STFU, Parents: The Jaw-Dropping, Self-Indulgent, and Occasionally Rage-Inducing World of Parent Overshare
Blair Koenig - 2013
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll cringe at detailed descriptions of baby’s first blowout, but one thing’s for sure: You’ll never look at parenting the same again.
Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake
Anna Quindlen - 2012
It's odd when I think of the arc of my life, from child to young woman to aging adult. First I was who I was. Then I didn't know who I was. Then I invented someone, and became her. Then I began to like what I'd invented. And finally I was what I was again. It turned out I wasn't alone in that particular progression. As she did in her beloved New York Times columns, and in A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Quindlen says for us here what we may wish we could have said ourselves. Using her past, present, and future to explore what matters most to women at different ages, Quindlen talks aboutMarriage: "A safety net of small white lies can be the bedrock of a successful marriage. You wouldn't believe how cheaply I can do a kitchen renovation."Girlfriends: "Real friends offer both hard truths and soft landings and realize that it's sometimes more important to be nice than to be honest." Our bodies: "I've finally recognized my body for what it is, a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and in the years to come. It's like a car, and while I like a red convertible or even a Bentley as well as the next person, what I really need are four tires and an engine."Parenting: "Being a parent is not transactional. We do not get what we give. It is the ultimate pay-it-forward: We are good parents, not so they will be loving enough to stay with us, but so they will be strong enough to leave us." From childhood memories to manic motherhood to middle age, Quindlen uses the events of her own life to illuminate our own. Along with the downsides of age, she says, can come wisdom, a perspective on life that makes it both satisfying and even joyful. So here's to lots of candles, plenty of cake.
Torn: True Stories of Kids, Career & the Conflict of Modern Motherhood
Samantha Parent Walravens - 2011
“Women’s disillusionment with the career-family juggle has been escalating since the mid-1990s. The idea of women pursuing high-powered careers while also baking cookies and reading bedtime stories is increasingly seen to be unrealizable by ordinary mortals. Mothers today are getting real. They are freeing themselves from the unrealistic expectation to be everything to everybody (and look fabulous while doing it!). The Age of the Superwoman is dead." TORN touches on themes familiar to a wide audience. It gives voice to the hopes and fears of: anxious young professionals who are contemplating motherhood; parents overmatched by the competing responsibilities of work and family life; stay-at home mothers; and women trying to “on ramp” back into a career. In the end, the reader can take comfort in the knowledge the real challenge facing women today is not juggling their many roles, but reevaluating their expectations of what is possible and accepting that success does not equal “doing it all.”
Life Among the Savages
Shirley Jackson - 1953
But the writer possessed another side, one which is delightfully exposed in this hilariously charming memoir of her family's life in rural Vermont. Fans of Please Don't Eat the Daisies, Cheaper by the Dozen, and anything Erma Bombeck ever wrote will find much to recognize in Shirley Jackson's home and neighborhood: children who won't behave, cars that won't start, furnaces that break down, a pugnacious corner bully, household help that never stays, and a patient, capable husband who remains lovingly oblivious to the many thousands of things mothers and wives accomplish every single day."Our house," writes Jackson, "is old, noisy, and full. When we moved into it we had two children and about five thousand books; I expect that when we finally overflow and move out again we will have perhaps twenty children and easily half a million books." Jackson's literary talents are in evidence everywhere, as is her trenchant, unsentimental wit. Yet there is no mistaking the happiness and love in these pages, which are crowded with the raucous voices of an extraordinary family living a wonderfully ordinary life.
More Sand in My Bra: Funny Women Write from the Road, Again!
Julia Weiler - 2007
From Australia to Zambia and everywhere in between, these true stories are full of bust-a-gut laughter. Nothing helps a travel story more than something going wrong — the frustration, embarrassment, and inconvenience provide great material for stories once the anguish has faded. The adventurers here encounter just about every unexpected mishap imaginable.
Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right
Jamie Glowacki - 2011
Her 6-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here's the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20-30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie's got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you've ever said to yourself:** How do I know if my kid is ready? ** Why won't my child poop in the potty? ** How do I avoid "potty power struggles"? ** How can I get their daycare provider on board? ** My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? ** And what about nighttime?!Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn't theory, you're not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the ANSWERS you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.
Exploiting My Baby: Because It's Exploiting Me
Teresa Strasser - 2011
He got her a book deal. Everyone loves babies-and pregnant women-so TV and radio personality Teresa Strasser decided to use this obsession to her advantage. She came up with a way to provide for her newfound family and help other mommies-to-be with this down- and-dirty memoir about first-time pregnancy. An award-winning writer, Teresa is achingly honest about the motherhood she begins experiencing at age thirty-eight. With a biting sense of humor and heart, she portrays the tribulations that come with each trimester, from nausea, weight gain, and bladder infections to dealing with those other kinds of pregnant women. (You know the ones. The ones who glow-and gloat about it.) Exploiting My Baby is a must-read for anyone pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or who is just more crazy than baby-crazy. Hopping on a trail pioneered by such lions as Laura Ingalls Wilder, Erma Bombeck, and Tori Spelling, Teresa has no problem using her pregnancy, childbirth and difficult relationship with her own mother for material. It's her blunt and plain-spoken approach to exploiting her family for literary success that sets her apart.Watch a Video
The Diaper Diaries: The Real Poop on a New Mom's First Year
Cynthia L. Copeland - 2003
Hilarious, wise, and full of empathy, The Diaper Diaries helps new mothers maintain the one thing they can't survive without-a sense of humor. Cynthia Copeland, a mother of three, knows the real poop—figuratively and literally—on being a new mother, and she has the wit, skill, and generosity to share it. Illustrated throughout with the author's wonderful cartoons, The Diaper Diaries chronicles the first year of motherhood, from the hospital stay (nominees for the world's worst labor coach anyone?) to baby's first birthday and contemplating the unimaginable—having another. There are lists, quizzes, timelines, charts, and real-life stories. Birth announcement faux pas. Names and nicknames and what they really mean. Pacifier tales. A guide to Nana-speak. How a 4-mile car trip can take 2 hours. Why it's impossible to get to work without finding spit-up or rice cereal somewhere on your clothing. Ten reasons to be happy you're up at 3:15 a.m. And, with Mr. Phrenology-like illustrations, a section on the new mother's brain before and after baby, featuring: The Travel Section (Then: How to flirt your way into first class. Now: How to sweet talk your jogging stroller onto the plane), And The Sex Section (Then: Exact location of G-spot. Now: ________).
Of Mess and Moxie: Wrangling Delight Out of This Wild and Glorious Life
Jen Hatmaker - 2017
Women have been demonstrating resiliency and resolve since forever. They have incredibly strong shoulders to bear loss, hope, grief, and vision. She laughs at the days to come is how the ancient wisdom writings put it.But somehow women have gotten the message that pain and failure mean they must be doing things wrong, that they messed up the rules or tricks for a seamless life. As it turns out, every last woman faces confusion and loss, missteps and catastrophic malfunctions, no matter how much she is doing "right." Struggle doesn't mean they're weak; it means they're alive.Jen Hatmaker, beloved author, Big Sister Emeritus, and Chief BFF, offers another round of hilarious tales, frank honesty, and hope for the woman who has forgotten her moxie. Whether discussing the grapple with change ("Everyone, be into this thing I'm into! Except when I'm not. Then everyone be cool.") or the time she drove to the wrong city for a fourth-grade field trip ("Why are we in San Antonio?"), Jen parlays her own triumphs and tragedies into a sigh of relief for all normal, fierce women everywhere who, like her, sometimes hide in the car eating crackers but also want to get back up and get back out, to live undaunted "in the moment" no matter what the moments hold.
Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault
Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.
The Guilty Feminist: From Our Noble Goals to Our Worst Hypocrisies
Deborah Frances-White - 2018
My goals were noble but my concerns were trivial. I desperately wanted to close the pay gap, but I also wanted to look good sitting down naked.From inclusion to the secret autonomy in rom-coms, from effective activism to what poker can tell us about power structures, Deborah explores what it means to be a twenty-first-century feminist, and encourages us to make the world better for everyone.The book also includes exclusive interviews with performers, activists and thinkers - Jessamyn Stanley, Zoe Coombs Marr, Susan Wokoma, Bisha K. Ali, Reubs Walsh, Becca Bunce, Amika George, Mo Mansfied and Leyla Hussein - plus a piece from Hannah Gadsby.
Rants in the Dark: From One Tired Mama to Another
Emily Writes - 2017
Her writing is often done then, and she offers her own often hilarious and always heart-warming experiences to other exhausted parents. She describes the frustrations as well as the tender moments of real parenting, as opposed to what you thought it was going to be like, or what well-meaning advice-givers tell you it should be like.A must-have for all new parents and parents-to-be.Emily's blogs have been wildly popular, as have her on-line columns with New Zealand Woman's Weekly and The New Zealand Herald.
Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure
Larry Smith - 2008
When the online storytelling magazine SMITH asked readers to submit six-word memoirs, they proved a whole, real life can be told this way, too. The results are fascinating, hilarious, shocking, and moving. From small sagas of bittersweet romance ("Found true love, married someone else") to proud achievements and stinging regrets ("After Harvard, had baby with crackhead"), these terse true tales relate the diversity of human experience in tasty bite-size pieces. The original edition of Not Quite What I Was Planning spent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and thanks to massive media attention—from NPR to the The New Yorker—the six-word memoir concept spread to classrooms, dinner tables, churches, synagogues, and tens of thousands of blogs. This deluxe edition has been revised and expanded to include more than sixty never-before-seen memoirs. From authors Elizabeth Gilbert, Richard Ford, and Joyce Carol Oates to celebrities Stephen Colbert, Mario Batali, and Joan Rivers to ordinary folks around the world, everyone has a six-word story to tell.
True Mom Confessions: Real Moms Get Real
Romi Lassally - 2009
It wasn't with my husband." Romi Lassally provides a judgment-free zone where women can reveal their mommy misdemeanors. From not feeling like cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night, to barking something completely inappropriate to the children, to wanting to be pawed by hands that aren't covered in jelly, the confessions pour in daily. Heartfelt and hilarious, naughty and nasty, frank and outrageous, the confessions culled together for this book represent the best-or the worst?-of those humbling hidden secrets of motherhood in all its glorious messiness as improvisation and triage. They dare to suggest that it's okay for moms to make mistakes, to have unkind thoughts, to publicly or privately embarrass themselves-and above all to be human.
Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
Martha N. Beck - 1999
This "rueful, riveting, piercingly funny" (Julia Cameron) book is written by a Harvard graduate--but it tells a story in which hearts trump brains every time. It's a tale about mothering a Down syndrome child that opts for sass over sap, and it's a book of heavenly visions and inexplicable phenomena that's as down-to-earth as anyone could ask for. This small masterpiece is Martha Beck's own story--of leaving behind the life of a stressed-out superachiever, opening herself to things she'd never dared consider, meeting her son for (maybe) the first time...and "unlearn[ing] virtually everything Harvard taught [her] about what is precious and what is garbage.""Beck [is] very funny, particularly about the most serious possible subjects--childbirth, angels and surviving at Harvard." --New York Times Book Review"Immensely appealing...hooked me on the first page and propelled me right through visions and out-of-body experiences I would normally scoff at." --Detroit Free Press"I challenge any reader not to be moved by it." --Newsday"Brilliant." --Minneapolis Star-Tribune