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Broken Toys, Broken Dreams: Understanding and Healing Codependency, Compulsive Behaviors, and Family by Terry Kellogg
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Codependency - “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”: Learn How To Cultivate Healthy Relationships, Overcome Relationship Jealousy, Stop Controlling Others and Be Codependent No More
Simeon Lindstrom - 2014
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If you’ve had difficulty with starting or maintaining relationships, issues with feeling jealous and possessive or find that your connections with others are more a source of distress than anything else, this book is for you. It may feel sometimes that an intense and serious connection with someone is proof of the depth of the feeling you have for one another. But be careful, obsession and dependency is not the same as love. In the codependent relationship, our affection and attention is coming from a place of fear and need. As a result, the partners never really connect with each other. They do endless, complicated dances around each others problems, but what they never do is make an honest human connection. In codependent relationships, manipulation, guilt and resentment take the place of healthy, balanced affection. Codependent partners are not necessarily together because they want to be, they are because they have to be, because they don’t know how to live otherwise. One partner may bring a history of abuse, a “personality disorder” or mental illness into a relationship; the ways the other partner responds to this may be healthy or not, but if they bring their own issues to the table too, they may find that the bond of their love is more accurately described as a shared and complementary dysfunction. Remember, the relationships we are in can never be better than the relationships we have with ourselves. Two unhappy people together never make a happy couple together. We cannot treat other people in ways we have never taken the time to consider before, and we cannot communicate properly if we are not even sure what it is we need to communicate in the first place. An individual with a mature, well-developed sense of themselves has the most to offer someone else. They have their own lives, their own sense of self-worth, their own strength. And when you remove need, fear, obsession and desperation, you open up the way for love and affection just for its own sake. Love is many things, but it’s cheapened when held hostage by the ego. Connections formed around ego and fear may be strong and lasting, but what keeps them going is mutual need. What could be more romantic than, “I don’t need to be with you. You don’t complete me at all. I am happy and stable and fulfilled without you. But I still want to be with you, because you’re awesome”? It all boils down to this: communication. Whether it’s through words or not, we are constantly communicating, and the accumulation of these little units creates this big thing we call a relationship.
THE NARCISSIST'S SECRETS: (Know the things they don't want you to know!)
Leyla Loric - 2016
Never, ever want to be drawn into a narcissistic relationship AGAIN! learn the secrets that narcissists play on to lure you in and BREAK THE CYCLE forever. 2. People who find themselves trapped in a narcissistically abusive relationship - if you simply knew the TRUTH of what was really going on in your relationship the narcissist knows very well you would be out of the door like a shot! they are praying you NEVER find out the secrets kept in this book that hold good hearted people in emotionally abusive relationships 3. People who want to WALK AWAY for ever and never look back! Isn't it an irritating burden to even after having gone through the drama and upheaval of a break up with a narcissist (not to mention the expense, emotional, financial and time-wise) to have to carry them around in your head and your heart every day? The narcissist would hate for you to be shown the mechanics of why and HOW the narcissist makes you feel this way so that you can undo it and walk away FOREVER. Looking for Revenge? Find out what makes you desire narcissistically abusive relationships, heal it, grow in self-awareness and strength and MOVE ON to a better life, leaving them in the dust. Nothing is more painful to a narcissist than to LOSE CONTROL over a victim and be discarded in the past by a victim who was not only "not crushed" by the break up but actually improved as a person as a result! This will have the narcissist frothing at the mouth with rage.
The Case for Falling in Love: Why We Can't Master the Madness of Love -- And Why That's the Best Part
Mari Ruti - 2011
A must-read for anyone who has ever fallen in love, wants to, or wants to know what went wrong." -Arianne Cohen, creator of TheSexDiariesProject.com"At last, a relationship advice book that will actually work. If you're intelligent, interested in love, and like a book you can't put down, this is it. John Gray, move over. The brilliant Mari Ruti has arrived." -Juliet Schor, professor of sociology, Boston College, and author of Born to Buy and Plenitude: The New Economics of True Wealth"Groundbreaking...Ruti opens the eyes of her readers so that they can love better...A must-read." -Nancy Redd, New York Times bestselling author of Body Drama"Finally, a book that takes love seriously. Written with passion and verve...I wish I had read this book years ago!" -Sean Carroll, author of From Eternity to Here: The Quest for the Ultimate Theory of TimeAre you tired of reading book after book and playing game after game, trying to avoid heartbreak? It seems impossible, and maybe that's because you can't lock up your heart like that-not if you want the real thing. And maybe that's one of the best things about love.We've been thinking about it all wrong. Our culture's insistence that women need to learn how to catch and keep a man is actually doing much more harm than good. The more we try to manipulate our relationships, the less we are truly able to experience love's benefits and wonders.Love is a slippery, unruly thing, and trying to control and manage it robs us of its delicious unpredictability.Sure, letting go of the reins a bit might mean a broken heart, but heartbreak, in fact, offers a wealth of possibilities-creativity, wisdom, and growth-that we need in order to make the most of our lives.Liberating for women who are frustrated by the idea that they just need to learn the right "formula," The Case for Falling in Love shows that there isn't a method to mastering the madness of love. But that might be exactly what's so wonderful about it.
When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment
Kenneth M. Adams - 2007
Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: —Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men —Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage —Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children
Changes That Heal: The Four Shifts That Make Everything Better…And That Anyone Can Do
Henry Cloud - 1992
This book focuses on four developmental tasks -- bonding to others, separating from others, integrating good and bad in our lives, and taking charge of our lives -- that all of us must accomplish to heal our inner pain and enable us to function and grow emotionally and spiritually.
Sane: How I shaped up my mind, improved my mental strength and found calm
Emma Young - 2015
Disappointed that her mind does not always deal well with the pressures of modern life, Emma decided to go on mind-toning journey.Is it possible to tone your mind just as you can tone your body so it becomes more resilient and better prepared to deal with what life throws at you?By looking at some of the new and tried and tested techniques, from meditation to mental preparation involved in extreme sports and military training, Emma has devised a programme that will help everyone achieve mental stability.
Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Recover from Emotional Abuse, Recognize Narcissists & Manipulators and Break Free Once and for All
Don Barlow - 2021
How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful
Linda J. MacDonald - 2010
However, most betraying spouses are completely unprepared for the ensuing tumult, emotional roller-coaster, and trauma reactions by the injured partner. They often make terrible mistakes in their efforts to calm their spouses and stop the earthquake that has shaken their marriages to the core, inadvertently hastening the path to divorce. As an infidelity specialist for 23 years, Linda J. MacDonald has identified certain behaviors on the part of unfaithful spouses that determine the success or failure to save their marriages. "How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" provides a practical road map for unfaithful spouses who wish to have another chance with their partners. Find out for yourself what the difference is between those who blow up their marriages in the aftermath of affairs and those who successfully manage to repair and rebuild their marriages into better-than-ever relationships. “I regularly provide copies of How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair to my clients who are facing this challenge. Unanim-ously they report, ‘That [book] was very helpful.’ I notice they continue to use it. I believe the expanded version will be even more helpful.” —Earl D. Wilson, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist, Portland, OR Author of Steering Clear, and coauthor of Restoring the Fallen“Your material on helping spouses heal from an affair was absolutely excellent. I have counseled for twenty-five years and found it well-done, balanced, and accurate.” —Jim Velez M.S., M.A., L.P.C., Portland, Oregon
Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps: New Stories
Melody Beattie - 1990
Now she’s back to help you discover how recovery programs work and to help you find the right one for you. Interpreting the famous Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps specifically for codependent issues for the very first time, this groundbreaking book combines Melody’s expertise with the experience of other people to: • Explain each step and how you can apply it to your particular issues • Offer specific exercises and activities to use both in group settings and on your own • Provide a directory of the wide range of Twelve Step programs—including Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous, Codependents of Sex Addicts, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and more The uniquely warm and compassionate voice of Melody Beattie will inspire you to turn your life around—one step at a time.
Facing Codependence: What it is, where it comes from, how it sabotages our lives
Pia Mellody - 2020
Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own
Karen Casey - 2008
And there is a simple way out of it: detachment.In Codependence and the Power of Detachment, bestselling author Karen Casey shares her story and the story of others who have suffered from codependency. Based on the insights and tools she's discovered during her many years of sobriety to address codependency, Casey takes readers through the steps of detaching from a bad situation: admitting the attachment, surrendering the outcome, forgiving, and focusing attention on what works. She describes how to pay attention, be aware, and take care of ourselves, and let others--husbands, family, and coworkers--become accountable for themselves.Codependence and the Power of Detachment shows that detachment is a power anyone can claim. It is the power of sanity, of peace, of finding one's own inner strength.
Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life
Ronald T. Potter-Efron - 1989
This book helps us recognize shame for what it is, and affirm our basic humanity, humility, autonomy, and competence.As we identify shame and use recovery skills to work through it, Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life helps to explain the emotion of shame and its impact on our self-image and relationships. The authors offer us a way that we can personalize a plan of action to help build our self-esteem, and they suggest exercises to help us identify our feelings of shame.
Healing the Shame that Binds You
John Bradshaw - 1988
The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed.” Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures. Key Features This is not just a recovery book. Among other things, it is a classic book on identifying and working through unresolved family issues. Includes affirmations, visualizations, inner voice and feeling exercises. Strong supporting studies make this a popular book with counselors and other professionals. Completely updated and revised
Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children
Jody Day - 2016
Although some are child-free by choice, many others are childless by circumstance and are struggling in a life they didn't foresee. Most people think that women without children either 'couldn't' or 'didn't want to' be mothers. The truth is much more complex. Jody Day would have liked to have had children, but it didn't work out that way. At the age of forty-four she realized that her quest to be a mother was at an end. She presumed that she was through the toughest part, but over the next couple of years she was hit by waves of grief, despair and isolation. Eventually she found her way and created the Gateway Women Network, helping many thousands of women worldwide. In Living the Life Unexpected, Jody Day addresses the taboo of childlessness and provides a powerful, practical 12-week guide to help women come to terms with their grief, and to move on to live creative, happy, meaningful, and fulfilling lives without children.Previously titled Rocking the Life Unexpected, this inspiring and practical guide to a life without children has been extensively revised and updated, and includes significant additional content including extracts from the stories of 24 women and 2 men from around the world.
Stage II Relationships: Love Beyond Addiction
Earnie Larsen - 1984
Offers clear and practical techniques for couples and families who have faced the issue of addiction and are now striving to bring health and vitality to their relationships.