F in Retakes: Even More Test Paper Blunders
Richard Benson - 2012
The F in Exams are over, the results are in and just when you thought it was safe to go back in the classroom… BANG! It’s time for F in Retakes! Enjoy another heady dose of hilarious answers that canny students have given to the trickiest exam questions.
Island of the Sequined Love Nun
Christopher Moore - 1997
Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.
Be a Flamingo & Stand Out From the Crowd
Sarah Ford - 2017
She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.
Geek Wisdom: The Sacred Teachings of Nerd Culture
Stephen H. Segal - 2011
Clearly, geeks know something about life in the 21st century that other folks don’t—something we all can learn from. Geek Wisdom takes as gospel some 200 of the most powerful and oft-cited quotes from movies (“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads”), television (“Now we know—and knowing is half the battle”), literature (“All that is gold does not glitter”), games, science, the Internet, and more. Now these beloved pearls of modern-day culture have been painstakingly interpreted by a diverse team of hardcore nerds with their imaginations turned up to 11. Yes, this collection of mini-essays is by, for, and about geeks—but it’s just so surprisingly profound, the rest of us would have to be dorks not to read it. So say we all.
Men & Cats
Marie-Eva Gatuingt - 2015
Based on the chic French Tumblr Des Hommes et des Chatons,
Men & Cats
presents an original collection of 50 pairs of sexy men and adorable cats. Each clever match-up shows a heartthrob posing alongside a cat in a similar pose or with a similar expression. Not sure if you want to look at sexy men or cute cats? With this book, you don't have to choose.
Doorways in the Sand
Roger Zelazny - 1976
Humanity is not alone in the cosmos. The aliens have given a precious relic to the people of Earth: star-stone. But the harmony of the galaxy is endangered when they discover that the star-stone has disappeared. Likeable Fred Cassidy is an eternal undergraduate. All he thinks he knows about the star-stone is that it came to Earth in an interplanetary trade for the Mona Lisa and the British Crown jewels. When Fred is accused of stealing the cosmic artefact, he is pursued from Australia to Greenwich Village and beyond, by telepathic psychologists, extra-terrestrial hoodlums and galactic police in disguise. Follow him on his adventures as he enters multiple realities, flipping in and out of alien perspectives, through doorways in the sand.
English Fairy Tales and Legends
Rosalind Kerven - 2008
Folk tales and legends are an intrinsic part of English national culture—so which are the fairy tales from England? Rosalind Kerven presents an answer here, as she has revived the best of these tales for a new generation with more than a dozen classics rewritten to engage readers. The 15 stories include tales of giants, dragons, fairies, beauty-and-the-beast, and Arthurian romance. Each tale is linked with a specific place or county in England—for example, "The Dragon Castle" from Northumberland, "The Girl Snatched By Fairies" from County Durham, "The Princess and the Fool" from Kent, and "The Dark Moon" from Lincolnshire. The second half of the book has notes on each story relating where the history came from, its development, and short summaries of many related or similar stories.
Lost and Found
Alan Dean Foster - 2004
But that’s all in the past, part of a life half forgotten—a reality that vanished when he was attacked while camping and tossed aboard a starship bound for deep space.Desperately, Walker searches for explanations, only to realize he’s trapped in a horrifying nightmare that is all too real. Instead of being a rich hotshot at the top of the food chain, Walker discovers he’s just another amusing novelty, part of a cargo of “cute” aliens from primitive planets—destined to be sold as pets to highly advanced populations in “civilized” regions of the galaxy.Even if he weren’t constantly watched by his captors, Walker has few options. After all, there is no escape from a speeding starship. Another man might resign himself to the inevitable and hope to be sold to a kindly owner, but not Walker. This former college football star has plenty of American ingenuity and no intention of admitting defeat, now or ever. In fact, he’s only just begun to fight.
The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, Vol. 3
Diana Wynne Jones - 2006
The third Chrestomanci omnibus edition features "Conrad's Fate" and "The Pinhoe Egg," with breathtaking new art to match the previous two volumes.
Zombie Queen of Newbury High
Amanda Ashby - 2009
She is dating super hot football god Rob, and he actually likes her and asked her to prom! Enter Samantha?cheerleading goddess and miss popularity? who starts making a move for Rob. With prom in a few days, Mia needs to act fast. So she turns to her best friend, Candice, and decides to do a love spell on Rob. Unfortunately, she ends up inflicting a zombie virus onto her whole class, making herself their leader! At first she is flattered that everyone is treating her like a queen. But then zombie hunter hottie Chase explains they are actually fattening her up, because in a few days, Mia will be the first course in their new diet. She?s sure she and Chase can figure something out, but she suggests that no one wear white to prom, because things could get very messy.
The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl
Melissa Keil - 2014
She loves living behind the bakery, and waking up in a cloud of sugar and cinnamon. She loves drawing comics and watching bad TV with her friends.The only problem is she’s overlooked a few teeny details:Like, the guy she thought long gone has unexpectedly reappeared.And the boy who has been her best friend since forever has suddenly gone off the rails. And even her latest comic-book creation is misbehaving.Also, the world might be ending – which is proving to be awkward.As Doomsday enthusiasts flock to idyllic Eden Valley, Alba’s life is thrown into chaos. Whatever happens next, it’s the end of the world as she knows it. But when it comes to figuring out her heart, Armageddon might turn out to be the least of her problems.
A Secret History of Witches
Louisa Morgan - 2017
Even so, her family keeps the Old Faith, practicing the spells and rites that have been handed from mother to daughter for generations. Until one day, Ursule’s young granddaughter steps into the circle, and magic flows anew.From early 19th century Brittany to London during the Second World War, five generations of witches fight the battles of their time, deciding how far they are willing to go to protect their family, their heritage, and ultimately, all of our futures.
Summon the Keeper
Tanya Huff - 1998
The owner and monitor of the site disappears, leaving Claire stuck managing the place until the problem is solved. Her new employee, Dean McIssac, is a gorgeous Newfie who cooks, cleans, and lives the Boy Scout oath. Then there's Jacques Labaet: very French Canadian, very sexy, very dead. Jacques is a ghost who wants to be the man in Claire's life. Oh yeah, and there's Austin, a talking cat with attitude: "I barely know you, but I'm assuming you're human. I'm not saying this is a good thing, it's just the way it is."
How to Massage Your Cat
Alice May Brock - 1985
Now out on the prowl with a new cover that's the cat's meow, it's ready to inspire a second wave of cats and their owners to relax into a catnap. Author and illustrator Alice M. Brock (of Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" fame) counsels cat owners to approach the cat quietly with palms "up and open." Beginning at the rear, the masseur works all the way around the cat using a "vigorous kneading motion," then rubs, presses, twists, and tugs the cat into a state of complete relaxation. We are assured that a well-massaged cat may remain in a state of prolonged calm "for some time." Brock's instructions are accompanied by charming illustrations sure to inspire a mischievous chuckle in both friends and foes of felines everywhere.
Castle Waiting, Vol. 1
Linda Medley - 2006
A fable for modern times, Castle Waiting is a fairy tale that's not about rescuing the princess, saving the kingdom, or fighting the ultimate war between Good and Evil, but about being a hero in your own home. The opening story, "The Brambly Hedge," tells the origin of the castle itself, which is abandoned by its princess in a comic twist on "Sleeping Beauty" when she rides off into the sunset with her Prince Charming. The castle becomes a refuge for misfits, outcasts, and others seeking sanctuary, playing host to a lively and colorful cast of characters that inhabits the subsequent stories, including a talking anthropomorphic horse, a mysteriously pregnant Lady on the run, and a bearded nun.