Little Oink is a neat little fellow. Clean, clean, clean, that's all he wants to do. But Mama and Papa won't have it! They say in order to be a proper pig, he has to learn to make a proper mess. "Don't come out until your room is a pigsty," says Papa Pig. "I won't have any child of mine going out looking so neat and clean. It's just not acceptable," says Mama Pig. Readers who hate to clean up will love this humorous twist on a universal dilemma.

    Funny Rhyming Picture Book for Beginner ReadersSuitable for ages 2-8Beautifully Illustrated Story that will have both parents and children laughing out loud!Find out what happened to this family when Mom gets fed up and decides to stop doing all the chores.How will the family cope when they are so used to Mom doing so much for them?What happens next is hilarious, but also includes a valuable lesson for the entire family, even the cat and dog!What would you do if your Mommy quit on you?You and your children will love how the family resolves the issue in this adorable and humorous tale.

    It’s for those who like to laugh at the absurdity, magic, and madness of human existence. It's been called the next Brave New World, with a touch of Kurt Vonnegut and a hint of Philip K. Dick. You won’t be able to put it down.” Joe Sokolinsky, TV Channel 29, San Francisco, 2010The Future Perfect is a wild ride into the future, unknown like anything I have ever envisioned. Mustard’s imagination is remarkable, knowing no boundaries and yet holding this reader within his genius virtual reality. The characters are likable, funny, determined and yet quirky. The world-building is unbelievable and so detail oriented, I could quickly build the world in my mind, down to the finest pebble. Glass flowers and linoleum deserts are just the tip of what this futuristic novel has to offer. Romance, suspense, competitive science and excellent writing, The Future Perfect is genius! I totally enjoyed it! Minding Spot (Book Review Blog), Wendy 9/18/11“This book is an absolutely fantastic, humorous and dark satirical look at a dystopian future where humankind simultaneously wages war against nature while pining for its renewal, glories in a shallow sterile consumerist society obsessed with dreams of true happiness, computer simulated immortality and the eradication of all danger via technology.” The Goth "Darkness Visible” October 19, 2010“If you like your sci-fi quirky and off the wall, you can't go wrong with this one. You'll never guess what's coming next. As I drew near the end, I found myself eager to see how it all turns out, but dreading the end of the adventure. And that ending? Near perfect. A laugh out loud page-turner.” LrockyB 2012“In this amazing science fiction/fantasy treatise, Mustard portrays a hyperactive world where artificial intelligence has progressed to the point that no one dies and technology has everyone and everything moving at a frenetic pace. More than a novel, The Future Perfect is a gut wrenching experience that causes readers to question the parameters of human existence while satirizing those who tend toward navel gazing. I found myself laughing derisively one moment then shrieking in horror at recognizing myself in this fun house distortion. Truly, Mustard has held up a mirror to the disastrous collision course upon which humanity has embarked and its inevitable end. Like a train wreck, it's hard to watch yet impossible to turn away from. Even as you're aware of what you think will be the inevitable and horrifying outcome, you continue to gape at this pitch perfect rendering of humanity's mad dash to extinction. I loved reading this novel, and I don't usually like science fiction.” Mary Reilly, Booknookclub (Book Review Blog) 2011“This is one of the best sci-fi books I have ever read. It has a great plot; actually, it has an amazing plot. I especially love the ending.” Mom2Four 2011“There seems to be all sorts of influences, not just Vonnegut, Adams and Huxley, but also more than a bit of Arthur C. Clarke and Margaret Atwood. It bundles all these influences together into a classic piece of predictive science fiction. It's done in a silly and light hearted way, so it gets you thinking without feeling too heavy handed or getting in the way of the narrative.” Robin Hartley 2010“This is a classic. The turn of phrase, hilarity with pathos, and sheer creative ability in his writing is astonishing. I place this work alongside all the best predictive sci-fi I've ever read.” Shakti 2010“The future portrayed here is not too distant or far removed from reality.

    This book covers it all! Encrypting your private files, securing your PC, masking your online footsteps, and all while giving you peace of mind with TOTAL 100% ANONYMITY. Don't waste months scouring the internet for info. Just read this! You'll be hooked in five minutes. It's all here: CIA techniques, how the NSA catches Tor users, Truecrypt and the FBI, nuking tracking cookies, private browsing, preventing identity theft. I will show you: -How to Be Anonymous Online -Step by Step Guides for Tor, Freenet, I2P, VPNs, Usenet and more -Browser Fingerprinting -Anti-Hacking and Counter-Forensic Techniques -Photo & Video Metadata -How to Encrypt Files (I make this super simple) -How to Defeat NSA Spying -How to Browse the Deep Web -How to Protect Your Identity -How to Hide Anything! You've probably read How to Be Invisible by J. J. Luna and Incognito Toolkit by Rob Robideau, and while they are fine books, you need this companion piece to take it to the next level!

    If you follow each and every one, your life will become easier, more fabulous, more rewarding. Imagine what a chilled-out and wonderful human being people would think you were if you lived by the simple principle "You can never fail if you never try." Your wasted life would be an inspiration to others. Think of all the pointless, unhappy striving you could simply give up. Throw away that guitar! Give up on your dreams! Embrace your astounding mediocrity. This Book Loves You has something for everyone--or at least everyone willing to give up and stop caring. If all else fails, remember: "Don’t be yourself. Be a pizza. Everyone loves pizza."

    Twelve classic Horrible Histories are being reissued with a tie-in cover. In Gorgeous Georgians readers can discover thehe full story: Gangs who made a living selling dead bodies. Husbands who sold their wives at auction. Doctors who cured toothache with squashed fish eyes. Join Rattus Rattus and the gang for the funniest, fastest, nastiest and daftest ride through histor you're ever likely to see..

    Stories to Grow On. Size is 5 by 5 3/4 inches.

    He muses about everything from the nature of viral sharing, to the taming of Internet trolls, to why Yoda, bacon and cats are such popular memes. Takei isn’t afraid to tell it likes he sees it, and to engage the reader just as he does his legions of fans.Both provokingly thoughtful and wickedly funny, Oh Myyy! captures and comments upon the quirky nature of our plugged-in culture. With Takei’s conversational yet authoritative style, peppered with some of his favorite images from the web, readers should be prepared to LOL, even as they can’t help but hear his words in their heads in that unmistakable, deep bass.

    Can the Boss Baby and his staff get used to the new corporate structure?

    The New Yorker published its first Addams cartoon in 1932, and his cast of genial ghouls, friendly freaks, and the famous family brought a touch of gleeful creepiness to its pages for more than five decades. This classic collection of more than 200 cartoons, from the master of the macabre at his most diabolical, contains the best cartoons from his first six books and is sure to delight both fans and cartoon connoisseurs.

    This specially written new story is put together with the diary he had to write for his homework, and the story that explains just what he's got against Perfect Peter.The diary and Don't Be Horrid, Henry have previously been published in other formats but Francesca Simon has written hilarious new introductions to them and has added some of the questions children often ask her about Henry (and herself). As always, the text is matched by Tony Ross's sparky drawings.

    Tim Burton meets The Pop-Up Book of Phobias in The Book of Memory Gaps, a poetic and hauntingly funny illustrated book that explores the power and mystery of the human mind, created by author and artist Cecilia Ruiz.Book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsivI...

    But he's not the only one who trumps.

    That is, until Fox 8 develops a unique skill: He teaches himself to speak "Yuman" by hiding in the bushes outside a house and listening to children's bedtime stories. The power of language fuels his abundant curiosity about people—even after "danjer" arrives in the form of a new shopping mall that cuts off his food supply, sending Fox 8 on a harrowing quest to help save his pack.

    Alfie doesn't want a bath. He just wants to play.Read along as Alfie turns this nightly chore into a fun, imaginary adventure. From safari hunts to slaying dragons, bath time will never be the same.This is the perfect book to read before bed or bath!