Kevin Carver is a household name. A popular TV soap star, he’s coasting through life in the same semi-detached, slightly smug way he’s always done. But when he dumps his much-too-young-for-him girlfriend in the same callous way he’s come to treat those around him, he makes the first in a series of mistakes. One poor decision leads to another and, as Kevin wades deeper into a moral grey area, things go from bad to very much worse. The national treasure finds himself the subject of vitriolic press attacks, a police investigation, and so much public loathing he begins to wonder if he has any chance of receiving justice. As the line blurs between his own life and that of the character he plays on TV, Kevin must face the consequences of his actions if he is ever to right his sinking ship. The Star Witness is the story of one self-regarding man’s descent into disgrace and his journey back to join the human race. A pin-sharp satire on the shallows of modern media culture and the dysfunctional relationship we all have with the idea of ‘celebrity’, it will keep you laughing, cringing and guessing until the very last page.

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

    Pavle leaves town to think things over. Weeks later, a deformed corpse is found washed up on the banks of the Danube and is identifed to be that of Pavle. The case is judged a suicide. Three years later, Pavle, now "the deceased," unexpectedly returns. He discovers that his heirs have not only plundered his estate, but also refuse to recognize him as being "legally" alive, and they unite to keep him "dead" to maintain the status quo. This is the first English translation of a masterful and darkly comic play that will enter its rightful place as a world classic. The fluid and natural translation lends itself to theatrical production. Comically absurd, filled with existential angst, it was ahead of its time in 1937. At once vaudevillian and modernist, it is distinguished by clever plotting and stinging dialogue. The play stands as a lasting and caustic satire of human greed, strangely consonant with todays society.

    He’s started telling the truth at work. He’s borrowed a stack of cash from a man with a gun, a speech impediment and no grasp whatsoever of APR. He’s also taking drugs and – God help him – he’s started dancing. Badly. To trance. And now he’s on the run with a human version of Muttley and a teenage girl called Fish.Which is strange, because a few weeks ago Murray didn’t even burn the candle at one end. But when his doctors tell him he has only months to live, he gives his boring old self the boot, relaunches a new, improved Murray and falls in love with a passion he didn’t know was in him.His old self, of course, would tell him he’s digging his own grave. But he’ll be needing one of those soon enough anyway, won’t he?

    Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    The city lies under the dark cloud of the Troubles, and hatred fills the air like smoke. But Tony Macaulay has just turned twelve and he’s got a new job. He’s going to be a paperboy. And come rain or shine – or bombs and mortar – he will deliver…Paperboy lives in Upper Shankill, Belfast, in the heart of the conflict between Loyalists and Republicans. Bombings are on the evening news, rubble lies where buildings once stood, and rumours spread like wildfire about the IRA and the UDA.But Paperboy lives in a world of Doctor Who, Top of the Pops and fish suppers. His battles are fought with all the passion of Ireland’s opposing sides – but against acne, the dentist and the ‘wee hoods’ who rob his paper money. On his rounds he hums songs by the Bay City Rollers, dreams about outer space and dreams even more about the beautiful Sharon Burgess.In this touching, funny and nostalgic memoir, Tony Macaulay recounts his days growing up in Belfast during the Troubles, the harrowing years which saw neighbour fighting neighbour and brother fighting brother. But in the midst of all this turmoil, Paperboy, a scrappy upstart with a wicked sense of humour and sky-high dreams, dutifully goes about his paper round. He is a good paperboy, so he is.Paperboy proves that happiness can be found even in the darkest of times; it is a story that will charm your socks off, make you laugh out loud and brings to life the culture, stories and colourful characters of a very different – but very familiar – time.

    The two are half-sisters and have always fought: now their argument rages over the trainspotter. Is he doomed to eternal nerdiness or could he be taught to appreciate the finer things in life? Eupheme bets he can: in time for Gresham's engagement party she will have transformed him into a man that her sister would want to sleep with.

    Now he's inherited a billion dollar empire and a stake in a man-made island chain in the Gulf of Mexico. Trying to adjust to his new situation, he and his best friend, Paul Nelson, travel to the islands and soon find themselves being chased by killers, killer hippies and rhinos. They have no training. They can't trust anyone. But, they must escape and stop a plot that threatens America. Will they succeed? Will they live? Are rhinos nocturnal? Find out in Tortugas Rising, an action and adventure comedy by the author of Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors.

    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

    He just didn’t expect it to be so damn fickle.Felled by an assassin’s blade, he should be spending eternity carousing in the Hall of Avandoor. Instead, his spirit is bound to his decaying body by the enchanted sword of Brakslaagt. And unless he can hunt down the mysterious Lord Brand, who gave him the weapon so long ago, he is cursed to wander the earth forever as an undead wraith.So begins Boric’s extraordinary journey across the Six Kingdoms of Dis as a walking corpse who wants nothing more than to be disenchanted and left in peace. His is not an easy quest: along the way he is burned, riddled with arrows, and nearly blown to bits. But when he finally comes face-to-face with Lord Brand, Boric will discover that nothing - in life, in death, or in between - is exactly what it seems.

    . .  William Shakespeare had written The Big Lebowski? The Dude has met the Bard—and he doth abide. Join “The Knave” and Sir Walter on a wild tale of mistaken identity, kidnapping, bowling, and a rug that, in faith, really tied the room together—in a sidesplitting Shakespearean comedy of errors and ninepins, told in five glorious acts of iambic pentameter and impeccable period prose. Already a theatrical hit and a worldwide viral phenomenon, Two Gentlemen of Lebowski comes alive anew in this definitive and lavishly illustrated edition, featuring recently discovered historical engravings, scholarly annotations, and a revelatory afterword from the author.

    . . One batch of doughnuts . . . One ripple of resentment.Profit-hungry developers are swarming over Middleton, determined to see the local football ground turned into luxury flats. But they haven't counted on the spirited resistance of local baker, Bill Baxter, who vents his frustration at the developers' plans by neglecting to put jam into a batch of doughnuts. Unbeknown to Bill, a rogue jamless doughnut sets in train a ripple of irrational anger that grows, wave upon wave, until finally it threatens to swamp the entire nation, leaving careers ruined, fortunes won and Parliament in turmoil. But where will it end? And what will become of Bill and his beloved Middleton?Stand up comedian Dominic Holland delivers another slick slice of comedy that will have you roaring with laughter, rooting for the good guys and relegating the villains to the bottom of the table.

    But as he comes closer to his prize other questions present themselves. Is the androgenous Simona really worth it? Why doesn't she like sex? Is it possible to drink all day? With his unerring eye for absurdity and class satire Kingsley Amis shows us what happens when money meets naked ambition.

    Trump’s presidential archives, exposing documents from his childhood in Queens to his toddlerhood in the Oval Office. The Presidential Archives. Every other president has made a mess of it. Barack Obama is currently spending millions of dollars (probably trillions, if you want to know the truth) building a monument to himself. And they don’t even charge admission at these places! No wonder this country is a zillion dollars in debt. And what’s the point?!: These guys are already out of office and old news. We hate to say it, folks, but the presidential library is totally broken and needs to be made great again.America, we herewith present the FIRST AND ONLY presidential library to be released in real time, while the president is still in office. (Why delay?) But wait, THERE’S MORE! Who wants the hassle of having to go to some boring building in the middle of nowhere? (The Eisenhower Library is in Abilene, Kansas – yikes!) What if you could have your favorite president’s library delivered to your home, today! THAT’S NOT ALL! What if you could carry that library with you EVERYWHERE!Introducing THE DONALD J. TRUMP PRESIDENTIAL ARCHIVES: VOLUME 1. It’s all here: the 45th U.S. president’s letters, diaries, Oval Office recordings, Moscow hotel tapes, grand jury testimony, sealed indictments, financial records, subpoenas, dossiers, Michael Cohen recordings, AND SO MUCH MORE! It’s available now at the AMAZING PRICE of $24.99!* Never has wisdom been so accessible!It’s the last book you will ever need to buy. Or maybe just the last book published, period. Get yours NOW before the first amendment is abolished! *Offer not valid to employees of the U.S. Department of Justice. Don’t miss VOLUME 2: THE PRISON YEARS – coming soon! Hopefully!

    When Lassie and Murdock's game of "What Won't Murdock eat?" goes wrong, a trip to the emergency vet is in order. And when a crazed snake owner takes the vet hostage, it is up to Henry, Lassie, and Murdock to save the day. But they only have one hour. And the clock is ticking... *Disclaimer: THIS IS ONLY 40 PAGES LONG *Disclaimer about the disclaimer: 40 HILARIOUS PAGES :)