Lover. Bon viviant. Cad. Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is many things to many people. But 10 years after he lifted the Leinster Schools Senior Cup, Ireland's most beloved rogue remains one of its most misunderstood figures.

    In this scandalous memoir, America's favorite politician discusses his early years, before he became ultimate wingman to the leader of the free world. For the first time ever “Diamond” Joe discusses the formative experiences of his life, including his childhood selling hooch in Scranton, his years cruising college campuses picking up co-eds in a Del Rio, the grade-A tang he plowed in the summer of '87, and his "sweet ass gig" as Senator of Delaware. Speaking of his own work, Vice President Biden says, "Amigo, you're just one click away from buying Uncle Joe's tell all autobiography. My sweetest guitar riffs, bustiest lays, wildest benders, and sexiest appropriation bills, it's all in there. You'll not only hear about me and my buddy Barack, but I guarantee you'll pick up some tricks that'll serve you well in the sack. Plus, I'm deep in the hole right now and really need the scratch."

    Famous Writers School is composed of three aspiring authors' letters and stories sent to a correspondence course by that grandiose name, and the self-serving lessons that Wendell Newton, their endearingly obtuse instructor, doles out in response.Wendell's oddball collection of students includes Rio, an alluring blues singer on whom he quickly develops a crush; Linda Trane, an unhinged housewife who may be stalking him; and Dan, a truly talented author of hard-boiled detective fiction. As Dan's gritty mystery arrives piece by piece, Wendell gets hooked on the story--and decides to dress it up in his own style in order to pass it off as his creation.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    To make up for that missed final conversation - and in the hopes of impressing beautiful nurse Sophie - he engages in some good-willed acts of deception- posing as the neglectful relatives of lonely old people in the Peggy Day Aged Cared Home. But when he meets Tamara, a frail and sick 76-year-old with a son she hasn't seen in twelve years, who will really be deceiving who? The Good Son is a story about people fulfilling each other's needs, sometimes unexpectedly. It is about love and fear and relationships, and how we treat the elderly people in our lives. And it is about the difference between blood relatives and the families that we make by choice rather than by birth. And, like all good stories, it involves a road trip.

    The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.

    My Man Jeeves 1919Right Ho, Jeeves 1922Death At The Excelsior, Others 1914

    In the meantime, enjoy this freebie from God: OMG: How I Created the Universe, Adam, and Steve, which contains the first five chapters on the Creation of Adam and Steve (you read correctly) excerpted from The Last Testament.

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    Hal SpacejockAn incompetent space pilot, a massive debt and a twenty-four hour deadline...Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock has a life to die for: His very own cargo ship, a witty and intelligent flight computer ... and a debt so big it makes the GFC look like a rounding error.Hal's an upright sort of guy, and he won't take jobs from gun runners, drug smugglers or politicians. On the other hand, the finance company's brutal enforcer is on his doorstep, and Hal has barely twenty-four hours to pay him off. Miss the deadline and he - and his ship - will go under. Way, way, under.Faced with an impossible choice, Hal chooses an impossible job ... and gains an impossible new co-pilot into the bargain.Hal Spacejock is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)2. Hal Spacejock: Second CourseRex Curtis is trying to save his freight company from bankruptcy, and the last thing he needs is a cheeky freelancer stealing his best customers.Hal Spacejock, cheeky freelancer, is fighting for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business. The last thing he needs is a powerful enemy.Two headstrong men on a collision course, in a Galaxy barely room enough for one.Hal Spacejock: Second Course is book two in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)3. Hal Spacejock Just DessertsPlanet Cathua has a proud history where robots are concerned. Their legendary factories produced the best, the fastest, the most efficient robots in the Galaxy ... but no longer.Now they must go cap in hand to neighbouring planets, haggling and bartering for the very  robots they used to be so famous for.One Cathuan patriot is determined to reverse this embarrassing situation, and Hal Spacejock lands in the middle of his sinister plot ...Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is book three in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx  350 pages)Plus ... Hal Spacejock: VisitHal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition, and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this 3500-word short story. Visit slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock (book one), but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller which demands to be read.

     The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other new titles for Autumn 2016: How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the Meeting The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next DoorThe Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

     "A highly addictive read, which will keep many on the edge of their seats." "A well-written, heart-pumping, action-packed read." Readers' Favorite 5★ review “Hey, it’s me, Brian. Brian Ryan. I’m 14… well, next July I am. And I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not just some skateboard freak. Sure, I wipe out a lot, but I’m into the physics of the stunts and all. I even design my own stunts… which don’t always work out… but that’s why God invented band-aids, right?” Join Brian on his craziest day ever! Accused of a serious crime, he zips around the mean streets of his suburban middle school, staying one step ahead of the cops. On the day of the Xtreme Dream Games, will Brian be able to catch the real culprit and clear his name? If you like your middle grade fiction with a twist of James Bond, Zac Power and Secret Agent 6th Grader, you'll love 8th Grade Fugitive! From the writer of My Best Friend Is a Secret Agent, this mystery thriller chapter book is a fun adventure full of action and excitement for any reader - children, tweens, teens... and beyond! This funny who-done-it is the first in a series, so if you like it, there's more to come! (Don't forget to look for the surprise after Chapter 1!)

     Rowdy Talbot isn't the world's greatest bull rider. Not even close. But he lives by the cowboy code, and he never forgets to take off his cowboy hat during the national anthem. When Rowdy wins the rodeo in Crockett County, Colorado, he celebrates his triumph with two young Frenchwomen he meets in a local bar. The next morning, when he discovers that the two have left for Paris with the championship belt buckle he won, Rowdy does what any true cowboy would: he hops on a plane to the City of Light to retrieve it. What follows is a comic collision of cultures and personalities. In Rowdy in Paris, Tim Sandlin has concocted an unlikely but engaging mélange of characters: disaffected French revolutionaries, a turquoise-peddling CIA operative, and a middle-aged courtesan, all caught in a plot to destroy an American fast-food chain. At the center of the chaos is Rowdy himself, who finds as he searches for the belt buckle that there's another world beyond the back of a bull. By turns smart and satirical, biting and engaging, Rowdy in Paris is a surprisingly moving story about what it means to broaden one's horizons by opening one's heart.