Your plan is to somehow get the most famous actor in the world, to fall in love with your daughter Victory, who we both love dearly, but - and please don’t take offence Sir - who you yourself admit is built generously across the aft, and whose face is unlikely to launch the Dartmouth ferry, let alone a thousand ships…" Victory Shackleford is a spinster, or at least well on the way to becoming one. She is thirty two years old, still lives with her father - an eccentric retired Admiral, and the love of her life is a dog. She thinks her father is reckless, irresponsible, and totally incapable of looking after himself. He thinks his daughter is a boring nagging harpy with no imagination or sense of adventure and what’s more, he’s determined to get her married off. Unfortunately there’s no one in the picturesque yachting town of Dartmouth that Tory is remotely interested in, despite her father’s best efforts. But all that is about to change when she discovers that her madcap father has rented out their house as a location shoot for the biggest blockbuster of the year. As cast and crew descend, Tory’s humdrum orderly existence is turned completely upside down, especially as the lead actor has just been voted the sexiest man on the planet… Full of romantic humour, Claiming Victory is a must for fans of funny love stories - especially quirky British Romantic comedies.

    The story of a family with 8 children.

    guide addressing various scenarios, and everyday situations.

    But what about all the sh*t you do give a f*ck about-like your career, health, relationships, and bank account?Now, Sarah's back with more hilarious advice to make life easier and better. Whether your dream is to quit your day job and buy a food truck, pay off your debt, or just spend more time with your cat, Sarah cuts through the bullsh*t cycle of self-sabotage to show you how to be happy.You'll learn:Three simple tools for getting (and keeping) your sh*t togetherThe Power of Negative ThinkingHow to balance work and fun-and save money while you're at itWays to manage anxietyAnd tons of other awesome sh*t!Soon you'll be setting real goals, crushing them, and getting out the door for happy hour-every damn day.Praise for Sarah Knight"Genius." - Cosmopolitan"Self-help to swear by." - The Boston Globe"Hilarious [and] truly practical." - Booklist

    To the millions unable to get to their teams' games on Saturday afternoons, the next best thing is undoubtedly the pleasurable company of Jeff and the Sky Sports videprinter for a cozy marathon on the sofa. If someone's got to reveal that your beloved team have just gone 3�0 down away from home and had a man sent off, it's best if it's consummate professional Jeff who breaks the news to you. Avid Hartlepool fan Jeff knows our pain and shares our joy—but mostly he knows our pain. The long-time host of SkySports' iconic Soccer Saturday show has become a cult figure, universally admired for his encyclopedic knowledge of the game, his genuine and unlimited enthusiasm for all levels of soccer, and his wicked sense of humor which makes the six-hour long show simply whiz by. This deliciously chaotic, hugely entertaining, anecdote-ridden, humorous taste of life in the Soccer Saturday studio reveals what Jeff has to say about some of the show's legendary pundits over the years—ex-players such as George Best, Rodney Marsh, Chris Kamara, Charlie Nicholas, and Matt Le Tissier. Get the inside track on all those great one-liners: "Mansfield Town's Gareth Jellyman has been shown the red card for dissent. Looks like Jellyman's thrown a wobbly." "Darlington's equalizer has been scored by Guyain Ndumbu-Nsungu. Very much a case of local boy makes good." "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight." "James Brown's grabbed a second for Hartlepool. I feel good!" Jellyman's Thrown a Wobbly goes a long way to demonstrate how a six-hour long, studio-based show with no live action pictures and featuring men gazing into TV monitors which the viewer can't see, can hold a huge audience enthralled every Saturday afternoon between August and May.

    This book details his return to live performance, and the journey that took him from an early retirement to his position as the most critically acclaimed stand-up in Britain.

    Face it, sometimes a standard curse word or expletive just won't do. Whether you're annoyed with your neighbor, agitated with your boss, or tired of your lazy roommate, this unique two-flap flipbook of totally uncensored and socially unacceptable phrases will provide endless possibilities for creative and colorful vocabulary. Unleash the immaturity and skewed sense of humor within and never be left searching for a clever comeback again.

    Read it and please don't let me down any more.' Mrs. Hyacinth Bucket"Keeping Up Appearances" is a book of etiquette on modern social behaviour. As a book on etiquette it delves into what to do and what not to do in times of social indecision.

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    

    "As They Slept" is a collection of comical tales, guaranteed to make you smile.In a similar style to "The World According to Clarkson", Andy explains how to eradicate lost property, why women can't use their pockets, and exactly when it's ok to lie.

    Some things last forever...so of all people, you'd think tattoo artists would use spell-check! Get this e-book and laugh your @#$ off at what happens when questionable taste and lack of foresight collide.Note: As the title says, there's some pretty inappropriate stuff in here...not for children!

    A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.

    In this new book, his first update, Perret offers readers a treasure trove of guidelines and suggestions covering a broad range of comedy writing situations, along with many all-important insights into the selling of one’s work. Perret covers all aspects of comedy writing in his uniquely knowledgeable and anecdotal fashion.

    So much so that we have taught our brains not to pay much attention. After all, click the mouse, tap the screen, flick the channel and it's on to the next thing. But Dave Gorman thinks it's time to have a closer look, to find out how much nonsense we tacitly accept.Suspicious adverts, baffling newspaper headlines, fake twitter, endless cat videos, insane TV shows where the presenters ask the same questions over and over.Can we even hear ourselves think over the rising din? Or is there just too much information?