If your train is late, it is typical. If there are no seats on the upper deck of a bus, it is typical. If it starts to rain at five o'clock just before you leave work, it is typical.''The English do not like to be wished "Have a nice day", because to them it sounds like a command. They think, Who the hell do you think you are to order me to have a nice day?' Ten years ago, Angela Kiss arrived in the UK without a word of English. All she brought with her was a small bag, a sense of adventure, a desire to work and a copy of George Mikes' classic 1940s' humour book about the peculiarities of the British, How to be an Alien.Through every dodgy flat share, low-paid waitressing job, awkward date and office mishap, Angela held tight to George's wit and wisdom. With his help she began to understand how to live amongst the English - with their eccentricity, spirit and singing train drivers - and fell in love with a land rich in green spaces, pubs and puddings. A wry, often affectionate view on the English, and how to navigate our national personality.

    In this single, from n+1 (Issue 12), Kent Russell gives a remarkable (and very funny) report on the festival and a sympathetic account of the situation of the white poor in the US.

    30,000 first printing."

    Epstein is penetrating. He is witty. He has a magic touch with words, that hard to define but immediately recognizable quality called style. Above all, he is impossible to put down. How easy it is today to forget the simple delight of reading for no intended purpose. Each of the 39 pieces in this book is a pure pleasure to read.

     “Crime Squad takes readers on an unforgettable ride as Mike, an innocent lad from the Yorkshire Dales, learns to grow up fast and stay alive on the mean streets of London.” Weebly “A great read… gave a great feel of policing in the 80's and 90's in London, particularly with the change in drug culture and guns.” Netgalley “Well-written and informative, giving an insight into the workings of the police force in London in 1980s. Recommended.” Wendy Rhodes - Reviewer “A rollercoaster read of life on the front line.” Sir Hugh Orde OBE QPM “An accurate and fascinating picture of police work at the sharp end.” Detective Superintendent John Jones (rtd) “Gripping from first to last.” Andy Trotter OBE QPM London 1988: PC Mike Pannett, fresh out of training school, had suspected life in the Metropolitan Police was going to be a bit different from rural North Yorkshire, but the 23-year-old had no idea by just how much. Sent south of the river to Battersea, then top of London’s crime league tables, Mike was thrown straight into the deep end – during his first drugs raid he ended up staring down the wrong end of a double-barrelled shotgun. Mike’s arrival in London coincided with the explosion in crack cocaine use. In the early 1990s, Yardies – criminal gangs from Jamaica and the USA - flooded into the capital, starting in Battersea, where they brought all manner of guns with them, along with a live-fast die-young attitude. Rivals were ruthlessly eliminated and whole neighbourhoods fell under the control of drug gangs. Mike and his police colleagues fought back with extraordinary valour and inventiveness and with the support of the local community they started to turn the tide – but then came the unthinkable crime: the murder in 1993 of PC Patrick Dunne, one of Mike’s colleagues, by Gary Nelson, aka ‘Tyson’, a criminal the national press described as ‘the most dangerous man ever to walk to the streets of Britain.’ Mike was drawn into the long and exceptionally dangerous hunt for Nelson that would go on to cost the life of another police officer. Crime Squad takes readers on an unforgettable ride as Mike, an innocent lad from the Yorkshire Dales, learns to grow up fast and stay alive on the mean streets of London.

    From Isaac Newton to Mark Zuckerberg, these visionary, determined INTJs have made an impact. But what drives these self-possessed, sometimes mysterious Masterminds? What makes them so uniquely equipped to improve the systems we live with every day?This book is for INTJs and those who live with them, work with them, or just want to know more about them. With an eye toward the INTJ's natural strengths, The True INTJ takes an in-depth look at the talents, motivations, values, and unique qualities of the INTJ. You'll discover what drives the INTJ, and how this innovative, dedicated personality type can use their gifts to change the world.

    From its late-Victorian flowering in the mill towns of the northwest of England, football spread around the world with great speed. It was helped on its way by a series of missionaries who showed the rest of the planet the simple joys of the game. Even now, in many countries, the colloquial word for a football manager is not 'coach' or 'boss' but 'mister', as that is how the early teachers were known, because they had come from the home of the sport to help it develop in new territories.       In Rory Smith's stunning new book Mister, he looks at the stories of these pioneers of the game, men who left this country to take football across the globe. Sometimes, they had been spurned in their own land, as coaching was often frowned upon in England in those days, when players were starved of the ball during the week to make them hungry for it on matchday. So it was that the inspirations behind the 'Mighty Magyars' of the 1950s, the Dutch of the 1970s or top clubs such as Barcelona came from these shores.       England, without realising it, fired the very revolution that would remove its crown, changing football's history, thanks to a handful of men who sowed the seeds of the inversion of football's natural order. This is the story of the men who taught the world to play and shaped its destiny. This is the story of the Misters.

    Here, he recalls the glorious memories of his record-breaking career at Manchester United, as well as highlights from his international career with Wales. Giggsy's words bring 20 seasons of pictures to life, as the most decorated player in English football history relives 11 Premier League wins, four FA Cup successes, three League Cup winner's medals, and two Champions League victories, and remembers the people who have helped to make him a true sporting great.

    Each short story is about a dog, love and the special bond that can form between dogs and people. Love stories for all ages, almost any of these short stories could be a bedtime story for children, although they run the emotional gamut from absurdity to poignancy. The language is clean, and although the loss of a pet is always sad, the idea of dressing a chihuahua in a red corduroy coat is funny, quickly bringing a smile. Almost every true story in this collection is either about a chihuahua or a mix thereof, and/or the abandoned hound that claimed a family as his own. One is about a lost mother dog who depended on the kindness of strangers after delivering her puppies in a cave on the side of a cliff. Another is about a little dog's grief when her master died; although he was important enough to be mourned by an entire city, Mopsy's sorrow was heartbreaking. Most of the dogs in these stories came from an animal shelter, and the fidelity that each rescue dog demonstrates, from utter loyalty to pure devotion, makes a master humble.Perhaps you will recognize and remember some of the dogs you have loved over the years as you read these stories, and realize how important dogs truly are in the emotional lives of humans

    

    Nobody is fine all the time, and if you’re feeling down or struggling with serious problems, you’re not alone. This clear and comforting guide is here to help you understand the mental health issues that can affect us all, and to help you look after your mind, body and soul. Touching on a range of topics, including anxiety, depression, loneliness, stress and self-esteem, this is a book for anyone and everyone who needs good advice, fresh ideas and kind words.

    Her voice lit up Radio 4's News Quiz, she was brilliant on QI and she tirelessly travelled the UK as one of the most respected and loved comics on the circuit.' STEPHEN FRYStephen Fry spoke for much of middle England when he responded to the news of Linda Smith's tragic death of cancer, aged 48, earlier this year. Linda was the brilliant mainstay of Radio 4's The News Quiz, Just a Minute, and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue for many years. She was just establishing her career on TV through blistering performances on Have I Got News for You, QI and Room 101, when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.Linda was one of the few women to conquer the male dominated world of comedy and she had the wit and the charm to win over millions of male and female fans in equal measure. She had an eye for the absurdities of modern life and loved to prick the egos of the pompous and the vain. She could be savage about the people she despised too. When she spoke of the "dead devil-eyes of Nicky Campbell" she meant it. When she called David Mellor, "the thinking woman's fat ugly bastard", she meant it even more. When she called David Blunkett "Satan's bearded folk singer", it was a simple statement of fact. No wonder then Linda was voted the 'wittiest person alive' by Radio 4 listeners in 2002.In this brilliant anthology, we go right back to the start of Linda's career and re-live her very best material from the picket lines of the Miners' Strike, to the Edinburgh Festival and on to her mainstream success on BBC radio and TV, and as touring comedian loved up and down the country. The Very Best of Linda Smith is being compiled and edited by her partner of twenty-three years, Warren Lakin. The book also carries contributions from her extensive fan club including: Paul Merton, Graham Norton, Clive Anderson, Bill Bailey, Jo Brand, Alan Davies, Jack Dee, Dawn French, Stephen Fry, Tony Hawks, Eddie Izzard, Matt Lucas, Nicholas Parsons and Alexei Sayle amongst others. It will be the must-have gift for comedy fans and Radio 4 listeners this Christmas.

    

    The truth, of course, is that no parent knows what he or she is doing--not even Mel--and that's part of the fun as well as the horror. The short chapters either recount specific stories from the front lines ("The Day We Caught Our Kids Looking At Their Butt Holes," "She Sent Me to the Store for Feminine Hygiene Products") or take the form of lists--numbered observations, warnings, or words of wisdom ("5 things I Never Should Have Said To My Pregnant Wife," "10 Contradictions That Make Me Want to Run From My Minivan And Into The Woods"). Edwards is invariably funny, wry, and self-deprecating. Parenting and marriage, as he describes them, are humbling, in both the worst (lots of poop and vomit) and best (personal growth) ways. If you are a parent, husband, wife, or thinking about any of these roles, this book is for you. It will make you laugh. It will make you think. It will make you cry. Sometimes all three at the same time.

    the definitive guide" (Independent on Sunday ) out in paperback just in time for the major motion picture When Richard Neville arrived in London in 1966 after a six-month overland trek from Australia, the first thing he did was visit Bibi: "The famous boutique throbbed with The Animals, cash registers and scantily clad women...the air was tinged with the perfume of Arabia, and someof its hash...I nearly fainted." Five years later he was jailed for 15 months for publishing an obscene article, "Schoolkids Oz." In the intervening years, as editor of Oz, the hippies handbook and monument to psychedelia, Neville was the darling of the in-crowd: the liberal intellectuals, writers, fashion designers, rock musicians, artists and business people. Through it all he remained amused and objective, frequently startling even his closest admirers with his unexpected views on everything from free love to the Vietnam War. This classic of 60s-themed literature is currently being made into a major motion picture starring Sienna Miller and Cillian Murphy.