Book picks similar to
Perversion: The Erotic Form of Hatred by Robert J. Stoller


psychology
non-fiction
psychotherapy
psychiatry-psychology

I'm OK - You're OK


Thomas A. Harris - 1967
    “Happy childhood” notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the not ok feelings of a defenseless child wholly dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a “position” about ourselves which very significantly determines how we feel about ourselves, particularly in relation to other people. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is that I’m Not OK-You’re OK. This negative Life Position, shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational adult potential, leaving us vulnerable to the inappropriate, emotional reactions of our child and the uncritically learned behavior programmed into our parent. By exploring the four basic “life positions,” we can radically change our lives.

The True “Drama of the Gifted Child”: The Phantom Alice Miller — The Real Person


Martin Miller - 2013
    As her son and as an experienced psychotherapist I discovered the secret who Alice Miller really was. My mother always cared that nothing of her private life got public. She created a fictional character in her books and in mine she gets a real person, a man of flesh and blood. It’s also my history because I describe, how it is when you are faced, as a child and in second generation, with the not coped post-war trauma of your parents. Alice Miller created a mother image in her books she never complied. My book shows what happens when you do not overcome your traumas and you pass them on the next generation. The book is also a concrete application of Alice Miller’s theory. It shows how you can overcome the terrible legacy of your parents in a therapeutical way. I can release myself of the filial involvement with my parents by having elaborated my own biography.

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love


bell hooks - 2003
    But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are -- whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways. She believes men can find the way to spiritual unity by getting back in touch with the emotionally open part of themselves -- and lay claim to the rich and rewarding inner lives that have historically been the exclusive province of women. A brave and astonishing work, The Will to Change is designed to help men reclaim the best part of themselves

Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget


Marianne J. Legato - 2005
    . . and this book from the founder of gender medicine uncovers the neuroscientific reasons behind age-old disputes between men and women, while providing a groundbreaking, authoritative, and reader-friendly guide to resolving these differencesWhy won't he ask for directions? Why does she always want to talk about the relationship? Why can't he see that something is bothering her?* But perhaps the biggest questions Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget resolves are: Why is it so hard for men and women to understand each other . . . and what can we do about it?According to Dr. Marianne Legato, an internationally recognized expert in gender-specific medicine, male and female brains are chemically and structurally different. And scientists are now finding out how these differences cause us to approach problems and experience the world in such dissimilar ways.So how do we bridge this physiological gap? Dr. Legato provides strategies and tips for learning to "think" like the other sex in order to get past our differences-and offers smart advice for dealing with issues wherever they arise. This trailblazing book will enable readers to understand each other-in both personal and professional relationships-like never before.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed


Lori Gottlieb - 2019
    One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but. As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients' lives -- a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can't stop hooking up with the wrong guys -- she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell. With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.

How to Satisfy A Woman Every Time...and Have Her Beg for More!


Naura Hayden - 1983
    It spent over 63 weeks on The New York Times Bestseller list and reached the #1 spot in the Advice, How-To and Miscellaneous section of the list. In 1992, it was Publishers Weekly's longest running hardcover bestseller, with 35 weeks on the list.

Sexual Politics


Kate Millett - 1969
    Her work rocked the foundations of the literary canon by castigating time-honored classics for their use of sex to degrade women.

The Language of Sex: Experiencing the Beauty of Sexual Intimacy


Gary Smalley - 2008
    With his pastor and friend, Ted Cunningham, Smalley nudges past our hang-ups and sacred cows to answer the question, How can I have the best sex of my life? The answer may surprise you. Did you know that great sex begins with security, which leads to intimacy, which leads to incredible sex? It's only as we take an honest look at the differences between men and women and find ways to bridge the gap that we can create the security and intimacy that great sex needs to flourish. In The Language of Sex, Smalley and Ted Cunningham peel back the layers of mystery and show us how to do just that!

Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity


Julia Serano - 2007
    Serano shares her experiences and observations—both pre- and post-transition—to reveal the ways in which fear, suspicion, and dismissiveness toward femininity shape our societal attitudes toward trans women, as well as gender and sexuality as a whole.Serano's well-honed arguments stem from her ability to bridge the gap between the often-disparate biological and social perspectives on gender. She exposes how deep-rooted the cultural belief is that femininity is frivolous, weak, and passive, and how this “feminine” weakness exists only to attract and appease male desire.In addition to debunking popular misconceptions about transsexuality, Serano makes the case that today's feminists and transgender activist must work to embrace and empower femininity—in all of its wondrous forms.

Learning Good Consent: On Healthy Relationships and Survivor Support


Cindy Crabb - 2016
    Building ethical relationships is one of the most important things we can do, but sex, consent, abuse, and support can get complicated. This collection is an indispensable guide to both preventing sexual violence and helping its survivors to heal. Includes a foreword by Kiyomi Fujikawa and Jenna Peters-Golden.“Whether or not you think you need it, whether or not you’re a survivor, or dating a survivor, or even having sex, you would probably benefit from reading this book. And the people you choose to be intimate with will probably thank you for making their safety a priority.” —Nomy Lamm, Feminist Review “Learning Good Consent … offers powerful, complicated information (instead of shallow questions and uncomplicated answers). This book speaks to those who are unlearning silence as a safety/communication strategy.” —Jen Cross, make/shift“Essential reading.” —Colin Atrophy Hagendorf, author of Slice Harvester “What this book does is to stress consent: not ‘no means no,’ or even ‘yes means yes,’ but ‘Do you want me to stay here with you?’ ‘Are you here?’ ‘I thought I wanted this, but I’m not sure now.’ ‘Do you think we should take this farther?’ I’m moved that this book is here. It matters.” —Alison Piepmeier, author of Girl Zines: Making Media, Doing Feminism Cindy Crabb is an author of the influential, feminist, autobiographical ‘zine Doris, which has been anthologized into two books: The Encyclopedia of Doris: Stories, Essays and Interviews and Doris: An Anthology 1991–2001. Her essays and analyses of the impact of her writing have appeared in numerous books and magazines, including: The Riot Grrrl Collection; Stay Solid! A Radical Handbook for Youth; Girl Zines: Making Media, Doing Feminism; and We Don’t Need Another Wave: Dispatches from the Next Generation of Feminists.

Superflirt


Tracey Cox - 2003
    Packed with intimate photographs of real-life scenarios, this is the most stylish, elegantly designed, and up-to-date guide to body language available.

Man Leads...: woman follows, Everyone wins.


Ro Elori Cutno - 2013
    MAN LEADS brings global insight, practices, and wisdom to demonstrate clear examples of what a truly loving relationship and family really looks like. According to the 2 year long global study conducted by the title's author, the only way that a relationship is capable of true fulfillment, is when everyone involved agrees that 1 MAN LEADS...Even if woman gracefully and indirectly leads man with her femininity and nurturing touch and sex. This book will drastically change the way you view yourself in relationships. Gaining such a valuable collection of global wisdom will undoubtedly strengthen modern families, teach how to achieve the deep love we all need, sharpen the skills of a masculine man or a feminine woman, and bring much comfort to any person who enjoys embracing traditional roles when it comes to masculine RESPECT and feminine LOVE.

The New Topping Book


Janet W. Hardy - 1996
    Tens of thousands learned the emotional and ethical skills of BDSM topping from the first `Topping Book.` Now, in addition to the sage advice and good humor that made the first edition a classic, the authors tackle some of the issues that have come up for tops in the last six years: on-line domination, the challenges and rewards of `lifestyle` relationships, ensuring our own and our partners` safety, and more.

Jung: A Very Short Introduction


Anthony Stevens - 1994
    Though he was a prolific writer and an original thinker of vast erudition, Jung lacked a gift for clear exposition, and his ideas are less widely appreciated than they deserve to be. Now, in this extremely accessible introduction, Anthony Stevens--one of Britain's foremost Jungian analysts--clearly explains the basic concepts of Jungian psychology: the collective unconscious, complex, archetype, shadow, persona, anima, animus, and the individualization of the Self. A small masterpiece of insight and concision, this volume offers a clear portrait of one of the twentieth century's most important and controversial thinkers.About the Series: Combining authority with wit, accessibility, and style, Very Short Introductions offer an introduction to some of life's most interesting topics. Written by experts for the newcomer, they demonstrate the finest contemporary thinking about the central problems and issues in hundreds of key topics, from philosophy to Freud, quantum theory to Islam.

Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy


Rachel Krantz - 2022
    Excited and a little trepidatious, Rachel set out to see whether love and a serious partnership with Adam could coexist alongside the freedom to explore relationships with other people. Their relationship was designed to strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, calibrated to fan desire for the long haul.Armed with her instincts from her career as a journalist, Rachel not only put her own heart on the line, she also kept detailed journals, interviewed experts and therapists, immersed herself in the polyamory community, and relentlessly interrogated her own emotions. Now, in her debut memoir, she chronicles her dive into non-monogamy--from debilitating anxiety spirals to heart-opening connections with the men and women she dates--with an unflinching eye, fly-on-the-wall detail, and extraordinary perceptiveness. Through page-turning storytelling, she takes us inside the Brooklyn parties where Rachel first dips her toes in the water of non-monogamy; into the wider swinger and polyamory community where they search for a relationship style that suits them; and into her private moments with Adam and their other lovers. As she and Adam attempt to write a new plot for their love story, she also runs up against miscommunications, ancient power dynamics, and seeming betrayals that threaten the foundation of their love. Rachel breaks new ground in confronting the unique ways coercion and gaslighting manifest in open relationships, and finds herself wondering what liberation really looks like.Casting new light on universal experiences like jealousy, restlessness, and love, Open explores the seemingly endless range of relationships couples have created to answer their desires, and ultimately probes the questions: Can we have both freedom and love? How can we reconcile comfort and lust? Is a relationship ever equal? And is the pleasure worth the pain?