In this "terminally irreverent" ( "Richmond News-Leader" ) novel, he finds himself taking on everyone from his editor and his girlfriend to the fundamentalists and vegetarians covered on his beat - and along the way, learns some surprising (and hilarious) lessons about life, love, and the press. • Welter's "I Want to Buy a Vowel," also a Berkley Signature Edition, was named one of "Booklist's" Best Books of 1996. • Great reviews in the Berkley Signature Edition tradition. • The author has been compared to everyone from John Irving to Jonathan Swift, Frank Capra to Carl Hiaasen, John Kennedy Toole to Dave Barry.

    Flip-flops are optional. All of your favorite hilarious Fun Stories gathered together in one place! Plus, extended versions of many of your laugh out loud favorites. PRAISE FOR FUN STORIES: “The offbeat & heartwarming humor kept me turning pages due to its rollicking adventures in every chapter. Your friends, loved ones, and co-workers will enjoy it too." "It's very funny and on point observational humor” “Has me laughing from beginning to end” "Similar to Dave Barry, Eric Idle, and Stephen Colbert's humor" “This guy's funny and charmingly off the wall” "Always thought coffee could get me through the midweek blues, but this blows it out of the water" "I love Fun Stories. Fantastic!" "Awesome stuff, really enjoyed the horse names. Great read." "Excellent and hilarious material here" INCLUDES ALL OF THESE AND MANY MORE: "Chick-fil-A Makes Me Feel Like Leonardo DiCaprio" "The Least Amount of Fame Possible (Old MacDonald)" "Cub Scout Dropout" "Not the Next Carrie Underwood" "Bigfoot Popcorn" "Gatorade For Your Soul" "Shamelessly Suggestive City Names" "I'm the Freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling" "Alright, Alright, Alright!" "Mind Game of Thrones" "Happy Friday (Mr. Pee Man)" "Clown Commuter Award" "How NASA Thins The Herd" "Crunchy Roads, Take Me Home" "Good Folks, Bad Coaching" "Ultimate Waitress Revenge" "Battle of the Bands" You'll be smiling for hours as the pages turn themselves. Three Fun Stories books have hit #1 on Amazon Humor. Five audio tracks from this book have hit the top 10 on the iTunes comedy chart. Click to download the book and start the fun! Need more info? If you enjoy the humor of these folks, you'll love reading Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Dave Barry, Dilbert, David Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Moore, Jim Gaffigan, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, Eric Idle, Erma Bombeck, Sebastian Maniscalco, Mindy Kaling, Jen Lancaster, Amy Lyle, The Far Side, Kevin Allison, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak, Sloane Crosley, Jimmy Fallon, Steve Martin, Judd Apatow, Adam Mansbach, Justin Halpern, Reader’s Digest, Dad Jokes, Garfield, Saturday Night Live, Friends, and The Office. Download Fun Stories Greatest Hits to start your next comedy adventure! Enjoy Fun Stories video posts at www.facebook.com/FunStoriesSeries. Get a free Fun Pack at www.mentalkickball.com. HUMOR, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT, PARENTING & FAMILIES, PARODIES, SATIRE, ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES, CELEBRITY & POPULAR CULTURE, COMEDY, CULTURAL, ETHNIC & REGIONAL, CARTOONS, JOKES & RIDDLES, MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, POP CULTURE, RADIO, TELEVISION, PERFORMING ARTS, FUNNY BOOKS, HUMOR ESSAYS, FUNNY SHORT STORIES, FUNNY MEMOIR, HUMOR MEMOIR, FUNNY BOOK CLUB BOOKS, FUNNY ESSAYS, HUMOR BOOKS, HUMOROUS BOOKS, GIFTS FOR DAD, FUNNY GIFTS, LAUGH, LAUGH OUT LOUD, FUN, FUN, FUN, MORE COWBELL COWBELL

    He is mistaken.Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals, and sent on a top secret mission for the President of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong...This box set collects the first three bestselling adventures of Cal Carver and the crew of the dread ship Shatner, by multi-award-winning author, Barry J. Hutchison: Space Team Space Team: The Wrath of Vajazzle Space Team: The Search for Splurt

    But there was nothing inherently special about them! They only knew to abide by an ancient rule of nature. Nature, in turn, rewarded them with strength, agility, and health.Your lifelong health is largely determined by what goes on inside your body at the microscopic level. Every meal you eat, beverage you drink, and moment of exertion or rest impacts your internal machinery. With the right intake of food, regular exercise, and an occasional break from both, your body begins to experience autophagy. And that is what this book is going show you!This book will teach you about: What is Autophagy and how it works How to age slower and be vigorous throughout your life Which foods make you live longer and build muscle How to promote health and longevity with intermittent fasting the various ways to fast the weight loss effects of fasting How to use autophagic processes to delay or prevent signs of aging Autophagy mistakes to avoid This manual is for everyone who values their life and health. It is for who is young and old alike who value healthy living and would like to keep their bodies and immune systems resilient to all forms of disease attack. The teachings of this manual are your ticket to a long, good life, without the fear of your body failing you any time soon. Buy this book right now and invest in your own health. You don’t have a second to lose! Just Click on “Buy now button” And Start Your Journey Toward a Healthier You Today!

    Early in their travels, it seems as though Brewer’s greatest challenge will be evading the wrath of a tyrannical captain who has taken an active dislike to him. But when a hurricane sweeps away the captain, the young lieutenant is forced to assume command of the damaged ship, and a crew suffering from low morale. Brewer reports their condition to Admiral Hornblower, who orders them into the Caribbean to destroy a nest of pirates hidden among the numerous islands. Luring the pirates out of their coastal lairs will be difficult enough; fighting them at sea could bring disaster to the entire operation. For the Defiant to succeed, Brewer must rely on his wits, his training, and his ability to shape a once-ragged crew into a coherent fighting force.

    But when she discovers the sweet side of her childhood friend, Anthony, she finds herself trapped in a dilemma. Anthony has found pleasure in teasing his best friend’s little sister. But, when one day he takes it too far and she walks off leaving him standing in front of the crowd, embarrassed and furious as he is, Anthony starts plotting his revenge, until the moment he realizes his heart beats only for her. Will he manage to make up for the chaos he has created? Will they follow their instincts and find their path to true love?Bride for the Sake of DutyEleanor has wished for true love ever since she was a little girl, but she has no other choice but to marry a man she knows nothing about, due to her father’s definite will. To make matters worse, her new husband leaves right after their nuptials for a trip overseas. When he returns after two years, he’s even more handsome than she remembers, but he still remains a complete stranger to her. Now that he is finally back home, Eleanor’s husband, Miles will find himself longing for something more than the sea. Will he finally find a place to call home in Eleanor’s eyes? Could Eleanor and Miles make up for the lost time and eventually fall in love?A Beauty for the Scarred DukeWhen the Earl of Upperton sells off his daughter Isabella as a bride for the disfigured Elliot Covington, Isabella feels terrified. Due to marry a man she has never met and whom she has believed to be a monster, she truly believes her life is over. What she has yet to discover, though, is that beneath the scars, there is a caring and kind gentleman. Isabella starts seeing Elliot’s inner beauty, but the moment they both realise they are meant to be together, outside powers will try to tear them apart. Will the Duke be able to let go of the pain and guilt that has swallowed him whole? Will two heartbroken souls find love when least expected?Her Duke in the MakingAnne believes to have found her other half until she finds herself obliged to prepare the new Duke of Somerset for his first Season. The handsome Duke, who has recently returned from America, has to adjust to a new lifestyle and be taught proper British manners. Luckily for him, Anne agrees to be his mentor, but with a condition; he will need to help Anne convince her family that Lord Rawley is the perfect match for her. Their plans will take an unexpected turn, though, when the Duke falls hopelessly in love with the enchanting woman and realises that it might be destiny that brought them together. Could Anne’s unusual agreement with the dashing Duke lead to more than she ever dreamt of?Kind Ella and the Charming DukeAfter her father’s death, Ella is devastated when her mother marries the Earl of Dandridge.The Earl is the cold hearted father of two spoiled young ladies in search of a suitor. When Rufus, Duke of Hillington, is reported to be searching for a suitable bride, the Earl will plot the most appalling schemes to hide Ella away. Ella’s rebellious heart makes her defy the orders to abstain from the Duke’s masquerade ball. After encountering the mysterious lady, Rufus cannot take his mind off of her. Will Ella and Rufus escape the Earl’s evil plans? Will they eventually have the happily-ever-after they both deserve?If you love clean Regency romances that feature dynamic and inspiring women of the era and determined, yet charming, male protagonists, then you are going to love this collection!

    What’s the man to do? Leave the bathroom and say nothing on the matter? Or, take matters into his own hands?THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, all combined with a twist of Nordic Noir (human folly, abrupt and plentiful deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It’s glittering darkness, and clouded light.Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

    Live well, laugh often, love much and share God's blessings. We all know that laughter is the best medicine, and this is true, Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. Read our collection of jokes and funny short stories. These jokes and funny stories are collected from different sources in the Internet. Download our book now, and laugh out those stress away. Please note that this book is categorized under Jokes for Adults and may contain some offensive jokes and stories, and it is your discretion as a customer whether to share the jokes and stories with others.

    Pills’ Pharmacy Hub comes a book about some of the wildest customers that pharmacists have dealt with in retail pharmacy. Journey into the world of retail pharmacy with 80 hilarious short stories: a world where people are not that bright but always think they are right, and where the word patience doesn’t exist. A world with druggies coming up with some not-so-clever schemes to get their fix. A world where people think throwing ice cream in your face is an acceptable way to get your attention. A world with a new twist at every turn--just when you think you’ve seen everything, someone always finds a way to surprise you.

    He couldn’t help himself; he was going for a ride with aliens from outer space! The aliens wouldn’t tell him where he was going, how long he would be gone, or if he was ever coming back, but a space trip sounded like more fun than beer and burgers at Benny’s Been There and Done That Bar and Grill. He had to go. “A BRILLIANT NOVEL!” says Melanie Tighe, reviewer for The CitySunTimes, Phoenix, Arizona Larry’s ride into deep space wasn’t just a Sunday jaunt. This space-faring species was in danger of being wiped off the galactic map. They offered Larry a ride because his assistance was vital to their survival, but they were xenophobic to the point of barely tolerating Larry in the same room. He was willing to help, but what could he do? Could he live long enough to save himself? What skills did Larry have to save an alien species threatened with annihilation? Every time he asked them for information, they stonewalled him.

    

    

    Races operating within their own planetary systems are to be left alone until they begin to develop the ability to travel at FTL (faster than light speeds). When the ability to travel at FTL becomes apparent, one of the members of the Federation is nominated to help ease the newcomer through the Galactic citizenship process. Unfortunately, not all the galaxies systems belong to the Federation, and some of those systems are much less than friendly. The last several decades have seen the development of war like societies that systematically loot developing planets. They take the water, and other precious resources, including slaves, leaving the remaining native inhabitants a barren planet. Without resources the population simply dies a slow death. The Egolari are here because we, meaning the people of Earth, happen to possess a skill set and an aptitude that is critical to the needs of the Federation. The major problem within the Federation is that virtually all the members have, for centuries been living in peace. They have developed a society that is not well suited to counter the growing violence presented by the nonaligned races. In short, they have no way to protect themselves, let alone protect the fledgling races just arriving on the galactic scene. Enter Earth. Of all the emerging races to become future galactic members, one has a superior potential to face the violence threatened by the nonaligned races. You guessed it, Humanity. The Federation realized that to continue to function as an organized galactic society, they would have to develop a military arm that could provide the Federation and emerging systems the protection of a fleet of space vessels and marines. Humanity was the race most capable of leading the development of that military organization because we had not progressed so far that our war like tendencies had begun to erode. Although we were not yet ready for galactic membership, we were a necessity that could fill the need, thus we were getting a crash course in how to travel the galaxy, protecting ourselves and the Federation with the full expectation that we would go where no human has gone before, and kick some alien ass.

    Always close the door when you’re in here with me.” My new boss is cold, calculating, and demanding. His name is Jett Davenport, and it suits him perfectly. His eyes are black. Jet black. I’ve never seen eyes that color or that intense. Nothing I do is ever good enough for him, and with each mistake I make, with each unwritten rule that I break, the consequences get worse and worse. Until finally he begins calling me into his office. He whispers in my ear that I can’t come until he tells me to. He touches me until I bite my lip to keep from screaming. He’s constantly in control, taking me to the edge and then pulling me back. He claims his number one rule is that he will never, ever sleep with an employee. But even if he slips up, one thing I can be sure of is that he will never stay with me for long. Never love me. Never marry me and keep me safe. Because if there’s one thing I can be absolutely certain Jett Davenport will break, it’s my heart…

    He's a charismatic police officer married to a gorgeous school teacher named Lauren and life is filled with love, fame, and tight-knit friends. But after their children disappear, a perfect marriage slowly begins to crumble.Desperate for answers, Josh travels down a dangerous path fraught with betrayal and lies. A calculated killer discovers his dark secrets and he'll stop at nothing for revenge. Left with no other choice, Josh must reveal his troubled past, which shatters the lives of those closest to him.Once Josh discovers the shocking truth about his missing children, nothing will ever be the same.