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Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong (Constable Mavis Upton #1)


Gina Kirkham - 2021
    As mummy to 7-year old Ella, surrogate to far too many pets and with a failed marriage under her belt, Mavis knows she needs to make some life-changing decisions. It's time to strike out into the world, to stand on her own two feet … to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a Police Officer. I mean, what could go wrong? Supported by her quirky, malapropism-suffering mum, Mavis throws herself headlong into a world of uncertainty, self-discovery, fearless escapades, laughter and extra-large knickers. And using her newly discovered investigative skills, she reluctantly embarks on a search to find her errant dad who was last seen years before, making off with her mum's much needed coupon for a fabulous foam cup bra all the way from America.Follow Mavis as she tackles everything life can throw at her, and revel in Gina Kirkham's humorous, poignant and moving story of an everyday girl who one day followed a dream.

World Enough (And Time)


Edmund Jorgensen - 2019
     Normally Jeremiah Brown would not begrudge such luckless animals their windfall, but the man was his uncle, and the fortune was supposed to be his inheritance. Furthermore, having already purchased a ticket for a luxury space-cruise "on expectation" of said inheritance, Jeremiah can no longer pay for said ticket. And furthermore still, he is already on said cruise. Having defaulted on his ticket, Jeremiah must work as a concierge for the remainder of the trip. Since he has never worked a day in his life, even an ordinary job would be sure to prove challenging. But this will be no ordinary job... World Enough (And Time) is a sci-fi comedy of manners and errors. If you enjoy the work of Douglas Adams—or have always longed to read something inspired by P.G. Wodehouse or Kingsley Amis but set on, you know, a spaceship zipping through the void at an appreciable fraction of the speed of light—you should check it out.

The Unwilling Adventurer


Heidi Willard - 2014
     An old man, a young armor-wearing girl, and a farm boy walk into a story, and this is what you get; a fantasy series of monsters and mayhem where each day leads them into new troubles and intrigue. Fred is the farm boy, a serf bound to his lord by the debt of his deceased parents. He’s thrown out into the world against his will and into the company of an armored young woman by the name of Pat and her cloaked, bearded companion, Ned. Together they make an unlikely group as they wind their way through troubles with perilous plant monsters, dangerous dog-beasts, and a good book that refuses to be put down. Literally. The Unwilling Adventurer is a fantastical fantasy for lovers of sword and sorcery, action and adventure, panic and pandemonium, and a bunch of other epic adjectives.

The Guy Under the Sheets: The Unauthorized Autobiography


Chris Elliott - 2012
    Woven throughout the ctional fun in Elliott's memoir are wonderful real-life anecdotes that will delight many new readers and loyal fans alike. "The arc of [Elliott's] career remains unique and inspiring . . . that he blazed a trail for Arrested Development and Community and all the other freaky, convention-outing TV comedies."—Grantland

It's Hard Out Here For a Shrimp: Life, Love & Living Large


Jim Lewis - 2008
    He's a lothario, a linguist, and a specialist at looking on the bright side of life-- especially when it means twisting or turning a situation so it works in his favor! In this book, he will teach you how to do the same for yourself. He offers a plethora of thorough advice on parties, relationships, careers, love, friendship, and life in general-- there is something in here for everyone! Pepe's thoughts on friendship? "Love comes and goes .but friendship is forever, or at least until they run out of money and places to take you. Building lifelong relationships with people who aren't related to you or attractive to you is a strange habit, but one that's hard to shake. Here's how I deal with it..." Laugh-out-loud funny and in his authentic, Spanish-accented voice, Pepe's musings and guidance will delight readers of all ages with this fantastic comic relief! Served up with hot, fresh, and filled with wit, pith and a dash of salsa this is Pepe's guide to life, love and living large! From family to friendship to romance and everything is between, Pepe's words of wisdom are served up in fun and witty quotes and advice told with his signature brand of humor.

Mrs Brown's Family Handbook


Brendan O'Carroll - 2013
    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes


Will Cuppy - 1931
    From that outpost, he gained a reputation for his factual but funny magazine articles and wrote the book, How to be a Hermit , his first bestseller. His last, The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody , was left unfinished after Cuppy's death in 1949 and has become a classic of American humor. In between (among other titles) was this very funny collection. First published in 1931, the subjects include "What I Hate About Spring," "Awful Mammals," and "Why Be a Rhinoceros?" Great for anyone who loves classic American humor.

You Only Live Once


Haris Orkin - 2018
    He’s also a heavily medicated patient in a Los Angeles psychiatric hospital. Flynn believes his locked ward is the headquarters of Her Majesty’s Secret Service and that he is a secret agent with a license to kill. When the hospital is acquired by a new HMO, Flynn is convinced that the Secret Service has been infiltrated by the enemy. He escapes to save the day, and in the process, Flynn kidnaps a young Hispanic orderly named Sancho. This crazy day trip turns into a very real adventure when Flynn is mistaken for an actual secret agent. Paranoid delusions have suddenly become reality, and now it’s up to a mental patient and a terrified orderly to bring down an insecure, evil genius bent on world domination.Editorial Reviews“A brilliant homage to everyone’s favorite super-spy, and a hilarious, action-packed, made-for-the-movies thriller about a man suavely dancing along both sides of the thin line between heroism and madness.” —Matt Forbeck, New York Times bestselling author of Halo: New Blood"Orkin skillfully manages to create a story that is genuinely amusing, tenderly moving, and decidedly thoughtful. A manically funny farce both delightfully absurd and strangely plausible." - Kirkus“Pacey and unrepentant fun, Haris Orkin’s You Only Live Once takes the James Bond mythos, gives it a swift kick in the backside and steals its wallet.” —James Swallow, New York Times bestselling author of Nomad “Fill shaker with ice. Add equal parts Ian Fleming and Quentin Tarantino. Shake (do not stir). Garnish with Douglas Adams, and you get You Only Live Once.” —Dan Jolley, USA Today bestselling author of the Gray Widow Trilogy“A sexy, slapstick, razzle-dazzle, rock’em-sock’em re-imagining of Don Quixote as James Bond emerging from deep cover in a mental hospital to save the world." Charles Harper Webb, award-winning author of Brain CandyOrkin’s twist on the spy narrative is fast-paced and exciting, packed with thrilling action and close calls. This novel is incredibly well written; the action sequences are finely crafted and the descriptive passages are lovely. - Publisher's Weekly

Archie's Favorite Christmas Comics


Archie Comics - 2014
    Laugh at the antics of Riverdale’s teens as they seek the perfect Christmas tree, go on a sleigh ride, help those less fortunate, give one another cherished holiday gifts and more as they enjoy the magic of the season!

46% Better Than Dave


Alastair Puddick - 2019
     Dave Brookman’s new next-door neighbour is ruining his life. Because in a bizarre coincidence, he’s also called Dave Brookman, he’s the same age and he even grew up in the same town. There is one big difference, though. This new Dave is vastly more successful in every way. As Dave starts questioning everything about himself, suddenly his perfect life seems a lot less than perfect. And what starts as friendly rivalry soon turns into obsessive jealousy and crazy behaviour that could see Dave lose it all. Can he get a grip before it’s too late? NetGalley previews: It’s Keeping Up With The Jones in a book!!! Read it!! You will love every page like I did. Amazing job!! This is my third Alastair Puddick story and still I’m impressed. I really care about his antiheroes, flawed characters that for some reason or other - usually their inner-self struggle with what the world throws at them. After George Thring and Freddie Winters, this time it’s all about Dave Brookman. We meet Dave and his family at the point when his new neighbour moves in, by some twisted fate also called Dave Brookman. Neighbour-Dave and his family are seemingly all that our Dave aspires to: ace career, big bucks, flashy cars, great hair, gorgeous wife - the kind of uber-Joneses that bring Dave’s world crashing down into a smouldering heap. This, to me, is the most agonising, personal, gut-wrenching, heartfelt of Puddick’s novels to date. A self-imposed ego inferno, but surely there is hope for Dave? I read this in a day and thoroughly enjoyed it! Dave Brookman’s life is great, he has a lovely wife and 2 children and a career he is good at. This all changes when he gets a new neighbour, also called Dave Brookman, who seems to be doing considerably better in life than the original. Original Dave made me laugh and at times feel really frustrated with him, I quite identified with his wife throughout! Though this is an easy, funny read, this book does make you stop and consider our constant need to compare ourselves to others and measure ourselves against self imposed factors. I’ll be going to read the author’s other books right away. A witty and unique take on the the literary doppelgänger archetype that questions the constant need of human beings to constantly compare themselves to other, to measure themselves against self-imposed factors. Alastair Puddick's novel makes you reflect on the human truth of comparing their self with everybody else, all the while offering a humorous novel that will give you a good time!

Smithereens


Shaun Micallef - 2004
    Small but beautifully formed pieces of Shaun Micallef.

The Miracle of Forgetness


Robert Farrell Smith - 1997
    

Big Trouble in Little China


John Carpenter - 2014
    Even though the ’80s are over, Jack Burton, the goofball action hero, continues to be a timeless treasure. This is the sequel to John Carpenter’s cult classic that I’ve been waiting for.

Scalding Hot Chocolate


Jaliza A. Burwell - 2019
     I’m a woman who adores childish things. I prefer being called Maddie over Madison. I like frilly dresses, and tickle fights, and hot chocolate, and coloring, and swing sets. I avoid adulting like I do broccoli, and my therapist says that’s okay. We all have our hobbies. I think my therapist is full of it, but he hasn’t steered me wrong yet. At least I don’t think he has. So, what am I supposed to do when tragedy hits my family once again and I’m left with twins? Well, I adapt. If I have anything good going for me, it’s that I’m a river, ever-flowing. Plus, rivers have waterfalls and rainbows. I like waterfalls and rainbows. But now I need to adult fast because having two tiny things relying on me is hard. I have to be—dare I say it—responsible. Ick. I hate that word. Just when I think I’m getting a routine down with my adorable twins, I’m faced with new problems. My stepmonster is out to get me again. She likes to think she can prove a point, but I’m older now. I won’t let her stomp on me anymore. She better prepare for a fight. And apparently, I have three men on my side. They’re willing to prove they’ll help me. I’ll believe them the day I finally see the elusive unicorn. But they’re there and I can’t stop blabbering like an idiot long enough to tell them to go away. Don’t worry. I got this. I think.

Midlife Happy Hour: Our Reward for Surviving Careers, Kids, and Chaos (Midlife Cabernet Book 2)


Elaine Ambrose - 2016
    Elaine Ambrose boldly writes her latest kiss-my-attitude book as a sassy sequel to Midlife Cabernet. Ambrose shares her festive life experiences and career-crushing anecdotes as she explains how to remain relevant after age 50, why grown children make great travel companions, and how to balance midlife without falling over. Ambrose notes that her feminine mystique sprung a leak after years of competing as a funny female in a serious male job market. Now the hard work is done, and she invites midlife women to join her for Happy Hour.