The Evolving Self: Problem and Process in Human Development


Robert Kegan - 1982
    According to Robert Kegan, meaning-making is a lifelong activity that begins in earliest infancy and continues to evolve through a series of stages encompassing childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. The Evolving Self describes this process of evolution in rich and human detail, concentrating especially on the internal experience of growth and transition, its costs and disruptions as well as its triumphs.At the heart of our meaning-making activity, the book suggests, is the drawing and redrawing of the distinction between self and other. Using Piagetian theory in a creative new way to make sense of how we make sense of ourselves, Kegan shows that each meaning-making stage is a new solution to the lifelong tension between the universal human yearning to be connected, attached, and included, on the one hand, and to be distinct, independent, and autonomous on the other. The Evolving Self is the story of our continuing negotiation of this tension. It is a book that is theoretically daring enough to propose a reinterpretation of the Oedipus complex and clinically concerned enough to suggest a variety of fresh new ways to treat those psychological complaints that commonly arise in the course of development.Kegan is an irrepressible storyteller, an impassioned opponent of the health-and-illness approach to psychological distress, and a sturdy builder of psychological theory. His is an original and distinctive new voice in the growing discussion of human development across the life span.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents


Lindsay C. Gibson - 2015
    You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.Discover the four types of difficult parents:The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxietyThe driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyoneThe passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsettingThe rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions


Johann Hari - 2018
    He was told—like his entire generation—that his problem was caused by a chemical imbalance in his brain. As an adult, trained in the social sciences, he began to investigate this question—and he learned that almost everything we have been told about depression and anxiety is wrong. Across the world, Hari discovered social scientists who were uncovering the real causes—and they are mostly not in our brains, but in the way we live today. Hari’s journey took him from the people living in the tunnels beneath Las Vegas, to an Amish community in Indiana, to an uprising in Berlin—all showing in vivid and dramatic detail these new insights. They lead to solutions radically different from the ones we have been offered up until now.Just as Chasing the Scream transformed the global debate about addiction, with over twenty million views for his TED talk and the animation based on it, Lost Connections will lead us to a very different debate about depression and anxiety—one that shows how, together, we can end this epidemic.

Women's Anatomy Of Arousal: Secret Maps To Buried Pleasure


Sheri Winston - 2009
    We're not just talking about Ye Olde G-Spot here. Women have an entire erectile network that, if properly stimulated, can elevate their erotic experience from "Oh!" to "Oh! Oh! Oh!"Join celebrated sexuality teacher Sheri Winston as she integrates ancient wisdom, lost knowledge and modern sexuality information in a sexy, fun, empowering guidebook that illuminates every woman's secret paths to fabulous, orgasmically abundant sex. Whether you're a woman or a man who loves women, this book is for you! When people apply the information and techniques she provides, the result is often a whole new level of sexual pleasure. Many women experience their first ejaculations and/or become multi- or mega-orgasmic. Men learn how to make their female partner REALLY happy.Women's Anatomy of Arousal includes discussions of anatomy and energetics, female ejaculation and expanded orgasm, and much more.There's even a short chapter for guys ("The Easy Girl's Guide to Making It Easy for Guys") summarizing the main points of the book!ingston, NY-based Center for the Intimate Arts.

The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It


David Niven - 2000
    BASED ON SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH AND PSYCHOLOGICAL STUDIES OF REAL PEOPLE, THESE 100 PRACTICES, ATTITUDES AND HABITS HAVE BEEN PROVEN TO TRANSFORM A UNHAPPY EXISTENCE INTO A FULL AND HAPPY LIFE.Experts have spent their careers investigating what mak

Seven Desires


Debra Laaser - 2008
    Mark and Debra Laaser go to the heart of the matter. Instead of focusing on how to sidestep or compensate for perceived differences, they dig deeper, to the core of our souls, to examine how the basic desires and needs of all people make us more alike than different.The Seven Desires of Every Heart explores the common desires God gives you—to be heard, affirmed, blessed, safe, touched, chosen, and included. Using stories, Biblical references, and sound psychological principles, the Laasers explain each desire and show us how we seek it and what it feels like to have it truly fulfilled. You also will learn healthy ways to embody these desires in your relationships. You will be given the tools you need to start repairing and rebuilding relationships and developing new skills for creating emotional and spiritual intimacy.

Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships


Meg-John Barker - 2018
    We search for The One but find ourselves staying single because nobody measures up. We long for a happily-ever-after but break-up after break-up leave us bruised and confused.Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships is a friendly guide through the complicated - and often contradictory - advice that's given about sex and gender, monogamy and conflict, break-up and commitment. It asks questions about the rules of love, such as which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own? And what about the times when the rules we love by seem to make things worse, rather than better?This new edition, updated throughout, considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways - for example in monogamish and polyamorous relationships, different ways of understanding sex and gender, and new ideas for managing commitment and break-up where economics, communities, or child-care make complete separation impossible. This book considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways, giving you the power to find an approach that best fits your situation.

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men


Lundy Bancroft - 2002
    So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men--and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:The early warning signs of abuse- The nature of abusive thinking- Myths about abusers- Ten abusive personality types- The role of drugs and alcohol- What you can fix, and what you can't- And how to get out of an abusive relationship safelyPrevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

Mind to Matter: The Astonishing Science of How Your Brain Creates Material Reality


Dawson Church - 2018
    It’s held as a firm proposition in metaphysics, and some spiritual teachers ascribe infinite powers to the mind. But are these claims scientifically accurate? What does the scientific evidence tell us about the scope of the human mind to transform thoughts into reality?New research and new discoveries in epigenetics, neuroscience, electromagnetism, psychology, cymatics (the study of wave phenomena), public health, and quantum physics are demonstrating that thoughts can indeed be profoundly creative. In Mind to Matter, award-winning author Dawson Church examines the scientific facts and reviews the studies that show, step by step, exactly how our minds create material form. As each piece of the puzzle falls into place, the science turns out to be even more astonishing than the metaphysics.Throughout the book, Church shares illuminating case histories—up-close, authentic personal accounts of people who had an experience of turning mind into matter. Drawn from the worlds of medicine, sports, business, healing, art, and scientific discovery, these stories run the gamut from profound to inspiring to heart-wrenching. Meticulously researched evidence is presented in highly relatable form, using engaging, understandable, nontechnical analogies. Photos and illustrations enrich the text.As we discover how the universe operates synchronistically, we come to understand that while we have individual local minds, we also participate in universal nonlocal mind. Mind to Matter shows us that as we take charge of our individual power to create, we have the potential, as a species, to catalyze a transformation of our whole world.

Oneness: The Destination You Never Left


John Greven - 2005
    The intent of this book is to look afresh at one’s daily experience, to point to something that the mind may have overlooked. It is not pointing to anything new, anything that you can achieve, or anything you can add to yourself. It is not pointing to the good deeds you have done in your life to emphasize what a wonderful person you must be. It is pointing to something so simple, something so obvious, that when it is pointed out and seen, you wonder how it was ever missed. How could the mind have taken something so obvious for granted? How did the mind so easily toss out the valuable jewel in favor of its reflections? You may have been searching for self realization, enlightenment, the Buddha Mind, God, or some other goal implying the same thing. You may have been searching for many years, or you may just be getting started on a search; Whether you’ve been traveling a path for a while or you’re just taking the first step makes no difference. This book invites you to take a look at the space that has been overlooked, to see what is obvious, and to bring that search to an end—right now.

The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children


Alison Gopnik - 2016
    Yet the thing we call "parenting" is a surprisingly new invention. In the past thirty years, the concept of parenting and the multibillion dollar industry surrounding it have transformed child care into obsessive, controlling, and goal-oriented labor intended to create a particular kind of child and therefore a particular kind of adult. In The Gardener and the Carpenter, the pioneering developmental psychologist and philosopher Alison Gopnik argues that the familiar twenty-first-century picture of parents and children is profoundly wrong--it's not just based on bad science, it's bad for kids and parents, too.Drawing on the study of human evolution and her own cutting-edge scientific research into how children learn, Gopnik shows that although caring for children is profoundly important, it is not a matter of shaping them to turn out a particular way. Children are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful and imaginative, and to be very different both from their parents and from each other. The variability and flexibility of childhood lets them innovate, create, and survive in an unpredictable world. “Parenting" won't make children learn—but caring parents let children learn by creating a secure, loving environment.

Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes


William Bridges - 2004
    Since Transitions was first published, this supportive guide has helped hundreds of thousands of readers cope with these issues by providing an elegantly simple yet profoundly insightful roadmap of the transition process. With the understanding born of both personal and professional experience, William Bridges takes readers step by step through the three stages of any transition: The Ending, The Neutral Zone, and, eventually, The New Beginning. Bridges explains how each stage can be understood and embraced, leading to meaningful and productive movement into a hopeful future. With a new introduction highlighting how the advice in the book continues to apply and is perhaps even more relevant today, and a new chapter devoted to change in the workplace, Transitions will remain the essential guide for coping with the one constant in life: change.

The Evolving Self: A Psychology for the Third Millennium


Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - 1993
    These traits include obsessions with food and sex, addiction to pleasure, excessive rationality and a tendency to focus on the negative. A University of Chicago psychology professor, the author also believes we must free our minds of cultural illusions such as ethnocentric superiority or identification with one's possessions. He urges readers to find ways to reduce the oppression, exploitation and inequality that are woven into the fabric of society. Further, he wants us to control the direction of human evolution by pursuing challenging activities that lead to greater complexity while opposting chaos and conformity. Each chapter concludes with self-help questions and mental exercises designed to help readers apply the insights of this literate manifesto to their daily lives.

Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together


Kathryn Alice - 2006
    Love Will Find You is a true antidote to all the strict rules-oriented dating books out there, explaining why every one of the 110 million single Americans have reason to celebrate: Nothing will keep love from you Even if you never leave the house, your soulmate will find you You are never too old, too fat, or too poor for love There is no such thing as rejection, only the wrong fit Hate going out? Does every singles' event feel like a convention of desperation? Are you stuck in a past "crazy love" relationship you can't shake? Using the nine love magnets, Kathryn Alice has helped thousands of people to discard their old notions of dating, teaching practical steps to get love, including: healing your perceived "fatal flaws"; decluttering your heart and releasing old loves; sending out a soul call; and banishing the idea that you need to kiss 100 frogs to find your prince(ss).

Personality: What Makes You the Way You Are


Daniel Nettle - 2007
    Why are some people worriers, and others wanderers? Why are some people so easy-going and laid-back, while others are always looking for a fight? Written by Daniel Nettle--author of the popular book Happiness--this brief volume takes the reader on an exhilarating tour of what modern science can tell us about human personality. Revealing that our personalities stem from our biological makeup, Nettle looks at the latest findings from genetics and brain science, and considers the evolutionary origins and consequences of different personalities. The heart of the book sheds light on the "big five": Extraversion, Neuroticism, Conscientious, Agreeableness, and Openness. Using a stimulating blend of true-life stories and scientific research, Nettle explains why we have something deep and consistent within us that determines the choices we make and situations we bring about. He addresses such questions as why members of the same family differ so markedly in their natures? What is the best personality to have--a bold one or a shy one, an aggressive one or a meek one? And are you stuck with your personality, or can you change it? Life, Nettle concludes, is partly the business of finding a niche where your personality works for you. "It is a question of choosing the right pond," he notes, "and being mindful of the dangers." There is no ideal personality to have. Every disposition brings both advantages and disadvantages.Full of human wisdom as well as scientific insight, this book illuminates the pluses and minuses of personality, offering practical advice about living with the nature you were born with. It even includes a questionnaire so that you can assess yourself.