Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    In this delightful collection, the longtime United States senator shares his favorite anecdotes, witticisms, and reminiscences. From the campaign trail to the Oval Office, from smoke-filled rooms to the chambers of the Capitol, Bob Dole surveys a century of political wit.  There are bon mots from Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy, and a host of other political figures. Bob Dole introduces each section with mirthful moments from his own experience, displaying the gift for wry humor that has made him a favorite guest on late-night talk shows.A jovial--and completely bipartisan--compendium, Great Political Wit is a connoisseur's selection of political repartee at its best.

    This crafty revision of English vocabulary posits that Platypus should signify “to give your cat pigtails;” that Flemish should mean “rather like snot;” and that Celtic is in fact a prison for fleas. With nearly 600 new definitions, this side-splitting resource pushes the boundaries of the English language to riotous new limits.

    You could say we're the #1 nation at being the best at greatness.But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around--we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders. Worse, the L.A. Four Seasons Hotel doesn't even have a dedicated phone button for the Spa. You have to dial an extension! Where did we lose our way?!It's high time we restored America to the greatness it never lost!Luckily, AMERICA AGAIN will singlebookedly pull this country back from the brink. It features everything from chapters, to page numbers, to fonts. Covering subject's ranging from healthcare ("I shudder to think where we'd be without the wide variety of prescription drugs to treat our maladies, such as think-shuddering") to the economy ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're shipping them to the Chinese to make our lemon-flavored leadonade") to food ("Feel free to deep fry this book—it's a rich source of fiber"), Stephen gives America the dose of truth it needs to get back on track.

    Rolling Stone magazine has called songwriter Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields the Cole Porter of his generation; O, The Oprah Magazine has hailed cartoonist Roz Chast as the wryest pen since Dorothy Parker's. Together they have crafted a witty and unique book in celebration of two-letter words, focusing on the 101 such words that count in Scrabble. Featuring original four-line poems by Merritt and color illustrations by Chast, 101 Two-Letter Words covers familiar words (go, hi, no, ox) as well as obscure ones (ka, oe, qi, xu). With the dark wit and clever wordplay of Edward Gorey or Shel Silverstein, this book is sure to delight not just Scrabble players and crossword puzzle fanatics but also anyone in thrall to the weirdest corners of the English language."

    All her life, Eden Sher has suffered from dyscommunicatia (n. the inability to articulate a feeling through words.). Then, one day, she decided that, whenever she had an emotion for which she had no word, she would make one up. The result of this is The Emotionary, which lives at the intersection of incredibly funny and very useful. Chock full of words you always wanted/never knew you needed, often accompanied by illustrations of hilarious and all-too-familiar situations, The Emotionary will be a cherished tool for you or the world-class feelings-haver in your life.   At long last, all your complicated feelings can be put into words, so you can recognize them for what they are, speak their names aloud, and move on. Finally!From the Hardcover edition.

    Volcanoes. Sharks. Quicksand. Terrorists. The pilot of the plane blacks out and it's up to you to land the jet. What do you do? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help: jam-packed with how-to, hands-on, step-by-step, illustrated instructions on everything you need to know FAST-from defusing a bomb to delivering a baby in the back of a cab. Providing frightening and funny real information in the best-selling tradition of the Paranoid's Pocket Guide and Hypochondriac's Handbook, this indispensable, indestructible pocket-sized guide is the definitive handbook for those times when life takes a sudden turn for the worse. The essential companion for a perilous age. Because you never know...

    Situations include these men in art and antiquity sharing keen insight on the female anatomy, an eloquent defense of catcalling, or offering sage advice about horseback riding to the woman who owns the horse and many more situations.

    With over 400,000 copies sold, Benrik's brand of unhinged self-help has changed countless lives worldwide, some of them even for the better. "This Book Will Change Your Life" collects together the 365 best extreme life-changing tasks from the cult series "This Diary Will Change Your Life", and constitutes the definitive version. Road-tested by thousands of devotees, if this book doesn't change your life, you're most probably dead. Enjoy! 'Hip, visually delightful and almost endlessly engaging' - "The Guardian". 'Cheerfully nihilistic' - "The Times". 'Wonderful, zany, absorbing' - "The Observer". 'Will put a smile on even the gloomiest Monday-morning face' - "Glamour".

    is sure to make you laugh.Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including: -More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. -Thousands of observations on everyday life—from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. -All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.

    Visual jokes and puns, fantasies and long thoughts-taking the reader to here, there, and Nirvana (sometimes with a side trip to Portland). A New York Times bestseller. 248,000 copies in print.

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    And, for better or worse, I 'jotted' them down. It was only later, when perhaps I received an angry letter from someone, that it struck me: Hey! Someone's been reading my diary!"Gary Larson, from the preface to The Complete Far SideRevered by its fans as the funniest, most original, most "What the ... ?"-inspiring cartoon ever, The Far Side® debuted in January 1980 and enjoyed an illustrious 14 years on the worlds comics pages until Gary Larson's retirement in 1994. The Complete Far Side celebrates Gary's twisted, irreverent genius in this ultimate Far Side book, a lavish production, which takes its place alongside collector's-edition art books.A masterpiece of comic brilliance, The Complete Far Side contains every Far Side cartoon ever syndicated over 4,000 if you must know presented in (more or less) chronological order by year of publication, with more than 1,100 thathave never before appeared in a book. Also included are additional Far Side cartoons Larson created afterhis retirement: 13 that appeared in the last Far Side book, Last Chapter and Worse, and six cartoons that periodically ran as a special feature in The New York Times Science Times section as The Far Side of Science.Creator Gary Larson offers a rare glimpse into the mind of The Far Side®in quirky and thoughtful introductions to each of the 14 chapters. Complaint letters, fan letters, and queries from puzzled readers appear alongside some of the more provocative or elusive panels. Actor, author,and comedian Steve Martin offers his pithy thoughts in a foreword, and GaryLarson's former editor describes what it was like to be "the guy who could explain every Far Side cartoon."The Complete Far Side © 2003 by FarWorks, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The Far Side ® and the Larson ® signature are registered trademarks of FarWorks, Inc.

    Since 1987, the Bathroom Readers’ Institute has led the movement to stand up for those who sit down and read in the bathroom (and everywhere else for that matter). With more than 11 million books in print, the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader series is the longest-running, most popular series of its kind in the world.Where else could you learn about a woman who broke her legs flying a pig, a student who got credit for dressing like a lobster, and a man who patented a method for determining the sex of a spinach plant? Uncle John rules the world of bizarre information and humor, so get ready to be thoroughly entertained. Read all about…* The world’s longest ear hair* A girl raised by dogs* Celebrity death conspiracies* Goblins, the horny horse man, Yowie, and other strange creatures* And much more!

    Mangled Moments of Western Civilization from Term Papers & Blue Book Exams Did You Know:Cesar was assassinated on the Yikes of March when he is reported to have said, "Me too, Brutus!"Stalin, Roosevelt, Churchill, and Truman were known as the "Big Three"Rasputin was a pheasant by birthJudyism had one big God named YahooWestward expansion ended at Custard's Last StandMarie Curie won the Noel Prize for inventing the radiatorThe Civil Rights movement turned the corner with Martin Luther Junior's famous "If I Had a Hammer" speech