Up the Amazon Without a Paddle


Doug Lansky - 1999
    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

2⁷ Nerd Disses: A Significant Quantity of Disrespect


Zach Weinersmith - 2013
    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

Breakfast, School Run, Chemo: The Sometimes Funny, Definitely Not Depressing, True Story of a Mum With Cancer


Julia Watson - 2015
    But with humour and courage, Julia faces the greatest challenge of her life – and in the process becomes the person she'd always wanted to be.A survivor of child abuse, brought up by a mother with mental illness, Julia was no stranger to adversity. After her daughter Georgie was born with Down syndrome, she thought she'd faced it all. But when doctors offer her the chance of risky but potentially life-saving surgery, Julia faces her toughest situation yet.Follow Julia and her family, as she writes her way through the crisis, chases her dreams, gets her dancing shoes on and discovers the lighter side of life with a colostomy bag.This is a candid, entertaining look at life with cancer and living each day with humour and hope.

Laughing IS Conceivable: One Woman's Extremely Funny Peek into the Extremely Unfunny World of Infertility


Lori Shandle-Fox - 2012
    uncertain of the outcome. It uses humor to de-stress infertility sufferers, their families and medical teams. It's relief for those who feel they just can't deal with infertility one minute more and that nobody truly understands. It's a fun and cheap gift for those friends and relatives who still don't "get it". It's a glimpse over the reception desk and at the other end of the examination table for medical professionals and their staffs who meet and treat infertile patients every day.It also has been widely read by those who know nothing or care nothing about infertility but enjoy the humor in life's daily angsts that we all can relate to.

How My Blog Got 1 Million Visits In 7 Months: A practical and straightforward guide to increasing traffic to your blog in your spare time - and without having to pay for advertising


Patric Morgan - 2015
    For some, blogging is a pastime, a hobby, something to fulfil a creative need. But some take blogging one step further. Many individuals, with no special training, are using their blog/s as a part-time or even a full-time job. You may already have a blog that could do with a few more visitors. Or maybe you’re thinking of setting up a blog but are not sure where to start. The question most people ask me is ‘How do I get visitors to my blog?’ It’s like setting up a shop on the High Street and facing the challenge of getting people in the door. The good news is – I have answers that will see your visitor count lift substantially. All you need is a computer, an internet connection and a brain (your own preferably). Here’s what you don’t need: money. This book answers your blogging questions in a practical and straightforward way. How My Blog Got 1 Million Visits In 7 Months has been designed to show you how to drive people to your blog – and how to keep them coming back, time after time. It’s designed for bloggers and for those who have websites that could do with more traffic. I’m a multi-award winning blogger and publisher and have been for over eight years. When I first started blogging, I got very excited to see that one person kept visiting my site. That was until I realised that the analytics was, in fact, counting me as a visitor. I’ve learned a lot since. My latest blog broke through the 1,000,000 visit mark after just 7 months. As a result, my blog is now a profitable business. I haven’t spent a penny on advertising and I spend about 30 minutes a day blogging at most. I’ve picked up a large-scale book deal as a direct result of my blog. In this book, I’ll show you the basics of setting up your blog; how to write content that people will just want to click on and share with their friends; how to create viral posts that will see your visitor statistics balloon; how to write content for your website that will sell your services or products; how to optimise your posts for search engines and how to make money from your blog. My promise to you is this - if you use the tips and tricks that I am about to show you, your site will get more traffic and you can start making money from it. These are proven techniques that you can start implementing on your blog straight away. Run the kind of blog that other bloggers envy. Be the kind of blogger that people marvel at. It’ll make you feel pretty good, I guarantee it. Find out how right now. *** “Patric Morgan's How My Blog Got 1 Million Visitors in 7 Months makes me sick! I've got 15,000+ people on my combined social media and I've never gotten even close to a million visits on my site. Screw you, Patric! However – I have read through his book and have found some cool tricks to steal and apply. Shh...don't tell him.” Vicki Abelson, Author of ‘Don't Jump’, published October '15 from Carl Reiner's Random Content. “What an absolutely incredible 'How to Guide'. This book will give you the tools you need to increase your web traffic and create a viral sensation from your blog or website. Follow the common sense approach within these pages and maybe you'll be writing your own success story very soon. A must read for any avid blogger trying to step up into the big leagues. Buy it now!” Nigel Shinner, Author of the critically acclaimed novel ‘From Within’ “It’s good to read something that actually delivers on the title of the book.

I Heart My Little A-Holes


Karen Alpert - 2013
    because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely decorate the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. So it’s only natural to want to kill them sometimes. Of course you can’t because you’d go to prison, and then you’d really never get to poop alone again. Plus, there’s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. Karen Alpert is the writer of the popular blog Baby Sideburns. You may have seen some of her more viral posts like “Ten Things I Really F’ing Want for Mother’s Day,” “Daddy Sticker Chart” and “What NOT to F’ing Buy My Kids this Holiday.” Or you may know her from her Facebook page that has over 130,000 followers. I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you’ll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Damn You Autocorrect! 2


Lyndsey Saul - 2013
    Ever been mortified by predictive text on your smart phone? You are not alone. This brings together more of the laugh-out-loud funny and painfully embarrassing posts from damnyouautocorrect.com, which highlight the hilarity that often ensues when text messaging goes wrong. This second volume of epic auto-correct fails is packed with never-before-seen content, as well as the most cringe-worthy posts from the site.

Why Your Prescription Takes So Damn Long to Fill


Drugmonkey, Master of Pharmacy - 2010
    I call your doctors office and am put on hold for 5 minutes, then informed that your prescription was phoned in to my competitor on the other side of town. Phoning the competitor, I am immediately put on hold for 5 minutes before speaking to a clerk, who puts me back on hold to wait for the pharmacist. Your prescription is then transferred to me, and now I have to get the 2 phone calls that have been put on hold while this was being done. Now I return to the counter to ask if we've ever filled prescriptions for you before. For some reason, you think that "for you" means "for your cousin" and you answer my question with a "yes", whereupon I go the computer and see you are not on file. The phone rings..." That's part of the reason why your prescription takes so long to fill, and after almost 20 years of this, a question I was never quite able to answer loomed larger and larger each day: "Why did I get into this profession?" Cranky customers whose only questions seem to involve their insurance co-pays. Pointless paperwork. People begging for early narcotic refills. Staff cuts. That was my workday. The struggle to get people the medicine and information they needed seemed almost futile at times. Then one day I got the answer. It hit me like a ton of bricks while driving home one spring evening along the California coast. I was born again, but it had nothing to do with Jesus. It did have a lot to do with a little plastic motorcycle. And I did become the pharmacist who saved Christmas. I absolutely know now why I became a pharmacist. I still don't know why your co-pay is so high.

Last of the Summer Wine: The Inside Story of the World's Longest-Running Comedy Series


Andrew Vine - 2010
    It premiered 37 years ago, in 1973, and, after 31 series it finally came to an end last year – even though all its original protagonists – Compo, Foggy, even Nora Batty – are now dead. Remarkably, for a series of such longevity and international appeal, it is all about elderly people, has little action or plot, and is set and filmed in and around the small Yorkshire town of Holmfirth. Now, Andrew Vine, the deputy editor of Yorkshire’s daily newspaper, has written the definitive history of this television phenomenon. It covers the show’s inauspicious beginnings, with low ratings, its endless reinvention as participants like Bill Owen, Michael Bates, Brian Wilde and Kathy Staff retired or died, the appearance of a string of guest stars from John Cleese and Norman Wisdom to Thora Hird and Russ Abbott (both of whom soon found themselves fixtures in the cast), and the ingenious plot contrivances as the protagonists became too old and frail to attempt any of the slapstick stunts with runaway prams – indeed any outdoor action. Holmfirth is now a year-round tourist attraction, and endless repeats and new DVD box sets will ensure a readership for this book for years to come.

Stay Away from my ER and other fun bits of wisdom: Wobbling between humor and heartbreak


Rada Jones - 2020
    You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

Perhaps I've Said Too Much (A Great Big Book of Messing with People)


Rodney Lacroix - 2013
    Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)

Calm Trader: Win in the Stock Market without Losing Your Mind


Holly Burns - 2015
    Benefit from someone with more than 20 years experience Steve has done the research so you don't have to. Each of these fourteen principles are part of what has made him successful for more than two decades. Avoid stress and make money These principles will help you build a strong trading foundation and keep you from succumbing to stressful situations that will cost you money. Principles to help you overcome stressful situations This book is not just about principles. It provides actionable exercises that will change the way you live and trade. In this book you will learn: To identify stressful situations that may be costing you money How to deal with these situations in a productive way To profit more and stress less Become a calm trader Don't run the risk of ruin by ignoring these important stock market principles. Learn to win in the stock market and save your sanity!

Be The Genius You Were Born To Be: 10 Secrets That Will Transform You Into A Superhuman


Harshajyoti Das - 2014
    Normal people like you and me. I want to help people with their lives. Hence, this book’s priced at 2.99 cents only. I have no money making agenda with this book. I have other channels to cash in. I don’t want to be a life coach. It doesn’t make sense to me. Why should I coach your life in a way that I think is right? What I really want is, to spread my knowledge and values. You have the liberty to either accept it or discard it. Chapters - At a Glance ➤ The Universe Has A Reason For Any And Everything ➤ Choose Love before Anything ➤ Dump your Phone ➤ What's Good is also Evil ➤ You need to get it right just once ➤ Join the 4 am club ➤ Activate Your Right-Brain To be More Human ➤ Dump Your Day Job ➤ Brainstorm Ideas like Einstein ➤ Invest Your Time When You Don’t Have Money Shit happens to all of us Shit happens and it has been happening to me since my childhood. Still, I am a very happy person. You will eventually know a lot about me after reading my books. Anyways, what define us are not our miseries but how we find a way to overcome it. I am sure there are things in life we all struggle with. This book’s focused on showing you a whole new way to live your life. Please keep an open mind while reading this book. Take in what you can accept and discard the rest. Only because these techniques or philosophies have worked for millions of others doesn’t mean it will work for you as well. We were all born to be a genius. We have such a powerful brain and a beautiful life. Our tragedies in life have swept us to another corner in the world where our ‘infinite opportunities’ have been entrapped among all our worries, challenges, and miseries. Let’s find a way back home. Shall we? Alright, let’s get started.... FREE AUDIOBOOK INCLUDED INSIDE Format: .mp3 Size: 19.8 Mb Time: 1:09:28

The Best of 2.13.61


Henry Rollins - 1998
    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.

The Inbetweeners: The Rudge Park Comprehensive Yearbook


Damon Beesley - 2011
    Completely original material by the show's writers references events in the show as well as giving character backstory and brand new stories about Will, Simon, Jay, and Neil. Readers should expect lots of rude words, lots of photos, and lots of pissing themselves laughing.