Book picks similar to
Selfish Path to Romance: How to Love With Passion & Reason, Inspired by Ayn Rand by Edwin A. Locke
philosophy
psychology
non-fiction
objectivism
Codependency - “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”: Learn How To Cultivate Healthy Relationships, Overcome Relationship Jealousy, Stop Controlling Others and Be Codependent No More
Simeon Lindstrom - 2014
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If you’ve had difficulty with starting or maintaining relationships, issues with feeling jealous and possessive or find that your connections with others are more a source of distress than anything else, this book is for you. It may feel sometimes that an intense and serious connection with someone is proof of the depth of the feeling you have for one another. But be careful, obsession and dependency is not the same as love. In the codependent relationship, our affection and attention is coming from a place of fear and need. As a result, the partners never really connect with each other. They do endless, complicated dances around each others problems, but what they never do is make an honest human connection. In codependent relationships, manipulation, guilt and resentment take the place of healthy, balanced affection. Codependent partners are not necessarily together because they want to be, they are because they have to be, because they don’t know how to live otherwise. One partner may bring a history of abuse, a “personality disorder” or mental illness into a relationship; the ways the other partner responds to this may be healthy or not, but if they bring their own issues to the table too, they may find that the bond of their love is more accurately described as a shared and complementary dysfunction. Remember, the relationships we are in can never be better than the relationships we have with ourselves. Two unhappy people together never make a happy couple together. We cannot treat other people in ways we have never taken the time to consider before, and we cannot communicate properly if we are not even sure what it is we need to communicate in the first place. An individual with a mature, well-developed sense of themselves has the most to offer someone else. They have their own lives, their own sense of self-worth, their own strength. And when you remove need, fear, obsession and desperation, you open up the way for love and affection just for its own sake. Love is many things, but it’s cheapened when held hostage by the ego. Connections formed around ego and fear may be strong and lasting, but what keeps them going is mutual need. What could be more romantic than, “I don’t need to be with you. You don’t complete me at all. I am happy and stable and fulfilled without you. But I still want to be with you, because you’re awesome”? It all boils down to this: communication. Whether it’s through words or not, we are constantly communicating, and the accumulation of these little units creates this big thing we call a relationship.
The Women on My Couch: More Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy
Brandy Engler - 2015
Dr. Brandy Engler, psychologist and sex therapist, allows readers access into the therapy room to witness how women are handling dilemmas such as: a husband’s proposal for a threesome, post- wedding disappointment, a new lover’s unusual kink, the temptation to cheat, love vs. singlehood, using sex work to pay for college loans and the ubiquitous loss of sexual desire.The Women on My Couch gives women a voice, and helps them find their voice, in a rapidly changing culture, where freedom is both liberating and confusing, exhilarating and at times disappointing. Women will see their lives mirrored back to them with honesty, warmth and humor.
Kiss and Run: The Single, Picky, and Indecisive Girl's Guide to Overcoming Fear of Commitment
Elina Furman - 2007
Today, single women are the fastest-growing segment of the population, with over forty-seven million single women in this country and twenty-two million of them between the ages of twenty-five and forty-four. Whatever the reasons -- fear of divorce, increased financial independence, delayed motherhood -- more women than ever no longer feel the urgency, or the ability, to settle down. Lucky for this growing group of women, author and former commitment-phobe Elina Furman has written Kiss and Run, the first-ever book about female commitment anxiety. Filled with fun quizzes, first-person testimonials, and step-by-step action plans, Kiss and Run includes the top-five panic buttons, advice for curbing overanalysis, and tips for fixing negative commitment scripts. You'll also find the seven types of commitment-phobes, including the Nitpicker, the Serial Dater, and the Long-Distance Runner. Based on the stories of more than one hundred women, this straight-talking guide helps single women conquer commitment anxiety and say yes to love.
Victim of Thought: Seeing Through the Illusion of Anxiety
Jill Whalen - 2017
As it turns out, we were sold a pack of lies! What if the only thing causing your anxiety is your own thoughts? And what if underneath your anxious thinking was your true, perfect self--whole and healthy and untouched by all your fears? How would this change your life? For Jill Whalen, understanding this information switched off a lifetime of anxiety and addictive behaviors. In Victim of Thought: Seeing Through the Illusion of Anxiety, Jill describes how she spent over 50 years in a constant state of anxiousness. While she could feel fine one minute, she never knew what might be lurking around the corner that could seemingly disturb her peace. It was only when she learned the simple truth of where her anxiety was really coming from--and that underneath it was her innate well-being--that she no longer was a victim to it. In this easy to read and understand book, Jill logically explains how having one or more insightful "aha moments" can wipe away a lifetime of anxious thinking. She shares numerous relatable stories and examples from her own life to help you see the truth in her words. Jill also provides you with step-by-step instructions to become more aware of your own thoughts, which in turn puts you back in the driver's seat of your life. But the proof is really in the pudding, and Jill encourages you at every turn seek your own examples and evidence of how you've let yourself become a victim of your own thoughts. Once you see this for yourself, your life and your anxiety will magically transform before your eyes! If you're tired of believing that you're a victim to your anxiety, and are looking for a more peaceful life, then this book is for you. ======================================================================= INITIAL REVIEWS "The book was fascinating, particularly as someone who also struggles with anxiety. I think you did a great job of explaining the concepts to a layperson. I particularly found both the Thought Stream and also the Thoughts Storm as a snow globe metaphors extremely effective! It's very easy to relate to and very eye-opening. Hopefully I can find a way to start practicing some of this thought work into my own life! The idea that our normal state is peace - so simple, but so difficult to realize without it being pointed out!" - Ashley R. "I love your book. It's so wise and clear. I'm very grateful that you sent me a copy!" - Ingrid M. "I found the thought processes you speak of very enlightening and it does seem to make the complex reasons for anxiety simpler to understand." - Cyndy F. "It's great! Well written and flows well. I like that you began with your story and laid things out really nicely. The separate sections are super helpful and make logical sense to anyone who is new (or old) to the concept. Overall this book is VERY needed and useful and just has a really nice feeling to it as well. I think it would also be a reference for someone who has anxiety. A book they go back to when they get caught up in their thoughts." - Lana B.
Good News About Sex & Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching
Christopher West - 2000
He provides thoughtful responses that present Catholic Church teaching in a fresh, thoroughly appealing, and convincing manner. Foreword by Charles J. Chaput.
Lit!: A Christian Guide to Reading Books
Tony Reinke - 2011
Whether books are your addiction or your phobia, Lit! offers up solid advice to help you think about reading in fresh ways.With all the practical suggestions built on a firm gospel foundation, this book will help you flourish in the essential skills necessary for a balanced reading diet of Scripture, serious works of theology, and moving devotional works, but without overlooking the importance of how-to books from expert practitioners, the storytelling genius of historians, and rich novels written by skilled artists of fiction.Literature scholar Leland Ryken calls Lit! “a triumph of scholarship,” but mostly it’s a practical and unpretentious book about the most urgent skills you need to enjoy a luminously literate life in honor of God.
The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life
Piero Ferrucci - 2005
Piero Ferrucci, one of the world's most respected transpersonal psychologists, explores the many surprising facets of kindness and argues that it is this trait that will not only lead to our own individual happiness and the happiness of those around us, but will guide us in a world that has become cold, anxious, difficult, and frightening.Piero Ferrucci warns against the dangers of "global cooling." As the pace of living grows faster and the impact of new technologies more insistent, communications become hurried and impersonal. The drive for profit overrides the heart. Warmth and genuine presence fade. In eighteen interlocking chapters, Dr. Ferrucci reveals that the kindest people are the most likely to thrive, to enable others to thrive, and to slowly but steadily turn our world away from violence, self-centeredness, and narcissism- and toward love. Writing with a rare combination of sensitivity and intellectual depth, Dr. Ferrucci shows that, ultimately, kindness is not a luxury in our world but rather a necessity for us all.
The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature
Geoffrey Miller - 2000
Psychologist Geoffrey Miller offers the most convincing-and radical-explanation for how and why the human mind evolved.Consciousness, morality, creativity, language, and art: these are the traits that make us human. Scientists have traditionally explained these qualities as merely a side effect of surplus brain size, but Miller argues that they were sexual attractors, not side effects. He bases his argument on Darwin's theory of sexual selection, which until now has played second fiddle to Darwin's theory of natural selection, and draws on ideas and research from a wide range of fields, including psychology, economics, history, and pop culture. Witty, powerfully argued, and continually thought-provoking, The Mating Mind is a landmark in our understanding of our own species.
The Wisdom We're Born With: Restoring Our Faith in Ourselves
Daniel Gottlieb - 2014
Gottlieb, who suffered a traumatic injury that left him a quadriplegic over 30 years ago, is uniquely qualified to offer wise counsel on the relationship between what we want and what we have. He offers his thoughts on breaking patterns and habits, calming the unquiet mind, reconnecting with our emotions and our bodies, living in the moment, discovering that ineffable “something” that defines who we are—and above all, the importance of love.
The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating
David M. Buss - 1994
Based on the most massive study of human mating ever undertaken, encompassing more than 10,000 people of all ages from thirty-seven cultures worldwide, The Evolution of Desire is the first book to present a unified theory of human mating behavior.Now in an updated edition with two new chapters by the author, The Evolution of Desire presents the latest research in the field, including starting new discoveries about the evolutionary advantages of infidelity, orgasm, and physical attractiveness.
Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto
Anneli Rufus - 2003
Rene Descartes. Emily Dickinson. Greta Garbo. Bobby Fischer. J. D. Salinger: Loners, all -- along with as many as 25 percent of the world's population. Loners keep to themselves, and like it that way. Yet in the press, in films, in folklore, and nearly everywhere one looks, loners are tagged as losers and psychopaths, perverts and pity cases, ogres and mad bombers, elitists and wicked witches. Too often, loners buy into those messages and strive to change, making themselves miserable in the process by hiding their true nature -- and hiding from it. Loners as a group deserve to be reassessed -- to claim their rightful place, rather than be perceived as damaged goods that need to be "fixed." In Party of One Anneli Rufus--a prize-winning, critically acclaimed writer with talent to burn -- has crafted a morally urgent, historically compelling tour de force -- a long-overdue argument in defense of the loner, then and now. Marshalling a polymath's easy erudition to make her case, assembling evidence from every conceivable arena of culture as well as interviews with experts and loners worldwide and her own acutely calibrated analysis, Rufus rebuts the prevailing notion that aloneness is indistinguishable from loneliness, the fallacy that all of those who are alone don't want to be, and wouldn't be, if only they knew how.
Ducy?: Exploits, Advice, and Ideas of the Renowned Strategist
David Sklansky - 2010
The book is fantastically illuminating, well written, works as a kind of autobiography, and Al's input is effective as commentary." You will probably feel the same way by seeing how creatively combining math, logic, psychology, and probability theory can solve problems you might have previously regarded as unsolvable. Your ability to identify and even manipulate other people's thoughts and desires should improve, as well as your ability to understand and resist other experts who attempt to do the same thing. And this book will almost certainly put money in your pocket.The title, DUCY?, was taken from our forums at www.twoplustwo.com's. To encourage people to think better, David would often ask, "Do you see why?" before fully explaining his conclusions or advice. Forum participants c
Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work
Paul Babiak - 2006
Now, Dr. Paul Babiak and Dr. Robert D. Hare return with a revised and updated edition of their essential guide.All of us at some point have—or will—come into contact with psychopathic individuals. The danger they present may not be readily apparent because of their ability to charm, deceive, and manipulate. Although not necessarily criminal, their self-serving nature frequently is destructive to the organizations that employ them. So how can we protect ourselves and our organizations in a business climate that offers the perfect conditions for psychopaths to thrive?In Snakes in Suits, Hare, an expert on the scientific study of psychopathy, and Babiak, an industrial and organizational psychologist and a leading authority on the corporate psychopath, examine the role of psychopaths in modern corporations and provide the tools employers can use to avoid and deal with them. Together, they have developed the B-Scan 360, a research tool designed specifically for business professionals.Dr. Babiak and Dr. Hare reveal the secret lives of psychopaths, explain the ways in which they manipulate and deceive, and help you to see through their games. The rapid pace of today’s corporate environment provides the perfect breeding ground for these "snakes in suits" and this newly revised and updated classic gives you the insight, information, and power to protect yourself and your company before it’s too late.
The Joy of Not Thinking: A Radical Approach to Happiness
Tim Grimes - 2019
When I was sixteen, I had a mental breakdown. It happened while I was on vacation in the Caribbean with my family. I’d been reading an old Zen book, and it did me in. I’d experienced some strange mental states before, but this was different. As I read this book, death moved to the foreground of all my thoughts—and then stayed there. I found myself in a tropical paradise, terrified. Living seemed too cruel to carry on with. Buddha had said all life was suffering and all that meant was that everything was hopeless. There was no way out. Escape was impossible. When you looked at things soberly, it was obvious. Life, inevitably, was really just suffering and death. I kept this anxiety to myself as best I could. There was nothing to say anyway. No one could help. I was helpless, mortified, but aware that I was unable to do anything about it. The stress began to wear on my body. It felt worse and worse. I would have killed myself right there if death didn’t scare me even more than life. I reasoned if I killed myself at least this particular suffering would be over. These feelings peaked and then went on, and on, and on. At some point, I took a drive with my family to a beach on the other side of the island. It was bad. My insides felt as if they were being torn out. I didn’t understand what was happening. I felt like vomiting but couldn’t. Finally, we arrived at the beach. I sat under a tree, in the shade, trying to act sane. And then I thought I died. Something happened and then nothing. And then there was something again. I don’t know. Was I dead? I looked around and realized I wasn’t. I was on the beach, under a tree. But there was no “I.” Everything was different. Everything had dropped off. Where was “I”? I didn’t exist. What was happening? What was this? It was indescribable. You couldn’t describe this. Any description was pointless. Everything was perfect just as it was, but at the same time, it wasn’t that. Because there was no everything. There was nothing at all. There was no need to describe anything ever again because there was nothing. Words and description were meaningless. Nothing was real. Nothing mattered! And this was, undoubtedly, the best news possible. The greatest realization I could wish to have. Yet that couldn’t begin to explain how good this was. It was way beyond any conception I could come up with. Everything, and everybody, was saved. That was clear. Everything was fine—now and forever. Nothing needed to be done, ever. The whole thing—life, death, reality, individuality, good, bad, right, wrong—was a lie. An illusion. A sham. Everything just was—just is. And this was perfection, beyond any belief, rationalization or label I could ever put on it. It made no sense, and it was perfect. It was before time itself. It transcended thought, was past my comprehension. Thought created all this suffering—and thought itself was not real. Without thought, all was grace—always. It was all blissfully and blatantly simple, yet totally illogical. I sat on that beach, thunderstruck. It was laughable. Whatever you thought, it didn’t matter. Thought had nothing to do with anything real. Everything was always perfect, no matter what you thought…
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
Byron Katie - 2002
Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work. The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You’ll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work’s power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible. If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls “a lover of reality.”