You Play the Girl: And Other Vexing Stories That Tell Women Who They Are


Carina Chocano - 2017
    Dutifully absorbing all the conflicting information the culture has to offer on how to be a woman, Chocano grappled with sexed-up sidekicks, princesses waiting to be saved, and morally infallible angels who seemed to have no opinions of their own. She learned that "the girl" is not a person, but a man's idea of what a woman should be—she’s whatever the hero needs her to be in order to become himself. It wasn't until she spent five years as a movie critic and was laid off just after her daughter was born that she really came to understand how the stories the culture tells us about what it means to be female limit our lives and shape our destinies. She resolved to rewrite her own story.In You Play the Girl, Chocano blends formative personal stories with insightful and emotionally powerful analysis. Moving from Bugs Bunny to Playboy Bunnies, from Flashdance to "Frozen," from the progressive ’70s through the backlash ’80s, the glib ’90s, and the pornified aughts—and at stops in between—she explains how growing up in the shadow of “the girl” taught her to think about herself and the world and what it means to raise a daughter in the face of these contorted reflections. In the tradition of Roxane Gay, Rebecca Solnit, and Susan Sontag, Chocano brilliantly shows that our identities are more fluid than we think, and certainly more complex than anything we see on any kind of screen.

The Postnatal Depletion Cure: A Complete Guide to Rebuilding Your Health and Reclaiming Your Energy for Mothers of Newborns, Toddlers, and Young Children


Oscar Serrallach - 2018
     Any woman who has read What to Expect When You're Expecting needs a copy of The Postnatal Depletion Cure. Filled with trustworthy advice, protocols for successful recovery, and written by a compassionate expert in women's health, this book is a guide to help any mother restore her energy, replenish her body, and reclaim her sense of self. Most mothers have experienced pain, forgetfulness, indecision, low energy levels, moodiness, or some form of baby brain. And it's no wonder: The process of growing a baby depletes a mother's body in substantial ways--on average, a mother's brain shrinks 5% during pregnancy, and the placenta saps her of essential nutrients that she needs to be healthy and contented. But with postnatal care ending after 6 weeks, most women never learn how to rebuild their strength and care for their bodies after childbirth. As a result, they can suffer from the effects of depletion for many years, without knowing what's wrong as well as getting the support and treatments that they need.

Sweet Sleep: Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family


Diane Wiessinger - 2014
    It’s mother-wisdom, reassurance, and a how-to guide for making sane and safe decisions on how and where your family sleeps, backed by the latest research.  It’s 4 A.M. You’ve nursed your baby five times throughout the night. You’re beyond exhausted. But where can you breastfeed safely when you might fall asleep? You’ve heard that your bed is dangerous for babies. Or is it? Is there a way to reduce the risk? Does life really have to be this hard? No, it doesn’t. Sweet Sleep is within reach. This invaluable resource will help you   • sleep better tonight in under ten minutes with the Quick Start guide—and sleep safer every night with the Safe Sleep Seven • sort out the facts and fictions of bedsharing and SIDS • learn about normal sleep at every age and stage, from newborn to new parent • direct your baby toward longer sleep when he’s ready • tailor your approach to your baby’s temperament • uncover the hidden costs of sleep training and “cry it out” techniques • navigate naps at home and daycare • handle criticism from family, friends, and physicians • enjoy stories and tips from mothers like you • make the soundest sleep decisions for your family and your life

The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep from Birth to Age 5


Jennifer Waldburger - 2007
    Psychotherapists and sleep specialists Jennifer and Jill, the dynamic "girlfriends" all of Hollywood calls on to solve Junior's sleep problems, have perfected their sleep technique that will get any child snoozing in no time—most often in fewer than three nights. The key to their method? It addresses the emotional needs of both the parent and child (yes, how to handle the crying!)—a critical component of why most other sleep methods fail. In this much-needed, family-friendly guide, weary parents will learn to define their own individual sleep goals, those that work for their family’s schedule and style. They'll create a customized "sleep planner" to ensure consistency with both parents as well as extended caregivers. (As an added bonus, they'll even improve the readers' relationships with their spouses with the "marriage-saver" section.) With comprehensive sections devoted to each stage of Baby's and Toddler's development, plus solutions to special circumstances like traveling, daylight saving's time, moving to a "big kid bed" and multiples, The Sleepeasy Solution is a dream come true! "This approach was truly amazing in helping our family to thrive. . . . We are eternally grateful!" —Ben Stiller and wife, Christine Taylor, actors "With their gentle approach, Sleepeasy gave us the tools we needed to solve our daughter's sleep problems." —Conan O'Brien, host of NBC's Late Night with Conan O'Brien "Sleepeasy gave us all the tools we needed to get our baby sleeping through the night. Now when we say good night to our daughter, we know it really will be a good night." —Greg Kinnear, actor Sales Points Jill Spivack cofounded Sleepy Planet, the foremost parenting sleep company that caters to celebrities, including Ben Stiller, Conan O’Brien, Greg Kinnear, and many more The authors conduct workshops at Baby Expos with audiences of more than 300 CBS Evening News, Inside Edition, The Wall Street Journal, and Fit Pregnancy have featured the Sleepy Planet team Jill and Jennifer write the Sleep Q&A column for the Modern Mom website (www.modernmom.com) with over a million subscribers.

Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own


Kate Bolick - 2015
    So begins Spinster, a revelatory and slyly erudite look at the pleasures and possibilities of remaining single. Using her own experiences as a starting point, journalist and cultural critic Kate Bolick invites us into her carefully considered, passionately lived life, weaving together the past and present to examine why­ she - along with over 100 million American women, whose ranks keep growing - remains unmarried. This unprecedented demographic shift, Bolick explains, is the logical outcome of hundreds of years of change that has neither been fully understood, nor appreciated. Spinster introduces a cast of pioneering women from the last century whose genius, tenacity, and flair for drama have emboldened Bolick to fashion her life on her own terms: columnist Neith Boyce, essayist Maeve Brennan, social visionary Charlotte Perkins Gilman, poet Edna St. Vincent Millay, and novelist Edith Wharton. By animating their unconventional ideas and choices, Bolick shows us that contemporary debates about settling down, and having it all, are timeless - the crucible upon which all thoughtful women have tried for centuries to forge a good life. Intellectually substantial and deeply personal, Spinster is both an unreservedly inquisitive memoir and a broader cultural exploration that asks us to acknowledge the opportunities within ourselves to live authentically. Bolick offers us a way back into our own lives - a chance to see those splendid years when we were young and unencumbered, or middle-aged and finally left to our own devices, for what they really are: unbounded and our own to savor.

Being Heumann: An Unrepentant Memoir of a Disability Rights Activist


Judith Heumann - 2020
    From fighting to attend grade school after being described as a "fire hazard" to later winning a lawsuit against the New York City school system for denying her a teacher's license because of her paralysis, Judy's actions set a precedent that fundamentally improved rights for disabled people.As a young woman, Judy rolled her wheelchair through the doors of the US Department of Health, Education, and Welfare in San Francisco as a leader of the Section 504 Sit-In, the longest takeover of a governmental building in US history. Working with a community of over 150 disabled activists and allies, Judy successfully pressured the Carter administration to implement protections for disabled peoples' rights, sparking a national movement and leading to the creation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.Candid, intimate, and irreverent, Judy Heumann's memoir about resistance to exclusion invites readers to imagine and make real a world in which we all belong.

Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments: Intimate Histories of Riotous Black Girls, Troublesome Women, and Queer Radicals


Saidiya Hartman - 1997
    Free love, common-law and transient marriages, serial partners, cohabitation outside of wedlock, queer relations, and single motherhood were among the sweeping changes that altered the character of everyday life and challenged traditional Victorian beliefs about courtship, love, and marriage. Hartman narrates the story of this radical social transformation against the grain of the prevailing century-old argument about the crisis of the black family.In wrestling with the question of what a free life is, many young black women created forms of intimacy and kinship that were indifferent to the dictates of respectability and outside the bounds of law. They cleaved to and cast off lovers, exchanged sex to subsist, and revised the meaning of marriage. Longing and desire fueled their experiments in how to live. They refused to labor like slaves or to accept degrading conditions of work.Beautifully written and deeply researched, Wayward Lives recreates the experience of young urban black women who desired an existence qualitatively different than the one that had been scripted for them—domestic service, second-class citizenship, and respectable poverty—and whose intimate revolution was apprehended as crime and pathology. For the first time, young black women are credited with shaping a cultural movement that transformed the urban landscape. Through a melding of history and literary imagination, Wayward Lives recovers their radical aspirations and insurgent desires.

America's Women: 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates, and Heroines


Gail Collins - 2004
    It features a stunning array of personalities, from the women peering worriedly over the side of the Mayflower to feminists having a grand old time protesting beauty pageants and bridal fairs. Courageous, silly, funny, and heartbreaking, these women shaped the nation and our vision of what it means to be female in America. By culling the most fascinating characters — the average as well as the celebrated — Gail Collins, the editorial page editor at the New York Times, charts a journey that shows how women lived, what they cared about, and how they felt about marriage, sex, and work. She begins with the lost colony of Roanoke and the early southern "tobacco brides" who came looking for a husband and sometimes — thanks to the stupendously high mortality rate — wound up marrying their way through three or four. Spanning wars, the pioneering days, the fight for suffrage, the Depression, the era of Rosie the Riveter, the civil rights movement, and the feminist rebellion of the 1970s, America's Women describes the way women's lives were altered by dress fashions, medical advances, rules of hygiene, social theories about sex and courtship, and the ever-changing attitudes toward education, work, and politics. While keeping her eye on the big picture, Collins still notes that corsets and uncomfortable shoes mattered a lot, too. "The history of American women is about the fight for freedom," Collins writes in her introduction, "but it's less a war against oppressive men than a struggle to straighten out the perpetually mixed message about women's roles that was accepted by almost everybody of both genders." Told chronologically through the compelling stories of individual lives that, linked together, provide a complete picture of the American woman's experience, America's Women is both a great read and a landmark work of history.

The Violinist's Thumb: And Other Lost Tales of Love, War, and Genius, as Written by Our Genetic Code


Sam Kean - 2012
    In The Violinist's Thumb, he explores the wonders of the magical building block of life: DNA.There are genes to explain crazy cat ladies, why other people have no fingerprints, and why some people survive nuclear bombs. Genes illuminate everything from JFK's bronze skin (it wasn't a tan) to Einstein's genius. They prove that Neanderthals and humans bred thousands of years more recently than any of us would feel comfortable thinking. They can even allow some people, because of the exceptional flexibility of their thumbs and fingers, to become truly singular violinists. Kean's vibrant storytelling makes science entertaining, explaining human history and whimsy while showing how DNA will influence our species' future.

Against Our Will: Men, Women and Rape


Susan Brownmiller - 1975
    In lucid, persuasive prose, Brownmiller has created a definitive, devastating work of lasting social importance.Chosen by THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW as One of the Outstanding Books of the Year

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason


Alfie Kohn - 2005
    In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What do kids need — and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting — including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle


Emily Nagoski - 2019
    Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn• what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle—and return your body to a state of relaxation• how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration• how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it• why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnoutWith the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages—and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all.” Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are—and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.

Unlatched: The Evolution of Breastfeeding and the Making of a Controversy


Jennifer Grayson - 2016
    In Unlatched, Jennifer Grayson, an environmental journalist and mother of two young breast-fed children, puts “common knowledge” to the test by breaking down the complex social and political factors that have altered breastfeeding practices around the world for decades.Since the rise of baby formula in the early twentieth century, breastfeeding has gone from a basic biological function to a never-ending controversy and hot topic in the media: an Instagram photo of Blake Lively breastfeeding her daughter gained 367,000 likes was posted across media sites from USA Today to Us Weekly. Donald Trump started an uproar after calling a lawyer “disgusting” for requesting a breastfeeding break during a court case. A photo of an Argentinian politician breastfeeding her eight-month-old during a session of Parliament quickly went viral, drawing a mix of support and criticism. Target’s breastfeeding policy, allowing women to nurse in any area of the store, was recently shared on Facebook to praise from mothers across America. Clearly, this is a topic that constantly makes headlines and sparks heated discussion throughout the world. Growing up, Jennifer Grayson thought nothing of the fact that her mother had not breastfed her. It wasn’t until she became a mother herself that she realized she had missed out on a natural, profound, and incredibly important experience, one that she became determined to give to her own children. Her curiosity about breastfeeding soon turned to passion, leading her to launch a worldwide search for knowledge and stories of breastfeeding. From modern-day Burkina Faso to eighteenth-century France, from China to inner-city Baltimore, Grayson explores the personal stories of women around the world, and their relationship to breastfeeding. Along the way, she takes readers behind the scenes at a formula factory, interviews controversial breastfeeding figures including Michele Bachmann and Dr. William Sears, and shares her own personal experience of extended breastfeeding her now four-year-old daughter. A searing and insightful look into the state of breastfeeding, Unlatched digs deep to uncover the cultural, corporate, political, and technological factors that have transformed the way people think about breastfeeding, and provides a thorough and fascinating study of one of the most contentious issues affecting women today.

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror


Judith Lewis Herman - 1992
    In the intervening years, Herman’s volume has changed the way we think about and treat traumatic events and trauma victims. In a new afterword, Herman chronicles the incredible response the book has elicited and explains how the issues surrounding the topic have shifted within the clinical community and the culture at large. Trauma and Recovery brings a new level of understanding to a set of problems usually considered individually. Herman draws on her own cutting-edge research in domestic violence as well as on the vast literature of combat veterans and victims of political terror, to show the parallels between private terrors such as rape and public traumas such as terrorism. The book puts individual experience in a broader political frame, arguing that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context. Meticulously documented and frequently using the victims’ own words as well as those from classic literary works and prison diaries, Trauma and Recovery is a powerful work that will continue to profoundly impact our thinking.

Wonder Women: 25 Innovators, Inventors, and Trailblazers Who Changed History


Sam Maggs - 2016
    . . · Alice Ball, the chemist who developed an effective treatment for leprosy—only to have the credit taken by a man?· Mary Sherman Morgan, the rocket scientist whose liquid fuel compounds blasted the first U.S. satellite into orbit?· Huang Daopo, the inventor whose weaving technology revolutionized textile production in China—centuries before the cotton gin? Smart women have always been able to achieve amazing things, even when the odds were stacked against them. In Wonder Women, author Sam Maggs tells the stories of the brilliant, brainy, and totally rad women in history who broke barriers as scientists, engineers, mathematicians, adventurers, and inventors. Also included are interviews with real-life women in STEM careers, an extensive bibliography, and a guide to women-centric science and technology organizations—all to show the many ways the geeky girls of today can help build the future.