From adjectives and exclamation points to dialect and hoopetedoodle, Elmore Leonard explains what to avoid, what to aspire to, and what to do when it sounds like "writing" (rewrite).Beautifully designed, filled with free-flowing, elegant illustrations and specially priced, Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing is the perfect writer's—and reader's—gift.

    . . Don't Tell Me! to test their knowledge of the week's dumbest news against some of the best and brightest-panelists including author and humorist Roy Blount Jr., author and radio anomaly Tom Bodett, syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson ("Ask Amy"), Atlantic Monthly journalist P.J. O'Rourke, Washington Post columnist Roxanne Roberts, and other know-it-alls.

    For the seventeenth-century aristocratic Frenchman, it meant changing his shirt once a day, using perfume to obliterate both his own aroma and everyone else’s, but never immersing himself in – horrors! – water. By the early 1900s, an extraordinary idea took hold in North America – that frequent bathing, perhaps even a daily bath, was advisable. Not since the Roman Empire had people been so clean, and standards became even more extreme as the millennium approached. Now we live in a deodorized world where germophobes shake hands with their elbows and where sales of hand sanitizers, wipes and sprays are skyrocketing.The apparently routine task of taking up soap and water (or not) is Katherine Ashenburg’s starting point for a unique exploration of Western culture, which yields surprising insights into our notions of privacy, health, individuality, religion and sexuality.Ashenburg searches for clean and dirty in plague-ridden streets, medieval steam baths, castles and tenements, and in bathrooms of every description. She reveals the bizarre rescriptions of history’s doctors as well as the hygienic peccadilloes of kings, mistresses, monks and ordinary citizens, and guides us through the twists and turns to our own understanding of clean, which is no more rational than the rest. Filled with amusing anecdotes and quotations from the great bathers of history, The Dirt on Clean takes us on a journey that is by turns intriguing, humorous, startling and not always for the squeamish. Ashenburg’s tour of history’s baths and bathrooms reveals much about our changing and most intimate selves – what we desire, what we ignore, what we fear, and a significant part of who we are.

    He worked for the Australian Financial Review in Melbourne, Sydney and Perth before being posted as a correspondent to Jakarta and Shanghai. Andrew is currently a senior business journalist for the Australian in Perth, where he has covered the WA mining boom since 2006. He won the business prize at the West Australian media awards in 2006 and 2009.

    And lost a lot.One afternoon he added up how much he had squandered during the course of his professional career. It made for uncomfortable reading...Manchester United £60,000Newcastle United £1,102,000Blackburn Rovers £3,510,000Leicester City £1,050,000Sheffield United £670,000Bradford City £15,000 Glentoran £43,875Total (plus extras) £7,215,875That day seemed a world away from 1993 when he burst on to the scene as a fresh-faced young star with Manchester United. A dark-haired lad from the streets of Northern Ireland with a God-given talent, he was dubbed the new George Best.One of the famous Fergie fledglings, he made his debut aged just 17 before moving on to Kevin Keegan’s Newcastle where he came so close to landing a Premiership title winner’s medal. International caps piled up too. It was a thrilling adventure. Flying down the wing and sharing pitches and dressing rooms with legends, but behind the success and glamour, it was a different story.Like Best, Gillespie had a talent for self-destruction. He liked a drink and there were women but they weren’t causing a big problem – it was keeping hold of the millions he had earned from the game that ultimately proved his downfall.It wasn’t just about gambling. A nightmare ordeal during a training break in La Manga landed him in jail for a crime he did not commit. Then, in 2010, Gillespie became headline news again when a series of flawed business deals saw him declared bankrupt.How Not To Be A Football Millionaire is one of the most honest autobiographies you will read, about a player who lived the football life to the full.It tells a fascinating and moving human story of the darker side of the glory game. About winning and losing, fortune and fate, hope and heartache... About having the world at your feet and being left to ask yourself: ‘Where did it all go wrong?

    But none of this experience will prepare you for the world’s biggest technological marvel: a newborn baby.   Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Baby Owner’s Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: What’s the best way to swaddle a baby? How can I make my newborn sleep through the night? When should I bring the baby to a doctor for servicing? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers here—courtesy of celebrated pediatrician Dr. Louis Borgenicht and his son, Joe Borgenicht. Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of childcare.

    She is staring down the barrel at a future of people asking if she wants to come to their yoga class, and book clubs, where everyone is wearing statement scarves and they are all ‘tiddly’ after a glass of Pinot Grigio. But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’, boasting about Boy Child and Girl Child’s achievements. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering FML over and over, and then remembers the gem of an idea she’s had…

    But the Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise a true, unadulterated cat when we see one.For example: real cats have ears that look like they've been trimmed with pinking shears; real cats never wear flea collars . . . or appear on Christmas cards . . . or chase anything with a bell in it; real cats do eat quiche. And giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the table, if they think they can get away with it. Real cats can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away . . .

    

    At first unable to run 400 metres without stopping, Laura has now completed five marathons, the most recent in under four hours. Along the way, Laura learns countless lessons about running, most of them the hard way. But most importantly this self-confessed couch potato learns to love running. As well as offering inspiration and motivation to get out there and run, her book offers tips on how to make running easier and more enjoyable. Offering practical information on buying the right kit, choosing the best race and what to do on race day, it also tackles the important running questions you might be embarrassed to ask – like when will it get easier? And what happens if I need the toilet?

    Navy SEAL is a collection of true events about the author's time in U.S. Navy SEAL Teams and how SEALs use their humor to cope with all sorts of tragic events that they experience in their professional careers. This book offers the reader a personal glimpse into the minds of America's most elite warriors. The stories explain how SEALs bond with each other to become brothers-in-arms through their difficult training and tactical missions. This book also explains why SEALs use extreme humor, on themselves and others, in order to cope with a job that places these professional warriors face to face with death on almost a daily basis There are are those who say that it is not logical to run into the face of danger, perhaps that explains why most people think that SEALs are crazy. We prefer to look danger in the eye and not run from it, perhaps this also explains why there are not so many of us. When The Bullet Hits Your Funny Bone takes the reader on an emotional roller-coaster ride of tragedy and laughter, giving the reader a complete inner circle view into the professional and personal lives of America's most elite warriors.

    When Lily the alpaca falls pregnant, they are in for an anxious few months as they battle against the odds to keep themselves afloat. 'In Seriously Mum, How Many Cats?' there is concern that the cats are going to take over the farm. There are cats in the barn, cats in the garden and even a cat invasion in the bedroom one night. Exploding tyres, flamenco dancing, religious parades and, of course, all your favourite animals return once again to entertain you in the latest story about these much-loved expats.

    It was a solid race, and he fought the good fight. Getting on the ballot as an independent -- a feat that had not been achieved in over a century -- was a victory in itself. And with ideas like "slots for tots" (legalized gambling to pay for education), the five Mexican generals plan (bribes to enforce border protection), and a firm stand against the "wussification" of the state, he would have done a helluva job.If that 2006 election was any indication -- and it was -- the political landscape in both Texas and the country at large needs a significant overhaul. The hucksters, the wealthy, and the twofaced rule; there is no room for Truth, and the little guys are quickly forgotten in all the muck. But Kinky, (briefly) down yet certainly not out, is still looking out for his fellow Americans, and he has much wisdom to impart.In this hilarious, thought-provoking manifesto, Kinky lays forth his ten commandments for improving the state of Texas and politics everywhere, and for restoring order, logic, decency, and above all a sense of humor back to this country. It's classic Kinky in a brand new way. And he might just have a point.

    Forget the ultralight, uncomfortable bikes, flashy jerseys, clunky shoes that clip onto tiny pedals, the grinding out of endless miles. Instead, ride like you did when you were a kid—just get on your bike and discover the pure joy of riding it.   A reformed racer who’s commuted by bike every day since 1980, whose writings and opinions appear in major bicycling and outdoor magazines, and whose company, Rivendell Bicycle Works, makes bikes for riders ready to opt out of a culture overrun by racing, Grant Petersen shares a lifetime of unexpected facts, controversial opinions, expert techniques, and his own maverick philosophy. In 87 short, two-to-three page chapters, it covers:Riding: Count Days, Not Miles; Corner Like Jackie Robinson; Steer with Your Hips, Shift with Your LegsSuiting Up: The Shoes Ruse; Ponchos—the Ultimate Unracer’s GarmentSafety: #1 Rule—Be Seen; Helmets Aren’t All They’re Cracked Up to BeHealth and Fitness: Why Riding Is Lousy All-Around Exercise; Saddles Don’t Cause Impotence; Drink When You’re Thirsty—Not Before Also includes chapters on Accessories, Upkeep, and Technicalities, and a final chapter titled “Velosophy” that includes the essential, memorable thought: Your Bike Is a Toy—Have Fun with It.

    But what about all the sh*t you do give a f*ck about-like your career, health, relationships, and bank account?Now, Sarah's back with more hilarious advice to make life easier and better. Whether your dream is to quit your day job and buy a food truck, pay off your debt, or just spend more time with your cat, Sarah cuts through the bullsh*t cycle of self-sabotage to show you how to be happy.You'll learn:Three simple tools for getting (and keeping) your sh*t togetherThe Power of Negative ThinkingHow to balance work and fun-and save money while you're at itWays to manage anxietyAnd tons of other awesome sh*t!Soon you'll be setting real goals, crushing them, and getting out the door for happy hour-every damn day.Praise for Sarah Knight"Genius." - Cosmopolitan"Self-help to swear by." - The Boston Globe"Hilarious [and] truly practical." - Booklist