The gods were supposed to preside over Creation with unmatched wisdom and knowledge. Well, that was the idea. But what is Death – a god of terrible majesty and splendour – supposed to do when his daughter asks for a pony? Is he really supposed to just go out and get a mortal one? Like that’s going to work. It’ll keel over and die in a couple of decades. No, his daughter deserves something better, a pony truly worthy of her divine heritage, which means he’s going to have to get a little bit creative. And then there’s Bureaucracy. The Supreme Mother and Supreme Father might have given rise to Creation, but Bureaucracy is the one who has to keep everything running smoothly. But that’s easier said than done when there are hundreds of gods and countless mortals to consider – none of whom understand the importance of filing paperwork in triplicate. Luckily, not even gods can escape the awesome power of divine paperwork. And let’s not forget gods like Mayhem, Mischief, and Rabble. Their names speak for themselves. When the three of them take a holiday in the mortal world at the same time, trouble is right around the corner. Divine Assistance is a collection of fourteen short stories about the gods and their attempts to manage Creation. There are souls to claim, mortals to woo, and even the occasional city to smite. After all, what’s life without a little divine assistance?

    But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!

    These are the men, and one day soon the women, who stand out from their peers as being part of one of the most elite military groups in the world. They have proven that they have what it takes but the question is, do you? Walk with us through the training regimen of the most feared and respected military force in the world as we take you through initial training to graduation day. Along the way you’ll learn some lessons about integrity, perseverance, and honor. You don’t have to be a SEAL to take these lessons and apply them to your daily life. You just need the right motivation and we’re here to give it to you. Here’s just a few thing you’ll learn about: • The Navy SEAL Fitness regimen • How to train your mind for everyday battle • Being aware of what’s happening around you • How the tough keep mentally strong Do you think you have what it takes to be a Navy SEAL? You might not be boot camp ready but when you’re done with Navy SEAL Self-Discipline you’ll be ready to take on life! What are you waiting for? Grab your copy today and start on the path to a new, more confident you! DOWNLOAD NOW! Scroll up to Buy with One-Click!

    until something utterly unfamiliar suddenly lands in your back yard.Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within those familiar walls, she hardly notices the altogether different arrival in her own back yard. She may ignore the sudden shaking beneath her slippered feet, she might even neglect to spot the conspicuous sight itself—but she can't evade the stench. Something's wrong. Very wrong. And Susan's incapable of determining just what to do about the uninvited eyesore in her back yard. Turning to her best friend for help with the impromptu emergency threatening to shake up her very existence and happy home, Susan combines efforts with neighbor Trisha to decipher the composition and meaning of the frightfully large and utterly unpleasant new arrival. But are these two women really capable of realizing the gift of new awareness they've just been given by an unseen entity? Or will they continue to fail to see the world that exists out there? What a difference a day makes... unless you choose to ignore it. Start Reading Now...What are you waiting for? Unexpected surprises, urban fantasy, unveiled mysteries, a touch of humor, a dab of "new weird", and so much more await you.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    Last minute. Who doesn't already have plans on the busiest date night of the year.But, so far the best part of the search for a great date has been the cute café I found and the geeky-hot owner who keeps rescuing me from these crazy eLove.com dates. This should be easy-peasy. The internet is the home of all your hopes and needs, right?Spoiler Alert: it isn't.Between the bromance date and the crazed single dad who needs to hire a nanny and housekeeper, not get a date, I'm running out of options. If only a certain cutey didn't have a phone call with "sweetheart" every day.The weirder things get, the more I think just going solo is very I Am Woman, blah blah blah. Forget about the fact that my heart keeps bringing me back to a certain café even when I don't need to be there...I mean, my heart doesn't always get what it wants, does it?

    In "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl," Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty.Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl" will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger.

    I’m young and I want to move on. Am I a bad person?• Why does my boyfriend always adjust himself in public?• My wife dresses like a slut. How do I make her stop?• My boyfriend’s number one friend on MySpace is his ex. Should I be concerned?With he-said, she-said advice that is both raw and honest, What Do We Do Now? is sure to appeal to the podcast’s legion of fans, and attract a brand-new audience tired of the tried-and-not-so-true relationship manuals.

    Beat him to death with a tree branch after he threatened to rape her. But what started as self-defense became problematic for two reasons. First, she killed Robert Sims after he’d been rendered completely defenseless. And second, she inadvertently left her fingerprints at the scene. Allie is young, beautiful, the smartest person in any room. But she’s also been diagnosed as clinically insane. As her past catches up with her and her marriage starts to crumble, Allie is determined to survive at all costs. Size Matters is a taut, compelling novel that teaches us never to underestimate a woman with nothing to lose. PRELIMINARY REVIEWS: “Size Matters is so full of twists and turns and surprises I couldn’t have flipped the pages faster if you paid me! This novel surprised and delighted and kept me shaking my head time and again. Fans of Donovan Creed should be aware that he and Callie make a brief appearance that furthers their saga.” “‘I’ve done bad things,’ says Allie McPherson, ‘but that doesn’t make me a bad person.’ Well, that’s one opinion!” “This book is crazy! There are twists and turns on virtually every page! While I consider myself an expert on Locke novels, I have to admit he took me on a wild ride that made me guess wrong every single time.” “Size Matters is a cross between Alfred Hitchcock and Quentin Tarantino. From start to finish I was shocked, surprised, and hopelessly entertained.”

    An uncensored account of his extraordinary true life story and his lifelong struggle to overcome an abusive childhood and build a 'normal' life for himself and his family. Put out with the rubbish at 2 weeks old and into the care system of the London Borough of Tower Hamlets, Paul Connolly was sent to the notorious St Leonard’s home in Essex, where he heard that he was 'Not Normal' almost daily amongst years of mental, physical and sexual abuse. Childhood friendships made and lost. Total Neglect. Starvation. Sending an illiterate, very angry young man out into the world. After years of extreme violence in London during the 1980's and 90's mixing with gangsters and a dark underworld, Paul confronted memories and demons from his past in the most shocking ways - eventually discovering that six from eight of the childhood friends he grew up with in St Leonard's were no longer alive. Great friends and a loving heart transformed Paul’s world and Paul has gone on to help thousands of people as a specialist conditioning coach, sports injury expert, celebrity personal trainer, presenter and best selling author. He works with various charities and is a core participant in the historical child abuse enquiry providing a voice for many of those no longer able to speak up. Above all else, Paul is now most proud of being a loving father to his two sons. Life has been anything but normal and the demons will never go away, but Paul has learned to smile at them as many of the people that predicted the worst for him are now where they told this vulnerable little boy he would end up. This is Paul Connolly’s story and it is Not Normal

    Turner's "Tales of Imperfection" series, the author relates her adventures on the Jersey Shore, at an Idaho drag show with her in-laws, and surviving the perils of an elementary school ice-cream social with equal parts wit and heart. The laughter pairs well with two parts cocktail.

    When he sees strange individuals coming, but never leaving his neighbor’s house, he begins to suspect that something nefarious is going on. Now that he saw a small child walk in but never walk out, he and his wife Clara need to figure out what is going on. They will stop at nothing to rescue the innocent boy that is trapped inside before it’s too late. Short story: 10,000 words

    A wave of sinkholes appears on the anniversary of a rural tragedy, and local residents begin to hear the voices of the dead. A woman encounters a predator from her youth—and a chance to turn the tables. A child’s inner beast takes on a sinister life of its own. An undetectable serial killer raises tensions on a college campus. Experimental physics reveals another world, and it might mean the end of ours. Shrouded in darkness, lurking in the shadows, NIGHT TERRORS III awaits you. The third installment of the chilling Night Terrors anthology series includes stories from Jack Ketchum, Steve Rasnic Tem, Dennis Etchison, Taylor Grant, Eric J. Guignard, Aric Sundquist, Jennifer Brozek, John McNee, Simon McCaffery, Patty Templeton, and many more!

    Names of Kings and major political/military persons have been updated and major typographical errors found with the previous Kindle edition have been corrected. Combined with copious illustrations, maps and images, the newly revised Dark Ages is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand a critical period in Western history that saw the transition from Roman Imperial rule to conquest-driven tribal rule and, ultimately, a flowering into the High Middle Ages. Oman provides one of the best historical examinations and explanations about the period widely known as the Dark Ages, when the end of total and complex Roman Imperial rule over Europe and the Mediterranean collapsed, taking the institutions that provided so much cultural sophistication and stability with it. The Dark Ages has been split into three books, mainly for ease of reading; the original book published in 1893 was a massive tome that covered the period from 476 CE to 918 CE. This second book in the new edition covers the period from 561 CE to 743 CE:THE SUCCESSORS OF JUSTINIAN 565-610DECLINE AND DECAY OF THE MEROVINGIANS 561-656THE LOMBARDS IN ITALY, AND THE RISE OF THE PAPACY 568-653HERACLIUS AND MOHAMMED 610-641THE DECLINE AND FALL OF THE VISIGOTHS A.D. 603-711THE CONTEST OF THE EASTERN EMPIRE AND THE CALIPHATE 641-717THE HISTORY OF THE GREAT MAYORS OF THE PALACE 656-720THE LOMBARDS AND THE PAPACY 653-743CHARLES MARTEL AND HIS WARS 720-741

    It is the story of Skeeter, a young boy growing up in a family poor in material goods but rich in the appreciation of their natural surroundings. The river they live on is the source of life—and death.