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How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is the Antichrist by Patricia Carlin
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Carpe Demon
Julie Kenner - 2005
she used to be a Demon Hunter.Now retired, she's more interested in the domestic than the demonic. So when she catches sight of a demon in Walmart, she tells herself it's some other Hunter's problem. But when that demon attacks her in her kitchen, retirement is no longer an option.Now Kate has to kick a little demon butt, figure out why the creatures are trying to take her out and take over her home town, and at the same time take care of her 2-year-old, deal with a hormonal 14-year-old, get the family to Mass on time, and try to keep her past a secret from her daughter and her husband.She's a little out of practice, but hey ... if she can juggle two kids and an impromptu dinner party, ridding the town of demons should be a piece of cake. Like the saying goes, Carpe Demon ... and Kate intends to do just that.
Encyclopaedia of Hell: An Invasion Manual For Demons Concerning the Planet Earth and the Human Race Which Infests It
Martin Olson - 2011
A masterpiece expressing Satan's hatred for humanity and himself, the Encyclopaedia includes "Techniques of Stalking and Eating Humans," "Methods of Canning Human Pus," and "Dicing and Slicing Orphaned Children."
Why the invasion? During the last century in particular, Hell has become seriously overcrowded. Satan needs more land mass for the damned and to use the human livestock to feed his hungry demon invaders.
Since this book is the 666th commemorative edition, this Encyclopaedia contains special commemorative material.
Martin Olson's savage wit provides the firepower for a preposterous literary feat unaccomplished since Mark Twain passedchanneling the real voice of Satan. Over the past fifteen years, Olson has written and produced nine comedy specials, inflicted on the populace via CBS, HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and A&E.
Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops
Jen Campbell - 2012
isn't it?'A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?: here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.
The No Contact Rule
Natalie Lue - 2007
Grab back your power and move on to aNo Contact (NC) is ideal when someone just won't break up, but isn't prepared to commit to being and doing what is expected of them. It's also exactly what's needed when you keep chasing someone who doesn't want you or isn't prepared to give you what you want and need. NC teaches boundaries and imposes limits both on yourself and the other person. This detailed comprehensive survival guide provides all the info you need to understand what no contact is, why it's necessary and effective, what they're thinking, breaking your pattern and understanding your compulsion, dealing with NC with co-workers or the parent of your child, how to stay the course, and get onto rebuilding your life so that you can move on.Natalie Lue is the author of the Bagage Reclaim blog and the ebook, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, which is a no holds barred guide to understanding emotionally unavailable men, the women that love them, and modern day dysfunctional relationships and the impact of self-esteem. With well over a 100K readers a month, her blog and ebooks have become a much needed source of support for people who have previously felt alone and mystified by their relationship and self-esteem issues.
The Celestine Prophecy
James Redfield - 1993
They told their friends about it, and friends in turn told their friends. By word of mouth alone, news of this magical, moving work spread throughout the country, until -- within months of its first printing -- over hundred thousand readers had become excited by its predictions and touched by the way it made sense of what was happening in their lives.Now you can discover for yourself the insights, the vision, and the uncanny accuracy of "The Celestine Prophecy". A parable filled with vital truth that reads like a gripping adventure-tale, it begins with the disappearance of an ancient Peruvian manuscript. Although few Westerners know of its existence and a government wants to suppress it, this precious document contains an important secret: the 9 insights the human race is predicted to grasp as we enter an era of true spiritual awareness.To find the manuscript -- and its hidden treasures -- you will join one person's search. It is a quest that will carry you high into the Andes mountains, to ancient ruins deep in old-growth forest, and to a startling discovery. You will quickly recognize the truth of the First Insight: in each of our lives occur mysterious coincidences -- sudden, synchronistic events that, once interpreted, lead us into our true destiny.When you find and understand all 9 of the insights, you will have an exciting new image of human life, and a positive vision of how we will save this planet, its creatures, and its beauty. "The Celestine Prophecy" will give you hope…and chills…as you begin to perceive its predictions unfolding all around you in intimate relationships and international affairs. And you will suddenly recognize the quantum leap forward humankind is preparing to make as we approach the new millennium. Important works such as Carlos Castaneda's "The Teachings of Don Juan" and the prophecies of Nostradamus have helped prepare the way for the revelations you will find in James Redfield's life-changing words. The time is right to hear them, and to discover the personal journey that is opening in your life.
Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire
Eric Berkowitz - 2012
However, that's not to say that the Sumerians, Victorians, and every civilization in between and beyond have not tried, wielding their most formidable weapon: the law. At any given point in time, some forms of sex were condoned while others were punished mercilessly. Jump forward or backward a century or two (and often far less than that), and the harmless fun of one time period becomes the gravest crime in another. Sex and Punishment tells the story of the struggle throughout the millennia to regulate the most powerful engine of human behavior.Writer and lawyer Eric Berkowitz uses flesh-and-blood cases—much flesh and even more blood—to evoke the entire sweep of Western sex law, from the savage impalement of an Ancient Mesopotamian adulteress to the imprisonment of Oscar Wilde in 1895 for "gross indecency." The cast of Sex and Punishment is as varied as the forms taken by human desire itself: royal mistresses, gay charioteers, medieval transvestites, lonely goat-lovers, prostitutes of all stripes, London rent boys. Each of them had forbidden sex, and each was judged—and justice, as Berkowitz shows, rarely had much to do with it. With the light touch of a natural storyteller, Berkowitz spins these tales and more, going behind closed doors to reveal the essential history of human desire.
The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance
Elna Baker - 2009
Every year, Elna Baker attends the New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. This year, her Queen Bee costume (which involves a funnel stinger stuck to her butt) isn't attracting the attention she'd anticipated. So once again, Elna finds herself alone, standing at the punch bowl, stocking up on Oreos, a virgin in a room full of thirty-year-old virgins doing the Funky Chicken. But loneliness is nothing compared to what Elna feels when she loses eighty pounds, finds herself suddenly beautiful...and in love with an atheist.
Undead and Unwed
MaryJanice Davidson - 2004
First Betsy Taylor loses her job, then she's killed in a car accident. But what really bites is that she can't seem to stay dead. And now her new friends have the ridiculous idea that Betsy is the prophesied vampire queen, and they want her help in overthrowing the most obnoxious power-hungry vampire in five centuries.
I Want My Epidural Back: Adventures in Mediocre Parenting
Karen Alpert - 2016
It’s having a real live child.If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book.But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book.I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.
Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection
Nick Seluk - 2015
From paying taxes and getting up for work to dancing with kittens and starting a band, readers everywhere will relate to the ongoing struggle between Heart and Brain.Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection illustrates the relationship between the sensible Brain and its emotionally driven counterpart, the Heart.Boasting more than one million pageviews per month, TheAwkwardYeti.com has become a webcomic staple since its creation in 2012.
Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up
Alexandra Potter - 2020
When her business goes bust and her fiancé with it, Nell’s happy ever after in California falls apart and she moves back to London to start over. But a lot has changed since she’s been gone. All her single friends are now married with children, sky-high rents force her to rent a room in a stranger’s house and in a world of perfect instagram lives, she feels like a f*ck up. Even worse, a forty-something f*ck-up.But when she lands a job writing obituaries, Nell meets the fabulous Cricket, an eighty-something widow with challenges of her own, and they strike up an unlikely friendship. Together they begin to help each other heal their aching hearts, cope with the loss of the lives they had planned, and push each other into new adventures and unexpected joys. Because Nell is determined. Next year things are going to be very different. It's time to turn her life around.
A book for anyone who’s ever worried life isn’t going to plan, Confessions of a Forty-Something F##k Up by Alexandra Potter will make you laugh and it might even make you cry. But most importantly, it will remind you that you're not alone, because we’re all in this together.
Time to fall in love with your life.
Seven Deadly Sins: Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
Corey Taylor - 2011
And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin and whether sinning could--or should--be recast in a different light. Seven Deadly Sins is Taylor's personal story, but it's also a larger discussion of what it means to be seen as either a "good" person or a "bad" one. Yes, Corey Taylor has broken the law and hurt people, but, if sin is what makes us human, how wrong can it be?
Drink, Slay, Love
Sarah Beth Durst - 2011
fond of blood, allergic to sunlight, and mostly evil... until the night a sparkly unicorn stabs her through the heart with his horn. Oops. Her family thinks she was attacked by a vampire hunter (because, obviously, unicorns don't exist), and they're shocked she survived. They're even more shocked when Pearl discovers she can now withstand the sun. But they quickly find a way to make use of her new talent. The Vampire King of New England has chosen Pearl's family to host his feast. If Pearl enrolls in high school, she can make lots of human friends and lure them to the King's feast—as the entrees. The only problem? Pearl's starting to feel the twinges of a conscience. How can she serve up her new friends—especially the cute guy who makes her fangs ache—to be slaughtered? Then again, she's definitely dead if she lets down her family. What's a sunlight-loving vamp to do?
Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door
Lynne Truss - 2005
Taking on the boorish behavior that for some has become a point of pride, Talk to the Hand is a rallying cry for courtesy. Like Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Talk to the Hand is not a stuffy guidebook, and is sure to inspire spirited conversation. For anyone who’s fed up with the brutality inflicted by modern manners (or lack thereof), Talk to the Hand is a colorful call to arms—from the wittiest defender of the civilized world.
Dear Girls Above Me: Inspired by a True Story
Charlie McDowell - 2013
His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour. Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test. After being unceremoniously dumped by the girl he was certain was “the one,” Charlie realized his neighbors’ conversations were not only amusing, but also offered him access to a completely uncensored woman’s perspective on the world. From the importance of effectively Facebook-stalking potential girlfriends and effortlessly pulling off pastel, to learning when in the early stages of dating is too presumptuous to bring a condom and how to turn food poisoning into a dieting advantage, the girls get Charlie into trouble, but they also get him out of it—without ever having a clue of their impact on him.