their children.

The Audacity of Hype


Armando Iannucci - 2009
    THE AUDACITY OF HYPE brings together his views on diverse subjects, ranging from wickedly funny pen portraits of the sometimes loveable, usually despicable chumps who like to think of themselves as our political elite, and their bonkers schemes to save the world that are in fact likely to do us more harm than a pile of witches, to WMD, disaster movies, the pitfalls of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' and the high and mighty rhetoric of Obama, this is an absurdly entertaining and utterly indispensable collection from one of Britain's most brilliant satirists.

WTF?: How to Survive 101 of Life's Worst F*#!-ing Situations


Gregory Bergman - 2008
    You go to save the presentation that's taken you all week to complete—only to discover it's corrupt. Your bank slaps you with a $25 charge for overdrafting 25 cents… And all you can think is…WTF?Luckily for you, this book fills in the blanks and gives you humorous ideas for what to do when life makes them say, "what the f*#!?" Step by step, the authors take readers through inventively therapeutic, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions to life's many problematic situations.Whether it happens at the office or at home, out on the town or in the bedroom, life's most f*#!'ed-up situations are covered in this entertaining guide. Rather than turn lemons into lemonade, this book spits lemon juice into life's eye and gives it a good kick to the junk.

Happiness: Your Route-Map to Inner Joy


Andy Cope - 2017
    This funny, practical book by Andy Cope, the Dr of Happiness, will show you how to transform your thinking, change gear and find a fresh new perspective that will leave you better focused on the things that matter, healthier and a great deal happier.ABOUT THIS SERIESLittle Books are accessible and engaging books with a focus on personal development and business topics, delivering quick, outcome-focused results, ideal for self-improvement junkies, commuters, or business readers.

Under the Duvet: Shoes, Reviews, Having the Blues, Builders, Babies, Families and Other Calamities


Marian Keyes - 2001
    These are her collected pieces: regular bulletins from the woman writing under the covers.Marian loves shoes and her LTFs (Long-Term Friends), hates realtors and lost luggage, and she once had a Christmas office party that involved roasting two sheep on a spit, Moroccan-style. She's just like you and me ...Featuring a wide compilation of Marian's journalism from magazines and newspapers, plus some exclusive, previously unpublished material, Under the Duvet is bursting with funny stories: observations on life, in-laws, weight loss, parties and driving lessons that will keep you utterly gripped -- either wincing with recognition or roaring with laughter.

The Wicked Wit of Oscar Wilde Centenary Edition


Maria Leach - 2000
    

The Douche Journals: The Definitive Account of One Man's Genius


Allan H. Schmidt - 2012
    . . and The Douchebag Jar.Originally devised to do nothing more than alter Schmidt's wardrobe, hairstyle, and personality, the Douchebag Jar has become an apartment-wide phenomenon, forever changing the way douche-like behavior is viewed, policed, and penalized.Compiled and annotated by Schmidt himself, The Douche Journals catalogs the jar's first years in existence. Every jar-worthy outfit, faux pas, and innuendo is captured exquisitely and for all time, transporting fans and scholars alike into the inner orbit of a master douche at the height of his powers. Comprehensive, unflinching, and fully illustrated, The Douche Journals delves deep into the annals of douchery.

The Real Book - Volume I - Sixth Edition: C Edition


Hal Leonard Corporation - 2004
    The Real Books are the best-selling jazz books of all time. Since the 1970s, musicians have trusted these volumes to get them through every gig, night after night. The problem is that the books were illegally produced and distributed, without any regard to copyright law, or royalties paid to the composers who created these musical masterpieces. Hal Leonard is very proud to present the first legitimate and legal editions of these books ever produced. You won't even notice the difference, other than that all of the notorious errors have been fixed: the covers and typeface look the same, the song list is nearly identical, and the price for our edition is even cheaper than the original! Every conscientious musician will appreciate that these books are now produced accurately and ethically, benefitting the songwriters that we owe for some of the greatest tunes of all time! Includes 400 songs: All Blues * Au Privave * Autumn Leaves * Black Orpheus * Bluesette * Body and Soul * Bright Size Life * Con Alma * Dolphin Dance * Don't Get Around Much Anymore * Easy Living * Epistrophy * Falling in Love with Love * Footprints * Four on Six * Giant Steps * Have You Met Miss Jones? * How High the Moon * I'll Remember April * Impressions * Lullaby of Birdland * Misty * My Funny Valentine * Oleo * Red Clay * Satin Doll * Sidewinder * Stella by Starlight * Take Five * There Is No Greater Love * Wave * and hundreds more! Editions also available in B-flat, E-flat, and Bass Clef. Looking for a particular song? Check out the Real Book Songfinder here.

Being Brooke


Emma Hart - 2016
    I’m a college drop-out working a dead-end job, my best friend Carly’s dog gets more action than I do, and I have more bad dates in my diary than there are movie remakes. Not to mention I'm completely and utterly in love with Cain Elliott.The problem? He’s in a relationship. With a girl who’s so plastic she makes Barbie cry herself to sleep with jealousy. The second problem? He's my best friend.My shut-up-and-put-on-Harry-Potter, yes-this-is-your-shirt, help-I-have-no-power, crap-I’m-out-of-tampons, kinda best friend. And that’s all he can be, right?Right.(Being Brooke is a standalone romantic comedy. Hilarious, super-sexy, and possibly highly inappropriate at times, this is the perfect feel-good read!)

Model Patient: My Life As an Incurable Wise-Ass


Karen Duffy - 2000
    Then her whirlwind life of celebrity parties came to an abrupt, grinding halt when she was stricken with a serious illness in one of its rarest forms: sarcoidosis of the central nervous system.Duffy soon realized that the only way for her to survive was not to take the disease too seriously. Instead of hiding from life, she chose to run toward it. She learned to embrace the chaos of a life-threatening disease with a wit and humor that helped her to find the love of her life at a time when things seemed darkest.Model Patient is a gripping, inspiring, and hilarious memoir that recounts the singular triumphs and tragedies of coping with a chronic, life-threatening disease.

Fantasy Life: The Outrageous, Uplifting, and Heartbreaking World of Fantasy Sports from the Guy Who's Lived It


Matthew Berry - 2013
    Today, more than 35 million people in the United States and Canada spend hours upon hours each week on their fantasy sports teams. And as the Senior Fantasy Sports Analyst for ESPN, Matthew Berry is on the front lines of what has grown from a niche subculture into a national pastime. In Fantasy Life, Berry celebrates every aspect of the fantasy sports world. Brilliant trash talk. Unbelievable trophies. Insane draft day locations. Shake-your-head-in-disbelief punishments. Ingenious attempts at cheating. And surprisingly uplifting stories that remind us why we play these games in the first place. Written with the same award-winning style that has made Berry one of the most popular columnists on ESPN.com, Fantasy Life is a book for both hard-core fantasy players and people who have never played before. Between tales of love and hate, birth and death, tattoos and furry animal costumes, the White House Situation Room and a 126-pound golden pelican, Matthew chronicles his journey from a fourteen-year-old fantasy player to the face of fantasy sports for the largest sports media company in the world. Fantasy will save your life. Fantasy will set you free. And fantasy life is most definitely better than real life. You'll see.