Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    It also displays the saga of continuous failures and lesson learns going forward.The Story takes us way back to 2006. Four college students in the final year had a big dream. Despite the average academic marks and knowledge, they dared to envisage big. Although everybody laughed at them for their big fantasies, they were firm in getting their dreams to come true. In the process of getting their dream fulfilled and opening a startup, they had to face a lot of hiccups. There was a lot of confusion among themselves. The troubles and disasters transpired in the way of getting their startups.The dreams, the vision, the ideas, the blunders, the lesson learned, some quick luck is Story's main gist.After each loss, the intensity from which they come back to start another project is the Story's highlight. The Story also revolves around the personal preferences, the ego, the emotional moments of their life.The Story also conveys the cautions that most of the youngster has forgotten nowadays in the rush of opening a startup.

    The lead character in most is Bitchy Bitch, the perma-nently PMS'd and PO'd embodiment of the female id, who also stars in her own series of cartoon shorts on the Oxygen Network's X-Chromosome animated series.The raunchiest collection, focusing on Bitchy's sexual excapades.

    Combining Adam's inimitable comedic voice and four-color illustrations by his friend Michael Narren, Rich Man Poor Man is a hilariously accurate look at what the people born with silver spoons in their mouths have in common with the people whose only utensils are plastic sporks stolen from a Shakey's.

    To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    In this mock autobiographical collection his mischievous drawings capture life's anxieties and ambitions from the mundane to the surreal. Here, at last, is The Truth about beer, doctors, shadow puppets, lunch, dolphins, boredom, and supernatural forces. Seductively strange and addictively amusing, this edgy little book welcomes the uninitiated and rewards the faithful.

    Cul de Sacis noted not only for its humour and intelligence, but also for creator Richard Thompson's fun, imaginative watercolour artwork. Cul de Sacis brought to life through manhole-dancing Alice Otterloop, a curious four-year-old who discovers life's ups and downs in suburbia. Along with her Blisshaven Preschool classmates, Alice charms fans of all ages with her escapades. From crafting projects in a cloud of glitter and glue or just trying to comprehend a completely incomprehensible world, Alice is a creature of pure and indomitable will, an irresistible force. Alice describes her father's car as a "Honda-Tonka Cuisinart" and talks to the class guinea pig, Mr. Danders. Alice is joined by her family: her older brother Petey who is intent on being the King of the Picky Eaters; her dad, who's the Assistant Director of Pamphlets at the U.S. Department of Consumption, Office of Consumer Complaints; and her mom, who is capable of doing a million things simultaneously, about five of them well. This library of cartoons and art will both delight long-time fans and provide a fantastic introduction to new readers.

    After abandoning his new home as a lost cause, he's caught up in the poker craze and moves to Atlantic City with a new dream of "playing poker for a living", but soon finds himself stuck in a dizzying spell of bad luck at the card tables. Or maybe he just sucks at poker, like everybody else. His money all gone, and finding that it's actually difficult to drink oneself to death at 1am, he's suddenly offered a chance to make his money back, and then some, by running an underground poker game in New York City. Once in New York, Tim finds himself on the road to recovery and making real money for the first time—but at what cost? We Run Bad offers an authentic and darkly comic look at underground poker culture, while serving up an indictment of post-recession America. Here, every game is rigged, and the only way to come out ahead is to be the one doing the rigging.

    Haunted by memories of those she cared so dearly for, she soon longs to escape Providence in the hope that doing so will allow her to heal and feel whole once again. While browsing through the Providence Daily Post, she happens upon a series of ads placed by men from Montana who seek brides to join them on the new Frontier. All of the ads quickly begin to sound the same when suddenly, one stands out. Though skeptical, she decides to muster the courage to respond to a man named Mr. Adam Black who seeks an intelligent woman, not just a pleasant woman to keep his home tidy. Upon her arrival, Madeline meets the dashing Mr. Black and is quickly swept off her feet when he gives her a tour of his lavish home and all that lies within. Her hopes are quickly dashed, however, when he reveals to her that in truth, he’s only really looking to settle down to please his father, hoping to continue living his bachelor’s lifestyle. Although Madeline agrees to go along with Mr. Black’s peculiar arrangement, she can’t help but feel the palpable chemistry between them. Will Madeline settle for a picture perfect, yet hollow marriage arrangement, or does Mr. Black share the same feelings, turning her daydreams into a real life fairy tale? Book 2: Montana Mail Order Bride Clara: In 1890, New York City is no place for a woman alone, and that is exactly what young Clara has become. As she struggles to cope with the death of her only living relative, she is also faced with her own set of predicaments. Now, as she attempts to find work in the newspaper, she finds the advertisement of William Dean. William is a rugged man, used to the desolate life of the Frontier, and he’s made a place for himself in Montana--but his success means nothing without the tender warmth of a wife. When Clara notices his ad seeking a marriageable prospect, she responds and their worlds collide. Book 3: Montana Mail Order Bride Emma: When Emma marries her sweet husband James, she thinks she will finally get her happily ever after. But after eight happy years of marriage, Emma is forced to let her dear James fall prey to deathly clutches of a horrible illness. All she has left now is her dearest twelve year old daughter, Margaret. Both take jobs as seamstresses in a factory downtown, but their meager wages just aren’t enough for the two to get by. Emma is forced to admit that she needs the help of another husband, so when a matrimonial ad appears in the paper from a Frontier man, Emma takes a risk and heads to Montana with Margaret and Frederick, a long-time dear friend of her late husband’s who insists on accompanying the ladies as their chaperone. Book 4: Montana Mail Order Bride Julia: When a boy whom Julia has been charged to take care of dies, Julia is left searching for her next path in life. Her choices are limited, as she is not a wealthy woman nor is she married, and she fears that she must take the charity of her only living relative.

    Blondes, brunettes, beach balls and bikinis- now you can cherish the innocence of summer days gone by with this paperback edition collecting the earliest stories from the hard-to-find BETTY & VERONICA SUMMER FUN editions of the ARCHIE GIANT SERIES! Whether chasing after hunky new lifeguards, modeling the latest swimwear or putting up with Archie and Reggie's goofy rivalry for their affections, Betty and Veronica are truly the queens of summer!

    The New Fighting Technique may have sprung from the crucible of cubicle culture----Rees created the strip while working a deathly boring temp job, harnessing the potential energy of his PowerPoint software, Internet connection, laser printer, and vast expanses of fallow hours into this Unstoppable ass-kicking phenomenon----but the result has less to do with clockwatching than with the explosive energy of freestyling gangsta rap, airborne Bruce Lee maneuvers, and a profane, deadpan sense of humor that just may establish David Rees as the Lenny Bruce of our times. As soon as Rees began faxing MNFTIU comics to friends, those friends were faxing it to friends who were faxing it to more friends. It was the birth of a genuine underground publishing sensation. Soon it was a regular serial, then there was merchandise, then a website that received 25 million hits last year.

    In THE LAWDOG FILES, he chronicles his official encounters with everything from naked bikers, combative eco-warriors, suicidal drunks, respectful methheads, prison tattoo artists, and creepy children to six-foot chickens and lethal chihuahuas. THE LAWDOG FILES range from the bittersweet to the explosively hilarious, as LawDog relates his unforgettable experiences in a laconic, self-deprecating manner that is funny in its own right. The book is more than mere entertainment, it is an education in two English dialects, Police and Texas Country. And underlying the humor is an unmistakable sympathy for society's less fortunate - and in most cases, significantly less intelligent - whose encounters with the law are an all-too-frequent affair.

    This graphic fantasy novel is the second of its kind, following on from "Raw" volume 1.

    Always together—and sometimes with their fellow funny-page characters—the regular Pearls clan weighs in on everything from modern technology to current events to human nature. All the members of the skewed gang are here as Zebra engages in a never-ending war of neighborly hate with the Crocs. As always, Goat offers a voice of reason amid the ongoing chaos that Pastis creates, either from behind the pen or as a character within the strip itself. Includes all cartoons from the collections I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream Because Puns Suck and Floundering Fathers.