Especially at Christmas It’s all jingles but no bells this year as East End mum Babs Miller tries to find somewhere to stage one of her legendary Christmas parties. But no one’s hiring to Babs this festive season. Her shindig’s reputation for all-round mayhem has preceded her. There’s another problem: no one wants Babs’ aging relative, the notorious Aunt Ruddy, on their premises. She could start a fight on a desert island. But Aunt Ruddy won’t be going anywhere this Christmas because she’s laid up in hospital. Babs begins to suspect that Ruddy owns something valuable that’s in danger of being stolen. Babs soon fears the light-fingered thief might be closer to home than she thinks.

     Hidden Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Four Aside from a minor glitch or two, everything has gone to plan with the grand opening of Pine Time Bed-and-Breakfast. Then one of Jayne’s guests turns up dead on the side of the road. Now, with some of the locals pointing out that the rash of murders plaguing the village started when Jayne arrived, Jayne has to clear her own name while tracking down the real killer. Rival Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Five As the weather turns crisp, Jayne and the other villagers prepare for the last big tourist draw of the season: the autumn equinox festival and its ever-popular cooking competition. Events turn from friendly to fatal, however, when one of the contestants is found dead in the woods. As all eyes turn to one of the villagers as the killer, Jayne digs deep to clear the name of one of their own. Veiled Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Six The village is calm and quiet for the Samhain feast, until a boy goes missing during trick-or-treating. The parents say he does this sometimes, but with a storm bearing down on the village, Jayne isn’t content to dismiss this as a case of a curious kid off exploring the woods. What readers are saying: “I've read them all and just want to go back.” “I wish Whispering Pines was a real place” “If you enjoy honest, rather raw characters seeking direction, and the consequences of past mistakes, you'll enjoy this series as much as I have.” “My mind is still in Whispering Pines. I can clearly see the thatched roof houses, their wood and stucco exteriors. It reminds me of Shakespeare's house in London." “I really enjoy how the characters continue to evolve in this series and the new eccentrics fit right in!” “I totally fell in love with both the village and the story.” “I would gladly plan my next trip to Whispering Pines.” The Whispering Pines Mystery Series Family Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery Kept Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Two Original Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Three Hidden Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Four Rival Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Five Veiled Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Six Silent Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Seven Merciful Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Eight

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

     But even in victory, the legacy of Obadiah Paine is not so easily washed away. His hidden lair yet remains, Dread Fortress Paine yet stands! Within it . . . none can be sure what monstrous acts are waiting to be uncovered or guess the number of Paine loyalists who linger. It falls on the shoulders of ESLED Strike Alpha to answer these questions and to seize Paine's hideout for the Elemental Learning Council. Led by spectromancer Ramses Lamprey, joined by civilian observer Tyson Bonnie, and aided by Council fixer Eva Reti, failure is not an option. This volume is a can't miss for Foul Mouth fans, acting as an action packed epilogue for "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" while priming many plot points for the next main volume and even those well beyond. Dread Fortress Paine must fall! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (released) Book 6.5 - "Assault on Dread Fortress Paine" (released) Book 6.75 - "The Glassbreaker Goes Home" (forthcoming) Book 7 - "The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble" (forthcoming)

    Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.

    Throughout the shift, the dispatcher is faced with stabbings, robberies, medical calls, fights, and a variety of other calls. There is no telling what the next call will bring. Some of the calls faced by the dispatcher are heinous, some are tragic, and some are a complete waste of time.You will get to see what life is really like for a 911 dispatcher. While some of the details have been modified to protect the identity of those involved, this books was inspired by true and actual calls handled by a 911 dispatcher.Warning: This book contains some adult language and topics.

    

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    This is storytelling at its funniest.If laughter is the best medicine, then this book is your prescription. Turn off the news and spend a few days not following current events. Instead, return to the basics—humanity’s ability to laugh at itself. Maybe you should even do a news cleanse for a few days! Hide under the covers and read these stories instead. Or read a chapter a day, or a story a day for 101 days. These pages contain the antidote to whatever is troubling you. They will definitely put you in a good mood. No one is safe from our writers— from spouses to parents to children to colleagues and friends. And of course the funniest of all are the stories they tell about their own mishaps and those “most embarrassing moments.” There’s no holding anything back in these pages, so prepare for lots of good, clean (and not so clean) fun.

    I call your doctors office and am put on hold for 5 minutes, then informed that your prescription was phoned in to my competitor on the other side of town. Phoning the competitor, I am immediately put on hold for 5 minutes before speaking to a clerk, who puts me back on hold to wait for the pharmacist. Your prescription is then transferred to me, and now I have to get the 2 phone calls that have been put on hold while this was being done. Now I return to the counter to ask if we've ever filled prescriptions for you before. For some reason, you think that "for you" means "for your cousin" and you answer my question with a "yes", whereupon I go the computer and see you are not on file. The phone rings..." That's part of the reason why your prescription takes so long to fill, and after almost 20 years of this, a question I was never quite able to answer loomed larger and larger each day: "Why did I get into this profession?" Cranky customers whose only questions seem to involve their insurance co-pays. Pointless paperwork. People begging for early narcotic refills. Staff cuts. That was my workday. The struggle to get people the medicine and information they needed seemed almost futile at times. Then one day I got the answer. It hit me like a ton of bricks while driving home one spring evening along the California coast. I was born again, but it had nothing to do with Jesus. It did have a lot to do with a little plastic motorcycle. And I did become the pharmacist who saved Christmas. I absolutely know now why I became a pharmacist. I still don't know why your co-pay is so high.

    From realizing she should have paid more attention when the hula hoops were passed out in gym class, to near death by spray tanning, to realizing her daughters have given her more gifts than she could ever give them in return, A Second Helping is sure to make you laugh out loud and realize that being a parent is hilarious-- when it's happening to someone else.

    The author doesn't pull any punches describing the good, the bad, the funny and the just plain ridiculous of the Submarine Service. Besides a wealth of information about what it's like to serve on a submarine, you'll meet real life characters like Tongue, Snake and Button Butt John. Did submarines make them rude, crude, and crazy. Or does the Submarine Service act as a magnet for every nut in the Navy? One thing is sure, after two months underwater, and with their back pay in their back pocket, Sub Sailors are as wild as cowboys after a cattle drive. Bar the doors and hide your daughters. Every reader owes it to themselves to use Amazons "Look In" feature to take a peek inside this unique and entertaining book.