Turned Out by a Savage


Shameka Jones - 2017
     Danger is no stranger to the heartaches of the world. After losing her adoptive mother, she almost crumbles under a domino effect of misfortune. When she meets Sleep, she thinks she’s finally found a captain to save her, but when she learns his main goal is to pimp her out, Danger wastes no time getting from under his thumb. On the run to get as far away from Sleep as possible, she lands in Dallas, where she reunites with her bestie. Free is the true definition of dangerous curves. A BBW with enough personality to steal any show, she’s quick to flash a smile that hides her own set of demons. It’s hard to be comfortable in your skin, especially when family is the main one trying to tear you down, but Free is determined to stunt on everybody that has a problem with her weight— family included. Add the kind of street smarts that make a natural born hustler, and Free is every hitta’s dream come true. Whether they can handle her is the real question. Stranger is a self-made boss in his own right, a dude whose name rings bells in the streets and commands respect even while he’s locked up. Growing up with a schizophrenic for a mother made him unbreakable, but not above the law when he gets caught slipping. Done serving his time, he only has two things on his mind: hitting the streets and getting to the money by any means necessary. After stumbling across a connect and an offer he can’t refuse, Stranger agrees to collect a blood debt in exchange for the keys to the streets. Will his decision cost him more than he’s willing to give up? Where Stranger is a silent killer, Spazz, his younger brother, leaves a path of destruction with anything he touches. Wild, rude, and reckless, he’s ready to get it poppin’ if you even look at him wrong, and there’s only one thing that can tame his temper: his five-year-old daughter. With a mouth to feed and a street legacy to claim, he’s down with no hesitation when Stranger brings him into his plan to re-claim the streets. With his brother by his side, Spazz is ready to put his city on the map. Stranger never let his heart take his focus off the money, until he meets Danger. Mesmerized by her effortless beauty, he just has to have her, but there’s one problem: she’s on the arm of the same guy he’s planning to take down. Is he willing to kill for love? Spazz always gets what he wants, and he knows Free will be his from the minute he meets her. Never being attracted to BBWs in the past, he’s powerless against Free’s hypnotizing thickness, and her confidence and slick mouth are just the type of bonus that makes her worth the chase. Will he convince Free to take a chance on a real one? Ain’t nothin’ like lovin’ a savage, and once you get inside the head of one, your life will never be the same. Take a journey with Danger, Free, Stranger, and Spazz as they try to cheat the past for the future. Nothing goes as planned in love, especially once you’re Turned out by a Savage.

101 foolproof jokes to use in case of emergency


Adam Kisiel - 2012
    Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."

Mistaken Identity (Jack Dillon Dublin Tales Book 8)


Mike Faricy - 2019
    Faricy takes things from there into a 'Can't put it down' tale that will have you riveted. A great read. - The Irish Gazette Two American women, Kate Betto and Megan Ganino, a redhead and a blonde, are arrested and cooperate with authorities to aid in the conviction of a pair of major drug dealers. At the conclusion of the trial, they're secretly flown back to the US to serve time. It happens to be the same day that Kate Murray and Megan Gaffney, a blonde and a redhead, arrive in Dublin to celebrate their college graduation, rent a car, and drive west. Things go terribly wrong almost immediately. US Marshal Jack Dillon and DI Paddy Suel investigate a torched rental car and quickly learn there's a lot more going on . . . and the clock is ticking! Grab your copy NOW!

Funny Jokes: Ultimate LoL Edition (Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Anecdotes, Best jokes, Jokes for Adults)


Adam Smith - 2016
    « Funny Jokes » is one of the best compilations of jokes in English that will surely hold your attention. In this book you can find all sorts of jokes that will amuse you and will create a good mood for you. Have fun reading these hilarious jokes!

The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary Of A Mad Housecat


Max Thompson - 2005
    With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. "The PsychoKitty Speaks Out" is the diary of Max, a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with both a disdain and a fondness for Sticky Little People, an addiction to Kitty Crack, and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. He began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003, and this is an expansion of that journal; all those dates when he didn't blog--they're here, in all his snarky glory.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up: Ridiculously Funny Stories By Real Cops


Mike Edwards - 2016
     So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.

The Fear: Biography of a Black Cat


Brett A. Fernau - 2014
    Read about his narrow escape from a terrifying human and his struggle to conquer the trauma of his early kittenhood.

Potty Mouth (Caverns & Creatures)


Robert Bevan - 2017
     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.

Mad Dog and The Englishman (Ethereals Book 1)


Jason Greenfield - 2015
    i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.

Fell for the Opp: Cj and Dove's Love Story


Aubry J. - 2021
    

Mad Dog Down the Road (Coyote Run Book 2)


Marta Acosta - 2020
    

A Sick And Twisted Coronavirus Christmas


Oliver Gaspirtz - 2020
    

Stinky Eddie The Monster That Farts


Kate Clary - 2014
    Good for readers in grades 1-3. Tyler has a monster called Eddie! He is a perfect monster at home- he is well mannered, helps Tyler practice his soccer skills and even cleans the house. But in public, it's a different matter! Eddie farts in public and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Not at all! Although Tyler pleads with him to stop, Eddie won't listen. It all ends in a way Tyler couldn't have imagined!

Autocorrect FAILS! Text Messaging Autocorrect Gone Horribly Wrong


THE CLOWN FACTORY - 2013
    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

Jessica Christ Volume 1: The Early Years


H. Claire Taylor - 2017
    Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…