He's endured close confinement with a hostile camel. He even narrowly averted being the star attraction in a Satanic ritual sacrifice. Yet, despite handling these crises with aplomb, poor Midnight is ill-prepared for his latest, greatest adventure: a perilous foray into the affairs of the heart. He knows all there is to know of love that a farm can teach - but will it be enough to see the young goat through his darkest and most trying times?Midnight's Tale is a 12,000-word literary story of life and love in the treacherous, apple-laden world beyond the comforts of the barn.

    Too often, conservatives have kept silent in the face of insanity, inanity, and outright idiocy. That ends here!From mocking Democrat poobahs and Hollywood nitwits to beating on the wimps at the helm of the GOP, "I Am a Conservative" goes straight for the throat and says what everyone else only dares to think.

    With these characters William will make us laugh and cry. And never again will we think that someone is just a regular bloke - everyone can be a king or a queen in their own suburb.

    In this book, you’ll find a bit of everything including the usual helicopter parents and awful administration, horrendous student behavior with no consequences, and crazy-ass parents and their insane requests. But you’ll also find weirdly entertaining stories about a little kid with a foot fetish, a group of teachers chasing a naked kid around the school parking lot, and two pregnant sisters fighting over the same baby daddy on the first day of school. There’s plenty of gross stuff, like all the strange places kids put their poop and dirty maxi pads, a Barbie in a butthole, and kids who masturbate in class and hump desks. Unlike her other books, Morris included a sprinkling of tales that will break your heart and a few that will give you the warm and fuzzies we all need to keep going. This book is hilarious, shocking, heartwarming, sad, gross, and sometimes inspiring because that is what teaching is really like.

    Also included are guidelines detailing what to expect on the driving test, practical information on different stages of the test, and additional information such as route planning and UK mapping.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    He calls for boycotting Canada, says Adolf Hitler would have been a card-carrying member of the ACLU, and thinks Hurricane Katrina victims seen carrying televisions should be shot on sight. Amann and Breuer – the creators of the hugely popular website www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com — take a close look at O'Reilly's own assertions and arguments — taken from his TV and radio shows, books and columns — to expose him for what he is: a self-righteous boob and a sham newsman. The ongoing themes explored in Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly are that O'Reilly is a bit crazy, not all that sharp and, as the authors put it, about "as self-aware as a legume." The result is a hilariously funny book, a great read for anyone who enjoys seeing a puffed-up blowhard taken down a notch or two — whether they're an O'Reilly hater, fan, or something in between.

    Join this pregnant mom of two as she journeys yet again through the rough and tumble life of a pregger. Boldly proclaiming taboo truths on those touchy subjects that books gloss over and doctors 'forget' to mention.

    In Glasgow, in the 1980s neither the Police nor the Public could understand why grown men were fighting over the rights to sell ice cream, the violence was extreme, and the streets of the housing estates were turned into war zones. Crowds of youths gathered on the street corners, while adults hung from their flat windows watching real-life scenes far more exciting than anything they could see on TV the smashing of Ice cream vans and cars, slashings and stabbings of rival Ice cream men were a nightly occurrence. And the reason behind the violence was that you could earn more money selling Ice cream than you could from selling drugs. The lack of shops in the vast run-down housing estates with thousands of families who had money to spend was a captured market providing an excellent living for the Italian families who controlled the Ice cream trade in Glasgow. Tam McGraw was building a reputation as an up and coming gangster who led a team that specialised in post office, factory, and cash and carry raids throughout Scotland. Tam McGraw realised that he could earn a lot more money a much easier way than robbing post offices, he could sell Ice cream. But first Tam had to test the strength of the Italians and the reaction of the police. McGraw went for the jugular right from the start. He knew Marchetti would not give in easily, and they would try to defend their territory. So he started with Carntyne one of Marchetti's most lucrative routes. Marchetti Brothers were about to suffer brutality and destruction of a kind they could never have imagined in their wildest nightmares. McGraw planned to be the Ice Cream King of Scotland, and Carntyne is where he would lay the foundations of his throne. Nothing or no one would stand in his way. This is the real story of the Glasgow Ice Cream Van Wars. The shocking violence mixed with a decent portion of Glaswegian humour will keep you turning the pages until the end. Written in a broad Glaswegian dialect with a lot of swearing, the author writes as he speaks. This book might not be suitable for those who prefer perfect grammar and proper English. But if you can see past that then I am sure you will find it an enjoyable read. Teddy Rennoc.

    

    Updated just in time for 2016, this guide is the freshest on the market. Amazon Echo is not just a piece of hardware, it is not just the cylindrical product it appears to be. It is a revolutionary facilitator of your dream lifestyle, and the great news is that it just keeps on improving with every update! Amazon Echo takes the Intelligent Personal Assistant market from binary to human. The times of receiving unconvincing, often unhelpful and completely robotic responses from our devices is over and Echo is here to lead the way. Aside from covering the basics in detail, from unpacking to set-up to synchronization with your home devices, this user guide will cover the full range of features on offer with your Amazon Echo. Changing your wake word Understanding and using your Dialog History Controlling parts of your home with your voice How to use the Amazon Echo app How to get Echo to give you information, from live sports scores to the weather in Dubai! How to stream music through Echo's impressive speakers How to shop with your voice Why you will never need an alarm clock again How to handle the Kitchen with Echo's help Travel and traffic information specific to your journey or commute How to manage your shopping and to-do list How to enjoy Audibles wide range of audio books with your Amazon Echo Getting the latest news Some funny little Easter eggs that are built into the device! And plenty more! Amazon Echo is changing people's lives all over the world and this guide will help you change your own. If you are deciding whether to purchase the device, have a read through my guide and I'm certain by the time you are finished, there will be only one option in your mind! This book is available through Kindle Unlimited.

    

    Here's how Dr Coleman describes this book: `However good your doctor is, and however much you may trust him or her, you must share the responsibility for your own health, and you must know when to tell your doctor if you think that the treatment with which he or she is providing you, could be causing problems. After all, if things go wrong, your nice friendly doctor is more likely to kill you than is a burglar a deranged relative or a drunken motorist. Remember: one in six people in hospital are there because they have been made ill by a doctor. I have built this book around ther twelve basic laws of medicine which I have, over the years, formulated for my own benefit as a doctor, an observer and a patient. I have illustrated each of the 12 laws with clinical anecdotes and scientific data.' Here, for example, is Coleman's First Law of Medicine: `If you are receiving treatment for an existing disease and you develop new symptoms then, until proved otherwise, you should assume that the new symptoms are caused by the treatment you are receiving.' Dr Vernon Coleman is the author of over 100 books - many of them international bestsellers. His books have sold over two million copies in hardback and paperback in the UK alone and have been translated into 25 languages. Dr Coleman has written columns and articles for many of the world's leading newspapers and magazines and has presented numerous TV and radio programmes based on his books. In the mid 1980s he devised the world's first medical software for use on home computers. For more information about Dr Coleman's books please see the Vernon Coleman page on Amazon or visit www.vernoncoleman.com What the papers say: Vernon Coleman writes brilliant books - Good Book Guide The calmest voice of reason - The Observer A godsend - Daily Telegraph Brilliant - The People No thinking person can ignore him - The Ecologist Marvellously succinct, refreshingly sensible - The Spectator Probably one of the most brilliant men alive today - Irish Times King of the media docs - The Independent Britain's leading health care campaigner - The Sun Britain's leading medical author - The Star Perhaps the best known health writer for the general public in the world today - The Therapist The patient's champion - Birmingham Post A persuasive writer whose arguments, based on research and experience, are sound - Nursing Standard The doctor who dares to speak his mind - Oxford Mail He writes lucidly and wittily - Good Housekeeping The man is a national treasure - What doctors don't tell you Compulsive reading - The Guardian His message is important - The Economist Revered guru of medicine - Nursing Times His advice is optimistic and enthusiastic - British Medical Journal It's impossible not to be impressed - Western Daily Press Outspoken and alert - Sunday Express Hard hitting - inimitably forthright - Hull Daily Mail Refreshingly forthright - Liverpool Daily Post Dr Coleman made me think again - BBC World Service

    You simply move more deeply into them. For anyone - the kettlebell novice to the 15-year veteran - this short (read: just 30 page) ebook provides the perfect foundation or refresher of the fundamental kettlebell techniques, including the kettlebell swing, goblet squat, snatch, Turkish get up, clean, and military press. Each movement has detailed instructions plus step-by-step photos to help the reader understand the movements as well as safely and effectively execute them. After we discuss the hows of each of the basic movements, we move into applying what we've learned with a simple, straightforward kettlebell program for strength, muscle, mobility, conditioning, and (for those who want it) weight loss. This 7-day program can be run through just once as a refresher or for up to six weeks as a standalone program. This book includes: *The following kettlebell exercises: Kettlebell swing, goblet squat, snatch, Turkish get up, clean, and military press. *Each kettlebell exercise features a detailed description of the movement, step-by-step photos and key points. *A straightforward and simple 7-day program (repeatable for up to 6 weeks) to help the novice acclimate to kettlebell training or for the kettlebell veteran hone their technique and skills.

    A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.