Book picks similar to
Love Me by Danger Slater


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bizarro-fiction

Alan Lennox and the Temp Job of Doom


Brian Olsen - 2013
    But Alan’s new job proves to be anything but boring when his co-workers start turning up dead. The mysterious megacorporation Amalgamated Synergy has taken a deadly interest in Alan and his three roommates, and the hapless quartet are woefully unequipped to deal with the psychotic secretaries, murderous middle managers, and villainous vice-presidents hunting them down. Their investigation leads them deep into Amalgamated Synergy’s headquarters, but can Alan and his friends stay alive long enough to discover who – or what – waits for them on the top floor?

Monster High


Lisi Harrison - 2005
    They prefer to call themselves RAD (Regular Attribute Dodgers), but some call them monsters. So far, the "monster" community has kept a low profile in Salem, but this year two new girls enroll at Master High School, and the town will never be the same.Created just fifteen days ago, Frankie Stein is psyched to trade her father's formaldehyde-smelling basement lab for parties and cheerleading. But with a student body totally freaked out by rumors of monsters who might be stalking the halls, Frankie finds that life in the "normi" world can be rough for a chic freak like her. She thinks she finds a friend in fellow new student Melody Carver--but can a normi be trusted with her big secret?

The Seven Steps to Closure


Donna Joy Usher - 2012
    Things go from bad to worse when she discovers that, not only is her ex-husband engaged to her cousin - Tash, the woman he left her for - but that Jake is also running for Lord Mayor of Sydney.Desperate to leave the destructive relationship behind and with nothing to lose, she decides- with encouragement from her three best friends - to follow the dubious advice from a magazine article, Closure in Seven Easy Steps.The Seven Steps to Closure follows Tara on her sometimes disastrous- always hilarious - path to achieve the seemingly impossible.

The Royal Treatment


Melanie Summers - 2017
    But that won’t be enough now that the Royal Family is about to be ousted from power once and for all. When Prince Arthur has to rely on the one woman in the kingdom who hates him most, he must learn that earning the love of a nation means first risking his heart. Twenty-eight-year-old Tessa Sharpe, a.k.a. The Royal Watchdog, hates everything about Prince Arthur. As far as she’s concerned, he’s an arrogant, lazy leech on the kingdom of Avonia. When he shocks the nation by giving her the keys to the castle, Tessa has no choice but to accept and move in for two months. It’s lust at first sight, but there’s no way she can give in to her feelings—not if she wants to have a career or a shred of pride left when her time at the palace ends… Can two natural enemies find their forever in each other’s arms, or will they ruin each other to save themselves?

The Third Policeman


Flann O'Brien - 1967
    Told by a narrator who has committed a botched robbery and brutal murder, the novel follows him and his adventures in a two-dimensional police station where, through the theories of the scientist/philosopher de Selby, he is introduced to "Atomic Theory" and its relation to bicycles, the existence of eternity (which turns out to be just down the road), and de Selby's view that the earth is not round but "sausage-shaped." With the help of his newly found soul named "Joe," he grapples with the riddles andcontradictions that three eccentric policeman present to him.The last of O'Brien's novels to be published, The Third Policeman joins O'Brien's other fiction (At Swim-Two-Birds, The Poor Mouth, The Hard Life, The Best of Myles, The Dalkey Archive) to ensure his place, along with James Joyce and Samuel Beckett, as one of Ireland's great comic geniuses.

Eeeee Eee Eeee


Tao Lin - 2007
    Confused yet intelligent animals attempt to interact with confused yet intelligent humans, resulting in the death of Elijah Wood, Salman Rushdie, and Wong Kar-Wai; the destruction of a Domino's Pizza delivery car in Orlando; and a vegan dinner at a sushi restaurant in Manhattan attended by a dolphin, a bear, a moose, an alien, three humans, and the President of the United States of America, who lectures on the arbitrary nature of consciousness, truth, and the universe before getting drunk and playing poker.

Location, Location, Damnation


Nick Moseley - 2013
    He knows the market inside out, house prices are steady, and the only competition in the office is Barry, who has all the wit and charm of a mouth ulcer.But there are other forces at work in Brackenford besides the unquenchable desire of grannies to buy bungalows, as Trev discovers when he witnesses a shadowy entity possess a man in a local café. A man who goes straight home and murders his wife and her lover. With a cricket bat.A lifelong sceptic of the paranormal, Trev is still trying to rationalise these events when he discovers that his own grandfather is rather more than the curmudgeonly whisky-enthusiast he appears to be. The old man is also Brackenford’s Custodian, a role which requires him to keep the peace among the town’s supernatural residents, and he believes that Trev can help him.Trev disagrees; but when he inadvertently foils an assassination attempt on Brackenford’s most famous resident, the slick supermarket tycoon Alastair Kolley, he finds that he’s upgraded his status from “potential collateral damage” to “target” in the eyes of the bad guys. But who are the bad guys? Is it the tabloid-reading ghouls who live in the sewers? The werewolf self-help group that meets in the church hall? Or the local lord of the manor, who looks pretty sprightly for a man who’s over 150 years old? Trev hasn’t a clue, and the only help he’s got comes from a septuagenarian, a puritanical Victorian ghost, and the world’s most sarcastic cat.Yep – he’s basically screwed.

Disenchanted


Robert Kroese - 2012
    He just didn’t expect it to be so damn fickle.Felled by an assassin’s blade, he should be spending eternity carousing in the Hall of Avandoor. Instead, his spirit is bound to his decaying body by the enchanted sword of Brakslaagt. And unless he can hunt down the mysterious Lord Brand, who gave him the weapon so long ago, he is cursed to wander the earth forever as an undead wraith.So begins Boric’s extraordinary journey across the Six Kingdoms of Dis as a walking corpse who wants nothing more than to be disenchanted and left in peace. His is not an easy quest: along the way he is burned, riddled with arrows, and nearly blown to bits. But when he finally comes face-to-face with Lord Brand, Boric will discover that nothing - in life, in death, or in between - is exactly what it seems.

The Cat Manual


Michael Ray Taylor - 2012
    The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers, all of whom have their claws out, but despite her best efforts the word is spreading: The Cat Manual is hilarious for cat-lovers of all ages. From the author of Cave Passages and Dark Life.

Finlay Donovan Is Killing It


Elle Cosimano - 2021
    A stressed-out single mom of two and struggling novelist, Finlay’s life is in chaos: The new book she promised her literary agent isn’t written; her ex-husband fired the nanny without telling her; and this morning she had to send her four-year-old to school with hair duct-taped to her head after an incident with scissors.When Finlay is overheard discussing the plot of her new suspense novel with her agent over lunch, she’s mistaken for a contract killer and inadvertently accepts an offer to dispose of a problem husband in order to make ends meet. She soon discovers that crime in real life is a lot more difficult than its fictional counterpart, as she becomes tangled in a real-life murder investigation.Fast-paced, deliciously witty, and wholeheartedly authentic in depicting the frustrations and triumphs of motherhood in all its messiness, hilarity, and heartfelt moments, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It is the first in a brilliant new series from award-winning Elle Cosimano.

Mindsploitation: Asinine Assignments for the Online Homework Cheating Industry


Vernon Chatman - 2013
    But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

Just One of the Guys


Kristan Higgins - 2008
    Two tiny problems: #1--she's five feet eleven inches of rock-solid girl power, and #2--she's cursed with four alpha male older brothers.While doing a story on local heroes, she meets a hunky doctor and things start to look up. Now there's only one problem: Trevor Meade, her first love and the one man she's never quite gotten over--although he seems to have gotten over her just fine.Yet the more time she spends with Dr. Perfect, the better Trevor looks. But even with the in-your-face competition, the irresistible Trevor just can't seem to see Chastity as anything more than just one of the guys....

Three Girls and a Baby


Rachel Schurig - 2011
    Finished with college, she should have been planning her wedding. After all, Ginny and Josh were made for each other—everyone said so. Except the love of her life didn't agree. Now Ginny is back in her hometown, unwillingly single, and stuck in a dead-end job. When she discovers she's pregnant, Ginny is convinced her life is ending. Instead of planning a future with Josh, she's learning the truth about morning sickness, juggling bills, and seeing just how far designer jeans can stretch.Her life-plan never included dating again (not even with her too-hot new boss), or being a single mother at 23. Now, with the help of her best friends, Annie and Jen, Ginny must try to re-imagine—and rebuild—a life she never wanted.

How to Choose a Guy in 10 Days


Lila Monroe - 2018
    All she has to do is take some fashion-backward guy from geek to GQ-worthy. The only problem? The man in question is her hairy manwhore of a next-door neighbor. AKA Bigfoot.Zach Morrison has zero interest in being Gemma’s makeover mannequin. Sure, it’s fun getting his smart-mouthed neighbor all riled up, but after cashing out of his tech start-up and going through an ugly break-up, he’s taking a permanent vacation. If he wants to wear sweatpants and sleep on a mattress in the corner of an empty apartment—OK. Maybe he needs a little push in the right direction. But as Gemma races the clock to win her bet, she finds that Bigfoot’s been hiding a few things under his baggy flannel shirts. Like abs of steel, and a surprisingly big...Heart. He has a big heart.Soon, sparks are flying between this unlikely couple, but can Zach embrace a fresh start - however manscaped it might be? And will Gemma beat out her Instabitch rival for the top spot - and keep the truth about their bet from Zach?

Super Fetus


Adam Pepper - 2009
    His problem: she wants to have him aborted. But what this bitch doesn't know is that she isn't pregnant with some mild-mannered developing human form. Heck no. This is Super Fetus. He has an attitude and he is deter mined to be born, whether she likes it or not. Doing push-ups in the womb day and night, until he becomes amazingly buff, this little fetus is prepared to fight off the onslaught of vacuums, tongs, coat hangers, and scalpels. Once that sonofabitch doctor comes for him... he'll be ready. A horrific and humorous romp with strange characters, stranger sex scenes, and one kick-ass musclebound fetus.